LG 
331        Cope    - 


"i 


Southern  Branch 
of  the 

University  of  California 

Los  Angeles 

Form  L   I 


The  University  of  Chicago  Publications 
IN   Religious  Education 

EDITED  BY 

ERNEST  D.   BURTON  SHAILER  MATHEWS 

THEODORE  G.   SCARES 


CONSTRUCTIVE  STUDIES 


THE  UNIVEESITY  OP  CHICAGO  PEESS 
CHICAGO,  ILLINOIS 


Agrnta 
THE  CAMBRIDGE  UNIVEESITY  PEESS 

LONDON  AND  EDINBCKOH 

THE  MAEUZEN-KABUSHIKI-KAISHA 

TOKYO,  OSAKA,  KYOTO 

EAEL  W.  HIEESEMANN  * 

LEIPZIG 

THE  BAKEE  &  TAYLOE  COMPANY 

NEW  TOEK 


\ 


RELIGIOUS   EDUCATION 
IN  THE  FAMILY 


By 

Henry  F.  Cope 

General  Secretary  of  the  Religious  Education 
Association 


THE  UNIVERSITY  OF  CHICAGO  PRESS 
CHICAGO,  ILLINOIS 


Copyright  1915  By 
The  University  of  Chicago 


All  Rights  Reserved 


Published  April  IQ15 

Second  Impression  September  1915 

Third  Impression  March  1916 


Composed  and  Printed  By 

The  University  of  Chicago  Press 

Chicago.  Illinois.  U.S.A. 


L 


v_ 


PREFACE 

When  the  Constructive  Studies  were  first  pro- 
jected the  church  was  ahnost  without  textbooks 
LQ  religious  education.  The  Sunday  school  had 
always  concerned  itself  with  a  discussion  of  the 
passages  of  the  Bible,  but  had  learned  Httle  about 
proper  methods  of  ascertaining  the  significance 
of  that  literature.  The  most  pressing  need,  there- 
fore, at  the  beginning  of  the  new  movement  in 
reHgious  education  was  the  preparation  of  text- 
books that  should  direct  students  to  the  correct 
method  of  the  examination  of  the  bibhcal  material 
and  consideration  of  its  meaning,  in  order  that 
they  might  construct  for  themselves  the  life,  the 
experience,  the  teaching  therein  contained.  These 
Constructive  Studies  in  the  Bible  have  now 
attained  a  practically  complete  curriculum,  and 
the  series  will  continue  to  be  enlarged  and 
improved. 

But  a  thorough  system  of  reHgious  education 
will  comprise  in  addition  to  a  bibhcal  curriculum 
many  other  studies.  And  these  also  ought  to  be 
constructive.  That  is  to  say,  students  in  religion 
and  morals  should  be  observers,  investigators, 
using  textbooks  as  guides  that  may  help  them  to 
huild  up  right  attitudes,  appreciations,  under- 
standings. 


viii  Preface 

Henderson's  Social  Duties  from  the  Christian 
Point  of  View,  and  Johnson's  Problems  of  Boyhood 
are  the  beginning  of  a  complete  series  of  textbooks 
that  will  deal  with  the  moral  and  rehgious  problems 
of  life,  comprising  the  ethical  group  of  the  Con- 
structive Studies. 

Central  in  these  vital  problems  and  central  in 
religious  education  is  the  Hfe  of  the  family.  The 
church  has  always  realized  its  duty  to  exhort 
parents  to  bring  up  their  children  in  the  nurture 
and  admonition  of  the  Lord,  but  very  Httle  has 
ever  been  done  to  enable  parents  to  study  syste- 
matically and  scientifically  the  problem  of  rehgious 
education  in  the  family.  Today  parents'  classes 
are  being  formed  in  many  churches;  Christian 
Associations,  women's  clubs,  and  institutes  are 
studying  the  subject;  individual  parents  are 
becoming  more  and  more  interested  in  the  rational 
performance  of  their  high  duties.  And  there  is 
a  general  desire  for  guidance.  As  the  full  bibU- 
ography  at  the  end  of  this  volume  and  the  references 
in  connection  with  each  chapter  indicate,  there  is 
available  a  very  large  Uterature  dealing  with  the 
various  elements  of  the  problem.  But  a  guide- 
book to  organize  all  this  material  and  to  stimulate 
independent  thought  and  endeavor  is  desirable. 

To  afford  this  guidance  the  present  volume  has 
been  prepared.  It  is  equally  adapted  for  the 
thoughtful  study  of  the  father  and  mother  who  are 


Preface  ix 

seeking  help  in  the  moral  and  religious  develop- 
ment of  their  own  family,  and  for  classes  in  churches, 
institutes,  and  neighborhoods,  where  the  important 
problems  of  the  family  are  to  be  studied  and  dis- 
cussed. It  would  be  well  to  begin  the  use  of  the 
book  by  reading  the  suggestions  for  class  work  at 
the  end  of  the  volume. 

With  a  confident  hope  that  religion  in  the 
family  is  not  to  be  a  wistful  memory  of  the  past  but 
a  most  vital  force  in  the  making  of  the  better  day 
that  is  coming,  this  volume  is  offered  as  a  contri- 
bution and  a  summons. 

The  Editors 

New  Year's  Day,  1915 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTEK  PAGE 

I.  An  Interpretation  of  the  Family       .     .  i 

II.  The  Present  Status  of  Family  Life      .  lo 

III.  The  Permanent  Elements  in  Family  Life  27 

IV.  The  Religious  Place  of  the  Family  .     .  37 

V.  The  Meaning  of  Religious  Education 

IN  the  Family 46 

VI.  The  Child's  Religious  Ideas     ....  60 

VII.  Directed  Activity 75 

VIII.  The  Home  as  a  School 87 

IX.  The  Child's  Ideal  Life loi 

X.  Stories  and  Reading no 

XI.  The  Use  of  the  Bible  in  the  Home  .     .  119 

XII.  Family  Worship 126 

XIII.  Sunday  in  the  Home 145 

XIV.  The  Ministry  of  the  Table      ....  164 
XV.  The  Boy  and  Girl  in  the  Family  .     .     .  173 

XVT.  The  Needs  of  Youth 183 

XVII.  The  Family  and  the  Church     ....  198 

XVIII.  Children  and  the  School 212 

XIX.  Dealing  with  Moral  Crises     ....  218 
xi 


xii  Contents 

CHAPTER  TACX 

XX.   Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  (Continued)  231 

XXI.  Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  (Continued)  240 

XXII.  Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  (Concluded)  249 

XXIII.  The    Personal    Factors    in    Religious 
Education 259 

XXIV.  Looking  to  the  Future 268 

Suggestions  for  Class  Work 281 

A  Book  List 290 


CHAPTER  I 

AN  INTERPRETATION  OF  THE  FAMILY 
§  I,      TAKING  THE  HOME  IN  RELIGIOUS  TERMS 

The  ills  of  the  modem  home  are  symptomatic. 
Divorce,  childless  families,  irreverent  children, 
and  the  decadence  of  the  old  type  of  separate  home 
Hfe  are  signs  of  forgotten  ideals,  lost  motives,  and 
insujQ&cient  purposes.  Where  the  home  is  only  an 
opportunity  for  self-indulgence,  it  easily  becomes 
a  cheap  boarding-house,  a  sleeping-shelf,  an 
implement  for  social  advantage.  While  it  is  true 
that  general  economic  developments  have  effected 
marked  changes  in  domestic  economy,  the  happi- 
ness and  efi&ciency  of  the  family  do  not  depend 
wholly  on  the  parlor,  the  kitchen,  or  the  clothes 
closet.  Rather,  everything  depends  on  whether 
the  home  and  family  are  considered  in  worthy  and 
adequate  terms. 

Homes  are  wrecked  because  families  refuse  to 
take  home-Hving  in  religious  terms,  in  social  terms 
of  sacrifice  and  service.  In  such  homes,  organized 
and  conducted  to  satisfy  personal  desires  rather 
than  to  meet  social  responsibilities,  these  desires  be- 
come ends  rather  than  agencies  and  opportunities. 

They  who  marry  for  lust  are  divorced  for 
further    lust.     Selfishness,    even    in    its    form   of 


2       Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

self-preservation,  is  an  unstable  foundation  for  a 
home.  It  costs  too  much  to  maintain  a  home  if  you 
measure  it  by  the  personal  advantages  of  parents. 
What  hope  is  there  for  useful  and  happy  family 
life  if  the  newly  wedaed  youth  have  both  been 
educated  in  selfishness,  habituated  to  frivolous 
pleasures,  and  guided  by  ideals  of  success  in  terms 
of  garish  display?  Yet  what  definite  program 
for  any  other  training  does  society  provide  ?  Do 
the  schools  and  colleges,  Sunday  schools  and 
churches  teach  youth  a  better  way?  How  else 
shall  they  be  trained  to  take  the  home  and  family 
in  terms  that  will  make  for  happiness  and  useful- 
ness? It  is  high  time  to  take  seriously  the  task 
of  educating  people  to  religious  efficiency  in  the 
home. 

§  2.      THE   RELIGIOUS   MOTIVE 

The  family  needs  a  religious  motive.  More 
potent  for  happiness  than  courses  in  domestic 
economy  will  be  training  in  sufficient  domestic 
motives.  It  will  take  much  more  than  modern 
conveniences,  bigger  apartments,  or  even  better 
kitchens  to  make  the  new  home.  Essentially  the 
problem  is  not  one  of  mechanics  but  of  persons. 
What  we  call  the  home  problem  is  more  truly 
a  family  problem.  It  centers  in  persons;  the 
solution  awaits  a  race  with  new  ideals,  educated 
to  live  as  more  than  dust,  for  more  than  dirt,  for 
personality  rather  than  for  possessions.    We  need 


An  Interpretation  of  the  Family         3 

young  people  who  establish  homes,  not  simply 
because  they  feel  miserable  when  separated,  nor 
because  one  needs  a  place  in  which  to  board  and 
the  other  needs  a  boarder,  but  because  the  largest 
duty  and  joy  of  life  is  to  enrich  the  world  with 
other  Hves  and  to  give  themselves  in  high  love 
to  making  those  other  Uves  of  the  greatest  possible 
worth  to  the  world. 

The  family  must  come  to  a  recognition  of 
social  obligations.  We  all  hope  for  the  coming 
ideal  day.  Everywhere  men  and  women  are 
answering  to  higher  ideals  of  Hfe.  But  the  new 
day  waits  for  a  new  race.  Modern  emphasis  on 
the  child  is  a  part  of  present  reaction  from  mate- 
rialism. New  social  ideals  are  personal.  We  seek 
a  better  world  for  the  sake  of  a  higher  race.  The 
emphasis  on  child-welfare  has  a  social  rather  than 
a  sentimental  basis.  The  family  is  our  great 
chance  to  determine  childhood  and  so  to  make  the 
future.  The  child  of  today  is  basic  to  the  social 
welfare  of  tomorrow.  He  is  our  chance  to  pay 
to  tomorrow  all  that  we  owe  to  yesterday.  The 
family  as  the  child's  life-school  is  thus  central  to 
every  social  program  and  problem. 

§  3.      WIDER  CHILD-WELFARE 

This  age  knows  that  man  does  not  live  by  bread 
alone.  Interest  in  child-welfare  is  for  the  sake 
of  the  child  himself,  not  for  the  sake  of  his  clothes 


4       Religious  Education  est  the  Family 

or  his  physical  condition.  Concern  about  soap 
and  sanitation,  hygiene  and  the  conveniences  of 
life  grows  because  these  all  go  to  make  up  the  soil 
in  which  the  person  grows.  There  is  danger  that 
our  emphasis  on  chila-welfare  may  be  that  of  the 
tools  instead  of  the  man;  that  we  may  become 
enmeshed  in  the  mechanism  of  well-being  and  lose 
sight  of  the  being  who  should  be  well.  To  fail  at 
the  point  of  character  is  to  fail  all  along  the  line. 
And  we  fail  altogether,  no  matter  how  many 
bathtubs  we  give  a  child,  how  many  playgrounds, 
medical  inspections,  and  inoculations,  unless  that 
child  be  in  himself  strong  and  high-minded,  loving 
truth,  hating  a  lie,  and  habituated  to  Kve  in  good- 
will with  his  fellows  and  with  high  ideals  for  the 
universe.  Modern  interest  in  the  material  factors 
of  life  is  on  account  of  their  potency  in  making 
real  selfhood;  we  acknowledge  the  importance  of 
the  physical  as  the  very  soil  in  which  Hfe  grows. 
But  the  fruits  are  more  than  the  soil,  and  a  home 
exists  for  higher  purposes  than  physical  conven- 
iences; these  are  but  its  tools  to  its  great  end. 
Somehow  for  purposes  of  social  well-being  we  must 
raise  our  thinking  of  the  family  to  the  aim  of  the 
development  of  efficient,  rightly  minded  character. 
The  family  must  be  seen  as  making  spiritual 
persons. 

§  4.      THE   COST   OF   A   FAMILY 

Taking  the  home  in  rehgious  terms  will  mean, 
then,  conceiving  it  as  an  institution  with  a  religious 


An  Interpretation  of  the  Family         5 

purpose,  namely,  that  of  giving  to  the  world 
children  who  are  adequately  trained  and  suffi- 
ciently motived  to  Live  the  social  Kfe  of  good-will. 
The  family  exists  to  give  society  developed, 
efficient  children.  It  fails  if  it  does  not  have 
a  religious,  a  spiritual  product.  It  cannot  succeed 
except  by  the  willing  self-devotion  of  adult  lives 
to  this  spiritual,  personal  purpose. 

A  family  is  the  primary  social  organization  for 
the  elementary  purpose  of  breeding  the  species, 
nurturing  and  training  the  young.  This  is  its 
physiological  basis.  But  its  duties  cannot  be  dis- 
charged on  the  physiological  plane  alone.  This 
elementary  physiological  function  is  Hfted  to 
a  spiritual  level  by  the  aim  of  character  and  the 
motive  of  love.  Famihes  cannot  be  measured  by 
their  size;  they  must  be  measured  by  the  character 
of  their  products.  If  quality  counts  anywhere  it 
counts  here,  though  it  is  well  to  remember  that  it 
takes  some  reasonable  quantity  to  make  right 
quality  in  each. 

The  family  needs  a  religious  motive.  It 
demands  sacrifice.  To  follow  lower  impulses  is 
to  invite  disaster.  The  home  breeds  bitterness 
and  sorrow  wherever  men  and  women  court  for 
lust,  marry  for  social  standing,  and  maintain  an 
estabhshment  only  as  a  part  of  the  game  of  social 
competition.  To  sow  the  winds  of  passion,  ease, 
idle  luxury,  pride,  and  greed  is  to  reap  the  whirl- 
wind.    Moreover,  it  is  to  miss  the  great  chance 


6       Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

of  life,  the  chance  to  find  that  short  cut  to  happi- 
ness which  men  call  pain  and  suffering. 

A  family  is  humanity's  great  opportunity  to 
walk  the  way  of  the  cross.  Mothers  know  that; 
some  fathers  know  it;  some  children  grow  up  to 
learn  it.  In  homes  where  this  is  true,  where  all 
other  aims  are  subordinated  to  this  one  of  making 
the  home  count  for  high  character,  to  training 
lives  into  right  social  adjustment  and  service,  the 
primary  emphasis  is  not  on  times  and  seasons  for 
rehgion;  rehgion  is  the  life  of  that  home,  and  in 
all  its  common  Hving  every  child  learns  the  way  of 
the  great  Life  of  all.  In  vain  do  we  torture  chil- 
dren with  adult  rehgious  penances,  long  prayers, 
and  homihes,  thinking  thereby  to  give  them  reli- 
gious training.  The  good  man  comes  out  of  the 
good  home,  the  home  that  is  good  in  character, 
aim,  and  organization,  not  sporadically  but  per- 
manently, the  home  where  the  religious  spirit,  the 
spirit  of  ideahsm,  and  the  sense  of  the  infinite  and 
divine  are  diffused  rather  than  injected.  The 
inhuman,  antisocial  vampires,  who  suck  their 
brothers'  blood,  whether  they  be  called  magnates 
or  mob-leaders,  grafters  or  gutter  thieves,  often 
learned  to  take  hfe  in  terms  of  graft  by  the  attitude 
and  atmosphere  of  their  homes.^ 

'  The  Corner-Stone  of  Education,  by  Edward  Lyttleton, 
headmaster  of  Eton,  is  a  striking  argument  on  the  determinative 
influence  of  parental  habits  and  attitudes  of  mind. 


An  Interpretation  of  the  Family         7 

§  5.    motives  for  a  study  of  the  family 

The  modern  family  is  worthy  of  our  careful 
study.  It  demands  painstaking  attention,  both 
because  of  its  immediate  importance  to  human 
happiness  and  because  of  its  potentiality  for  the 
future  of  society.  The  kind  of  home  and  the  char- 
acter of  family  Kfe  which  will  best  serve  the  world 
and  fulfil  the  will  of  God  cannot  be  determined 
by  sentiment  or  supposition.  We  are  under  the 
highest  and  sternest  obligation  to  discover  the 
laws  of  the  family,  those  social  laws  which  are 
determined  by  its  nature  and  purpose,  to  find 
right  standards  for  family  life,  to  discriminate 
between  the  things  that  are  permanent  and  those 
that  are  passing,  between  those  we  must  conserve 
and  those  we  must  discard,  to  be  prepared  to  fit 
children  for  the  finer  and  higher  type  of  family 
life  that  must  come  in  the  future. 

Methods  of  securing  family  efficiency  will  not 
be  discovered  by  accident.  If  it  is  worth  while 
to  study  the  minor  details,  such  as  baking  cakes 
and  sweeping  floors,  surely  it  is  even  more  impor- 
tant to  study  the  larger  problems  of  organization 
and  discipline.  There  is  a  science  of  home- 
direction  and  an  art  of  family  living;  both  must 
be  learned  with  patient  study. 

It  is  a  costly  thing  to  keep  a  home  where  honor, 
the  joy  of  love,  and  high  ideals  dwell  ever.  It  costs 
time,  pleasures,  and  so-called  social  advantages,  as 


8       Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

well  as  money  and  labor.  It  must  cost  thought, 
study,  and  investigation.  It  demands  and  deserves 
sacrifice;  it  is  too  sacred  to  be  cheap.  The  build- 
ing of  a  home  is  a  work  that  endures  to  eternity, 
and  that  kind  of  work  never  was  done  with  ease 
or  without  pain  and  loss  and  the  investment  of 
much  time.  Patient  study  of  the  problems  of  the 
family  is  a  part  of  the  price  which  aU  may  pay. 

No  nobler  social  work,  no  deeper  religious  work, 
no  higher  educational  work  is  done  anywhere  than 
that  of  the  men  and  women,  high  or  humble,  who 
set  themselves  to  the  fitting  of  their  children  for 
life's  business,  equipping  them  with  principles  and 
habits  upon  which  they  may  fall  back  in  trying 
hours,  and  making  of  home  the  sweetest,  strongest, 
hoHest,  happiest  place  on  earth. 

Heaven  only  knows  the  price  that  must  be  paid 
for  that;  heaven  only  knows  the  worth  of  that 
work.  But  if  we  are  wise  we  shall  each  take  up 
our  work  for  our  world  where  it  lies  nearest  to  us, 
in  co-operation  with  parents,  in  service  and  sacri- 
fice as  parents  or  kin,  our  work  in  the  shop  where 
manhood  is  in  the  making,  where  it  is  being  made 
fit  to  dwell  long  in  the  land,  in  the  family  at  home. 

I.    References  for  Stxjdy 

Edward  Lyttleton,  The  Corner-Stone  of  Education,  chaps. 

i,  vii.     Putnam,  $i .  50. 
A.  Gandier,  "Religious  Education  in  the  Home,"  Religious 

Education,  June,  1914,  pp.  233-42. 


An  Interpretation  of  the  Family         9 

II,    Further  Reading 

The  Family  a  Religious  Agency 

C.  F.  and  C.  B.  Thwing,  The  Family.    Lothrop,  Lee  & 

Shepard,  $1.60. 
J.  D.  Folsom,  Religious  Education  in  the  Home.    Eaton  & 

Mains,  $0.75. 
G.  A.  Coe,  Education  in  Religion  and  Morals.    Revell,  $1.35. 

The  Place  of  the  Family 

A.  J.  Todd,  The  Family  as  an  Educational  Agency.  Put- 
nam, $2 .  00. 

W.  F.  Lofthouse,  Ethics  and  the  Family.  Hodder  & 
Stoughton,  $2. 50. 

J.  B.  Robins,  The  Family  a  Necessity.     Revell,  $1.  25. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  Describe  the  changes  within  recent  times  in  the 
conditions  of  the  home,  its  work,  housing,  and  supplies. 
How  far  have  these  changes  aflfected  the  community  of  the 
family,  the  continuity  of  its  personal  relationships,  and  its 
religious  service  ? 

2.  What  are  the  fundamental  causes  of  family  disasters  ? 
Admitting  that  there  are  sufi&cient  grounds  for  divorce  in 
numerous  instances,  what  other  causes  enter  into  the  high 
number  of  divorces  ? 

3.  State  in  your  own  terms  the  ultimate  reasons  for  the 
maintenance  of  a  family. 

4.  What  are  the  motives  which  would  make  people 
willing  to  bear  the  high  cost  of  founding  and  conducting  a 
home? 

5.  What  points  of  emphasis  does  this  study  suggest  in 
the  matter  of  the  education  of  public  opinion  ? 

6.  State  your  distinction  between  the  family  and  the 
home;  which  is  the  more  important  and  why  ? 


CHAPTER  II 

THE  PRESENT  STATUS  OF  FAMILY  LIFE 

§  I.      CONTRASTED  TYPES 

In  a  beautiful  village,  in  one  of  the  farther 
western  states',  two  men  were  discussing  the  pos- 
sible future  of  the  home  and  of  family  Hfe.  Sitting 
in  the  brilliant  moonhght,  looking  through  the 
leafy  shades,  watching  the  lights  of  a  score  of 
homes,  each  surrounded  by  lawn  and  shade  trees, 
each  with  its  group  on  the  front  porch,  where  vines 
trailed  and  flowers  bloomed,  listening  to  the  hum 
of  conversation  and  the  strains  of  music  in  one 
home  and  another,  it  seemed,  to  at  least  one  of 
these  men,  that  this  type  of  living  could  hardly 
pass  away.  The  separate  home,  each  family  a 
complete  social  integer,  each  with  its  own  circle 
of  activities  and  interests,  its  own  group,  and  its 
own  table  and  fireside,  seemed  too  fine  and  beauti- 
ful, too  fair  and  helpful,  to  perish  under  economic 
pressure.  Indeed,  one  felt  that  the  village  home 
furnished  a  setting  for  Hfe  and  a  soil  for  character 
development  far  higher  and  more  efficient  than 
could  be  afforded  by  any  other  domestic  arrange- 
ment— that  it  approached  the  ideal. 

But  two  weeks  later  two  men  sat  in  an  uppei 
room,  in  the  second  largest  city  in  America,  dis- 


Present  Status  of  Family  Life         ii 

cussing  again  the  future  of  the  family.  Instead 
of  the  quiet  music  of  the  village,  the  clang  of  street 
cars  filled  the  ears,  trains  rushed  by,  children 
shouted  from  the  paved  highway,  families  were 
seated  by  open  windows  in  crowded  apartments, 
seeking  cool  air;  the  total  impression  was  that  of 
being  placed  in  a  pigeonhole  in  a  huge,  heated, 
filing-case,  where  each  separate  space  was  occupied 
by  a  family.  One  felt  the  pressure  of  heated, 
crowded  kitchens,  suffocating  little  dining-rooms; 
one  knew  that  the  babies  lay  crying  in  their  beds 
at  night,  gasping  their  very  fives  away,  and  that 
the  young  folks  were  wandering  off  to  amusement 
parks  and  moving-picture  shows.  Here  was  an 
entirely  different  picture.  How  long  could  family 
fife  persist  under  these  conditions  where  privacy 
was  almost  gone  and  comfort  almost  unknown  ? 

In  the  village  separate  home  integers  appear 
ideal;  in  the  city  they  are  possible  only  to  the  few. 
The  many,  at  present,  find  them  a  crushing  burden. 
Desirable  as  privacy  is,  it  can  be  purchased  at  too 
high  a  price.  It  costs  too  much  to  maintain 
separate  kitchens  and  dining-rooms  under  city 
conditions. 

§  2.      COMMUNAL   TENDENCIES 

Present  conditions  spell  waste,  inefficiency,  dis- 
comfort. The  woman  fives  all  day  in  stifling 
rooms,  poorly  fighted,  with  the  nerve-racking  fife 


12      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

of  neighbors  pouring  itself  through  walls  and 
windows.  The  men  come  from  crowded  shops 
and  the  children  from  crowded  schoolrooms  to 
crowd  themselves  into  these  rooms,  to  snatch 
a  meal,  or  to  sleep.  How  can  there  be  real  family 
life  ?  What  joy  can  there  be  or  what  ideals  created 
in  daily  discomfort  and  distress?  Little  wonder 
that  such  homes  are  sleeping-places  only,  that 
there  is  no  sense  of  family  intercourse  and  unity. 
Little  wonder  that  restaurant  life  has  succeeded 
family  life. 

Many  hold  that  we  are  ready  for  a  movement 
into  community  living,  that  just  as  the  social  life 
of  the  separate  house  porches  in  the  villages  has 
become  communized  into  the  amusement  parks 
in  the  cities,  so  all  the  activities  of  the  family 
will  move  in  the  same  direction.  How  long 
could  the  family  as  a  unit  continue  under  these 
conditions  ? 

The  village  life  will  persist  for  a  long  time;  it 
may  be  that,  when  we  apply  scientific  methods 
to  the  transportation  of  human  beings  in  the  same 
measure  as  we  have  to  the  moving  of  pig  iron,  we 
can  develop  large  belts  of  real  village  hfe  all  around 
our  industrial  centers.  But  more  and  more  the 
village  tends  to  become  like  the  city;  in  other 
words,  highly  organized  communal  life  is  the 
dominant  trend  today.  Just  as  business  tends 
to  do  on  a  large  scale  all  that  can  be  more  economi- 


Present  Status  of  Family  Life  13 

cally  done  in  larger  units,  so  does  the  home.  We 
must  look  for  the  increasing  prevalence  of  the  city 
type  of  life  for  men  and  women  and  for  famihes. 

§  3.   THE  ECONOMICAL  DEVELOPMENT 

It  is  worth  while  to  note,  in  some  brief  detail, 
just  what  changes  are  involved  in  the  tendency 
toward  communal  Hving.  At  the  beginning  of 
the  industrial  revolution  which  ushered  in  the 
factory  period,  each  family  was  a  fairly  complete 
unit  in  itself.  The  village  was  Httle  more  than  a 
nucleus  of  farmhouses,  with  a  few  differing  types 
of  units,  such  as  workers  in  wood,  in  wearing 
apparel,  and  in  tools.  The  home  furnished  nearly 
all  its  own  food,  spun  and  made  its  clothes,  trained 
its  own  children,  and  knew  scarcely  any  community 
endeavor  or  any  syndication  of  effort  except  in  the 
church. 

The  industrial  revolution  took  labor  largely 
out  of  the  home  into  the  factory.  Except  for 
farm  Hfe,  the  husband  became  an  outside  worker 
and  the  older  boys  followed  him  to  the  distant 
shop  or  factory.  Earning  a  Hving  ceased  to  be  a 
family  act  and  became  a  social  act  in  a  larger 
sphere.  But  in  this  change  it  ceased  to  be  a  part 
of  the  family  educational  process.  Boys  who, 
from  childhood  up,  had  gradually  learned  their 
father's  trade  in  the  shop  or  workroom,  which 
was   part   of    the    house,   where    they  played   as 


14      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

children  in  the  shavings,  or  watched  the  glowing 
sparks  in  the  smithy,  now  missed  the  process  of 
a  father's  discipline  and  guidance  as  their  hands 
acquired  facility  for  their  tasks.  The  home  lost 
the  male  adults  for  from  nine  to  twelve  hours  of 
each  day,  more  than  two-thirds  of  the  waking 
period,  and  thus  it  lost  a  large  share  of  disciplinary 
guidance.  In  the  rise  of  the  factory  system,  to  a 
large  extent  the  family  lost  the  father. 

When  the  workshop  left  the  home  its  most 
efficient  school  was  taken  from  it.  The  lessons 
may  have  been  limited,  crude,  and  deadly  practical, 
but  the  method  approximated  to  the  ideals  which 
modem  pedagogy  seeks  to  realize.  Among  the 
shavings  children  learned  by  doing;  schooling  was 
perfectly  natural;  it  involved  all  the  powers;  it 
had  the  incalculable  value  of  informality  and 
reality.  The  father  gone  and  the  mother  still 
fully  occupied  with  her  tasks,  the  children  lost 
that  practical  training  for  life  which  home  industry 
had  afforded.  On  the  one  hand,  the  young  became 
the  victims  of  idleness  and,  on  the  other,  the  prey 
of  the  voracious  factory  system. 

This  condition  gave  rise  to  the  public-school 
system.  It  appealed  to  Robert  Raikes  and  others. 
The  school  appeared  and  took  over  the  child.  Of 
course  schools  had  existed,  here  and  there,  long 
before  this,  but  now  they  had  an  enlarged  responsi- 
bility;   they  must  act  almost  in  the  place  of  the 


Present  Status  of  Family  Life  15 

parents  for  the  formal  training  of  children.  Hav- 
ing lost  the  father  and  older  males  for  the  greater 
portion  of  the  day,  the  home  now  loses  the  children 
of  from  seven  to  the  '"teen"  years  for  five  or  six 
hours  of  the  day.  The  mother  is  left  at  home  with 
the  babies.  The  family,  once  living  under  one 
roof,  now  is  found  scattered;  it  has  reached  out 
into  factory  and  school.  Its  hours  of  unified  life 
have  been  markedly  reduced. 

But  the  factory  system  soon  had  a  reflex  in- 
fluence on  the  home.  That  which  was  made  in 
the  factory  came  back  into  the  home,  not  only  in 
the  form  of  the  articles  formerly  made  by  the  men, 
but  in  those  made  by  the  women.  Clothes, 
candles,  butter,  cheese,  preserves,  and  meat — all 
formerly  home  products  for  the  use  of  the  family 
producing  them — now  were  prepared  in  larger 
quantities,  by  mechanical  processes,  and  were 
brought  back  into  the  home.  Woman's  labor  was 
lightened;  the  older  girls  were  Hberated  from  the 
loom  and  they  began  to  seek  occupation,  education, 
and  diversion  according  to  their  opportunities 
in  life. 

That  last  step  made  it  possible  for  people  to 
think  of  the  communization  of  home  industry,  to 
think  of  eating  food  cooked  in  other  ovens  than 
their  own,  to  think  of  one  oven  large  enough  for  a 
whole  village.  Many  interesting  experiments  in 
co-operative   living  immediately  sprang  up.     But 


1 6      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

the  next  step  came  slowly  and,  even  now,  is  only 
firmly  established  in  the  cities,  in  the  actual  aban- 
donment of  the  family  kitchen  for  the  community 
kitchen  in  the  form  of  the  restaurant.  In  such 
famiUes  we  have  unity  only  in  the  hours  of  sleep 
and  recreation. 

Along  with  abandonment  of  the  separate  kitchen 
there  has  proceeded  the  abandonment  of  the  parlor 
in  the  homes  of  the  middle  classes.  To  lose  the 
old,  mournful  front  room  may  be  no  subject  for 
tears,  but  the  loss  of  the  evening  family  group, 
about  the  fireside  or  the  reading-lamp,  is  a  real 
and  sad  loss.  The  commerce  in  amusements  has 
offered  greater  attractions  to  vigorous  youth.  The 
theater  and  its  lesser  satellites,  amusements,  enter- 
tainments, lectures,  the  lyceum,  and  recreation- 
by-proxy  in  ball  games  and  matches  have  taken  the 
place  of  united  family  recreation.  Of  course  this 
has  been  a  natural  development  of  the  older  village 
play-Hfe  and  has  been  by  no  means  an  unmixed  ill. 

Now,  behold,  what  has  become  of  the  old-time 
home  life!  The  family  that  spent  nearly  twenty- 
four  hours  together  now  spends  a  scarce  seven  or 
eight,  and  these  are  occupied  in  sleeping!  Little 
wonder  that  the  next  step  is  taken — the  abandon- 
ment of  this  remainder,  the  sleep  period,  under  a 
domestic  roof,  as  the  family  moves  into  a  hotel! 

Along  with  the  tendency  toward  communal 
working  and  eating  we  see  the  tendency  to  com- 


Present  Status  of  Family  Life         17 

munal  living  by  the  development  of  the  apartment 
building.  Since  roof-trees  are  so  expensive,  and 
since  in  a  practical  age,  few  of  us  can  afford  to 
pay  for  sentiment,  why  not  put  a  dozen  famiHes 
under  one  roof-tree  ?  True  we  sacrifice  lawns, 
gardens,  natural  places  for  children  to  play;  we 
lose  birds  and  flowers  and  the  charm  of  evening 
hours  on  porches,  or  galleries,  but  think  of  what 
we  gain  in  bricks  and  mortar,  in  labor  saved  from 
splitting  wood  and  shoveling  coal,  in  janitor 
service!  The  transition  is  now  complete;  the 
home  is  simply  that  item  in  the  economic  machinery 
which  will  best  furnish  us  storage  for  our  sleeping 
bodies  and  our  clothes! 

We  are  undoubtedly  in  a  period  of  great  changes 
in  family  Hfe,  and  no  family  can  count  on  escaping 
the  influence  of  the  change.  The  one  single  out- 
standing and  most  potent  change,  so  far  as  the 
character  of  family  life  is  concerned,  is,  in  the 
United  States,  the  rapid  polarization  of  population 
in  the  cities.  The  United  States  Census  Bureau 
counts  all  residents  in  cities  of  over  8,000  popula- 
tion as  "urban."  In  1800  the  "urban"  popula- 
tion was  4  per  cent  of  the  total  population;  in 
1850  it  was  12.5  per  cent;  in  1870,  20.9  per  cent; 
in  1890,  29.2  per  cent;  in  1900,  33.1  per  cent; 
in  1 9 10  it  was  estimated  at  40  per  cent.^     Here 

'Figures  taken  from  C.  W.  Votaw,  Progress  of  Moral  and 
Religiom  Education  in  the  American  Home,  191 1. 


1 8      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

is  a  trend  so  clearly  marked  that  we  cannot  deny 
its  reality,  while  its  significance  is  familiar  to 
everyone  today. 

However,  the  village  type  remains;  there  are 
still  many  homes  where  a  measure  of  family  unity 
persists,  where  at  least  in  one  meal  daily  and,  for 
purposes  of  sleeping  and,  occasionally,  for  the 
evening  hours  of  recreation,  there  is  a  consciousness 
of  home  life.  Yet  the  most  remote  village  feels 
the  pressure  of  change.  The  few  homes  conform- 
ing to  the  older  ideals  are  recognized  as  exceptional. 
The  city  draws  the  village  and  rural  family  to 
itself,  and  the  contagion  of  its  customs  and  ideals 
spreads  through  the  villages  and  affects  the  forms 
of  hving  there.  Youths  become  city  dwellers  and 
do  not  cease  to  scoff  at  the  village  unless  later 
years  give  them  wisdom  to  appreciate  its  higher 
values.  The  standard  of  domestic  organization 
is  established  by  the  city;  that  type  of  living  is 
the  ideal  toward  which  nearly  all  are  striving. 

The  important  question  for  all  persons  is  whether 
the  changes  now  taking  place  in  family  Ufe  are 
good  or  ill.  It  is  impossible  to  say  whether  the 
whole  trend  is  for  the  better;  the  many  elements 
are  too  diverse  and  often  apparently  conflicting. 
Faith  in  the  orderly  development  of  society  gives 
ground  for  belief  that  these  changes  ultimately 
work  for  a  higher  type  of  family  life.  The  city 
may  be  regarded  as  only  a  transition  stage  in  social 


Present  Status  of  Family  Lite  19 

evolution — the  compacting  of  masses  of  persons 
together  that  out  of  the  new  fusing  and  welding 
may  arise  new  methods  of  social  living.  The 
larger  numbers  point  to  more  highly  developed 
forms  of  social  organization.  When  these  larger 
units  discover  their  greater  purposes,  above  factory 
and  mill  and  store,  and  realize  them  in  personal 
values,  the  city  Hfe  will  be  a  more  highly  developed 
mechanism  for  the  higher  life  of  man.  The  home 
life  will  develop  along  with  that  city  life. 

§4.      PURPOSEFUL   ORGANIZATION 

At  present  the  home  is  sufifering,  just  as  the  city 
is  suffering,  from  a  lack  of  that  purposeful  organiza- 
tion which  will  order  the  parts  aright  and  subject 
the  processes  to  the  most  important  and  ultimate 
purposes.  The  city  is  simply  an  aggregation  of 
persons,  scarcely  having  any  conscious  organiza- 
tion, thrown  together  for  purposes  of  industry. 
It  will  before  very  long  organize  itself  for  purpK)ses 
of  personal  welfare  and  education.  The  family 
is  usually  a  group  bound  in  ties  of  struggle  for 
shelter,  food,  and  pleasure.  Such  consciousness 
as  it  possesses  is  that  of  being  helplessly  at  the 
mercy  of  conflicting  economic  forces.  The  adjust- 
ment of  those  forces,  their  subjection  to  man's 
higher  interests,  must  come  in  the  future  and  will 
help  the  family  to  freedom  to  discover  its  true 
purpose. 


20      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

It  is  easy  to  insist  on  the  responsibility  of  parents 
for  the  character-training  of  their  children,  but  it 
is  difficult  to  see  how  that  responsibility  can  be 
properly  discharged  under  industrial  conditions 
that  take  both  father  and  mother  out  of  the  home 
the  whole  day  and  leave  them  too  weary  to  stay 
awake  in  the  evening,  too  poor  to  furnish  decent 
conditions  of  hving,  and  too  apathetic  under  the 
dull  monotony  of  labor  to  care  for  Hfe's  finer  inter- 
ests. The  welfare  of  the  family  is  tied  up  with  the 
welfare  of  the  race;  if  progress  can  be  secured  in 
one  part  progress  in  the  whole  ensues. 

There  are  those  who  raise  the  question  whether 
family  life  is  a  permanent  form  of  social  organiza- 
tion for  which  we  may  wisely  contend,  or  is  but  a 
phase  from  which  the  race  is  now  emerging.  Some 
see  signs  that  the  ties  of  marriage  will  be  but 
temporary,  that  children  will  be  born,  not  into 
families  but  into  the  hfe  of  the  state,  bearing  only 
their  mothers'  names  and  knowing  no  brothers 
and  sisters  save  in  the  brotherhood  of  the  state. 
Whether  the  permanent  elements  in  family  life 
furnish  a  sufficiently  worthy  basis  for  its  preserva- 
tion is  a  subject  for  careful  consideration. 

§  5.      THE  HOME  AND    THE  FAMILY 

The  family  is  more  important  than  the  home, 
just  as  the  man  is  more  than  his  clothing.  The 
form  of  the  home  changes;    the  hfe  of  the  family 


Present  Status  of  Family  Llfe         21 

continues  unchanged  in  its  essential  characteristics; 
The  family  causes  the  home  to  be.  Professor 
Arthur  J.  Todd  insists  that  the  family  is  the 
basis  of  marriage,  rather  than  marriage  the  cause 
of  the  family/  Small  groups  for  protection  and 
social  living  would  precede  formal  arrangements 
of  monogamy.  Westermarck  concludes  that  it 
was  "for  the  benefit  of  the  young  that  male  and 
female  continued  to  live  together."^  The  impor- 
tance of  this  consideration  for  us  Hes  in  the  thought 
of  the  overshadowing  importance  of  this  social 
group  which  we  now  call  the  family.  The  family 
is  the  primary  cell  of  society,  the  first  unit  in  social 
organization.  Our  thought  must  balance  itself 
between  the  importance  of  this  social  group,  to  be 
preserved  in  its  integrity,  and  the  value  of  the  home, 
with  its  varied  forms  of  activity  and  ministry,  as  a 
means  of  preserving  and  developing  this  group,  the 
family. 

One  hears  today  many  pessimistic  utterances 
regarding  the  modern  home.  Some  even  tell  us 
that  it  is  doomed  to  become  extinct.  Without 
doubt  great  economic  changes  in  society  are  pro- 
ducing profound  changes  in  the  organization  and 
character  of  the  home.  But  the  home  has  always 
been  subject  to  such  changes;    the  factor  which 

'  A.  J.  Todd,  Primitive  Family  and  Education,  p.  21.     A  most 
valuable  and  suggestive  book. 
»  Cited  by  Todd,  p.  21. 


22      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

we  need  to  watch  with  greater  care  is  the  family; 
the  former  is  but  the  shell  of  the  latter. 

The  character  of  each  home  will  depend  largely 
on  the  economic  condition  of  those  who  dwell  in 
it.  The  homes  of  every  age  will  reflect  the  social 
conditions  of  that  age.  The  picture  in  historical 
romances  of  the  home  of  the  mediaeval  period, 
where  the  factory,  or  shop,  joined  the  dining-room, 
where  the  apprentices  ate  and  roomed  in  the  home, 
where  one  might  be  compelled  to  furnish  and 
provision  his  home  literally  as  his  castle  for  defense, 
presents  a  marked  difference  to  the  home  of  this 
century  tending  to  syndicate  all  its  labors  with  all 
the  other  homes  of  the  community.  Since  the 
home  is  simply  the  organization  and  mechanism  of 
the  family  life,  it  is  most  susceptible  to  material  and 
social  changes.     It  varies  as  do  the  fashions  of  men. 

Much  that  we  assume  to  be  detrimental  to  the 
life  of  the  home  is  simply  due  to  the  fact  that  in 
the  evolution  of  society  the  family,  as  it  were, 
puts  on  a  new  suit  of  clothes,  adopts  new  forms  of 
organization  to  meet  the  changing  external  condi- 
tions. 

§  6.      THE  HOME   changing;    THE  FAMILY  ABIDING 

The  home  is  of  importance  only  as  a  tool,  a 
means  to  the  final  ends  of  the  family  life;  the 
test  of  its  efl&ciency  is  not  whether  it  maintains 
traditional  forms  but  whether  it  best  serves  the 


Present  Status  of  Family  Lite         23 

highest  aims  of  family  life.  We  may  abandon  all 
the  older  customs;  our  regret  for  them,  as  we  look 
back  on  the  days  of  home  cooking,  cannot  be  any 
greater  than  the  regrets  of  our  parents  or  grand- 
parents looking  back  on  the  spinning-wheel  and 
the  hand  loom  that  cumbered  the  kitchen  of  their 
childhood.  Surely  no  one  contends  that  family 
life  has  deteriorated,  that  human  character  is  one 
whit  the  poorer,  because  we  have  discarded  the 
family  spinning-wheel.  Through  the  changes  of 
a  developing  civilization,  as  man  has  moved  from 
the  time  when  each  one  built  his  own  house, 
worked  with  his  own  tools  to  make  all  his  supplies, 
to  these  days  of  specialized  service  in  community 
living,  the  home  has  changed  with  each  step  of 
industrial  progress,  but  the  family  has  remained 
practically  unchanged. 

The  family  stands  a  practically  unchanging 
factor  of  personal  qualities  at  the  center  of  our 
civilization;  the  family  rather  than  the  home  deter- 
mines the  character  of  the  coming  days.  In  its 
social  relationsliips  are  rooted  the  things  that  are 
best  in  all  our  lives.  In  its  social  training  lie  the 
solutions  of  more  problems  in  social  adjustment 
and  development  than  we  are  willing  to  admit. 
The  family  is  the  soil  of  society,  central  to  all  its 
problems  and  possibilities. 

Before  church  or  school  the  family  stands  potent 
for  character.    We  are  what  we  are,  not  by  the 


24     Religious  Education  m  the  Family 

ideals  held  before  us  for  thirty  minutes  a  week  or 
once  a  month  in  a  church,  nor  by  the  instructions 
given  in  the  classroom;  we  are  what  parents,  kin, 
and  all  the  circumstances  that  have  touched  us 
daily  and  hourly  for  >ears  have  determined  we 
should  be. 

The  sweetest  memories  of  our  lives  cluster  about 
the  scenes  of  family  Hfe.  The  rose-embowered 
cottage  of  the  poet  is  not  the  only  spot  that  claims 
affectionate  gratitude;  many  look  back  to  a  city 
house  wedged  into  its  monotonous  row.  But, 
wherever  it  might  be,  if  it  sheltered  love  and  held 
a  shrine  where  the  altar  fires  of  family  sacrifice 
burned,  earth  has  no  fairer  or  more  sacred 
spot.  The  people  rather  than  the  place  made  it 
potent. 

Stronger  even  than  the  memories  that  remain 
are  the  marks  of  habits,  tendencies,  tastes,  and 
dispositions  there  acquired.  Many  a  man  who 
has  left  no  fortune  worth  recording  to  his  sons  has 
left  them  something  better,  the  aptitude  for  things 
good  and  honorable,  the  memory  of  a  good  name, 
and  the  heritage  of  a  hfe  that  was  worthy  of  honor. 
The  personal  life  has  been  always  the  enduring 
thing.  Our  concern  for  the  future  should  be  not 
whether  we  can  pass  on  intact  the  forms  of  home 
organization,  but  whether  we  can  give  to  the  next 
day  the  force  of  ideal  family  hfe.  Perhaps  like 
Mary  we  would  do  well  to  turn  our  eyes  from  the 


Present  Status  of  Family  Life         25 

much  serving,  the  mechanisms  of  the  home,  to 
set  our  minds  on  the  better  part,  the  personal 
values  in  the  association  of  lives  in  the  family. 

I.    References  for  Study 

W.  F.  Lofthouse,  Ethics  and  the  Family,  chaps,  ii,  xi,  xii. 
Hodder  &  Stoughton,  $2 .  50. 

Charles  R.  Henderson,  Social  Duties  from  the  Christian 
Point  of  View,  chaps,  ii,  iii.  The  University  of 
Chicago    Press,   $1 .  25. 

C.  W.  Votaw,  Progress  of  Moral  and  Religious  Education  in 
the  American  Home.  Religious  Education  Associa- 
tion, $0.25. 

II.    Further  Reading 

Jacob  A.  Riis,  Peril  and  Preservation  of  the  Home.    Jacobs, 

Philadelphia,  Pa.,  $i.oo. 
Charles  R.  Henderson,  Social  Elements.     Scribner,  $1 .  50. 
Charles  F.  Thwing,  The  Recovery  of  the  Home.     American 

Baptist  Publication  Society,  $0.15. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  The  tendency  toward  commuliity  life  illustrated  in 
the  schools,  amusement  parks,  and  hotel  life.  Remember- 
ing the  ultimate  purpose  of  the  family,  how  far  is  communal 
life  desirable  ? 

2.  Does  the  apartment  or  tenement  building  furnish 
a  suitable  condition  for  the  higher  purposes  of  the 
family  ? 

3.  Is  it  possible  to  restore  to  the  home  some  of  the 
benefits  lost  by  present  factory  consolidation  of  industry  ? 

4.  What  can  take  the  place  of  the  old  household  arts  and 
of  those  which  are  now  passing? 


26      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

5.  What  steps  should  be  taken  to  secure  to  the  family  a 
larger  measure  of  the  time  in  terms  of  occupation  of  the 
parents  ? 

6.  What  are  the  important  things  to  contend  for  in  this 
institution  ?  Why  should  we  exi>ect  change  in  the  form  of 
the  home  and  what  are  the  features  which  should  not  be 
changed  ? 


CHAPTER  III 

THE  PERMANENT  ELEMENTS  IN  FAMILY  LIFE 

§  I.      THE   DOMINANT   MOTIVE 

The  chief  end  of  society  is  to  improve  the  race, 
to  develop  the  higher  and  steadily  improving  type 
of  human  beings.  We  can  test  the  life  of  the 
family  and  determine  the  values  of  its  elements 
by  asking  whether  and  in  what  degree  they  min- 
ister to  this  end,  the  growth  of  better  persons. 
This  is  more  than  a  theoretical  aim  or  one  con- 
ceived in  a  search  for  ideals.  It  is  written  plain 
in  our  passions  and  strongest  inclinations.  That 
which  parents  supremely  desire  for  their  children 
is  that  they  may  become  strong  in  body,  capable 
and  alert  in  mind,  and  animated  by  worthy  prin- 
ciples and  ideals.  The  parent  desires  a  good  man, 
fit  to  take  his  place,  do  his  work,  make  his  con- 
tribution to  the  social  well-being,  able  to  live  to 
the  fulness  of  his  powers,  to  take  Hfe  in  all  its 
reaches  of  meaning  and  heights  of  vision  and 
beauty.  In  true  parenthood  all  hopes  of  success, 
of  riches,  fame,  and  ease,  are  seen  but  as  avenues 
to  this  end,  as  means  of  making  the  finer  character, 
of  growing  the  ideal  person.  If  we  were  com- 
pelled to  choose  for  our  children  we  should  elect 
poverty,  pain,  disgrace,  toil,  and  suffering  if  we 

27 


28      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

knew  this  was  the  only  highway  to  full  manhood 
and  womanhood,  to  completeness  of  character. 
Indeed,  we  do  constantly  so  choose,  knowing  that 
they  must  endure  hardness,  bear  the  yoke  in  their 
youth,  and  learn  that 

Love  and  joy  are  torches  lit 
At  altar  fires  of  sacrifice. 

With  this  dominating  purpose  clearly  in  mind 
we  are  prepared  to  ask.  What  are  the  elements  of 
family  life  which  among  the  changes  of  today  we 
need  most  carefully  to  preserve  in  order  to  main- 
tain efficiency  in  character  development?  In 
days  when  the  outer  shell  of  domestic  arrange- 
ments changes,  when  readjustments  are  being  made 
in  the  organization  of  the  family,  what  is  there  too 
precious  to  lose,  so  worthy  and  essential  that  we 
waste  no  time  when  seeking  to  maintain  it  ? 

§  2.      POTENCIES     TO     BE     PRESERVED — SOCIAL 
QUALITIES 

The  first  great  element  to  be  preserved  in  all 
family  life  is  that  of  the  power  of  the  small  group 
for  purposes  of  character  development.  The 
infant's  earliest  world  is  the  mother's  arms.  In 
order  to  grow  into  a  man  fitted  for  the  wider  world 
of  social  living,  he  must  learn  to  live  in  a  world 
within  his  comprehension.  A  child's  life  moves 
through  the  widening  circles  of  mother-care, 
family  group,  neighborhood,   school,   city,   state, 


Permanent  Elements  in  Family  Life     29 

and  nation  into  world-living.  He  must  take  the 
first  steps  before  he  is  able  to  take  the  next  ones. 
He  must  learn  to  live  with  the  few  as  preparation 
for  Hving  with  the  many.  In  earhest  infancy  he 
takes  his  first  unconscious  lessons  in  the  fine  art 
of  living  with  other  folks  as  he  relates  himself  to 
parents  and  to  brothers  and  sisters. 

Secondly,  the  family  life  affords  the  best  agency 
for  social  training.  The  family  is  the  ideal  democ- 
racy into  which  the  child-life  is  born.  Here  habits 
are  formed,  ideals  are  pictured,  and  life  itself  is 
interpreted.  It  is  an  ideal  democracy,  first,  be- 
cause it  is  a  social  organization  existing  for  the 
sake  of  persons.  The  family  comes  nearer  to 
fulfilling  the  true  ideal  of  a  democratic  social  order 
than  does  any  other  institution.  It  is  founded  to 
bring  hves  into  this  world;  it  is  maintained  for  the 
sake  of  those  fives;  all  its  Hfe,  its  methods,  and 
standards  are  determined,  ideally,  by  the  needs 
of  persons.  It  is  an  ideal  democracy,  secondly, 
because  its  guiding  principle  is  that  the  greater 
lives  must  be  devoted  to  the  good  of  the  lesser,  the 
parent  for  the  Httle  child,  the  older  members  for 
the  younger,  in  an  attempt  to  extend  to  the  very 
least  the  greatest  good  enjoyed  by  all.  Thirdly, 
ideally  it  is  a  true  democracy  in  that  it  gives  to 
each  member  a  share  in  its  own  affairs  and  develops 
the  power  to  bear  responsibihties  and  to  carry 
each  his  own  load  in  life.     Thus  the  family  group 


30     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

is  the  best  possible  training  for  the  Kfe  and  work 
of  the  larger  group,  the  state,  and  for  world-Hving.'' 
The  maintenance  of  the  ideals  of  the  state,  as  a 
democracy,  depends  on  the  continuance  of  this 
institution  with  its  peculiar  power  to  train  life 
in  infancy  and  childhood  for  the  life  of  manhood 
in  the  state.  Such  training  can  be  given  only  in 
the  smaller  group  that  is  governed  by  the  motives 
peculiar  to  home  and  family  life.  The  power 
to  impress  these  principles  depends  on  the  size  of 
the  group.  The  small  social  organization,  the 
family  circle  of  from  three  members  to  even  a 
dozen,  bound  by  ties  of  affection,  is  the  one  great, 
efl5.cient  school,  training  youth  to  live  in  social 
terms. 

Thirdly,  the  family  sets  spiritual  values  first. 
Our  age  especially  needs  men  and  women  who 
think  in  terms  of  spiritual  values,  who  rise  above 
the  measures  of  pounds  and  dollars  and  weigh  Ufe 
by  personal  quahties  and  worth.  That  is  precisely 
what  the  home  does.  It  prizes  most  highly  the 
helpless,  economically  worthless  infant;  it  measures 
every  member  by  his  personal  character,  his 
affectional  worth.  Its  riches  do  not  depend  on 
that  which  money  can  buy,  but  on  the  personal 
qualities  of  love,  goodness,  kindness;  on  memories, 
associations,  affection.     The  true  home  gives  to 

'See  "Democracy  in  the  Home,"  American  Journal  of 
Sociology,  January,  1912. 


Perj\ianent  Elements  in  Family  Life    31 

every  child-life  the  power  to  choose  the  things  of 
the  world  on  the  basis  of  their  worth  in  person- 
ahty.  Only  the  mistaken  judgments  of  later 
years,  the  short-minded  wisdom  of  the  world, 
make  youth  gradually  lose  the  habit  of  preferring 
the  home's  spiritual  benefits  to  the  material  re- 
wards of  the  world  of  business.  No  Ufe  can  be 
furnished  for  the  strain  of  our  modern  materialism 
that  lacks  the  basis  of  idealism  furnished  in  the 
true  family. 

§  3.      potencies    to    be    preserved — THE 
MORAL   life 

Fourthly,  the  power  of  family  living  to  develop 
love  as  loyalty  is  to  be  noted.  In  this  small  group 
is  laid  the  foundation  of  the  moral  life.  "The 
family  is  the  primer  in  the  moral  education  of  the 
race."^  Here  the  new-born  Hfe  begins  to  relate 
itself  to  other  lives.  Here  it  begins  Ufe  in  an 
atmosphere  saturated  by  love,  the  central  prin- 
ciple of  all  virtue,  eventually  loyalty  to  ideals  in 
persons  and  devotion  to  them,  "the  greatest  of 
these/'  because  it  is  the  parent  of  all  virtue. 
The  moral  Hfe,  that  life  which  is  adjusted, 
capable,  and  adequately  motived  for  helpful,  effi- 
cient, enriching  living  with  all  other  lives,  is  not 
a  matter   of   rules,  regulations,   and  restrictions. 

'  Francis  G.  Peabody,  The  Approach  to  the  Social  Question, 
p.  94. 


32      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

Neither  is  it  a  matter  of  separate  habits  as  to 
this  or  the  other  kind  of  behavior,  though  this 
comes  nearer  to  it  than  do  rules  and  prescrip- 
tions. The  character-life  which  parents  desire 
for  their  children  is  not  that  which  will  do  the 
right  thing  when  it  has  discovered  that  right  thing 
in  some  book  of  rules,  nor  that  Hfe  which  will 
do  the  right  thing  because  society  points  that  way, 
nor  even  that  life  which  automatically  does  the 
right  thing,  but  it  is  the  life  which,  constantly 
moved  by  some  high  inner  compulsion,  some  imper- 
ative of  vision  and  ideal,  moves  to  the  highest 
possible  plane  of  action  in  every  situation.  This 
is  the  hfe  of  loyalty.  It  begins  with  loyalty  to 
persons,  with  that  devotion  which  begins  with 
affection.  In  no  other  place  is  this  so  well  devel- 
oped as  in  the  relations  of  the  family.  This  is  the 
child's  first  and  most  potential  school.  Here  the 
lessons  are  wholly  unconscious;  here  they  are 
strengthened  by  the  pleasurable  emotions.  It 
is  a  joy  to  be  loyal  to  those  we  love.  Indeed,  who 
can  tell  which  comes  first,  the  joy,  the  loyalty,  or 
the  love  ? 

The  power  of  this  small  social  group  of  the 
family  to  develop  the  fundamental  principle  of 
loyalty,  the  root  of  all  virtues,  gives  a  position  of 
great  importance  to  the  affections  in  the  family. 
We  do  well  to  contend  for  the  maintenance  of  con- 
ditions of  family  hving  which  will  strengthen  the 


Permanent  Elements  in  Family  Life     33 

ties  of  affection.  If  children  could  be  thrust  into 
the  care  of  the  state,  in  large  groups,  separated 
from  parental  care  and  oversight,  it  is  difficult  to 
see  what  emotional  stimulus  toward  affection 
would  remain.  The  personal  devotion  to  intimate 
adults  would  in  only  the  smallest  degree  compensate 
for  the  loss  of  father  and  mother.  We  know 
nothing  of  such  devotion  arising  to  any  large  degree 
in  orphan  asylums,  still  less  in  institutions  under 
the  cold  and  impersonal  care  of  the  state.  It  has 
been  urged  that  the  affections  of  parents  stand 
in  the  way  of  a  scientific  regimen  and  education 
for  small  children.  The  cold,  passionless,  auto- 
matic parent,  then,  would  be  the  ideal — a  Mr. 
Dombey  or  a  Mr.  Feverel.  Parents  make  many 
mistakes,  but  these  mistakes  are  not  due  to  too 
much  affection,  but  to  untrained  minds  and  unedu- 
cated affections.  It  were  better  to  save  the  values 
of  their  affections  and  on  them  to  build  a  wise 
discipline  for  childhood  by  providing  adequate 
training  of  parents  for  their  duties. 

Fifthly,  there  are  some  elements  of  the  cost  of 
family  life,  even  its  apparently  unnecessary  sacri- 
fice and  pain,  that  we  do  well  to  seek  to  keep. 
Character  grows  in  paying  the  high  price  of  main- 
taining a  family.  It  is  the  most  expensive  form 
of  living  for  adults.  Marriages  are  now  delayed 
because  of  the  fear  of  the  actual  monetary  cost; 
but  far  more  serious  is  the  cost  in  care,  in  nerves, 


34      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

in  patience,  in  all  the  great  elements  of  self-denial. 
No  child  ever  knows  what  he  has  cost  until  he  has 
children  of  his  own.  But  this  discipline  of  self- 
denial  is  that  which  saves  us  from  selfishness.  It 
is  necessary  to  have  some  personal  objects  for 
which  to  give  our  lives  if  they  are  to  be  saved 
from  centrifugation,  from  death  through  ingrowing 
affection.  True,  many  bachelors  and  spinsters 
have  learned  the  way  of  self-denying,  fellow-serving 
love.  But  how  can  a  true  parent  escape  that 
lesson?  Nor  does  it  stop  with  parents;  as  children 
grow  up  together  they,  too,  must  learn  mutual 
forbearance,  concihation,  and,  soon,  the  joy  of 
service.  One  sees  selfishness  in  the  little  child 
gradually  fading  in  the  practice  of  family  service, 
helpfulness,  consideration  for  others.  The  single 
child  in  a  family  misses  something  more  important 
than  playmates;  he  misses  all  the  education  of  play 
and  service.  But  who  cannot  remember  many 
famiUes  that  have  grown  to  beauty  of  character 
under  the  discipline  of  home  life,  and  especially 
when  this  has  involved  real  sacrifices  ?  The  stories 
in  the  Pepper  books  illustrate  the  spirit  that  blos- 
soms under  the  trials  and  hardships  of  the  struggle 
of  a  family  for  a  Hvelihood  and  for  the  maintenance 
of  a  home. 

A  clear  function  becomes  evident  for  this  social 
group  called  the  family.  It  is  that  of  dealing  with 
young  Uves,  in  groups  bound  by  ties  of  blood  and 


Permanent  Elements  in  Family  Life     35 

similarity,  for  purposes  of  the  development  of  per- 
sonal character.  The  family  has  an  essentially 
educational  function.  Bearing  in  mind  that  ''edu- 
cational" means  the  orderly  development  of  the 
powers  of  the  life,  we  can  think  of  our  families  as 
existing  for  this  purpose  and  to  be  tested  by  their 
abiHty  to  do  this  work,  especially  by  their  ability 
to  develop  persons,  young  lives,  that  have  the 
power,  the  vision,  the  acquired  habits  and  expe- 
rience to  hve  as  more  than  animals.  The  family 
is  an  educational  institution  dealing  with  child-life 
for  its  full  growth  and  its  self-realization,  especially 
on  character  levels.  The  educational  function 
suggests  the  features  of  family  Hfe  which  we 
do  well  to  seek  to  preserve.  Many  incidental 
forms  may  pass,  but  the  essential  human  relations 
and  experiences  that  go  to  develop  life  and  char- 
acter must  be  maintained  at  any  cost. 

I.    References  for  Study 

C.  F.  and  C.  B.  Thwing,  The  Family,  chap.  vii.    Lothrop, 

Lee  &  Shepard,  $1 .  60. 
W.  F.  Lofthouse,  Ethics  and  the  Family,  chaps,   iv,  v. 

Hodder  &  Stoughton,  $2.  50. 

II.    Further  Reading 

"The  Improvement  of  Religious  Education,"  Proceedings  of 
the  Religious  Education  Association,  I,  119-23.     $0.50. 

Religious  Education,  April,  191 1,  VI,  1-48. 

S.  P.  Breckinridge  and  E.  Abbott,  The  Delinquent  Child 
and  the  Home.     Russell  Sage  Foundation,  $2.00. 


36      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  is  the  chief  end  of  all  forms  of  social  organiza- 
tion? 

2.  What  is  in  the  last  analysis  the  aim  of  every^  parent  ? 

3.  What  advantage  has  the  family  over  the  school  and 
larger  groups  for  educational  purposes? 

4.  In  what  sense  is  the  family  an  ideal  democracy  ? 

5.  Show  how  the  family  sets  spiritual  values  first. 

6.  What  in  your  judgment  are  the  first  evidences  of 
character  development?  In  what  way  do  these  come  to 
the  surface  in  the  family?  What  is  the  factor  of  love  in 
the  development  of  character  ? 

7.  Is  that  an  ideal  family  in  which  none  of  the  members 
bear  pain  or  are  called  upon  for  self-denial  ?  Can  you  see 
any  especial  advantage  to  character  in  the  very  difficulties 
and  apparent  disadvantages  in  the  life  of  the  family  ? 


CHAPTER  IV 

THE  RELIGIOUS  PLACE  OF  THE  FAMILY 

§  I.      DEVELOPMENT    AS    A    RELIGIOUS    INSTITUTION 

The  family  is  the  most  important  religious  insti- 
tution in  the  life  of  today.  It  ranks  in  influence 
before  the  church.  It  has  always  held  this  place. 
Even  among  primitive  peoples,  where  family  life 
was  an  uncertain  quantity,  the  relations  of  parents, 
or  of  one  of  the  parents,  to  the  children  afiforded 
the  opportunity  most  frequently  used  for  their 
instruction  in  tribal  religious  ideals  and  customs. 
We  cannot  generalize  as  to  the  practices  of  savage 
man  in  regard  to  family  hfe,  for  those  practices 
range  from  common  promiscuous  relationships, 
without  apparent  care  for  offspring,  to  a  family 
unity  and  purity  approaching  the  best  we  know; 
but  this  much  is  certain,  that  there  was  a  common 
sense  of  responsibiHty  for  the  training  of  young 
children  in  moral  and  religious  ideas  and  customs, 
and  that,  in  the  degree  that  the  family  approached 
to  separateness  and  unity,  it  accepted  the  primary 
responsibility  for  this  task.  The  higher  the  type 
of  family  Hfe  the  more  fully  does  it  discharge  its 
function  in  the  education  of  the  child.^ 

'  For  a  brief  statement  see  Brinton,  Religions  of  Primitive 
Peoples,  Lecture  4,  §  7;  also  Todd,  The  Family  as  an  Educational 
Agency. 

37 


38      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

It  might  be  safe  to  say  that  among  primitive 
peoples  there  were  three  stages,  or  types,  of  rela- 
tionship based  on  the  breeding  of  children,  or  three 
stages  of  development  toward  family  life.  The 
first  is  a  loose  and  indefinite  relationship  existing 
principally  between  the  adults,  or  the  males  and 
females,  under  which  children  born  when  not 
desired  are  neglected  or  strangled  and,  when 
acceptable,  may  be  in  the  care  of  either  parent, 
or  of  neither.  Since  the  group,  associated  through 
infancy  with  at  least  one  parent,  is  as  yet  unde- 
veloped, any  instruction  will  be  individual  and 
usually  incidental. 

The  second  form  is  that  of  a  kind  of  family 
unity,  either  about  the  mother  or  the  father,  or 
both,  or  about  a  group  of  parents,  in  which  the 
children  live  together  and  are  sheltered  and  nur- 
tured for  their  earlier  years.  Here,  however,  the 
real  relationship  of  the  child  is  to  the  tribe,  the 
family  is  but  his  temporary  guardian,  and,  at 
least  by  the  age  of  puberty,  he  will  be  initiated 
into  the  tribal  secrets.  If  Jie  is  a  boy,  he  will  cease 
to  be  a  member  of  the  family  group  and  will  go  to 
live  in  the  "men's  house,"  becoming  a  part  of  the 
larger  life  of  the  tribe.'  Such  moral  and  religious 
instruction  as  he  may  acquire  will  come  from  the 
songs,  traditions,  and  conversation  which  he  hears 
as  a  child. 

'  See  Webster,  Primilive  Secret  Societies,  chaps,  i,  ii. 


Religious  Place  of  the  Family         39 

The  third  type  approaches  the  modern  ideal, 
with  a  greater  or  less  degree  of  permanent  unity 
between  the  two  parents  and  with  permanence  in 
the  group  of  the  offspring.  The  parental  responsi- 
biUty  continues  for  a  greater  length  of  time  and, 
since  the  tribe  makes  smaller  claims,  and  the  parents 
live  in  the  common  domestic  group,  much  more  in- 
struction is  possible  and  is  given.  The  tribal  ideals, 
the  traditions,  observances,  and  religious  rites  are 
imparted  to  children  gradually  in  their  homes. 

The  last  type  brings  us  to  the  Hebrew  conception 
of  family  life.  It  developed  toward  the  Christian 
ideal.  At  first,  polygamy  was  permitted;  woman 
was  the  chattel  of  man  and  excluded  from  any  part 
in  the  religious  rites.  But  it  included  the  ideal 
of  monogamy  in  its  tradition  of  the  origin  of  the 
world,  it  denounced  and  punished  adultery  (Deut. 
22:22),  and  it  gave  especial  attention  to  the  train- 
ing of  the  offspring.  "And  these  words,  which 
I  command  thee  this  day,  shall  be  in  thine  heart; 
and  thou  shalt  teach  them  diligently  unto  thy 
children,  and  shalt  talk  of  them  when  thou  sittest 
in  thy  house,  and  when  thou  walkest  by  the  way, 
and  when  thou  hest  down,  and  when  thou  risest 
up  ...  .  and  thou  shalt  write  them  upon  the 
door-posts  of  thy  house  and  upon  thy  gates" 
(Deut.  6:6,  7,  9). 

Much  later,  the  messianic  hope,  the  beUef  that 
in  some  Jewish  family  there  should  be  born  one 


40     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

divinely  commissioned  and  endowed  to  liberate 
Israel  and  to  give  the  Jews  world-sovereignty, 
operated  to  elevate  the  conception  of  motherhood 
and,  through  that,  of  the  family.  It  made  mar- 
riage desirable  and  children  a  blessing;  it  rendered 
motherhood  sacred.  It  tended  to  center  national 
hopes  and  reHgious  ideals  about  the  family,^ 

There  are  a  few  gUmpses  of  ideal  family  hfe  in 
the  Old  Testament.  They  are  all  summed  up  in 
the  eloquent  tribute  to  motherhood  in  the  words 
of  King  Lemuel  in  the  last  chapter  of  the  Book  of 
Proverbs.  It  must  be  remembered,  however,  that 
such  ideals  did  not  belong  to  the  Jews  alone,  that 
Plutarch  shows  many  pictures  of  maternal  fideUty 
and  wifely  devotion,  that  Greek  and  Roman  his- 
tory have  their  Cornelia,  Iphigenia,  and  Mallonia.^ 

The  Jews  are  an  excellent  example  of  the  power 
of  the  family  life  to  maintain  distinct  character- 
istics and  to  secure  marked  development.  Practi- 
cally throughout  all  the  Christian  era  they  have 
been  a  people  without  a  land,  a  constitution,  or  a 
government,  and  yet  never  without  race  con- 
sciousness, national  unity,  and  separateness.  Their 
unity  has  continued  in  spite  of  dispersion,  perse- 
cution, and  losses;    they  have  remained  a  race  in 

'  On  the  place  of  the  family  in  different  religious  systems  see 
the  fine  article  under  "Family"  in  Hastings,  Encyclopaedia 
of  Religion  and  Ethics. 

'  See  Lecky,  History  of  European  Morals,  chap.  ii. 


Religious  Place  of  the  Family         41 

the  face  of  political  storms  that  have  swept  other 
peoples  away.  Their  unity  has  continued  about 
two  great  centers,  the  customs  of  religion  and  the 
Hfe  of  the  family. 

The  results  of  Jewish  respect  for  family  life  can  also  be 
seen  in  the  health  of  their  own  children.  In  1910,  for 
instance,  among  poor  Jews  in  Manchester  the  mortality  of 
infants  under  one  year  of  age  was  found  to  be  118  per  thou- 
sand; among  poor  Gentiles,  300  per  thousand;  and  com- 
parisons made  some  six  years  ago  between  Jewish  and 
gentile  children  in  schools  in  the  poorer  parts  of  Manchester 
and  Leeds  (England)  have  shown  that  the  Jewish  children 
are  uniformly  taller,  they  weigh  more,  and  their  bones  and 
teeth  are  superior.' 

§  2.      THE   CHRISTIAN   FAMILY 

The  Christian  family  is  a  type  pecuHar  to  itself, 
not  as  a  new  institution,  for  it  has  developed  out 
of  earlier  race  experience,  but  as  controlled  by  a 
new  interpretation,  the  spirit  and  conception  of 
the  home  and  family  given  in  the  teaching  of  Jesus 
of  Nazareth.  He  did  not  give  formal  rules  for 
the  regulation  of  homes ;  rather  he  made  a  spiritual 
ideal  of  family  life  the  basic  thought  of  all  his 
teaching.  He  said  more  about  the  family  than 
concerning  any  other  human  institution,  yet  he 
established  no  family  life  of  his  own.  He  is  called 
the  founder  of  the  church,  yet  he  scarcely  mentions 

'  Quoted  by  Lofthouse  in  Ethics  and  the  Family,  p.  8,  from 
W.  Hall,  in  Progress  (London),  April,  1907. 


42      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

that  institution,  while  he  frequently  teaches  con- 
cerning home  duties  and  family  relations.  He 
glorifies  the  relations  of  the  family  by  making 
them  the  figure  by  which  men  may  understand 
the  highest  relations  of  hfe.  He  speaks  more  of 
fatherhood  and  sonship  than  of  any  other  relations. 
He  gives  direction  for  living,  using  the  family  terms 
of  brotherhood.  He  points  forward  to  ideal  hving 
in  a  home  beyond  this  life.  He  teaches  men  when 
they  think  of  God  and  when  they  address  him  to 
take  the  family  attitude  and  call  him  Father. 

If  we  sum  up  all  the  teachings  of  Jesus  and 
separate  them  from  our  preconceptions  of  their 
theological  content,  we  cannot  but  be  impressed 
with  the  facts  that  he  seized  upon  the  family  Hfe 
as  the  best  expression  of  the  highest  relationships; 
that  he  pointed  to  a  purified  family  hfe,  in  which 
spiritual  aims  would  dominate,  as  the  best  expres- 
sion of  ideal  relationships  among  his  followers; 
and  that  he  glorified  marriage  and  really  made  the 
family  the  great,  divine,  sacramental  institution  of 
human  society. 

We  can  hardly  overestimate  the  importance  of 
such  teaching  to  the  character  of  the  family.  The 
early  Christians  not  only  accepted  Jesus  as  their 
teacher  and  savior;  they  took  their  family  life  as 
the  opportunity  to  show  what  the  Kingdom  of 
God,  the  ideal  society,  was  like.  Family  life  was 
consecrated.     Men   and  women  belonged  to  the 


Religious  Place  of  the  Family         43 

new  order  with  their  whole  households.  Religion 
became  largely  a  family  matter.  The  worship 
that  had  been  confined  to  the  temple  now  made 
an  altar  in  every  home  and  a  holy  of  holies  in  the 
midst  of  every  family.  The  scriptures  that  be- 
longed to  the  synagogue  now  belonged  in  the  home. 
Above  all,  this  family  existed  for  the  purposes 
taught  by  Jesus,  that  men  might  grow  in  brother- 
hood toward  the  likeness  of  the  divine  Father- 
hood. It  was  an  institution,  not  for  economic 
purpose  of  food  and  shelter,  not  for  personal  ends 
of  passion  or  pride,  but  for  spiritual  purpose,  for 
the  growth  of  persons,  especially  the  young  in  the 
home,  in  character,  into  "the  measure  of  the 
stature  of  the  fulness  of  Christ." 

Christianity  is  essentially  a  religion  of  ideal 
family  life.  It  conceives  of  human  society,  not  in 
terms  of  a  monarchy  with  a  king  and  subjects, 
but  in  terms  of  a  family  with  a  great  all-Father 
and  his  children,  who  live  in  brotherhood,  who 
take  life  as  their  opportunity  for  those  family  joys 
of  service  and  sacrifice.  It  hopes  to  solve  the 
world's  ills,  not  by  external  regulations,  but  by 
bringing  all  men  into  a  new  family  life,  a  birth 
into  this  new  family  Hfe  with  God,  so  securing 
a  new  personal  environment,  a  new  personality 
as  the  center  and  root  of  all  social  betterment.  He 
who  would  come  into  this  new  social  order  must 
come  into  the  divine  family,  must  humble  himself 


44      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

and  become  as  a  little  child,  must  know  his  Father 
and  love  his  brothers. 

Christianity,  then,  not  only  seeks  an  ideal 
family;  it  makes  the  family  the  ideal  social  insti- 
tution and  order.  It  makes  family  life  holy, 
sacramental,  religious  in  its  very  nature.  This 
fact  gives  added  importance  to  the  preservation 
and  development  of  the  ideals  of  family  life  for 
the  sake  of  their  rehgious  significance  and  influence. 
It  not  only  makes  religion  a  part  of  the  life  of  the 
home  but  makes  a  rehgious  purpose  the  very 
reason  for  the  existence  of  the  Christian  type  of 
home.  It  makes  our  homes  essentially  rehgious 
institutions,  to  be  judged  by  religious  products. 

I.    References  for  Study 

G.  A.  Coe,  Education  in  Religion  and  Morals,  chap.  xvi. 

Revell,  $1.35. 
Article  on  "The  Family,"  in  Hastings,  Encyclopaedia  of 

Religion  and  Ethics. 

II.    Further  Reading 

On  the  educational  function  of  the  family:  A.  J.  Todd,  The 
Primitive  Family  as  an  Educational  Agency.  Putnam, 
$2.00. 

On  the  religious  place  of  the  family:  C.  F.  and  C.  B.  Thwing, 
The  Family.     Lothrop,  Lee  &  Shepard,  $1.60. 

I.  J.  Peritz,  "BibUcal  Ideal  of  the  Home,"  Religious  Educa- 
tion, VI,  322. 

H.  Hanson,  The  Function  of  the  Family.  American  Baptist 
Publication  Society,  $0.15. 


Religious  Place  of  the  Family         45 

W.  Becker,  Christian  Education,  or  the  Duties  of  Parents. 
Herder,  $1.00.  A  striking  presentation  of  the  Roman 
Catholic  view;  could  be  read  to  advantage  by  all 
parents. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  place  did  religion  hold  in  the  primitive  famUy? 
What  reference  or  allusion  do  we  find  in  the  Old  Testament 
to  the  place  of  religion  in  the  family  (Deut.  6:7-9,  20-25)  ? 
What  in  the  New  Testament  ? 

2.  What  has  been  the  effect  of  purity  of  family  life  on  the 
Jewish  race  ? 

3.  What  place  did  the  family  hold  in  the  teachings  of 
Jesus  ? 

4.  What  shall  we  think  of  the  relations  of  the  church 
and  family  as  to  their  comparative  rights  and  our  duty  to 
them? 

5.  Do  you  agree  that  the  family  is  the  most  important 
religious  institution  ? 


CHAPTER  V 

THE  MEANING  OF  RELIGIOUS  EDUCATION  IN 
THE  FAMILY 

§  I.      THE  FUNCTION   OF   THE   FAMILY 

With  the  brief  statement  of  the  history  of  the 
family  and  of  its  function  in  society  which  has 
already  been  given  we  are  prepared  to  put  together 
the  two  conclusions:  first,  that  the  family  has  an 
educational  function,  in  that  it  exists  as  a  social 
institution  for  the  protection,  nurture,  develop- 
ment, and  training  of  young  lives,  and,  secondly, 
that  it  is  a  religious  institution,  the  most  influ- 
ential and  important  of  all  religious  institutions, 
whenever  it  realizes  in  any  adequate  degree  its 
possibilities,  because  it  is  rooted  in  love  and  loyalty. 
It  exists  for  personal  and  spiritual  ideals  and,  in 
Christianity,  it  is  inseparably  connected  with  the 
teachings  and  the  ideals  of  Jesus.  It  is  educational 
in  function  and  religious  in  character,  so  that  it  is 
essentially  an  institution  for  religious  education. 
Religious  education  is  not  an  occasional  incident 
in  its  hfe;  it  is  the  very  aim  and  dominating  pur- 
pose of  a  high-minded  family. 

§2.      WHAT   IS    RELIGIOUS   EDUCATION? 

To  make  this  the  more  clear  we  may  need  to 
clarify  our  minds  as  to  certain  popular  conceptions 

46 


Meaning  of  Religious  Education        47 

of  education.  Education  means  much  more  than 
instruction;  religious  education  means  much  more 
than  instruction  in  religion.  Many  habitually 
think  of  an  educational  institution  as  necessarily 
a  place  where  pupils  sit  at  desks  and  teachers  pre- 
side over  classes,  the  teachers  imparting  information 
which  is  to  be  memorized  by  the  pupils,  so  that, 
from  this  point  of  view,  a  Sunday  school  would  be 
almost  the  only  institution  for  the  religious  edu- 
cation of  children  in  existence,  because  it  is  the 
only  one  exclusively  devoted  to  imparting  instruc- 
tion to  children  in  specifically  rehgious  subjects. 
Such  a  view  would  limit  religious  education  in  the 
home  to  the  formal  teaching  of  the  Bible  and 
religious  dogma  by  parents.  The  memorizing 
of  scriptural  passages  and  of  the  different  cate- 
chisms once  constituted  a  regular  duty  in  almost 
all  well-ordered  homes.  Today  it  is  rarely  at- 
tempted. Does  that  mean  that  religious  education 
has  ceased  in  the  home  ? 

But  education  means  much  more  than  instruc- 
tion. Education  is  the  whole  process,  of  which 
instruction  is  only  a  part.  Education  is  the  orderly 
development  of  lives,  according  to  scientific  prin- 
ciples, into  the  fulness  of  their  powers,  the  real- 
ization of  all  their  possibilities,  the  joy  of  their 
world,  the  utmost  rendering  in  efficiency  of  their 
service.  It  includes  the  training  of  powers  of 
thought,  feeUng,  willing,  and  doing;    it  includes 


48      Relkjious  Education  in  the  Family 

the  development  of  abilities  to  discern,  discrimi- 
nate, choose,  determine,  feel,  and  do.  It  prepares 
the  life  for  hving  with  other  lives;  it  prepares  the 
whole  of  the  life,  developing  the  higher  nature,  the 
life  of  the  spirit,  for  Hving  in  a  spiritual  universe. 

Religious  education,  then,  means  much  more 
than  instruction  in  the  literature,  history,  and  phi- 
losophy of  rehgion.  It  means  the  kind  of  directed 
development  which  regards  the  one  who  is  devel- 
oping as  a  rehgious  person,  which  seeks  to  develop 
that  one  to  fulness  of  religious  powers  and  person- 
ality, and  which  uses,  as  means  to  that  end, 
material  of  rehgious  inspiration  and  significance 
and,  indeed,  regards  all  material  in  that  light. 
Rehgious  education  seeks  to  direct  a  religious 
process  of  growth  with  a  religious  purpose  for 
rehgious  persons.  Religious  education  is  the 
spirit  which  characterizes  the  work  of  every  edu- 
cator who  looks  on  the  child  as  a  spiritual  nature, 
a  religious  person;  it  is  the  work  of  every  educator 
who  sees  his  aim  as  that  of  training  this  spiritual 
person  to  fulness  of  hving  in  a  society  essentially 
spiritual. 

In  simplest  possible  terms,  religious  education 
means  the  training  of  persons  to  hve  the  rehgious 
hfe  and  to  do  their  work  in  the  world  as  religious 
persons.  It  must  mean,  then,  the  development 
of  character;  it  includes  the  aim,  in  the  parents' 
minds,  to  bring  their  children  up  to  the  measure 


Meaning  of  Religious  Education       49 

of  the  stature  of  the  fulness  of  Christ.  It  is  evi- 
dent that  this  is  a  much  greater  task,  and  yet 
more  natural  and  beautiful,  than  mere  instruction 
in  formal  ideas  or  words  in  the  Bible  or  in  a 
catechism;  that  it  is  not  and  cannot  be  accom- 
plished in  some  single  period,  some  set  hour, 
but  is  continuous,  through  all  the  days;  that  it 
pervades  not  only  the  spoken  words,  but  the 
actions,  organization,  and  the  very  atmosphere  of 
the  home. 

§  3.      THE   educational   PROCESS 

Normal  persons  never  stop  growing.  Just  as 
children  grow  all  the  time  in  their  bodies,  so  do 
adults  and  all  others  grow  all  the  time  in  mind  and 
will  and  powers  of  the  higher  life  whenever  they 
live  normally.  We  grow  spiritually,  not  only  in 
church  and  under  the  stimulus  of  song  and  prayer, 
but  we  grow  when  the  beauty  of  the  woods  appeals 
to  us,  when  the  face  lightens  at  the  face  of  a 
friend,  when  we  meet  and  master  a  temptation, 
when  we  brace  up  under  a  load,  when  we  do  faith- 
fully the  dreary,  daily  task,  when  we  adjust  our 
thoughts  in  sympathy  to  others,  when  we  move 
in  the  crowd,  when  we  think  by  ourselves.  The 
educational  process  is  continuous.  The  children 
in  the  home  are  being  moved,  stimulated,  every 
instant,  and  they  are  being  changed  in  minute  but 
nevertheless  real  and  important  degrees  by  each 


50      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

impression.  There  is  never  a  moment  in  which 
their  character  is  not  being  developed  either  for 
good  or  for  ill.  Religious  education — that  is,  the 
development  of  their  lives  as  religious  persons — 
goes  on  all  the  time  in  the  home,  and  it  is  either 
for  good  or  for  ill. 

Next  to  the  idea  of  the  continuous  and  all- 
pervasive  character  of  this  process  of  religious 
development  the  most  important  thought  for  us 
is  that  religious  education  in  the  home  may  be 
determined  by  ourselves.  This  continuous,  fate- 
ful process  is  not  a  blind,  resistless  one.  It  is  our 
duty  to  direct  it.  It  is  possible  for  wise  parents 
to  determine  the  characters  of  their  children. 
We  must  not  forget  this.  It  cannot  be  too  strongly 
insisted  on.  The  development  of  life  is  under 
law.  This  is  an  orderly  world.  Things  do  not 
just  happen  in  it.  We  believe  in  a  law  that 
determines  the  type  of  a  cabbage,  the  character 
of  a  weed.  Do  we  believe  that  this  universe  is 
so  ordered  that  there  is  a  law  for  weeds  and  none 
for  the  higher  life  of  man?  Do  we  hold  that 
cabbages  grow  by  law  but  character  comes  by 
chance?  If  there  is  a  law  we  may  find  it  and 
must  obey  it.  If  we  may  know  how  to  develop 
character,  with  as  great  certainty  as  we  know 
how  to  do  our  daily  work,  will  not  this  be  our 
highest  task,  our  greatest  joy,  the  supreme  thing 
to  do  in  life? 


Meaning  of  Religious  Education        51 

§  4.      THE   consequent   OBLIGATION 

This  is  the  first  great  obligation  of  parents  and 
of  those  who  are  willing  to  accept  the  joys  and 
responsibilities  of  parenthood.  We  have  no  right 
to  bring  into  this  world  Hves  with  all  the  possi- 
bilities that  a  religious  nature  involves  unless  we 
know  how  to  develop  those  lives  for  the  best  and 
from  the  worst.  When  we  picture  what  a  little 
child  may  become,  from  the  vile,  depraved,  despoil- 
ing beast  or  the  despicable,  sneaking  hypocrite  on 
one  extreme,  to  the  upright,  God-loving,  man- 
serving  man  or  woman  with  the  love  of  purity, 
honor,  truth,  and  goodness  speaking  through  the 
life,  we  may  well  pause,  realizing  we  need  more 
than  a  sentimental  desire  that  the  child  may  reach 
the  heights  of  goodness:  we  must  know  the  way 
there  and  the  methods  of  leading  the  life  in  that 
way.  True  devotion  to  God  and  to  childhood  will 
mean  more  than  petitions  for  the  salvation  of 
children;  it  will  mean  the  prayer  that  is  labor 
and  the  labor  that  is  prayer  to  know  how  they 
may  attain  fulness  of  spiritual  life;  it  will  mean 
reverent  searching  into  the  divine  ways  of  growth 
in  grace.  The  study  of  the  means  and  methods 
of  religious  education,  especially  of  children,  in 
the  home  and  family,  is  one  of  the  most  evident 
and  important  religious  duties  resting  on  parents 
and  all  who  contemplate  marriage  and  family 
Hfe. 


52      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

§  5.    what  is  meant  by  the  religious  develop- 
ment of  the  child  ? 

In  discussing  the  development  of  character  in 
children  one  hears  often  the  question,  "Which  is 
the  earhest  virtue  to  appear  in  a  child?"  People 
will  debate  whether  it  is  truthfulness,  reverence, 
kindness,  or  some  other  virtue.  All  this  implies 
a  picture  of  the  child  as  a  tree  that  sends  forth 
shoots  of  separate  virtues  one  after  another.  But 
the  character  desired  is  not  a  series  of  branches, 
it  is  rather  like  a  sjrmmetrical  tree ;  it  is  not  certain 
parts,  but  it  is  the  whole  of  a  personality.  The 
development  of  religious  character  is  not  a  matter 
of  consciously  separable  virtues,  but  is  the  deter- 
mination of  the  trend  and  quality  of  the  whole  Ufe. 
Moral  training  is  not  a  matter  of  cultivating 
honesty  today,  purity  tomorrow,  and  kindness 
the  day  after.  Virtues  have  no  separate  value. 
Character  cannot  be  disintegrated  into  a  list  of 
independent  qualities.  We  seek  a  life  that,  as  a 
whole  life,  loves  and  follows  truth,  goodness,  and 
service. 

§  6.      EARLY   TENDENCIES 

But  it  is  wise  to  inquire  as  to  those  manifesta- 
tions of  a  pure  and  spiritual  life  which  will  earliest 
appear.  One  does  not  need  to  look  far  for  the 
answer.  Children  are  always  affectionate;  they 
manifest    the    possibiHties    of    love.     True,    this 


Meaning  of  Religious  Education        53 

afifection  is  rooted  in  physiological  experience, 
based  on  relations  to  the  mother  and  on  daily  pro- 
pinquity to  the  rest  of  the  family,  but  it  is  that 
which  may  be  colored  by  devotion,  elevated  by 
unselfish  service,  and  may  become  the  first  great, 
ideal  loyalty  of  the  child's  life.  Little  boys  will 
fight  and  girls  will  quarrel  more  readily  over  the 
question  of  the  merits  of  their  respective  parents 
than  over  any  other  issue.  Almost  as  soon  as  a 
child  can  talk  he  boasts  of  the  valor  of  his  father, 
the  beauty  of  his  mother.  Here  is  loyalty  at  work. 
He  stands  for  them;  he  resents  the  least  doubt  as 
to  their  superiority,  not  because  they  give  him 
food  and  shelter,  but  because  they  are  his,  because 
to  him  they  are  worthy;  in  all  things  they  have 
the  worth,  the  highest  good;  they  are,  in  person, 
the  virtue  of  Hfe.  Therefore  in  fighting  for  the 
reputation  of  his  parents  he  is  practicing  loyalty 
to  an  ideal. 

The  principle  of  loyalty  is  the  life-force  of 
virtue;  it  is  like  the  power  that  sends  the  tree 
toward  the  heavens,  the  upthrust  of  life.  It  may 
be  cultivated  in  a  thousand  ways.  Provided  there 
is  the  outreach  and  upreach  of  loyalty  within  and 
that  there  is  furnished  without  the  worthy  object, 
ideal,  and  aim,  the  hfe  will  grow  upward  and 
increase  in  character,  beauty,  and  strength. 

Next  to  the  affectionate  idealization  of  parents 
and  home-folk  one  of  the  earhest  manifestations 


54      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

of  the  spirit  of  loyalty  in  the  child  is  his  desire  to 
have  a  share  in  the  activities  of  the  home.  He 
would  not  only  look  Kke  those  he  admires;  he 
would  do  what  they  do.  This  is  more  than  mere 
imitation;  it  is  loyalty  at  work  again.  The 
direction  of  this  tendency  is  one  of  the  largest 
opportunities  before  parents  and  can  make  the 
most  important  contribution  to  character. 

The  religious  Hfe  of  the  child  is  essentially  a 
matter  of  loyalty.  His  faith,  affections,  aspira- 
tions, and  endeavors  turn  toward  persons,  insti- 
tutions, and  concepts  which  are  to  him  ideal.  He 
does  not  analyze,  he  cannot  describe,  or  even  nar- 
rate, his  religious  experiences,  but  he  affectionately 
moves,  with  a  sense  of  pleasure,  toward  those 
things  which  seem  to  him  ideal,  toward  parents, 
customs  of  the  home  or  school,  the  church,  his 
class,  his  teacher,  toward  characters  in  story- 
books. He  is  Hkely  to  think  of  Jesus  in  just  that 
way,  as  the  one  person  whom  he  would  most  of 
all  like  to  know  and  be  with.  The  hfe  of  virtue 
and  the  rehgious  life  then  will  be  weak  or  strong 
in  the  measure  that  the  child  has  the  stimulating 
ideals  which  call  forth  his  loyalty  and  in  the  meas- 
ure that  he  has  opportunity  to  express  that  loyalty. 
His  religious  life  will  consist,  not  so  much  in 
external  forms  perhaps,  still  less  in  intellectual 
statements  about  theology  or  even  about  his  own 
experiences,  as  in  a  growing  realization  of  the  great 


Meaning  of  Religious  Education        55 

ideals,  an  increasing  sense  of  their  meaning  and 
reality  within,  and,  on  the  objective  side,  a  steady 
moving  of  his  life  toward  them  in  action  and 
habits  and  therefore  in  character  and  quality. 

§  7.    important  considerations 

It  is  worth  while  to  insist  upon  two  important 
considerations.  Parents  who  stand  as  gardeners 
watching  the  growth  of  the  tender  plant  of  child- 
character  may  be  looking  for  developments  that 
never  ought  to  come  and  will  be  disappointed 
because  they  were  looking  for  the  wrong  thing. 
First,  in  watching  for  the  beginnings  of  the  reh- 
gious  life  of  the  child  in  the  family  we  are  not  ex- 
pecting some  new  addition  to  the  life,  but  rather 
the  development  of  this  whole  life  as  a  unity  in 
a  definite  direction  which  we  call  rehgious.  It  is 
the  first  and  most  important  consideration  that 
religious  education  is  not  something  added  to  the 
hfe  as  an  extra  subject  of  interest,  but  the  develop- 
ment of  the  whole  Hfe  into  religious  character  and 
usefulness.  Secondly,  this  growth  of  religious 
character  is  going  on  all  the  time.  It  is  not  sepa- 
rable into  pious  periods;  it  is  a  part  of  the  very 
life  of  the  family.  Perhaps  this  increases  the  diffi- 
culty of  our  task,  for  it  removes  it  from  the  realm 
of  the  mechanical,  from  that  which  is  easily  appre- 
hended and  estimated.  It  takes  the  task  of  the 
religious  education  of  children  out  of  the  statistical 


56      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

into  the  vital,  and  reminds  us  that  we  are  growing 
life  every  second,  that  there  is  never  a  moment 
when  religious  education  is  not  in  operation.  This 
demands  a  consideration,  not  alone  of  lessons,  of 
periods  of  worship  and  instruction,  but  of  every 
influence,  activity,  and  agency  in  all  the  family 
life  that  in  any  way  affects  the  thinking,  feeling, 
and  action  of  the  child.  We  are  thinking  of  some- 
thing more  important  than  organizing  instruction 
and  exercises  in  rehgion  in  the  home;  we  are  think- 
ing of  organizing  the  family  life  for  rehgious  pur- 
poses, for  the  purpose  of  growing  lives  into  their 
spiritual  fulness. 

Perhaps  the  capital  mistake  in  the  rehgious 
education  of  the  family  is  that  we  overemphasize 
this  or  the  other  method  and  mechanism  instead 
of  bending  every  effort  to  secure  a  real  religious 
atmosphere  and  soil  in  which  young  souls  can 
really  grow  while  we  leave  the  process  of  growth 
more  largely  to  the  great  husbandman.  And  the 
second  great  mistake  is  that  we  are  looking  for 
mechanical  evidence  of  a  religious  hfe  instead  of 
for  the  development  of  a  whole  person.  We  must 
reinterpret  the  family  to  ourselves  and  see  it  as  the 
one  great  opportunity  Hfe  affords  us  to  grow  other 
Uves  and  to  bring  them  to  spiritual  fulness  by  pro- 
viding a  social  atmosphere  of  the  spirit  and  a  con- 
stant, normal  presentation  of  social  living  in 
spiritual  terms. 


Meaning  of  Religious  Education        57 

§  8.      THE    organization   OF   LOYALTY 

When  parents  conceive  the  family  in  these 
terms  and  so  organize  the  life  of  the  home,  the 
child  becomes  conscious  of  the  fact,  and  at  once 
the  Hfe  of  the  family  furnishes  him  with  his  first, 
his  nearest,  and  most  satisfactory  appeal  to  loyalty. 
He  feels  that  which  he  cannot  analyze  or  express, 
the  spiritual  beauty  and  loyalty  of  family  life. 
That  Kfe  furnishes  a  soil  and  atmosphere  for  his 
soul.  It  is  an  atmosphere  made  of  many  elements : 
the  primary  and  dominating  purpose  of  parents 
and  older  persons,  the  habitual  life  of  service  and 
love,  the  consciousness  of  the  reahty  of  the  Divine 
Presence,  the  fragrance  of  chastened  character  and 
experience,  the  customs  of  worship  and  affections. 
These  things  are  not  easily  created,  they  cannot 
be  readily  defined,  nor  can  directions  be  given  in 
a  facile  manner  for  their  cultivation.  They  are 
the  elements  most  difficult  to  describe,  hardest  of 
all  to  secure  when  lacking,  least  easily  labeled,  not 
to  be  purchased  ready-made,  and  yet  without 
them  religious  education  is  wholly  impossible  in 
the  family.  Without  this  immediate  appeal  to 
loyalty  the  loyalties  of  the  child  toward  higher 
and  divine  aims  do  not  develop  early;  they  are 
retarded  and  often  remain  dormant.  For  us  all 
scarcely  any  more  important  question  can  be  pre- 
sented than  this:  What  appeals  to  spiritual  ideal- 
ism and  loyalty  does  our  family  life  present  to  the 


58      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

child  ?  What  quickening  of  love  for  goodness  and 
purity,  truth  and  service,  is  there  in  the  home  and 
its  conduct  ? 

I.    References  for  Study 

G.  A.  Coe,  Education  in  Religion  and  Morals,  chaps,  i,  ii,  xii, 

xiii.    Revell,  $1.35. 
George  Hodges,  Training  of  Children  in  Religion,  chaps,  i, 

ii.    Appleton,  $1.  50. 
J.  T.  McFarland,  Preservation  versus  Resurrection.    Eaton 

&  Mains,  $0.07. 

II.    Further  Reading 

C.  W.  Votaw,  Progress  of  Moral  and  Religious  Education 
in  the  American  Home.  Religious  Education  Associa- 
tion, $0.25. 

George  Hodges,  Training  of  Children,  chaps,  i,  ii,  xv. 
Appleton,  $1.  50. 

G.  A.  Coe,  Education  in  Religion  and  Morals,  chaps,  i,  iv, 
xvi.    Revell,  $1.35. 

E.  C.  Wilm,  Culture  of  Religion,  chaps,  i,  ii.  PUgrim 
Press,  $0.75. 

C.  W.  RischeU,  The  Child  as  God's  Child.  Methodist  Book 
Concern,  $0.  75. 

E.  E.  Read  Mumford,  The  Dawn  of  Character.  Longmans, 
Green  &  Co.,  $1.  20.  See  especially  chap,  xii  on  "The 
Dawn  of  Religion." 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  How  would  you  define  education  ? 

2.  What  is  the  difference  between  education  and  reli- 
gious education  ? 

3.  What  makes  the  home  especially  effective  in  educa- 
tion? 


Meaning  or  Religious  Education        59 

4.  Is  it  true  that  it  is  possible  to  discover  the  laws  of 
growth  and  so  determine  the  development  of  character  ? 

5.  Recall  any  very  early  manifestations  of  religious 
character  in  small  children.  What  would  you  regard  as  the 
best  kind  of  manifestation  ? 

6.  What  is  the  essential  principle  of  the  right  life? 
How  may  we  develop  this  in  childhood? 

7.  What  are  the  things  which  most  of  all  impress  chil- 
dren? 

8.  Would  you  think  it  wise  to  bring  a  child  under  the 
influence  of  a  religious  revival  ? 


CHAPTER  VI 
THE  CHILD'S  RELIGIOUS  IDEAS 

How  shall  I  begin  to  talk  with  my  child  about 
religion?  Even  the  most  religious  parents  feel 
hesitancy  here.  It  may  not  be  at  all  due  to  the 
unfamiharity  of  the  subject,  though  that  is  often 
the  case;  hesitation  is  due  principally  to  a  con- 
scious artificiality  in  the  action.  It  seems  un- 
natural to  say,  "My  child,  I  want  to  talk  with 
you  about  your  religious  Hfe."  And  so  it  is. 
There  is  something  wrong  when  that  appears  to 
be  the  only  way.  That  situation  indicates  a  lack 
of  freedom  of  thought  and  intercourse  with  the 
child  and  a  lack  of  naturalness  in  religion. 

§  I.      THE   FUNDAMENTAL  DIFFICULTY 

The  instinct  is  correct  that  tells  us  that  we  should 
be  trespassing  on  a  child's  rights,  or  breaking  down 
his  proper  reticence,  in  abruptly  and  formally 
questioning  him  about  his  religious  life.  The 
reserve  of  children  in  this  matter  must  be  respected. 
The  inner  life  of  aspiration,  of  conscious  relation- 
ship to  the  divine,  is  too  sacred  for  display,  even 
to  those  who  are  near  to  us.  He  violates  the  child's 
reverence  who  tears  away  his  reticence.  Even 
though  the  child  may  not  consciously  object,  the 

60 


The  Child's  Religious  Ideas  6i 

process  leads  him  toward  the  irreverent,  facile 
self-exposure  of  the  soul  that  characterizes  some 
prayer  meetings.  But  we  may,  also,  as  easily 
err  in  the  other  direction  and,  by  failing  to  invite 
the  confidences  of  our  children,  lead  them  to  sup- 
pose we  have  no  interest  in  their  higher  Hfe. 

§  2.    conditions  of  success 

First,  we  must  be  content  to  wait  for  the  child 
to  open  his  heart.  We  must  not  force  the  door. 
But  we  can  invite  him  to  open,  and  the  one  form 
of  invitation  that  scarcely  ever  fails  is  for  you  to 
give  him  your  confidence.  Talk  honestly,  simply 
to  him  of  the  aspects  of  your  rehgious  life  that  he 
can  understand.  If  he  knows  that  you  confide  in 
him,  he  will  confide  in  you.  Here  beware  of  senti- 
mentality. ReKgion  to  the  child  will  find  expres- 
sion in  everyday  experiences.  Your  philosophy 
of  religion  he  cannot  comprehend,  and  with  your 
mature  emotions  he  has  no  point  of  contact.  Per- 
haps the  best  method  of  approach  is  to  relate  your 
memories  of  those  experiences  which  you  now  see 
to  have  had  religious  significance  to  you.  At  the 
time  they  may  have  had  no  such  special  meaning. 
You  did  not  then  analyze  them.  Your  child  will 
not  and  must  not  analyze  them,  either;  he  must 
simply  feel  them. 

Secondly,  rid  your  mind  of  the  "times  and 
seasons"  notion.     There  is  no  more  reason  why 


62      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

you  should  talk  religion  on  Sunday  than  on  Mon- 
day, unless  the  day's  interests  have  quickened 
the  child's  questioning.  There  can  be  no  set 
period;  no  times  when  you  say,  "This  is  the  forty- 
five  minutes  of  spiritual  instruction  and  conversa- 
tion." The  time  available  may  be  very  short, 
only  a  sentence  may  be  possible,  or  it  may  be 
lengthened;  everything  will  depend  on  the  interest. 
It  must  be  natural,  a  real  part  of  the  everyday 
thought  and  talk,  lifted  by  its  character  and  sub- 
ject to  its  own  level.  Its  value  depends  on  its 
natural  reality. 

§  3.     religious  reality 

Thirdly,  avoid  the  mistake  of  confounding  con- 
versation on  "religion"  with  religious  conversation, 
of  thinking  that  the  desired  end  has  been  attained 
when  you  have  discussed  the  terminology  of  theol- 
ogy. To  illustrate,  in  the  family  one  hardly  ever 
hears  the  word  hygiene,  but  well-trained  children 
learn  much  about  the  care  of  their  bodies  in  health, 
and  the  family  economy  is  directed  consciously 
to  that  end.  A  good,  nourishing  meal  always 
contributes  more  to  health  than  many  lectures  on 
dietetics.  Yet  back,  hidden  away  in  the  manager's 
mind,  is  the  science  of  dietetics.  So  is  it  with 
quickening  the  child's  power  and  thought  in  the 
spiritual  life.  We  must  avoid  the  abstract,  the 
intellectually  analytical.     Religion  should  present 


The  Child's  Religious  Ideas  63 

itself  concretely,  practically,  and  as  an  atmosphere 
and  ideal  in  the  family.  We  parents  must  not 
look  for  theological  interest  in  the  child.  A 
Timothy  D wight  at  ten  or  twelve,  though  once 
found  in  Sunday-school  library  books,  is  a  mon- 
strosity. The  child's  aspiration,  his  religious  de- 
votion, his  love  for  God  will  find  expression  in 
almost  every  other  way  before  it  will  be  formulated 
into  questions  of  a  serious  theological  character. 
Nor  ought  we  to  force  upon  him  the  phrases  of 
rehgion  to  which  we  are  accustomed.  He  will  live 
in  another  day  and  must  speak  its  tongue.  His 
faith  must  find  itself  in  consciousness  and  then  be 
permitted  to  clothe  itself  in  appropriate  garments 
of  words.  Those  garments  must  be  woven  out  of 
the  realities  of  actual  experiences  in  the  child's 
life.  We  cannot  prepare  or  make  them  for  him. 
The  expression  of  rehgion  will  be  consonant  with 
the  stage  of  development.  If  his  faith  is  to  be 
real  he  must  never  be  allowed  or  tempted  to  imagine 
that  if  only  he  can  use  the  words,  the  verbal  sym- 
bol, he  has  the  fact,  the  Ufe-experience.  Try  then 
to  use  words  which  are  simple  and  meaningful  to 
him  and  be  content  to  wait  for  life  to  lead  him  to 
formulate  vital  verbal  forms  for  himself. 

§  4.      PATIENCE   AND   COMMON-SENSE 

Fourthly,  we  must  have  faith  in  God's  laws  of 
growth.     If  we  be  but  faithful,  furnishing  the  soil, 


64      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

the  seed,  the  nurture,  we  must  wait  for  the  increase. 
Many  factors  which  we  cannot  control  will  deter- 
mine whether  it  shall  be  early  or  late  and  what  form 
it  shall  take.  We  must  wait.  It  is  high  folly 
that  pulls  up  the  sprouting  grain  to  see  whether  it 
is  growing  properly. 

Fifthly,  manifestations  of  the  rehgious  life  will 
vary  in  children  and  in  families.  The  commonest 
error  is  to  expect  some  one  popular  form  alone, 
to  imagine  that  all  children  must  pass  through 
some  standardized  experiences.  Mrs.  Brown's 
Willy  may  rise  in  prayer  meeting.  Do  not  be 
downhearted.  Willy  is  only  doing  that  which 
he  has  seen  his  parents  do,  and,  usually,  only  be- 
cause they  do  it.  Your  boy,  or  girl,  is  seeking 
health  of  life,  of  thought,  of  action;  is  growing  in 
character.  Let  them  grow,  help  them  to  grow. 
You  know  they  love  you  even  when  they  say  little 
about  it;  you  do  not  expect  them  to  climb  to  the 
housetop  and  declare  their  affection.  A  flower 
does  not  sing  about  the  sun,  it  grows  toward  it. 
That  is  the  test  of  the  child's  religion :  Is  he  growing 
Godward  in  life,  action,  character  ? 

§  5.      THE   CONSCIOUSNESS   OF    GOD 

Sixthly,  deal  most  carefully  with  the  child's 
consciousness  of  God.  The  truth  is  that  the  child 
in  the  average  home  has  a  consciousness  of  God. 
It  grows  out  of  formal  references  in  social  rites 


The  Child's  Religious  Ideas  65 

and  customs,  informal  allusions  in  conversation, 
and  direct  statements  and  instruction.  But  fre- 
quently the  resultant  mental  picture  is  a  misleading 
one,  sometimes  even  vicious  in  its  moral  effect. 
Where  superstitious  servants  take  more  interest 
in  the  child's  reUgious  ideas  than  do  his  parents, 
we  have  the  child  whose  Hfe  is  darkened  by  the 
fear  of  an  omnipotent  ogre.  Nursemaids  will 
slothfuUy  scare  small  children  into  silence  by 
threats  of  the  awful  presence  of  a  bogey  god.  The 
hfe  of  the  spirit  cannot  be  trusted  to  the  hireling. 
Parents  must  be  sure  of  the  character  as  well  as 
the  superficial  competency  of  those  who  come 
closest  to  childhood.  A  child's  ideas  are  formed 
before  he  goes  to  school.  The  family  cannot 
delegate  the  formation  of  dominant  ideas  to  persons 
trained  only  for  nursery  tasks. 

But  frequently  the  mother  is  a  misleading 
teacher.  To  her  the  child  goes  with  all  the  big 
questions  outside  the  immediate  world  of  things. 
Is  she  prepared  to  answer  the  questions?  Few 
dilemmas  of  our  hfe  today  are  more  pathetic  than 
this:  the  mother  has  outgrown  the  theology  of 
her  childhood;  she  remembers  keenly  the  suffering 
and  superstition,  the  struggle  that  followed  the 
darkened  pictures  she  received  as  a  little  one,  but 
she  has  nothing  better  to  offer  the  child.  No  one 
has  taught  her  how  to  put  the  later,  more  spiritual 
concepts  into  language  for  the  child  of  our  day. 


66      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

Weakly  she  falls  back  on  the  forais  of  words  she 
once  abhorred. 

There  are  certainly  two  approaches  of  reality 
for  the  child-mind  to  the  idea  of  God.  Two  imme- 
diate experiences  are  rich  in  meaning;  they  are 
the  Hfe  of  the  family  and  the  wonder  of  the  every- 
day world,  the  Hfe  and  variety  of  nature  and  human 
activities.  The  first  is  a  very  simple  and  rich 
approach.  By  every  possible  means  help  children 
in  the  family  to  think  of  God  as  the  great  and  good 
Father  of  us  all.  Do  this  in  the  phrasing  of  prayers 
and  graces,  in  the  answers  to  their  questions,  in  the 
casual  word.  Why  should  we  assume  that  the 
Fatherhood  of  God  is  for  the  adult  alone  ?  And 
why  should  it  be  that  this  rich  concept  dawns  on 
us  like  a  new  day  of  freedom  in  truth  in  later  years 
instead  of  becoming  ours  in  childhood  and  so 
determining  the  habit  and  attitude  of  our  lives  ? 
The  finest,  the  ideal  person  is,  to  the  child,  the 
father.  God  in  terms  of  fatherhood  is  the  sum 
and  source  of  all  that  is  ideal  in  personality. 

The  child's  keen  interest  in  the  world  of  nature 
is  our  opportunity  to  lead  him  to  love  the  gracious 
source  of  all  beauty  and  goodness.  How  keen  is 
the  child's  enjoyment  of  the  beauty  of  the  world! 
Can  we  forever  fix  the  general  concept  of  all  this 
beauty  as  the  thought  of  God  in  the  words  of 
flower  and  leaf,  mountain  and  stream  ?  And  might 
we  not  also  connect  the  idea  of  God  with  the  affairs 


The  Child's  Religious  Ideas  67 

of  daily  life  ?  That  depends  on  the  parent's  atti- 
tude of  mind ;  if  we  think  of  the  universal  life  that 
is  behind  all  battles  and  business  and  affairs,  there 
will  be  a  difference  in  our  answers  to  the  thousand 
curious  inquiries  that  rise  in  the  child's  mind. 

Nor  must  we  leave  the  child  to  think  of  God  as 
a  separate,  far-off  person,  on  a  throne  somewhere 
in  the  skies.  The  child  is  finding  his  way  into  a 
universe.  The  God  who  is  a  minute  fraction  of 
that  universe  makes  possible  the  reHgion  that  is  no 
more  than  a  neghgible  fraction  of  Hfe.  The  child 
asks  concerning  clouds,  the  sea,  the  trees,  the  birds, 
and  all  the  world  about  him;  he  tends  to  interpret 
it  causally  and  ideally.  Childhood  affords  the 
great  opportunity  for  giving  the  color,  the  beauty 
and  glory,  the  life  of  the  diviae  to  all  this  universe, 
to  instil  the  feeling  that  God  is  everywhere,  in  all 
and  through  all,  and  that  in  him  we  hve  and  move 
and  have  our  being.  The  child's  joy  in  this  world 
can  thus  be  given  a  religious  meaning.     He  sings 

My  God,  I  thank  thee  thou  hast  made 

This  earth  so  bright  .  .  .  .  , 

and  so  beauty  and  joy  become  part  of  his  rehgion. 
His  faith  becomes  a  gladsome  thing;  he  knows  that 
the  trees  of  the  forest  clap  their  hands,  the  moun- 
tains and  the  hills  sing,  and  the  morning  stars 
chant  together  in  the  gladness  of  the  divine  hfe. 

Such  a  view  of  the  world  comes  not  by  pre- 
arranged and  indoor  interviews.     One  must  walk 


68      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

out  into  the  good  outdoor  world  for  the  opportunity 
and  the  inspiration.  The  garden  plot,  the  park, 
and,  best  of  all,  the  open  fields  and  woods  speak 
to  a  child  and  furnish  us  an  open  book  from  which 
we  may  teach  him  to  read.  Recalling  religious 
impressions,  the  writer  would  testify  to  feeling 
nothing  deeper,  as  a  result  of  church  attendance 
in  childhood,  than  the  shapes  of  seats  and  the 
colors  of  walls;  but  there  remain  deep  impressions 
of  wonder,  beauty,  and  the  meaning  of  God  from 
Sunday  mornings  spent  with  his  father  under  the 
great  beeches  in  Epping  Forest,  listening  to  the 
reading  and  singing  of  the  old  hymns,  or  joining 
in  conversation  on  the  woods  and  the  flowers,  and 
even  on  the  legends  of  Robin  Hood  in  the  forest. 

§  6.      THE   EVERYDAY   OPPORTUNITIES 

Seventhly,  natural  conversation  affords  the  best 
opportunity  for  direct  instruction.  A  child  is  a 
peripatetic  interrogation.  His  questions  cover  the 
universe;  there  are  no  doors  which  you  desire  to 
see  opened  that  he  will  not  approach  at  some  time. 
There  is  great  advantage  when  the  rehgious  ques- 
tion rises  normally;  when  the  child  begins  it  and 
when  the  interest  continues  with  the  same  natural- 
ness as  in  conversation  on  any  other  subject.  Then 
questions  usually  take  one  of  three  forms:  mere 
childish,  curious  questions,  questions  on  conduct, 
and  questions  on  rehgion  in  its  organized  form. 


The  Child's  Religious  Ideas  69 

The  child's  curiosity  is  the  basis  of  even  those 
questions  which  have  usually  been  credited  to 
preternatural  piety.  The  tiny  youngster  who 
asks  strange  questions  about  God  asks  equally 
startling  ones  about  fairies  or  about  his  grand- 
mother. But  his  questions  give  us  the  chance  to 
direct  him  to  right  thoughts  of  God.  Here  we 
need  to  be  sure  of  our  own  thoughts  and  to  keep 
in  mind  our  principal  purpose,  to  quicken  in  this 
child  loyalty  to  the  highest  and  best.  He  must 
be  shown  a  God  whom  he  can  love  and,  at  the  same 
time,  one  who  will  call  for  his  growing  loyalty,  his 
courage,  and  devotion.  Everything  for  the  child's 
future  depends  on  the  pictures  he  now  forms.  We 
all  carry  to  a  large  degree  our  childhood's  view 
of  God. 

Some«#f  the  child's  questions  probe  deep;  how 
shall  we  answer  them  ?  When  you  know  the  truth 
tell  him  the  truth,  being  sure  that  it  is  told  in 
language  that  really  conveys  truth  to  his  mind. 
The  danger  is  that  parents  will  attempt  to  tell 
more  than  they  know,  to  answer  questions  that 
cannot  be  answered,  or  that  they  will,  in  sloth  or 
cowardice  or  ignorance,  tell  children  untrue  things. 
If  a  child  asks,  "Did  God  make  the  world?"  the 
answer  that  will  be  true  to  the  child  may  be  a 
simple  affirmative.  If  the  child  asks  or  his  query 
impHes,  "Did  God  make  the  leaves,  or  the  birds^ 
with  his  fingers  ?"  we  had  better  take  time  to  show 


70      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

the  difference  between  man's  making  of  things 
and  the  working  of  the  divine  energy  through  all 
the  process  of  the  development  of  the  world. 
When  the  child  asks,  "Mother,  if  God  made  all 
things,  why  did  he  make  the  devil?"  it  would 
surely  be  wise  and  opportune  to  correct  the  child's 
mental  picture  of  a  personal  anti-God  and  to  take 
from  him  his  bogey  of  a  ''devil."  But  the  question 
of  the  relation  of  God  to  the  existence  of  evil  would 
remain,  and  the  best  a  parent  could  do  would  be 
to  illustrate  the  necessities  of  freedom  of  choice 
and  will  in  hfe  by  similar  freedom  in  the 
family. 

It  must  be  remembered  that  children's  curious 
questions  are  only  their  attempt  to  discover  their 
world,  that  they  have  no  peculiar  reHgious  sig- 
nificance, but  that  they  afford  the  parent  a  vital 
opportunity  for  direct  religious  instruction.  These 
questions  must  be  treated  seriously;  something 
is  missing  in  parental  consciousness  when  the 
child's  questions  furnish  only  material  for  jesting 
relation  to  the  family  friends. 

§  7.      MOEAL  TEACHING 

Questions  on  conduct:  Scores  of  times  in  the 
day  the  children  come  in  from  play  or  from  school 
and  tell  of  what  has  happened.  Their  more  or  less 
breathless  recitals  very  often  include  vigorous  ac- 
counts of  "cheating,"  "naughtiness,"  unfair  play, 


The  Child's  Religious  Ideas  71 

unkind  words,  discourtesies,  all  dependent  as  to 
their  character  on  the  age  of  the  children  and  all 
opening  doors  for  free  conversation  on  duties  and 
conduct.  Here  lies  one  of  the  large  opportunities 
for  moral  instruction.  There  is  no  need  to  attempt 
to  make  formal  occasions  for  this;  so  long  as  chil- 
dren play  and  live  with  others  they  are  under  the 
experience  of  learning  the  art  of  living  with  one 
another;  this  is  the  simple  essence  of  morahty. 
The  parent's  answers  to  their  questions  on  con- 
duct, the  comments  on  their  criticisms,  and  the 
conversation  that  may  easily  be  directed  on  these 
subjects  count  tremendously  with  the  child  in 
establishing  his  ideals  and  modes  of  conduct.  Re- 
turning to  his  play,  there  is  no  mightier  authority 
he  can  quote  than  to  say,  "My  mother  says — ," 
or  *'My  father  says — ." 

Let  no  one  say  that  instruction  in  moral  living 
is  not  rehgious,  for  there  can  be  no  adequate 
guidance  in  morals  without  religion,  nor  can  the 
religious  quality  of  the  life  find  expression  ade- 
quately except  through  conduct  in  social  living. 
Children  need  more  than  the  rules  for  living;  they 
must  feel  motives  and  see  ideals.  They  do  not 
live  by  rules  any  more  than  we  do.  Besides  the 
rule  that  is  known  there  must  be  a  reason  for 
following  it  and  a  strong  desire  to  do  so.  All 
ethical  teaching  needs  this  imperative  and  motiva- 
tion of  religion,  the  quickening  of  loyalty  to  high 


72      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

ideals,  the  doing  of  the  right  for  reasons  of  love 
as  well  as  of  duty  and  profit. 

The  father's  opportunity  comes  especially  with 
the  boys.  They  are  sure  to  bring  to  him  their 
ethical  questions  on  games  and  sport;  he  knows 
more  about  boys'  fights  and  struggles  than  does 
the  mother.  When  the  boys  begin  to  discuss  their 
games  the  father  cannot  afford  to  lack  interest. 
Trivial  as  the  question  may  seem  to  be,  it  is  the 
most  important  one  of  the  day  to  the  boy  and,  for 
the  interests  of  his  character,  it  may  be  the  most 
important  for  many  a  day  to  the  father.  If  he 
answers  with  sympathy  and  interest  this  question 
on  a  "foul  ball"  or  on  marbles  or  peg-tops,  he  has 
opened  a  door  that  will  always  stay  open  so  long 
as  he  approaches  it  with  sincerity;  if  he  shghts  it, 
if  he  is  too  busy  with  those  lesser  things  that  seem 
great  to  him,  he  has  closed  a  door  into  the  boy's 
life;  it  may  never  be  opened  again.  Children 
learn  life  through  the  life  they  are  now  Hving. 
Real  preparation  for  the  world  of  business  and 
larger  responsibilities  comes  by  the  child's  experi- 
ences of  his  present  world  of  play  and  schooling 
and  family  living.  To  help  him  to  live  this  present 
fife  aright  is  the  best  training  that  can  be  given 
for  the  right  living  of  all  fife. 

Questions  on  organized  religion:  As  children 
grow  up,  the  church  comes  into  their  range  of 
interests.     Just  as  they  often  make  the  day  school 


The  Child's  Religious  Ideas  73 

focal  for  conversation,  as  they  recount  their  day's 
work  there,  so  they  retain  impressions  of  the  church 
school,  of  the  services  of  the  church,  and  will 
always  ask  many  questions  about  this  institution 
and  its  observances.  Here  is  the  opportunity,  in 
free  conversation,  to  tell  the  child  the  meaning  of 
the  church,  the  significance  of  membership  therein, 
and  to  lead  him  to  conscious  relationship  to  the 
society  of  the  followers  of  Jesus.  (See  chap,  xvii, 
"The  Family  and  the  Church.") 

I.    References  for  Study 

Alice  E.  Fitts,  "Consciousness  of  God  in  Children,"  The 
Aims  of  Religious  Education,  pp.  330-38.  Religious 
Education  Association,  $1.00. 

W.  G.  Koons,  Child's  Religious  Life,  sec.  II.  Eaton  & 
Mains,  $1.00. 

J.  Sully,  Children's  Ways,  chap.  vi.    Appleton,  $1.25. 

II.    Further  Reading 

George  Hodges,  The  Training  of  Children  in  Religion,  chaps. 

i-vi.     Appleton,  $  I.  50. 
George  E.  Dawson,  The  Child  and  His  Religion,  chap.  ii. 

The  University  of  Chicago  Press,  $0.  75. 
Edward  Lyttleton,  The   Corner-Stone  of  Education,  chap. 

viii.     Putnam,  $  I.  50. 
T.  Stephens  (ed.).  The  Child  and  Religion.     Putnam,  $1 .  50 
C.  W.  Richell,  The  Child  as  God's  Child.     Eaton  &  Mains, 

$0.75- 
W.   G.  Koons,   The  Child's  Religious  Nature.     Eaton  & 
Mains,  $1.00. 


74     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  are  the  special  difficulties  which  you  feel  about 
introducing  the  topic  of  religion  to  children?  Describe 
any  methods  or  modes  of  approach  which  have  seemed 
successful  ? 

2.  Would  you  regard  it  as  a  fault  if  a  child  seems 
unwilling  to  talk  about  religion?  What  do  you  think 
"religion"  means  to  the  child-mind  ? 

3.  In  what  ways  do  children's  aptitudes  differ  and  what 
factors  probably  determine  the  difference?  What  was 
your  own  childish  conception  of  God?  Did  you  love 
God  or  fear  him  ?    Why  ? 

4.  Is  it  ever  right  to  teach  the  child  those  conceptions 
which  we  have  outgrown  ?  What  about  Santa  Claus 
and  fairies?  How  can  you  use  childish  figures  of  speech 
as  an  avenue  to  more  exact  truth  ? 

5.  Does  the  child  learn  more  through  ears  or  eyes? 
Through  which  agency  do  we  seek  to  convey  religious  ideas? 

6.  Is  it  possible  to  make  the  child  see  the  intimate 
relation  between  conduct  and  religion?  How  would  you 
do  this  ? 

7.  Give  some  of  the  characteristics  of  a  religious  child  of 
seven  years,  of  ten. 


CHAPTER  VII 

DIRECTED  ACTIVITY 

Probably  all  parents  find  themselves  at  some 
time  thinking  that  the  real,  fundamental  problem 
of  training  their  children  Hes  in  dealing  with  their 
superabundant  energy.  "He  is  such  an  active 
child!"  mothers  complain.  Were  he  otherwise  a 
physician  might  properly  be  consulted.  But  the 
child's  activity  does  seriously  interfere  with 
parental  peace.  It  takes  us  all  a  long  time  to 
learn  that  we  are  not,  after  all,  in  our  homes  in 
order  to  enjoy  peaceful  rest,  but  in  order  to  train 
children  into  fulness  of  life.  That  does  not  mean 
that  the  home  should  be  without  quiet  and  rest, 
but  that  we  must  not  hope  to  repress  the  energy 
of  childhood.  One  might  as  well  hope  to  plug  up 
a  spring  in  the  hillside.  Our  work  is  to  direct  that 
activity  into  glad,  useful  service. 

§  I.      VALUE    OF   ACTIVITY 

The  things  we  do  not  only  indicate  character, 

they  determine  it.     Our  thoughts  have  value  and 

power   as    they   get   into    action.     To   bend   our 

energies  toward  an  ideal  is  to  make  it  more  real, 

to  make  it  a  part  of  ourselves.     Children  learn  by 

doing — learn  not  only  that  which  they  are  doing 

but  life  itself. 

75 


76      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

It  may  be  doubted  whether  a  child  ever  grew 
who  did  not  plead  to  have  a  share  in  the  work  he 
saw  going  on  about  him.  That  desire  to  help  is 
part  of  that  fundamental  virtue  of  loyalty  of  which 
we  have  spoken  above;  it  is  his  desire  to  be  true 
to  the  tendency  of  the  home,  to  give  himself  to 
the  realization  of  its  purposes.  Of  course  he  does 
not  think  this  out  at  all.  But  this  desire  on  the 
part  of  the  child  to  have  a  hand  in  the  day's  work 
is  the  parent's  fine  opportunity  for  a  most  valuable 
and  influential  form  of  character  direction. 

One  of  the  tests  of  a  worthy  character  is  whether 
the  Kfe  is  contributory  or  parasitic,  whether  one 
carries  his  load,  does  his  work,  makes  his  contribu- 
tion, or  simply  waits  on  the  world  for  what  he  can 
get.  A  religious  interpretation  of  and  attitude 
toward  life  is  essentially  that  of  self-giving  in 
service.  "My  Father  worketh  hitherto  and  I 
work."  *'I  must  be  about  my  Father's  business." 
How  noticeable  is  the  child's  interest  in  the  vivid 
word-picture  of  One  who  "went  about  doing  good" ! 

§  2.      THE    blessing    OF   LABOR 

The  home  is  the  first  place  for  life's  habituation 
to  service.  The  child  is  greatly  to  be  pitied  who 
has  no  duties,  no  share  in  the  work.  Where  the 
hands  are  unsoiled  the  heart  is  the  easier  sulHed. 
It  is  the  height  of  mistaken  kindness,  one  of  the 
common  errors  of  an  unthinking,  superficial  affec- 


Directed  Activity  77 

tion,  to  protect  our  children  from  work.  This  is 
a  world  of  the  moral  order  and  of  the  glory  of  work. 

When  the  child  is  very  small  it  must  learn  this 
by  having  committed  to  it  very  simple  duties. 
As  soon  as  it  is  able  to  handle  things  it  may  learn 
to  do  that  which  is  most  helpful  with  those  things, 
to  care  for  its  toys,  to  put  them  away  neatly.  A 
child  can  learn  while  very  young  to  take  care  of 
its  spoon,  of  certain  clothes,  of  chair,  and  pencil  and 
paper.  True,  it  is  much  easier  to  "pick  up"  after 
the  child ;  but  to  do  so  is  to  yield  to  our  own  sloth. 
The  more  tedious  way  is  the  one  we  must  follow 
if  we  would  train  the  child. 

Besides  the  care  of  his  possessions  the  child  will 
gladly  take  a  share  in  the  general  work  of  the  home. 
Let  some  daily  duty  be  assigned  to  each  one;  such 
simple  responsibilities  as  picking  up  all  papers  and 
magazines  and  seeing  that  they  are  properly  stacked 
or  disposed  of  may  be  given  to  one;  another  may 
sweep  the  stairs  every  day  with  a  whisk  broom  (in 
one  instance  a  boy  of  eight  did  this  daily) ;  another 
may  be  "librarian,"  caring  for  all  books;  each  one, 
after  eight  years  of  age,  should  make  her  own  bed; 
each  one  should  be  entirely  responsible  for  his 
own  table  in  his  room.  Many  homes  permit  of 
many  other  "chores,"  such  as  keeping  up  the 
supply  of  small  kindling,  caring  for  a  pet  or  even 
a  larger  animal,  keeping  a  little  personal  garden 
or  vegetable  plot.     Under  those  normal  conditions 


78      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

of  living,  which  some  day  we  may  reach,  where 
each  family,  or  all  families,  have  trees  and  flowers 
and  ample  space,  the  opportunities  are  increased 
for  joyous  child  activities  which  consciously  con- 
tribute to  social  well-being  as  a  whole. 

§  3.    religion  in  action 

Perhaps  some  will  say,  this  is  not  religious 
education,  it  is  everyday  training.  Yes,  it  is 
"everyday  training,"  but  it  is  the  training  of  a 
rehgious  person  with  the  religious  purpose  of 
habituating  the  child  to  give  his  life  in  service  to 
his  world.  That  is  precisely  what  we  need — 
religion  in  everyday  action.  The  atmosphere  and 
habitual  attitude  and  conversation  of  the  family 
must  be  depended  on  to  give  a  really  religious 
meaning  to  these  everyday  acts,  to  make  them  as 
rehgious  as  going  to  church,  perhaps  more  so,  and 
so  to  make  them  a  training  for  the  life  that  is 
religious,  not  in  word  only,  but  in  deed  and  in 
truth. 

Whatever  we  may  say  to  children  on  the  subject 
of  religion,  whether  directly  or  in  teaching  by 
indirection  through  songs  and  worship,  must  pass 
over  somehow  into  action  in  order  to  have  meaning 
and  reality.  It  must  be  realized  in  order  to  be 
real.  The  diflBiculty  that  appears  is  that  of  con- 
necting the  daily  act  with  its  spiritual  significance. 
Yet  that  is  not  as  difficult  as  it  seems.     If  the  act 


Directed  Activity  79 

has  religious  significance  to  us,  if  we  form  the  habit 
of  really  worshiping  God  with  our  work,  seeking 
in  it  to  do  his  will,  the  child  will  know  it.  We 
cannot  keep  that  hidden.  The  spiritual  hfe  will 
never  be  more  real  to  the  child  than  it  is  to 
us,  and  no  amount  of  morahzing  or  spirituahzing 
about  our  acts  or  his  will  give  them  rehgious 
significance. 

At  least  one  person  will  testify  that,  after  being 
brought  up  in  a  really  religious  home,  the  most 
strikingly  rehgious  memory  of  that  home  is  an 
occasion  when  he  deUghtedly  carried  a  tray  of  food 
to  a  sick  neighbor.  It  was  doing  the  very  thing 
that  he  longed  to  do,  realizing  the  aspiration  that 
had  been  unable  to  find  words  or  form  before. 
So  the  life  of  action  can  be  steadily  trained  by 
acts  of  kindness.  Habits  are  acts  repeated  until 
they  pass  from  the  vohtional  to  the  involuntary. 
The  only  process  we  can  follow  is  steadily  to  train 
the  children  in  the  wilHng  and  doing  of  the  right, 
the  good,  and  the  kindly  deed,  until  it  becomes 
habitual.  Let  the  child  prepare  the  tray  of  deli- 
cacies, pack  the  flowers  we  are  sending,  carry  them 
over  if  possible,  at  least  have  a  share  in  all  our 
ministries.^ 

'  A  short  list  of  books  on  child  activity  in  the  home  is  appended 
at  the  end  of  this  chapter;  a  fairly  complete  list,  long  enough  for 
any  family,  wiU  be  found  on  p.  117  of  The  Church  School,  by 
W,  S.  Atheam. 


8o      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

The  modern  Sunday  school  recognizes  the  im- 
portance of  activity  in  forming  religious  character; 
therefore  it  plans  and  organizes  social  activities 
for  students  to  carry  out.^  The  parents  ought 
to  know  what  is  desigiied  for  each  child  in  his 
respective  grade  and  to  plan  to  co-operate  with  the 
school.  Where  the  family  unites  in  the  forms  of 
service  suggested  for  the  children,  these  activities 
lose  all  perfunctoriness  and  take  on  a  new  reality. 
Social  usefulness  becomes  a  normal  part  of  hfe. 

Do  we  remember  the  best  times  of  our  child- 
hood ?  Were  they  not  when  we  were  doing  things  ? 
And  were  not  the  best  of  these  best  times  when  we 
were  doing  the  best  things,  those  that  seemed  ideal, 
that  gave  us  a  sense  of  helping  someone  or  of  put- 
ting into  action  the  best  of  our  thoughts  ?  That  is 
the  chance  and  the  joy  our  children  are  longing 
for,  and  that  joy  will  be  their  strength. 

§  4.     religion  in  service 

The  family  has  excellent  opportunities  for 
developing  through  its  own  activities  and  duties 
the  habits  of  the  religious  Hfe.  Children  may 
acquire  through  daily  acts  the  habit  of  thinking 
of  hfe  as  just  the  chance  to  love  and  serve.  Service 
may  become  perfectly  normal  to  hfe.  Our  modern 
paupers,   whether   they   tramp    the   highways   or 

'  See  W.  N.  Hutchins,  Graded  Social  Service  for  the  Sunday 
School. 


Directed  Activity  8i 

ride  in  private  cars,  came  usually  out  of  homes 
where  the  moral  standard  interpreted  life  as  just 
the  chance  of  graft,  to  gain  without  giving,  to  have 
without  earning.  Parental  indulgence  educates 
in  pauperism.  Let  a  boy  remain  the  passive  bene- 
ficiary of  all  the  advantages  of  a  home  until  he  is 
sixteen  or  eighteen,  and  it  will  be  exceedingly 
difficult  to  convert  him  from  the  pauper  habit. 

The  hard  task  before  parents  is  to  save  their 
children  from  the  snare  of  passive  luxury.  Per- 
haps, remembering  our  toilsome  youth,  we  seek 
to  shield  them.  It  is  a  serious  unkindness.  It  is 
a  wrong  to  our  world.  The  religious  mind  is  the 
one  that  takes  life  in  terms  of  service,  sees  the  days 
as  doors  to  ways  of  usefulness,  girds  itself  with 
the  towel,  and  finds  honor  in  bending  to  do  the 
little  things  for  the  least  of  men.  Vain  is  all 
family  worship,  all  prayer  and  praise  and  catechism, 
unless  we  train  the  feet  to  walk  this  way  so  that 
they  may  visit  the  imprisoned,  clothe  the  naked, 
comfort  the  sad,  and  cheer  the  broken  in  heart. 
The  family  may  make  this  the  normal  way  to  live. 

If  the  family  would  train  boys  and  girls  who 
shall  be  true  followers  of  the  great  Servant,  it  must 
stand  among  men  as  a  servant,  it  must  see  itself 
as  set  in  the  community  to  serve,  and  by  habits  of 
service  and  helpfulness,  by  its  whole  social  tone, 
it  must  quicken  in  its  own  people  the  sense  of 
social  obligation  and  a  realization  of  the  delight 


82      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

in  self-giving.  A  home  that  is  selfish  in  relation 
to  other  homes,  in  relation  to  its  community,  can 
have  no  other  than  selfish,  antisocial,  and  there- 
fore irrehgious  children.  The  first  step  in  the  wel- 
fare of  a  child  is  to  see  that  the  home  which  con- 
stitutes his  personal  atmosphere  is  steeped  in  the 
spirit  of  good-will  toward  men. 

The  whole  attitude  of  fife  is  determined  by  the 
thought-atmosphere  of  the  family.  The  greedy 
family  makes  the  grafting  citizen.  The  grasping 
home  makes  the  pugnacious  disturber  of  the  pubKc 
peace.  Greater  than  the  question  whether  you 
are  a  good  citizen  in  your  relation  to  the  ballot 
box  is  the  one  whether  you  are  a  cultivator  of  good 
citizenship  in  your  home.  No  amount  of  Sunday- 
school  teaching  on  the  Beatitudes  or  week-day 
teaching  on  civics  is  going  to  overcome  the  down- 
drag  of  envious,  antisocial  thought  and  feeling 
and  conversation  in  the  home.  Home  action 
and  attitude  count  for  more  than  all  besides. 

It  is  equally  true  that  no  other  influence  can 
offset  the  salutary  power  of  a  truly  social  home, 
that  the  easiest,  most  natural,  and  effective  method 
of  teaching  social  duty  and  unselfishness  is  to  do 
our  whole  social  duty  unselfishly. 

§  5.    family  training  for  social  living 

The  supreme  test  of  the  religious  Hfe  here  is 
ability  to  live  among  men  as  brothers  and  to  cause 


Directed  Activity  83 

the  conditions  of  the  divine  family  to  be  realized  on 
earth.  If  we  can  realize  that  the  purpose  of  Jesus 
was  to  bring  men  into  the  family  of  God,  that  the 
aim  of  all  rehgious  endeavor  is  the  family  char- 
acter in  men  and  women  and  the  conditions  of  that 
family  in  all  society,  we  must  surely  appreciate 
the  possibility  of  the  human  family  as  a  training 
school  for  this  larger  family  of  humanity. 

The  infant  approaches  social  living  by  the  path- 
way of  the  society  of  the  family.  We  all  go  out 
into  hfe  through  widening  circles,  first  the  mother's 
arms,  then  the  family,  the  neighborhood,  the  city, 
the  state,  the  nation,  the  world-hfe.  Each  circle 
prepares  for  the  next.  The  family  is  the  child's 
social  order;  its  life  is  his  training  for  the  larger 
Hfe  of  nation  and  human  brotherhood. 

Just  how  men  and  women  will  live  in  society 
is  determined  principally  by  the  bent  of  their 
characters  in  the  social  order  of  the  family.  Their 
attitude  to  the  world  follows  the  attitude  of  the 
family,  especially  of  the  parents.  They  interpret 
the  larger  world  by  the  lesser.  The  home  is  the 
great  school  of  citizenship  and  social  living. 

All  the  moral  and  religious  problems  of  the 
family  find  a  focus  in  the  purpose  of  preparing 
persons  for  social  living.  The  family  justifies  its 
cost  to  society  in  the  contribution  which  it  makes 
in  trained  and  motived  lives.  As  a  religious  family 
its  first  duty  is  to  prepare  the  coming  generation 


84      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

to  live  in  a  religious  society,  in  one  which  will 
steadily  move  toward  the  divine  ideal  of  perfect 
family  relations  through  brotherhood  and  father- 
hood. Its  business  is  not  to  get  children  ready  for 
heaven,  but  to  train  them  to  make  all  life  heavenly. 
Its  aim  is  not  alone  children  who  will  not  tear 
down  the  parents'  reputation,  but  men  and  women 
who  will  build  up  the  actual  worth  and  beauty 
of  all  lives. 

The  realization,  in  the  family,  of  the  purpose  of 
training  youth  to  social  living  and  service  in  the 
reHgious  spirit  depends  on  two  things:  a  spirit 
and  passion  in  the  family  for  social  justice  and 
order,  and  the  direction  of  the  activities  of  the 
family  toward  training  in  social  usefulness. 

Only  the  social  spirit  can  give  birth  to  the  social 
spirit.  True  lovers  of  men,  who  set  the  values  of 
life  and  of  the  spirit  first,  who  give  their  lives  that 
all  men  may  have  freedom  and  means  to  find  more 
abundant  Ufe,  come  out  of  the  families  where  the 
passion  of  human  love  burns  high.  The  selfish 
family,  self-centered,  caring  not  at  all  in  any  deep 
sense  for  the  well-being  of  others,  existing  to  extract 
the  juice  of  life  and  let  who  will  be  nourished  on 
the  rind,  becomes  effective  to  make  the  social 
highwayman,  the  oppressor.  From  such  a  family 
comes  he  who  breaks  laws  for  his  pocketbook  and 
impedes  the  enactment  of  laws  lest  human  rights 
should  prevent  his  acquisition  of  wealth;   he  who 


Directed  Activity  85 

hates  his  brother  man — unless  that  brother  has 
more  than  he  has;  the  foe  of  the  kingdom  of  good- 
ness and  peace  and  brotherhood. 

And  goodness  is  as  contagious  as  badness.  Chil- 
dren catch  the  spirit  of  social  love  and  idealism 
in  the  family.  Where  men  and  women  are  deeply 
concerned  with  all  that  makes  the  world  better  for 
lives,  better  for  babies  and  mothers,  for  workers, 
and,  above  all,  for  the  values  of  the  spirit  gained 
through  leisure,  opportunities,  and  higher  incen- 
tives; where  the  family  is  more  concerned  with 
folks  than  with  furniture;  where  habitually  it 
thinks  of  people  as  Jesus  did,  as  the  objects 
most  of  all  worth  seeking,  worth  investmg  in, 
there  children  receive  direction,  habituation,  and 
motivation  for  the  Hfe  of  rehgion,  the  Ufe  that 
binds  them  in  glad  love  to  the  service  of  their 
fellows,  and  makes  them  think  of  all  their  life 
as  the  one  great  chance  to  serve,  to  make  a 
better  world,  and  to  bring  God's  great  family 
closer  together  here. 

I.    References  for  Study 

G.  A.  Coe,  Education  in  Religion  and  Morals,  pp.  142-50. 

Revell,  $1.35. 
W.  S.  Athearn,  The  Church  School,  pp.  85-102.     Pilgrim 

Press,  $1 .  00. 
G.  Johnson,  Education  by  Plays  and  Games,  Part  I.     Ginn 

&  Co.,  $0.90. 


86      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

II.    Further  Reading 
E.  D.  Angell,  Play.    Little,  Brown  &  Co.,  $1.50. 
Fisher,    Gulick,    et   al.,    "Ethical    Significance   of    Play," 
Materials  for  Religious  Education,  pp.  197-215.     Reli- 
gious Education  Association,  $0.  50. 
Publications  of  the  Play  Ground  Association. 

III.    Methods  and  Materials 

PLAY 

Forbush,  Manual  of  Play.    Jacobs,  $1 .  00. 

A.  Newton,  Graded  Games.    Barnes,  $1.  25. 

Von  Palm,  Rainy  Day  Pastimes.     Dana  Estes,  $1 .  00. 

Johnson,  When  Mother  Lets  Us  Help.     Moffat,  Yard  &  Co., 

$0.75. 

WORK 

Canfield,  What  Shall  We  Do  Now?     Stokes,  $1 .  50. 
Beard,  Jack  of  All  Trades.     Scribner,  $2.00. 
Beard,  Things  Worth  Doing.     Scribner,  $2.00. 
Bailey,  Garden  Making.     Macmillan,  $1.  50. 
Bailey   (ed.),   Something  to  Do   (magazine).     School  Arts 
Publishing  Co. 

IV.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  Is  the  quiet  child  an  ideal  child?  How  far  should 
we  go  in  restraining  activity  ? 

2.  The  relative  advantages  of  work  and  leisure  for 
children.  What  of  the  value  of  chores  to  you;  did  you  do 
them?  Describe  any  forms  of  children's  service  in  the 
home  which  have  come  under  your  observation. 

3.  What  forms  of  community  service  can  be  done  by 
children  and  by  young  people  ? 

4.  Recall  any  lessons  learned  by  activity  in  your  early 
home  life. 

5.  Give  in  their  order,  according  to  your  judgment,  the 
potencies  for  religious  character  in  the  home. 


CHAPTER  VIII 

THE  HOME  AS  A  SCHOOL' 

The  home  is  so  mighty  as  a  school  because, 
requiring  little  time  for  formal  instruction,  it  enlists 
its  scholars  so  largely  in  informal  activities.  It 
trains  for  life  by  Kving;  it  trains  as  an  institution, 
by  a  group  of  activities,  a  series  of  duties,  a  set  of 
habits.  If  the  home  is  to  prepare  for  social  living 
it  will  be  most  of  all  and  best  of  all  by  its  organi- 
zation and  conduct  as  a  social  institution. 

§  I.      AN   IDEAL   COMMUNITY 

For  the  purposes  of  society  homes  must  be 
social- training  centers;  they  must  be  conducted  as 
communities  if  their  members  are  to  be  fitted 
for  communal  living.  No  boy  is  likely  to  be  ready 
for  the  responsibihties  of  free  citizenship  who  has 
spent  his  years  in  a  home  under  an  absolute  mon- 
archy; or,  as  is  today  perhaps  more  frequently 
the  case,  in  a  condition  of  unmitigated  anarchy. 
A  free  society  cannot  consist  of  units  not  free. 
The  problems  of  parental  discipline  arise  and 
appear  as  persistently  irritating  and  perplexing 

'  This  chapter  is,  with  the  publisher's  kind  permission,  taken, 
with  sundry  minor  changes,  from  the  author's  pamphlet,  The 
Home  as  a  School  for  Social  Limig,  published  by  the  American 
Baptist  Publication  Society  in  the  "  Social  Service  Series." 

87 


88      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

stumbling-blocks  in  many  a  home  simply  because 
that  home  is  organized  altogether  out  of  harmony 
and  relation  with  the  normal  life  in  which  it  is  set. 
Society  environing  the  home  gives  its  members  the 
habits  of  twentieth-century  autonomy,  individual 
initiative  and  responsibility,  together  with  collect- 
ive living  and  working,  while  the  home  often  seeks 
to  perpetuate  thirteenth-century  absolutism,  serf- 
dom, and  subjection.  In  social  living  outside  the 
home  we  learn  to  do  the  will  of  all;  in  the  home 
we  attempt  to  compel  children  to  do  the  will 
of  one. 

§  2.      COMMUNITY   INTERESTS 

The  home  organized  as  a  social  community  will 
give  to  every  member,  according  to  his  ability,  a 
share  in  its  guidance  and  will  expect  from  every 
member  the  free  contribution  of  his  powers.  Its 
rules  will  be  made  by  the  will  of  all,  and  its  affairs 
governed,  not  by  an  executive  board  composed  of 
the  parents,  but  by  the  free  participation  and 
choice  of  all.  The  young  will  learn  to  choose  by 
choosing;  wiU  learn  both  how  to  rule  and  to  be 
ruled  by  a  share  in  ruling. 

To  be  explicit,  suppose  a  piece  of  furniture  is 
desired  for  the  home.  Two  plans  at  least  are 
possible:  first,  the  "head  of  the  home"  may  go 
forth  and  purchase  it  without  consulting  anyone, 
or  after   advising   with   the   other   "head";    or, 


The  Home  as  a  School  89 

second,  before  a  purchase  is  made,  the  wisdom  of 
such  an  addition  to  the  furniture  may  be  sug- 
gested in  the  open  council  of  the  whole  family  and 
the  purchase  discussed  and  determined  by  all. 
Such  councils,  usually  coming  at  or  after  the  prin- 
cipal meal,  freely  participated  in  by  all,  give  even 
to  the  youngest  a  sense  of  the  cost  of  a  home,  of  the 
care  that  goes  into  it,  with,  what  is  more  important, 
a  sense  of  a  share  in  these  cares  and  costs ;  they  culti- 
vate habits  of  prudence,  of  consideration  of  a  matter, 
of  steady  judgments,  of  deference  to  the  wishes  and 
wisdom  of  others.  Of  still  greater  importance  is 
another  practical  issue  of  such  a  plan — that  every 
member  of  the  household  has  a  new  sense  of  pro- 
prietorship with  deepened  responsibihty.  Instead 
of  thinking  of  any  household  possession  as  father's 
or  mother's,  or  even  mine,  it  becomes  ours.  The 
parents  no  longer  need  to  say,  "Children,  do  not 
mar  the  furniture;  it  costs  money  to  replace  it." 
The  children  know  that  already,  and  they  have  the 
same  pride  in  the  home  possessions  and  the  same 
desire  to  preserve  them  as  they  have  in  that  which 
is  pecuHarly  their  own.  A  habit  of  mind  results 
from  such  a  course  so  that,  by  thinking  in  terms 
of  common  possession  of  the  best  things  of  life,  there 
is  cultivated  that  respect  for  the  rights  of  others 
which  is  simply  right  social  thinking. 

The  same  plan  could  be  pursued  in  relation  to 
almost  every  interest  of  the  family — as  the  planning 


go     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

of  the  annual  vacation  and  outing,  the  holidays, 
picnics,  and  birthday  celebrations,  the  church 
and  rehgious  exercises.  Above  all,  in  the  last 
mentioned,  this  social  spirit  may  be  cultivated. 
The  father  may  cease  to  be  the  "high  priest"  for 
his  family  and  become  a  worshiper  along  with  the 
other  members.  The  effect  will  be  that  his  chil- 
dren are  more  likely  to  stay  as  worshipers  with 
him  than  if  they  gazed  on  him  as  on  some  lonely 
elevation,  unrelated  to  them  in  his  rehgious  exer- 
cises. The  reading,  the  song,  the  prayers,  the 
comment  and  discussion,  the  story- telling,  and  all 
that  may  make  up  the  regular  specific  rehgious 
activities  of  the  family  should  be  such  that  all  may 
have  a  share  in  them.  Nothing  could  be  finer, 
diviner,  and  bring  larger  helpfulness  for  social 
Hving  than  the  attempt  of  the  least  httle  Ksping 
child  to  throw  herself  into  the  unified  family  act 
of  prayer,  as  when  one  little  tot,  unable  to  say  the 
Lord's  Prayer,  united  in  worship  at  the  time  of 
that  act  by  saying,  as  reverently  as  possible, 
"One,  two,  three,  four,  five,"  etc.,  up  to  ten. 
The  abihty  to  count  was  her  latest  accomphsh- 
ment;  counting  to  ten  was  bringing  the  very  best 
thing  she  then  had  and,  in  the  act  of  family  worship, 
offering  her  part  to  the  Most  High.  A  fine  sense 
of  worship  and  a  desire  to  be  one  with  the  others  in 
this  united,  communal  service  prompted  the  par- 
ticipation. 


The  Home  as  a  School  91 

§  3,  community  service 
Community  service  may  be  cultivated  in  the 
home.  Here  is  the  ideal  social  community,  where 
there  are  neither  parasites  nor  paupers,  where  all 
give  of  their  best  for  the  best  of  all.  No  one  doubts 
that  the  baby  gives  its  full  share  of  happiness  and 
cheer,  and  the  aged  their  offering  of  consolation 
and  experience ;  but  the  difficulty  is  supposed  to  be 
with  the  lad  and  the  girl  who  would  rather  play 
than  work.  Usually  this  is  because  the  habits  of 
co-operation  in  the  life  of  this  community  have 
been  too  long  neglected.  The  small  boy  or  girl  had 
no  share  in  its  work.  Parents  are  too  busy  to  think 
through  the  matter  of  finding  suitable  duties  for  all. 
It  is  so  much  easier  to  do  things  one's  self,  even 
though  the  child  misses  the  benefits  of  participa- 
tion. More  frequently  the  blame  lies  in  the 
fact  that  parents  desire  to  shield  children  from 
labor.  Some  would  have  them  grow  up  without 
knowing  what  they  count  as  the  degradation  of 
toil.  But  a  boy  who  knows  nothing  of  the 
''chores"  has  missed  half  the  joys  of  boyhood, 
and  has  a  terribly  hard  lesson  ahead  of  him  when  he 
goes  out  to  relate  himself  to  Kfe.  No  matter  what 
one's  station  may  be,  there  is  a  part  to  be  played, 
and  one's  piece  of  work  to  be  done.  The  greatest 
unkindness  we  can  do  our  children  is  to  train  them 
to  Hves  that  do  not  play  their  part.  The  home  is 
our  chance  to  train  a  man  to  harmonious  usefulness 


92      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

in  his  world.  Not  only  should  the  family  train  to 
social  co-operation  and  service,  but  it  should  train 
to  efficiency  therein.  Do  not  let  your  child's 
duties  become  a  farce;  let  them  exact  as  much  of 
him  as  the  world  will  exact  also ;  that  is,  efficiency, 
accuracy,  thoroughness,  and  fidelity, 

§  4.      A   SCHOOL   or    SOCIAL  MINISTRY 

The  family  trains  Hves  for  social  ministry. 
The  unsocial  lives  come  out  of  unsocial  homes. 
The  home  that  exists  for  itself  alone  trains  Hves 
that  exist  only  for  themselves ;  these  are  the  homes 
that  throw  the  sand  of  selfishness  into  the  wheels 
of  society;  they  ultimately  effect  social  suicide 
through  selfishness.  The  attitude  and  atmosphere 
of  the  home  are  of  first  importance  here.  As  we 
think,  so  will  our  children  act.  If  the  home  is  to  us 
a  place  without  responsibihties  for  the  neighbor- 
hood, without  duties  to  neighbors,  without  social 
roots,  then  it  is  a  school  for  industrial,  commer- 
cial, and  social  greed  and  warfare.  As  we  tliink 
in  our  hearts  and  talk  at  our  table,  so  are  we 
educating  those  who  sit  thereat. 

If  we  would  have  our  homes  really  efficient  and 
worthy  agencies  for  education  in  social  living,  the 
first  thing  to  do  is  to  seek  the  social  atmosphere,  to 
cultivate  all  those  influences  which  young  Hves  un- 
consciously absorb.  We  all  know  that  character 
comes  through  environment  in  large  measure,  and 


The  Home  as  a  School  93 

that  the  mental  and  spiritual  environment  is  by  far 
the  most  potent.  Here  is  something  that  affects 
us  more  than  the  finest  or  poorest  furniture  and 
that  gives  the  real  zest  and  flavor  to  any  meal. 
The  choice  of  our  own  reading  enters  here,  not 
only  the  matter  of  reading  in  sociology,  but  of  all 
reading,  as  to  whether  it  blinds  with  class  preju- 
dices, intensifies  caste  feeling,  or  atrophies  social 
sympathy  by  pandering  to  selfishness  and  sensu- 
ousness.  The  control  of  our  own  feeHngs  and 
judgment  enters  here.  Do  we  sedulously  cultivate 
charity  for  others  ?  Do  we  stifle  impatience,  bitter- 
ness, class  feehng?  Do  we  guide  the  conver- 
sation of  visitors  and  the  family  group  so  that 
antisocial  passions  are  subdued  and  a  spirit  of 
brotherly  love  and  compassion  for  all  is  cultivated  ? 
Here  men  and  women  have  opportunity  to  give 
evidence  of  a  change  of  heart;  here  they  need 
that  awakening  to  social  consciousness  which  is  a 
new  birth,  a  regeneration  into  the  Ufe  of  the  Son 
of  Man  who  came  to  give  his  fife. 

By  its  active  ministry  the  family  is  training  for 
social  Hving.  When  a  child  carries  a  bowl  of  soup 
to  some  sick  or  needy  one,  he  learns  a  lesson  never 
to  be  forgotten.  The  memories  of  hours  of  planning 
and  preparation  for  some  neighborly  service — the 
making  of  bread,  the  packing  of  a  box,  the  preserves 
for  the  sick — shine  out  like  sunshine  spots  along 
childhood's  ways;  they  direct  manhood's  steps. 


94     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

We  are  gradually  learning  that  social  duties  are 
not  learned  save  through  social  deeds;  that  even 
the  most  carefully  prepared  and  perfectly  peda- 
gogical systems  of  instruction  fail,  standing  alone. 
The  college  student  uses  the  laboratory  method  in 
his  sociology — though  we  know  that  sociology  may 
be  as  far  from  social  Hving  as  the  poles  are  apart. 
The  Social  Service  Association  of  the  Young  Men's 
Christian  Association  has  given  up  attempts  to 
teach  social  duty  in  favor  of  the  plan  of  undertaking 
specific  pieces  of  social  activity.  The  home  must 
adopt  the  laboratory  method.  The  important 
thing  is,  not  what  the  father  or  mother  may 
systematically  teach  about  the  social  duties  of  the 
children,  but  what  kinds  of  service,  of  ministry 
and  normal  activity  they  may  lead  the  children  to; 
that  is,  in  what  ways  they  may  all  together  dis- 
charge their  functions  in  society. 

§  5.      FAMILIES  AS  COMMUNITY  FACTORS 

Each  family  must  clearly  see  its  normal  relations 
to  its  community,  to  the  social  whole;  first,  as  an 
association  of  social  beings  having  social  duties, 
obligations,  and  privileges;  then,  to  see  that  the 
ordering  of  the  daily  life  is  the  largest  single  factor 
in  determining  the  value  of  the  family  to  the 
development  of  the  community,  fitting  harmoni- 
ously into  the  larger  community,  and  rendering  its 
share  of  service. 


The  Home  as  a  School  95 

The  disorderly  home  spreads  its  immoral  con- 
tagion beyond  its  walls,  out  into  the  front  yard, 
out  and  up  and  down  the  street,  and  all  through 
the  village  and  city.  The  City  Beautiful  cannot 
come  until  we  have  the  Home  Beautiful.  Training 
each  one  to  play  his  part  in  keeping  the  house  in 
order,  picking  up  and  setting  in  place  his  own  tools 
and  playthings,  preventing  and  removing  Htter, 
scraps,  and  elements  of  disorder  and  discomfort, 
acquiring  habits  of  neatness  based  on  social 
motives — these  things  make  more  for  the  city  of 
beauty  and  health  than  all  our  lectures  on  clean 
cities. 

No  family  lives  to  itself.  Young  people  need  to 
see  clearly  how  their  homes  and  their  habits  in  the 
home  impinge  on  other  homes  and  hves.  This  is 
impressed  upon  us  in  an  accentuated  and  acute 
degree  in  city  living.  One  can  hardly  imagine  a 
finer  discipHne  of  grace  than  apartment  Hving, 
though  one  may  well  question  whether  it  is  not 
morally  and  hygienically  flying  in  the  face  of  the 
natural  order.  We  may  not  have  for  a  long  time 
municipal  ordinances  forbidding  boiled  dinners, 
limburger,  and  phonographs  in  city  apartments; 
but  if,  unfortunately,  we  are  compelled  to  live  in 
these  modern  abominations,  we  ought  to  cultivate 
a  conscience  that  will  not  inflict  our  idiosyncrasies, 
either  in  cuHnary  aromas  or  in  musical  taste,  on  our 
neighbors.     But  there   are  matters  greater  than 


96      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

these  by  which  the  home  trains  for  social  thought- 
fuhiess.  No  man  has  a  right  to  grow  weeds  at  home, 
because  the  seeds  never  stay  there.  A  howHng  dog, 
a  disease-breeding  sty,  a  fly-harboring  stable,  must 
be  viewed,  not  from  the  point  of  the  family's  con- 
venience, but  from  that  of  others'  welfare. 

§  6.      TRAINING   FOR   CITIZENSHIP 

The  family  has  a  duty  to  train  children  for 
Christian  citizenship.  No  other  institution  can 
take  its  place  even  here.  Courses  of  lectures  in 
churches  and  settlements  effect  excellent  results, 
and  the  study  of  civics  from  the  moral  and  ideal 
viewpoint  should  be  encouraged  in  the  schools ;  but 
the  home  is  the  place  where,  after  all,  citizens 
are  trained  and  the  value  or  menace  of  their 
citizenship  determined.  If  we  stop  long  enough 
to  get  a  clear  understanding  of  what  we  mean  by 
citizenship  this  will  be  the  more  evident. 

Citizenship  is  the  condition  of  full  communal, 
social  Uving  in  a  democracy.  It  is  not  a  special 
department  or  activity  of  a  man's  life  which  he 
exercises  once  in  a  while,  as  at  the  primary  or  at  the 
polls  or  through  the  political  campaign;  it  is  a 
permanent  condition,  the  condition  of  his  social 
Uving  in  a  democracy.  It  seems  to  be  worth  while 
to  think  of  this  enough  to  be  quite  sure  of  it,  for 
we  have  thought  too  long  of  citizenship  as  a  special 
aspect  of  one's  hfe  or  as  an  occasional  duty;    we 


The  Home  as  a  School  97 

have  called  for  good  citizenship  at  times  of  election 
and  have  been  content  with  dormant  citizenship 
at  other  times;  we  have  said  that  one  was  exer- 
cising his  citizenship  when  he  voted,  and  have 
forgotten  that  he  was  exercising  it  or  abusing  or 
neglecting  it  as  he  walked  the  streets,  talked  with 
his  neighbors,  or  in  any  way  Hved  the  Ufe  that 
has  relations  to  other  lives. 

Matters  of  citizenship  are  simply  matters  of 
social  Uving,  as  social  living  expresses  itself  through 
what  we  caU  government;  that  is,  through  com- 
munal, civic,  national  administration  and  regula- 
tion. Citizenship  is  social  control  in  action,  not 
through  poKtical  activity  alone,  but  through  all  that 
concerns  civic  and  communal  life.  In  view  of  this 
it  may  be  worth  while  to  look  a  little  more  closely 
into  the  relations  of  family  Hf e  to  this  matter  of  the 
determination  of  the  character  of  our  citizenship. 

The  family  is  an  agency  for  religious  training  in 
citizenship.  The  family  is  the  first,  smallest,  and 
still  the  most  common  and  potent  social  group.  It 
is  the  community- in  which  we  nearly  all  learn  com- 
munal living.  At  first  it  is  a  child's  world,  then 
comes  his  nation,  and  then  his  city,  but  ere  long 
again  the  family  is  his  own  kingdom.  Its  ideals, 
constantly  interpreted  in  action,  determine  our 
ideals.  Where  the  father  is  greedy,  self -centered, 
regarding  the  home  as  solely  for  his  convenience  as 
his  private  boarding-house,  where  he  is  a  despotic 


98      Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

boss,  why  should  not  the  son  at  least  tolerate 
bossism  in  his  city  if  he  does  not  himself  pattern 
after  his  father  on  a  wider  scale  and  regard  the  city 
or  the  state  as  his  private  boarding-house  and  the 
treasury  as  his  private  manger?  Where  the 
mother  is  a  petty  parasite,  what  wonder  the  chil- 
dren regard  with  indifference,  if  not  even  with 
admiration,  the  whole  system  of  civic  and  social 
barnacles,  leeches,  and  other  parasites  ? 

The  very  organization  of  the  home  must  prepare 
for  civic  duty  by  laying  upon  all  appropriate  duties 
and  activities.  It  ought  to  be  an  ideal  type  of 
community.  But  that  can  never  be  until  we  take 
the  training  of  parents  seriously  in  hand;  until  we 
cease  to  delegate  the  pedagogy  of  courtship,  mar- 
riage, and  home-founding  to  the  comic  supplements 
of  the  Sunday  papers  and  to  the  joke  columns. 
Parents  must  themselves  be  trained  for  the  busi- 
ness of  the  organization  of  homes  as  educational 
agencies. 

The  life  and  work  of  the  home  ought  to  train 
rehgiously  for  citizenship,  by  causing  each  to  bear 
his  due  share  of  the  burdens  of  all.  Where  the 
child  has  been  forced  to  do  the  indolent  parent's 
share,  to  support  the  slothful  father,  he  can  only 
look  forward  to  the  time  when  he  will  be  free  to 
support  only  himself,  and  have  no  other  than 
purely  egoistic  obligations;  this  is  an  utterly  im- 
moral conception,  and  one  squarely  opposed  to 
good  citizenship.     Where  the  boy  or  the  girl  has 


The  Home  as  a  School  99 

been  trained  to  regard  all  toil  as  dishonorable,  where 
each  has  been  taught  scrupulously  to  avoid  every 
burden,  they  come  into  social  living  with  habits 
set  against  bearing  their  share  and  toward  making 
others  carry  them.  The  indolent  parent  makes 
the  tax-dodging  citizen,  as  the  indulgent  parent 
often  makes  the  place-hunting  citizen  who  becomes 
a  tax  on  the  public. 

The  ideals  of  the  family  determine  the  needs  of 
citizens.  Its  conversation,  its  reading,  its  customs, 
set  the  standard  of  social  needs.  Where  the 
father  laughs  at  the  smartness  of  the  artful  dod^e 
in  politics,  where  the  mother  sighs  after  the  tinsel 
and  toys  that  she  knows  others  have  bought  with 
corrupt  cash,  where  the  conversation  at  the  meal- 
table  steadily,  though  often  unconsciously,  lifts 
up  and  lauds  those  who  are  out  after  the  "real 
thing,"  the  eager  ears  about  that  board  drink  it 
in  and  childish  hearts  resolve  what  they  will  do 
when  they  have  a  chance.  Where  no  voice  speaks 
for  high  things,  where  no  tide  of  indignation 
against  wrong  sweeps  into  language,  where  the 
children  never  feel  that  the  parents  have  great 
moral  convictions — where  no  vision  is,  the  people 
perish. 

Yet  to  realize  this  civic  responsibility  of  the 
home  would  be,  in  the  greater  number  of  instances, 
to  remedy  it.  In  those  other  instances  where  there 
are  no  civic  ideals,  where  the  domestic  conscience 


loo    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

is  dead,  there  rests  upon  the  state,  upon  society, 
for  its  own  sake,  the  responsibiHty  to  train  those 
children  so  that,  at  any  rate,  they  will  not  per- 
petuate homes  of  this  type.  We  may  do  very 
much  by  the  stimulation  and  direction  of  parents. 
Men  need  but  to  be  reminded  of  their  duty  to 
make  it  a  part  of  their  business  to  train  their 
children  in  social  duty. 

I.    References  for  Study 

Taylor,  Religion  in  Social  Action,  chaps,  vii,  viii.     Dodd, 

Mead  &  Co.,  $1.25. 
E.  J.  Ward,  The  Social  Center,  chap.  v.    Appleton,  $1.50. 

II.    Further  Reading 

Lofthouse,  Ethics  in  the  Family.    Hodder  &  Stoughton, 
$1.50. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1 .  What  is  the  special  social  importance  of  the  f amUy  ? 

2.  How  do  children  acquire  their  social  ideals  from  the 
home? 

3.  What  are  the  advantages  which  the  home  has  as  a 
school ? 

4.  How  do  homes  train  for  the  responsibilities  of  citizen- 
ship? 

5.  Can  you  describe  any  plans  of  community  councils 
in  the  home? 

6.  How  would  you  promote  community  service  in  the 
family  ? 

7.  What  are  the  dangers  of  unsocial  and  selfish  lives 
growing  in  the  home  ? 


CHAPTER  IX 
THE  CHILD'S  IDEAL  LIFE 

The  modern  child  is  Hkely  to  miss  one  of  the 
great  character  enrichings  which  his  parents  had, 
in  that  he  is  in  danger  of  growing  up  entirely 
ignorant  of  the  poetic  setting  of  reUgious  thought 
in  historic  and  dignified  hymns.  The  great 
hymns  have  done  more  for  rehgious  thought  and 
character  than  all  the  sermons  that  have  ever 
been  preached.  Even  in  the  adult  of  the  purely 
intellectual  cast  the  hymn,  aided  by  rhythm,  music, 
repetition,  and  emotion,  is  likely  to  become  a 
more  permanent  part  of  the  mental  substratum 
than  any  formal  logical  presentation  of  ideas. 
How  much  more  will  this  be  the  case  with  the 
child  who  feels  more  than  he  reasons,  who  delights 
in  cadence  and  rhythm,  and  who  loves  a  world  of 
imagery ! 

§  I.      SONG  AND   STORY 

Very  early  life's  ideals  are  presented  in  poetic 
form;  plays,  school-life,  love  of  country,  friend- 
ships, all  take  or  are  given  metric  expression. 
So,  for  children,  hymns  have  a  perfectly  natural 
place.  The  child  sings  as  he  plays,  sings  as  he 
works,  sings  in  school,  and,  as  long  as  life  and 


I02     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

memory  hold,  these  words  of  song  will  be  his  pos- 
session; in  declining  years,  when  eyes  are  failing 
and  other  interests  may  wane,  fragments  of  child- 
hood's songs  and  youth's  poems  will  sing  them- 
selves over  in  his  memory;  while  in  the  years 
between  how  often  will  some  stanza  or  Hne  spring 
into  the  focus  of  thought  just  at  the  moment  when 
it  can  give  brave  and  helpful  direction! 

Those  years  of  facile  memorization  should  be 
hke  the  ant's  summer,  a  period  of  steady  storing  in 
mind  of  the  world's  treasures  of  thought.  No  man 
ever  had  too  many  good  and  beautiful  thoughts 
in  his  memory.  Few  have  failed  to  recall  with 
gratitude  some  apparently  long-forgotten  word  of 
cheer,  light,  and  inspiration  stored  in  childhood. 
The  special  virtue  of  the  hymn,  among  all  poetic 
forms  of  great  thoughts,  is  that  memory  is  strength- 
ened by  the  music  and  the  thought  further  idealized 
by  it,  while  frequent  repetition  fixes  it  the  more 
firmly  and  repetition  in  congregational  song  adds 
the  high  value  of  emotional  association. 

But  what  kinds  of  memory  treasures  are  being 
given  to  the  modern  child  in  the  realm  of  religion  ? 
In  by  far  the  greater  number  of  instances  in  the 
United  States  neither  church  nor  Sunday  school 
nor  home  brings  to  him  any  knowledge  of  the  great 
hymns   of   rehgion.^     In    the    churches    that   use 

'  One  of  the  best  collections  of  suitable  religious  songs  is 
Worship  and  Song.    Pilgrim  Press,  $o .  40. 


The  Child's  Ideal  Life  103 

these  hymns  the  child  fs  frequently  not  in  the 
Sunday  services;  he  is  in  the  children's  service  or 
the  school,  while  in  the  majority  of  churches  a 
weak-minded  endeavor  for  amusement  has  substi- 
tuted meaningless  rag-time  trivialities  for  rich  and 
dignified  hymns.  Perhaps  the  custom  of  encour- 
aging congregations  to  jig,  dance,  cavort,  or  drone 
through  the  frivolities  of  "popular"  gospel  songs 
is  only  a  passing  craze,  but  it  is  a  most  unfortunate 
one;  it  tends  to  divorce  worship  and  thought,  to 
make  worship  a  matter  of  purely  superficial 
emotions,  and  to  form  the  habit  of  expressing 
religion,  the  highest  experience  of  life,  in  language, 
often  irreverent  and  almost  always  trivial,  slangy, 
or  ridiculous.  It  is  an  insult  to  the  intelligence  of 
children  to  ask  them  to  sing 

We're  pilgrims  o'er  the  sands  of  time, 

We  have  not  long  to  stay, 
The  lifeboat  soon  is  coming, 

To  carry  the  pilgrims  away. 

It  is  the  duty  of  parents  to  know  what  their 
children  are  learning  in  the  Sunday  school.  Not 
only  are  they  often  missing  the  opportunity  to  lay 
up  the  treasure  of  elevating,  inspiring  thoughts; 
they  are  acquiring  crude,  mistaken,  misleading 
theological  concepts  in  the  hideous,  revolting 
figures  of  "evangelistic  songs";  they  are  storing 
their  minds  with  atrocities  in  English  and  in  fig- 
ures of  speech;    they  are  acquiring  the  habits  of 


I04     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

sentimentality  in  religion  and  inhibiting  the  finer, 
higher  feelings.  They  are  blunting  their  higher 
feehngs  by  repeating  incongruous  and  nauseating 
figures  of  being  "washed  in  blood,"  or  they  are 
carelessly  singing  sentiments  they  do  not  under- 
stand. 

What  can  the  family  do  about  this?  It  ought 
to  assert  its  rights  in  the  church.  It  ought  to 
protest  and  rebel  against  the  debauching  of  mind 
and  the  degrading  of  religion  (all  for  the  sake  of 
selling  trashy  books  at  $25  per  hundred).  A 
parent  would  do  better  to  keep  his  child  from 
church  and  Sunday  school  than  to  permit  his  mind 
to  be  filled  with  the  sanguinary  pictures  of  God,  the 
mediaeval  theology  of  the  modern  songbook,  and 
its  ofifenses  against  truth  in  thought  and  form. 
But  the  family  can  work  positively  and  more 
effectively  by  providing  good  hymns  for  children 
in  the  home. 

§  2.  training  in  song 

Almost  without  exception  all  children  will  sing 
if  encouraged  early  in  Hfe.  In  the  family  group 
one  has  only  to  start  a  familiar  song  and  soon  all 
will  be  singing.  It  is  just  as  natural  to  sing 
"Abide  with  Me"  when  the  family  sits  together 
in  the  evening  as  it  is  to  start  "My  Alabama 
Choo-choo."  Children  Uke  the  swing  of  "Onward, 
Christian  Soldiers"  just  as  much  as  in  the  northern 


The  Child's  Ideal  Life  105 

states  they  like  "Marching  through  Georgia." 
If  they  do  not  know  the  hymns  the  home  is  the 
best  of  all  places  in  which  to  learn  them. 

A  large  section  of  real  family  life  is  missing  in 
families  that  do  not  sing  together.  A  home  with- 
out song  lacks  one  of  the  strongest  bonds  of 
family  unity,  and  the  after-years  will  be  deprived 
of  a  memory  dear  indeed  to  many  others.  Days 
often  come  when  the  wheels  of  family  life  seem  to 
develop  friction,  when  little  rifts  seem  to  throw 
the  members  far  apart,  but  the  evening  song 
brings  them  together.  The  unity  of  action,  of 
feeling,  the  development  of  emotions  above  the 
day's  irritation  and  strife,  all  help  to  new  joys  in 
family  living. 

We  may  well  think  of  the  fine  songs  and  the 
great  hymns  together.  There  is  no  fixed  wall 
between  "Mine  Eyes  Have  Seen  the  Glory,"  and 
"The  Son  of  God  Goes  Forth,"  nor  between  "My 
Old  Kentucky  Home  "  and  "Jerusalem  the  Golden." 
The  modern  home  has  the  musical  instruments  to 
lead  in  song — though  they  are  not  always  essen- 
tial— and  lacks  only  the  planning  and  forethought 
to  develop  the  joys  of  song.  It  must  provide  the 
thought  that  appHes  the  simpler  forms  of  musi- 
cal expression  to  the  sweetening  and  enriching 
of  Hfe. 

Let  no  one  say,  "My  family  is  not  musical." 
That  simply  means  that  your  family  does  not  take 


io6    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

time  for  music  and  song.  Build  on  the  training  in 
patriotic  and  folk-songs  given  in  the  schools;  sing 
these  same  songs  over  in  the  home  and  then  asso- 
ciate with  the  best  of  them  the  best  of  the  hymns. 
Cultivate  the  habit  of  binding  the  whole  realm  of 
feeling  in  music  together,  the  hyrons  and  the 
songs,  to  make  religion  mean  beauty  and  devotion 
and  to  make  the  finer  sentiments  of  life  truly 
reUgious. 

This  costs  time  and  thought.  Someone  must  plan 
that  the  books  of  songs  and  hymns  are  provided, 
that  the  opportunity  is  given,  and  that  wise, 
unobtrusive  leadership  is  there.  Have  ready 
several  copies  of  the  book  containing  the  best 
hymns.  Think  out  your  plan  of  procedure  in 
advance,  selecting  the  songs,  or  at  least  the  first 
one.  Then  at  the  right  time  simply  begin  to  play 
that  song  and  you  will  scarcely  need  to  invite  the 
children  to  sing  with  you. 

Should  anyone  doubt  whether  children  will 
enjoy  singing  good  hymns,  he  may  purchase  a 
few  records  for  the  phonograph,  for  example,  "O 
Come  All  Ye  Faithful,"  "Hark  the  Herald  Angels 
Sing,"  ''O  Zion  Haste,"  "Holy,  Holy,  Holy," 
"Abide  with  Me."  These  will  suit  those  of  from 
ten  upward;  younger  children  will  enjoy  "Can  a 
Little  Child  Like  Me,"  "Brightly  Gleams  Our 
Banner,"  "Jesus  Loves  Me."  "I  Think  When  I 
Read  That  Sweet  Story,"  and  "For  the  Beauty  of 


The  Child's  Ideal  Life  107 

the  Earth,"  though  they  will  join  gladly  in  the 
other  hymns.  Or,  instead  of  using  the  phonograph, 
sit  down  quietly  at  the  piano  and  play  these  hymns, 
with  just  enough  emphasis  for  the  children  to  catch 
the  rhythm,  and  they  will  soon  be  standing  at 
the  piano  singing  with  you/ 

§  3.      PLAY  ACTIVITY 

The  child  is  a  playing  animal.  Play  is  not  an 
invention  of  the  devil,  designed  to  plague  parents 
and  to  lead  children  to  waste  their  time.  It  is 
nature's  best  method  of  education,  for  when  a 
child  plays  he  is  simply  reaching  forward  in  his 
activities  to  the  realization  of  his  ideals.  Play  is 
idealized  experiences.  There  is  always  a  sig- 
nificance of  wider  and  maturer  experience  in  chil- 
dren's play.  Therefore  the  family  must  find 
space  and  time  and  adaptation  of  organization  to 
the  child's  need  of  spontaneous,  free  activity  in 
play. 

The  special  religious  value  of  play  lies  in  the 
fact  that  the  child  in  his  games  is  experimenting 
with  life,  learning  its  lessons;  especially  is  he 
learning  the  art  of  Hving  with  other  Uves.  It  is  our 
rehgious  duty  to  see  to  it  that  our  children  become 

'  An  excellent  plan  is  worked  out  in  The  Children's  Hour  of 
Story  and  Song  by  Moffat  and  Hidden,  Unitarian  Sunday  School 
Society,  in  which  children's  stories  are  given  and  following  them 
suitable  songs  and  hymns  with  the  music  for  each. 


io8    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

used  to  living  in  society  by  playing  in  social  groups. 
Scarcely  anyone  is  more  to  be  pitied  than  the  lonely 
child  standing  in  the  corner  of  the  playground, 
able  only  to  watch  the  games,  because  parental 
prohibition  has  already  made  him  a  solitary  and 
unsocial  creature. 

The  educational  potencies  of  play  are  so  great 
that  we  dare  not  leave  its  activities  to  chance. 
Parents  must  study  the  power  of  play,  its  psycho- 
logical and  educational  values,  in  order  to  direct 
its  activity  to  the  highest  good. 

The  adequate  care  of  a  child's  play-life  will 
involve,  in  addition  to  the  trained  intelligence  of 
the  parents,  provision  for  space  in  the  house 
and  also  outdoors,  willingness  to  subordinate  our 
peace  and  our  pleasure  to  the  child's  play  at  times, 
a  reasonable  though  not  necessarily  expensive 
provision  of  play  materials,  attention  to  the  char- 
acter of  the  plays  and  playmates.  The  home  will 
not  lose  its  harmony  and  beauty  if  it  is  filled  with 
playing  children.  Its  function  has  to  do  with 
their  development  rather  than  with  the  preserva- 
tion of  chairs. 

I.    References  for  Study 

H.  F.  Cope,  Hymns  You  Ought  to  Know,  Introduction. 
Revell,  $1.50. 

W.  F.  Pratt,  Musical  Ministries.     Revell,  $1.00. 

H.  W.  Hulbert,  The  Church  and  Her  Children,  chap.  x.  Re- 
vell, $1.00. 


The  Child's  Ideal  Life  109 

II.    Further  Reading 

For  a  list  of  great  hymns  see  Hymns  You  Ought  to  Know, 
edited  by  Henry  F.  Cope,  and  mentioned  above.  It 
contains  one  hundred  standard  hymns  with  a  brief 
account  of  each  hymn  and  of  each  author. 

E.  D.  Eaton,  "Hymns  for  Youth,"  Religious  Education, 
December,  191 2,  VII,  509. 

See  report  of  the  Commission  on  Worship  in  the  Sunday 
School,  in  Religious  Education,  October,  19 14. 

Read  especially  the  chapter  on  this  subject  in  H.  H.  Harts- 
home,  Worship  in  the  Sunday  School.  Columbia 
University,  $1.25. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  special  advantages  do  songs  and  hymns  have 
in  their  pedagogical  power? 

2.  What  hymns  do  you  remember  from  childhood  ? 
In  what  way  are  these  hymns  valuable  to  you  ? 

3.  What  changes  would  you  like  to  see  in  the  hymns 
the  children  learn  today  ? 

4.  What  difficulties  do  you  find  in  training  children  to 
sing  in  the  home  ? 

5.  Is  it  worth  while  to  teach  children  to  play?  What 
games  have  special  educational  value  ?  What  games 
have  religious  significance  or  value?  Give  reasons  for 
your  opinions. 


CHAPTER  X 

STORIES  AND  READING 

If  we  would  teach  religion  to  our  children  we 
must  adopt  the  method  of  Jesus;  that  of  telling 
stories.  The  story  has  the  advantage,  first,  of  its 
natural  interest,  and,  then,  of  the  indirect  manner 
of  its  presentation  of  the  truth,  together  with  the 
fact  that  that  truth  is  embodied  in  a  statement  of 
life  and  experience.  Besides,  story-telling  to  any 
person  of  active  interests  is  one  of  the  easiest  and 
most  stimulating  methods  of  teaching. 

§  I.      STORY-TELLING 

So  much  has  already  been  written  on  the  art 
of  telling  stories  that  only  a  few  suggestions  are 
needed  here.  First,  understand  why  you  tell  the 
story.  Normally  a  double  motive  enters  in, 
namely,  the  conveyance  of  truth  in  life,  at  the  same 
time  affording  real  pleasure  to  the  Hsteners. 
Either  motive  alone  will  be  inadequate.  You  can- 
not convey  the  truth  without  the  desire  to  give 
pleasure;  you  cannot  make  the  pleasure  worth 
while  without  the  truth.  But  this  is  the  place  to 
insist  that  the  truth  which  you  desire  to  convey 
must  find  its  way  to  the  conviction  of  the  child 
through  the  story  and  not  through  any  moral  or 
preface  or  particular  statement  which  you  may 


Stories  and  Reading  in 

make.  The  moral  or  lesson  must  be  clear  to  you 
but  carefully  held  in  reserve  to  direct  the  matter 
and  manner  of  the  story. 

Secondly,  be  prepared  to  pay  the  price  of  this 
most  effective  method  of  instruction.  It  will 
cost  the  reservation  of  a  certain  amount  of  time 
both  for  acquiring  the  story  and  for  relating  it. 
It  will  require  careful  thought  and  planning, 
especially  to  be  sure  that  the  story  is  told  in  sym- 
pathy with  the  child's  world.  People  who  are  too 
busy  to  tell  their  children  stories  are,  perhaps  fortu- 
nately, coming  to  realize  that  they  are  too  busy  to 
have  children.  If  it  looks  like  a  waste  of  time  to 
turn  off  the  lights  and  sit  by  the  firehght  for  from 
twenty  to  thirty  minutes,  we  shall  need  to  revise 
our  estimates  of  the  value  of  child-character. 
Nor  must  we  shrink  from  the  investment  of  time 
in  preparation  for  the  narration  of  the  story;  if 
it  is  worth  telHng,  it  is  worth  telUng  well. 

Thirdly,  keep  a  record  of  sources  of  stories. 
This  may  be  preserved  in  a  notebook.  One  parent 
used  a  card-index  for  this  purpose.  There  are  a 
few  books  published  containing  good  collections.^ 

'  Laura  E.  Cragin,  Kindergarten  Bible  Stories.  Fifty-six 
of  the  Old  Testament  stories.  There  is  also  a  companion  volume 
of  New  Testament  stories. 

James  Baldwin,  Old  Stories  of  the  East.  Fresh  and  interesting 
versions  of  the  familiar  Old  Testament  stories. 

Kate  Douglas  Wiggin,  The  Story  Hour.  Good  stories  and  a 
suggestive  introduction  on  story-telling. 

Half  a  Hundred  Stories  for  the  Little  People,  by  various  authors. 


112     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

You  will  find  most  valuable  your  own  little  book 
in  which  you  have  noted  down  the  fugitive  stories 
and  short  selections  which  are  to  be  found  in  general 
Uterature.^ 

Fourthly,  do  not  tell  a  story  so  as  to  close  the 
child's  interest  in  the  narrative.  Stories  ought  to 
lead  to  inquiry  and  further  reading  in  the  book  or 
other  source  from  which  they  have  been  drawn; 
indeed,  story-telling  is  one  excellent  method  of 
quickening  an  interest  in  reading. 

Fifthly,  allow  the  children  to  retell  the  stories 
to  one  another.  Often  the  whole  family  will  be 
entertained  and  helped  by  the  explanation  which 
a  small  child  will  give  of  the  story  he  has  learned 
by  hearing  it  repeated  a  few  times  from  his 
mother's   Ups. 

Sixthly,  telling  Bible  stories  to  children  in  the 
quiet  hour  is  the  best  of  all  methods  to  stimulate 
their  interest  in  the  Bible  itself.  It  is  much  better 
to  tell  the  story  in  your  own  language  than  to  read 
it  either  in  the  Bible  or  in  a  paraphrase.  For  one 
reason,  you  will  never  tell  it  twice  the  same  way, 
and  children  will  watch  with  interest  changes  in 
the  narration.     As  soon  as  they  can  read,  secure 

'  A  List  of  Good  Stories  to  Tell  to  Children  underTwelve  Years  of 
Age,  Carnegie  Library  of  Pittsburgh,  $0.05.  There  are  refer- 
ences to  books  in  which  the  stories  may  be  found,  including  25 
Bible  stories,  16  fables,  14  myths,  14  Christmas  stories,  7  Thanks- 
giving stories,  etc. 


Stories  and  Reading  113 

some  of  the  simple  Bible  narratives  and  put  these 
in  their  hands. ^ 

§  2.      BOOKS   AND   READING 

A  home  without  books  is  like  a  house  with  only 
one  window;  it  can  look  out  in  only  one  direction, 
in  that  of  the  present.  It  knows  only  a  limited 
world;  its  children  have  a  short  measure  of  the  joy 
of  life,  they  can  know  here  only  those  whom  they 
see  today,  their  friends  must  be  few,  their  world 
narrow  and  confined. 

If  the  books  are  not  in  your  home  the  children 
will  find  them  elsewhere.  Unless  the  school  kills 
the  taste  for  reading,  as  it  sometimes  does,  the 
young  folks  will  open  ways  somehow  into  the  ideal 
realm  of  books.  As  they  grow  up,  the  book  takes 
the  place  of  the  story.  The  printed  page  is  the 
child's  key  to  all  routes  of  travel,  routes  that  lead 
to  other  times  and  lands,  routes  that  lead  to  other 
people  and  into  their  hearts  and  minds.  The 
child  sees  conduct  and  feels  it  as  it  is  in  action  in 
lives  before  him,  but  he  begins  to  discriminate  and 
to  analyze  it  only  through  reading;  souls  are 
revealed  where  the  purpose  of  the  writer  is  that 
the  reader  may  see  the  springs  of  action  in  the 
character  portrayed.     Fiction,  biography,  travel, 

'  Such  as  O'Shea,  Old  World  Wonder  Stories;  George  Hodges, 

The  Garden   of  Eden;    Cragin,  Old    Testament  Stories;    Mary 
Stewart,  Tell  Me  a  True  Story. 


114    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

and  adventure  soon  pass  from  the  merely  exterior 
happenings  to  the  discovery  of  meanings  in 
character. 

§  3.      DANGERS    OF   READING 

Since  the  book  needs  only  one  for  its  enjoyment, 
while  the  story  requires  two,  there  is  less  control 
over  reading.  There  is  only  one  way  to  be  sure 
that  children  are  not  devouring  vicious  books  and 
that  is  to  make  sure  that  they  have  an  ample  supply 
of  healthful,  helpful  ones.  This  is  especially  neces- 
sary in  a  day  that  caters  to  sloth  in  reading.  The 
tendency  is  for  reading  to  take  the  facile  decline 
from  book  to  cheap  magazine,  from  magazine  to 
newspaper,  and  from  the  newspaper  to  skimming 
the  headlines  and  the  "funnies."  The  cheap>er 
papers  appeal  to  the  lowest  inteUigence  and  strike 
at  the  line  of  least  moral  and  mental  resistance. 
Reading  enriches  the  life  but  little  and  may  im- 
poverish it  greatly  unless  there  is  developed  the 
habit  of  drawing  on  the  world's  great  treasures  of 
thought  and  feeling.  Open  windows  in  your 
children's  souls  by  giving  them  books;  keep  them 
open  by  encouraging  the  reading  habit.  Great 
souls  wait  for  them,  willing  to  converse  and  become 
their  friends  and  teachers  if  they  will  but  take 
down  these  books  from  the  shelves  and  open  them 
with  an  eager  mind. 


Stories  and  Reading  115 

§  4.  developing  good  taste 
What  can  be  done  to  quicken  a  love  of  good  read- 
ing in  children?  Recognize  that  not  all  children 
develop  this  appetite  at  the  same  age,  that  girls 
read  more  than  boys,  that  boys  usually  have  a 
period  of  decline  in  reading  interest  from  seven- 
teen to  twenty-one  or  even  later.  But  everything 
really  depends  on  whether  we  ourselves  love  good 
books  and  keep  them  on  hand.  One  of  the  Hfe- 
centers  of  a  family  should  be  the  bookshelf,  while 
the  picture  of  the  evening  lamp  and  the  reading 
group  will  constitute  one  of  its  best  memories. 
Where  books  are  at  hand  and  where  they  are  used 
daily,  the  children  need  Httle  urging  to  read.  Now 
this  does  not  mean  that  yards  of  choice  editions 
make  a  book-loving  family.  There  is  a  difference 
between  bindings  and  books.  It  means  books 
known  and  loved,  familiar  friends  for  daily  con- 
verse, books  on  handy  shelves  and  fit  to  be  used  as 
common  food. 

Do  you  know  what  your  children  read?  Do  you 
watch  as  carefully  the  food  of  mind  and  spirit 
as  you  do  that  of  the  body?  Do  you  show  an 
interest  in  the  books  they  plan  to  draw  from 
the  public  Hbrary  ?  Can  you  guide  them  intelli- 
gently when  they  ask  for  suggestions  of  interesting 
books?  Do  you  know  the  healthful,  suitable 
ones? 


ii6    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

§  5.      PROMOTION   OF   THE   READING  INTEREST 

The  Sunday  school  might  aid  greatly  in  pro- 
moting the  habit  of  selecting  and  reading  good 
books.  Children  often  come  home  from  day  school 
clamoring  for  some  book  which  the  teacher  has 
recommended  as  interesting  and  valuable.  The 
Sunday-school  teacher's  recommendation  would 
also  carry  weight.  In  every  church,  whether  there 
exists  a  Sunday-school  library  or  not,  there  ought 
to  be  a  Hbrary  or  book  committee  which  would 
watch  for  the  right  reading  for  the  different  grades 
and  would  cause  the  titles  of  good  books  to  be 
placed  on  a  bulletin  board.  Further,  such  a 
committee  might  very  well  place  a  copy  of  the 
book  selected  in  the  teacher's  hand  in  order  that 
the  teacher  might  call  the  attention  of  the  class 
directly  to  it.  Of  course  the  range  of  selection 
should  be  as  wide  as  the  world  of  books  and  should 
include  fiction,  romance,  song,  and  story.^  Parents 
could  do  the  same  sort  of  thing.  Why  not  talk 
up  the  best  books  we  remember?  As  to  those 
old-time  books,  we  need  to  realize  that  tastes 
change.  Perhaps  they  owed  much  of  their  interest 
to  their  vivid  descriptions  of  contemporary  life. 
Therefore  we  must  commend  the  new  books,  those 
that  belong  to  the  children's  own  days,  too.  This 
can  be  done,  provided  we  really  know  the  books, 

'  The  H.  W.  Wilson  Co.,  White  Plains,  New  York,  publishes 
a  list  of  Children's  Books  for  Sunday-School  Libraries. 


Stories  and  Reading  117 

not  by  saying,  "We  should  like  you  to  read 
Sandford  and  Merton,^'  but  rather,  "There  is  a 
capital  story  in  Captains  Courageous;  have  any 
of  you  read  it?"  Leave  the  matter  there,  or,  at 
most,  go  only  far  enough  to  stimulate  interest. 

I.    References  for  Stxjdy 

St.  John,  Stories  and  Story  Telling,  chaps,  i-v.     Eaton  & 

Mains,  $0.  50. 
Forbush,   The  Coming  Generation,   chap.   viii.     Appleton, 

$1.50. 
Winchester,  "Good  and  Bad  Books  in  the  Home,"  in  The 

Bible  in  Practical  Life,  p.  38.     ReHgious  Education 

Association,  $2.50. 

II.    Further  Reading 

Partridge,.  Story  Telling  in  School  and  Home.     Sturgis  & 

Walton,  $1.25. 
H.  W.  Mabie,  Books  and  Culture.     Dodd,  Mead  &  Co. ,  $1 .  25. 

III.    Methods  and  Materials 

ON    STORY-TELLING 

E.  p.  St.  John,  Stories  and  Story  Telling.     Eaton  &  Mains, 

$0.50. 
Wyche,  Some  Great  Stories  and  Hotv  to  Tell  Them.     Newson 

&  Co.,  $1.00. 
L.  S.  Houghton,  Telling  Bible  Stories.     Scribner,  $1.25. 
Bryant,  How  to  Tell  Stories  for  Children.     Houghton  Mifflin 

Co.,  $1.00. 
E.  M.  and  G.  E.  Partridge,  Story  Telling  in  School  and 

Home.     Sturgis  &  WaUon,  $1.25. 


ii8    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

DIRECTING  children's   READING   IN   THE   HOME 

Macy,  A  Children's  Guide  to  Reading.     Baker  &  Taylor  Co., 

$1.25. 
Field,  Finger  Posts  to  Children's  Reading.     McClurg,  $1 .  00. 
Arnold,  A  Mother's  List  of  Books  for  Children.     McClurg, 

$1 .  00. 
For  a  short  practical  list  see  the  different  lists  classified 

under  Sunday-School  Departments  in  W.  S.  Athearn, 
.     The  Church  School,  particularly  pp.  54,  83,  118,  169. 

Pilgrim  Press,  $1.00. 

IV.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  Do  you  remember  any  stories  which  especially 
impressed  you  as  a  child  ?  What  were  their  qualities  ? 
What  were  the  qualities  of  their  narration  ? 

2.  What  are  your  difficulties  in  story-telling  to  children  ? 

3.  Is  the  habit  of  reading  books  passing  among  chil- 
dren ?     If  so,  what  are  the  reasons  ? 

4.  What  responsibility  has  the  public  library  toward  the 
child's  selection  of  books  ?  toward  promoting  book  reading? 

5.  How  many  families  co-operate  with  the  library? 

6.  How  might  the  church  co-operate  ? 

7.  Does  the  reading  of  newspapers  by  children  affect 
their  general  habits  of  reading  ?     In  what  ways  ? 

8.  What  personal  difference  is  there,  if  any,  between  the 
effect  of  a  borrowed  book  and  of  one  the  child  owns  ? 


CHAPTER  XI 

THE  USE  OF  THE  BIBLE  IN  THE  HOME 

If  we  keep  clearly  in  mind  the  aim  of  religious 
education  in  the  family  as  that  of  the  development 
of  the  lives  of  rehgious  persons,  the  place  and  value 
of  the  Bible  will  be  evident.  It  will  be  used  as  a 
means  of  developing  and  directing  hves.  This  will 
be  quite  different  from  a  perfunctory  use  because 
our  fathers  used  it  or  a  use  under  the  compulsion 
of  the  fear  lest  some  strange  evil  should  befall  us, 
some  visitation  of  an  offended  deity. 

§  I.      THE   child's   need 

Children  need  the  Bible  as  a  part  of  their  social 
heritage.  Just  as  they  get  a  larger  Hfe,  inspired 
and  stimulated  by  the  realization  of  their  con- 
nection with  the  past  of  their  family  and  their 
country,  so  the  Bible  brings  them  into  connection 
with  the  rehgious  history  of  the  race.  General 
history  brings  heroic  forefathers  into  the  stream 
of  consciousness;  we  feel  the  push  of  their  Hves. 
So  the  Bible  reveals  the  stream  farther  back  and 
makes  us  part  of  the  process  of  hfe  in  unity  with 
great  characters  and  great  movements. 

The  child  has  a  right  to  the  Bible  as  his  literary 
heritage.     Here  in  the  Bible  is  the  precipitation  of 

119 


I20    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

the  ideals  of  a  people  unique  in  the  place  which 
religion  held  in  their  lives.  Kere  is  a  literature 
which  is  the  source  of  much  of  the  best  in  the  lan- 
guage and  reading  of  the  child's  life.  Its  phrases 
are  beautiful  and  convenient  embodiments  of  reli- 
gious ideals;  they  will  have  a  steadily  developing 
richness  of  meaning  as  Hfe  opens  out  to  the  child.^ 

§  2.     difficulties 

The  difficulties  in  the  way  of  the  use  of  the 
Bible  in  the  home  are:  the  crowded  programs,  or  a 
lack  of  time  due  to  the  absence  of  any  program  for 
the  days;  a  feeling  of  unnaturalness  in  the  special 
reading  of  this  book;  the  decay  of  the  custom  of 
reading  aloud;  parental  ignorance  of  the  Bible 
and  especially  of  its  beauties  for  the  young;  and 
the  excessive  amount  of  task-reading  frequently 
required  by  the  schools.  The  Sunday  school  also 
sometimes  offends  in  this  respect  by  overemphasis 
on  academic  tasks  for  home  work. 

§  3.      METHODS 

First,  let  parents  use  the  Bible  themselves. 
Use  the  books  as  you  wish  children  to  use  them. 
This  will  be  the  longest  step  you  can  take  toward 
the  solution  of  the  problem. 

Secondly,  use  the  Bible  naturally.  When  chil- 
dren have  an  aversion  to  the  Bible  it  is  due  usually 

'  See  M.  J.  C.  Foster,  The  Mother  the  Child's  First  Bible  Teacher 


Use  of  the  Bible  in  the  Home        121 

to  two  causes:  the  peculiar  place  and  use  of  the 
book  which  makes  it  a  thing  apart  from  life,  and 
often  an  object  of  dread;  and  the  practice  of  using 
it  as  a  task-book,  to  be  opened  only  in  order  to  pre- 
pare Sunday-school  lessons.  Just  as  it  takes  years 
to  overcome  the  aversion  set  up  against  English 
literature  by  its  analytical  study  in  the  schools, 
so  that  the  child  becomes  a  man  before  he  volun- 
tarily reads  Dickens,  Thackeray,  the  poets,  and 
essayists,  in  the  same  manner  we  have  succeeded 
in  making  the  Bible  undesirable  to  youth.  If  you 
read  passages  aloud,  use  the  tone  of  voice  which 
would  be  appropriate  if  this  was  a  new  book  not 
bound  in  leather.  Read  it  for  pleasure  as  one 
would  read  a  literary  masterpiece — not  because 
opinion  might  frown  on  you  if  you  had  not  read 
the  classic.  Does  someone  object  that  that  would 
be  to  degrade  the  Bible  to  the  level  of  secular 
writings?  You  cannot  degrade  a  literature;  it 
makes  its  own  level  and  our  labels  do  not  affect  it. 
Certain  it  is  that  a  pious  tone  of  voice  v/ill  not  pro- 
tect the  Bible  from  the  secular  level.  But  to  use 
it  unnaturally  will  degrade  it  in  the  opinion  of  those 
who  hear  us. 

Thirdly,  make  its  use  a  pleasure.  All  children 
enjoy  story-telling  and  listening  to  reading.  Many 
parents  practice  the  children's  hour,  some  period 
in  the  day  when  they  will,  alone  with  the  children, 
read  and  talk  with  them.     Let  the  Bible  story  be 


122     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

the  reward  of  a  good  day,  something  promised  as  an 
incentive  to  good  behavior.  Children  delight,  not 
alone  in  the  story  itself,  but  in  rhythmic  passages, 
in  the  poetic  flights  of  Isaiah  and  the  beautiful 
imagery  of  the  Psalms.  To  them  it  is  natural  and 
pleasant  to  think  of  the  hills  that  skipped  and  the 
stars  that  sang  and  the  trees  that  gave  forth  praise. 
They  know  the  song  of  nature  and  are  happy  to 
find  it  put  into  words. 

Fourthly,  use  the  Bible  as  a  book  of  life.  How 
many  times  a  day  do  questions  of  conduct  arise  in 
the  family!  How  often  do  children  ask  what  is 
right,  and  freely  discuss  the  question!  Here  is  a 
book  rich  in  precept  and  example  on  at  least  many 
of  the  questions.  There  are  pictures  of  actual  Kves 
meeting  real  temptations;  there  are  the  epigram- 
matic precepts  of  Proverbs  and  of  the  teachings  of 
Jesus.  Call  attention  to  them,  not  as  settling  the 
question  out  of  hand,  but  as  testimony  to  the 
point.  Accustom  children  to  getting  the  light  of 
the  Bible  on  their  Uves,  remembering  that  this 
book  is  a  Ught  and  not  a  fence  nor  a  code  of 
laws. 

Fifthly,  use  the  Bible  in  worship.  This  does 
not  conflict  with  the  plea  for  its  use  naturally,  for 
worship  should  be  as  natural  as  any  of  the  social 
pleasures  of  the  family.  Here  select  those  passages 
for  reading  which  count  most  for  the  spirit  of  wor- 
ship.    It  is  a  good  plan  to  read  a  short  passage, 


Use  of  the  Bible  in  the  Home        123 

suitable  for  memorizing,  so  frequently  that  children 
learn  it  and  are  able  to  repeat  it  in  concert.  Be 
sure  that  all  the  passages  read  or  recited  are  short. 
It  will  often  be  wise  to  preface  the  reading  with 
a  brief  account  of  its  original  circumstances,  so 
that  all  may  hear  the  words  as  the  actual  utter- 
ances of  a  real  man  Hving  in  real  life. 

Sixthly,  provide  material  which  helps  to  make 
the  Bible  interesting,  and  which  helps  children  to 
see  its  pictures  through  the  eyes  of  geography  and 
history.* 

Seventhly,  make  the  use  of  the  Bible  possible 
at  all  times  for  all.  See  that  as  soon  as  the  child 
can  read  he  has  his  own  Bible,  that  it  is  in  large, 
readable  type,  as  much  like  any  other  book  as 
possible.  It  is  no  evidence  of  grace  to  ruin  the 
eyes  over  diamond-text  Bibles.  If  possible,  also 
provide  separate  books  of  the  Bible,  in  modern 
literary  form  and  some  in  the  idiom  of  our  day.^ 

§  4.      DOUBTFUL   methods 

It  is  doubtful  whether  good  comes  from  the  use 
of  the  Bible  as  a  riddle-book,  nor  do  the  "Bible 
games"  tend  to  develop  a  natural  appreciation  of 

'  Mackie,  Bible  Manners  and  Customs. 
Chamberlin,  Introduction  to  the  Bible  for  Teachers  of  Children. 
Worcester,  On  Holy  Ground,  2  vols. 
^  For  example,  Moulton,  Modern  Reader^s  Bible.     The  new 
Jewish  renderings  of  Old  Testament  books  are  good,  especially 
the  Psalms. 


124    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

the  book.  There  is  no  new  light  but  rather  a  con- 
fusing shadow  thrown  on  the  character  of  Joseph 
by  the  foolish  conundrum  concerning  Pharaoh 
making  a  ruler  out  of  him.  Sending  a  child  to  the 
Bible  to  discover  the  shortest  verse,  the  longest, 
the  middle  one,  etc.,  trains  him  to  regard  it  as  an 
odd  kind  of  book,  to  think  of  it  as  a  dictionary,  and 
to  use  it  less. 

We  assume  too  readily  that  a  knowledge  of  the 
separate  details  of  biblical  information,  such  as 
the  date  of  the  Flood,  the  age  of  Methuselah,  the 
names  of  the  twelve  tribes,  the  twelve  apostles,  the 
books  of  the  two  Testaments,  is  the  desired  end. 
But  one  might  know  all  these  things  and  many 
more  and  be  not  one  whit  the  better.  For  the 
child  surely  the  desirable  end  is  that  he  may  feel 
deeply  the  attractiveness  of  the  character  of 
Joseph  or  of  Jesus,  may  say  within  himself,  "What 
a  fine  man;  I  want  to  be  like  him."  Be  sure 
the  persons  are  real,  that  you  see  them  living 
their  lives  in  their  times,  just  as  you  live  your 
life  now. 

I.    References  for  Study 

T.  G.  Soares,  "Making  the  Bible  Real  to  Boys,"  in  Boy 
Training,  pp.  117-40.     Association  Press,  $0.75. 

W.  T.  Lhamon,  "Bible  in  the  Home,"  Religious  Education, 
December,  191 2,  p.  486. 

G.  Hodges,  Training  of  Children  in  Religion,  chap.  x. 
Appleton,  $1 .  50. 


Use  of  the  Bible  in  the  Home        125 

II.    Further  Reading 

The  Bible  in  Practical  Life.  Religious  Education  Associa- 
tion. Numerous  references  to  the  use  of  the  Bible  in 
the  home  in  this  volume. 

Patterson  Dubois,  The  Natural  Way,  sec.  iv.     Revell,  $1.25. 

III.    Methods  and  Materials 

"Passages  of  Bible  for  Memorization,"  Religious  Education, 

August,  1906. 
Louise  S.  Houghton,  Telling  Bible  Stories.     Scribner,  $1.25. 
Johnson,  The  Narrative  Bible.     Baker  8i  Taylor  Co.,  $1 .  50. 
Hall  and  Wood,  The  Bible  Story,  5  vols.     King,  $2.00  by 

subscription. 
Courtney,  The  Literary  Man's  Bible.     Crowell,  $1.  25. 
The  above  are  but  a  few  of  the  many  collections  of  biblical 

material. 

IV.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  are  the  conditions  which  seem  to  make  the 
reading  of  the  Bible  different  from  other  reading?  Is 
there  a  sense  of  unreality  about  it  as  a  book  ?  WTiat  are 
the  causes  ? 

2.  Tiy  the  experiment  of  reading  the  story  of  Joseph  at 
one  sitting.     Try  to  retell  this  to  children. 

3.  What  biblical  material  stands  out  in  your  memory  of 
childhood?  In  what  degree  is  this  due  to  the  art  of  the 
story-teller  or  the  reader  ?  to  the  character  of  the  material  ? 


CHAPTER  XII 

FAMILY  WORSHIP 

Family  worship  has  declined  until,  at  least  in 
the  United  States,  the  percentage  of  families 
practicing  daily  worship  in  the  home  is  so  small 
as  to  be  negligible.  If  this  meant  that  a  general 
institution  of  reHgion  had  passed  out  of  existence 
the  fact  would  be  highly  significant.  But  it  is  well 
to  remember  that  family  worship  has  never  been 
a  general  institution.  We  have  generahzed  the 
picture  of  the  "Cotter's  Saturday  Night"  so  elo- 
quently drawn  by  Burns;  it  has  been  applied  to 
every  night  and  to  every  fireside.  Daily  family 
worship  was  observed  in  practically  all  the  Puritan 
homes  of  New  England;  but  there  is  no  evidence 
for  it  as  a  uniform  custom,  either  in  other  parts  of 
this  country  or  in  other  parts  of  the  world,  save 
perhaps  in  sections  of  Scotland.  True,  there  were 
many  f amiHes  which  observed  the  custom ;  but  there 
were  also  many  families  of  church  members  and 
doubtless  of  truly  rehgious  people  in  which  family 
worship  as  a  regular  institution  was  unknown. 
This  has  been  especially  true  in  the  t3q)e  of  family 
life  which  has  developed  under  modern  social  con- 
ditions. Further,  even  so  simple  an  exercise  as 
grace  at  meals  has  not  always  been  a  general  custom. 
126 


Family  Worship  127 

§  i.    past  customs 

But  the  fact  today  is  that  family  worship  is  so 
rare  as  to  be  counted  phenomenal  wherever  found. 
The  instances,  though  not  general,  were  common 
a  generation  ago.  Many  are  Hving  to  whom  family 
worship  afforded  the  largest  part  of  their  conscious 
and  formal  religious  education.  Following  the 
morning  meal,  or,  occasionally,  the  evening  meal, 
the  family  waited  while  the  father,  or  the  mother 
in  his  absence,  read  a  portion  of  the  Scriptures  and 
offered  prayer.  In  other  families  the  act  of  wor- 
ship would  be  the  closing  one  of  the  day,  perhaps 
participated  in  by  the  older  members  only,  the 
younger  children  having  repeated  their  prayers  at 
bedside  on  retiring.  A  thousand  happy  and  sacred 
associations  gather  about  the  memories  of  these 
occasions:  the  sense  of  reverence,  the  feeling  that 
the  home  was  a  sacred  place,  the  impression  of 
noble  words  and  elevating  thoughts,  the  reflex 
influence  of  the  prayer  that  committed  all  to  the 
keeping  and  guidance  of  God.^ 

§2.      WHY   FAMILY   WORSHIP? 

Parents  need  to  see  the  values  in  family  worship. 
We  have  been  insisting  on  the  primary  importance 
of  the  religious  interpretation  of  the  family  as  an 

'  For  a  study  of  children's  worship  see  H.  H.  Hartshome, 
Worship  in  the  Smtday  School;  "Report  of  Commission  on 
Graded  Worship,"  Religious  Education,  October,  1914. 


128    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

institution,  on  the  power  of  the  religious  motive, 
and  the  atmosphere  of  religion.  But  wherever 
there  is  a  truly  religious  motive  and  a  permanent 
religious  atmosphere  these  will  find  definite  expres- 
sion in  acts  easily  recognized  as  religious.  Love 
is  the  motive  and  atmosphere  of  the  true  home,  but 
love  blossoms  into  words  and  bears  fruit  in  a  thou- 
sand deeds.  The  life  of  love  dies  without  reality 
in  act.  Ideals  are  precipitated  in  expressive  acts. 
So  is  it  with  religion  in  the  home ;  it  must  not  only 
be  real  in  its  sincerity,  it  must  be  reahzed,  must 
pass  over  into  conduct  and  action,  as  suggested 
above  in  chaps,  vii  and  viii.  And  it  must  do  this 
in  ways  so  sharply  defined  and  readily  recognized 
as  to  leave  no  doubt  as  to  their  meaning.  True, 
all  acts  may  be  religious  and  thus  full  of  worship — 
this  is  most  important  of  all— but  worship  expressly 
unites  all  such  acts  in  a  spirit  of  loyalty  and  aspi- 
ration. 

Worship  is  a  necessity  for  the  sake  of  the  ideal 
unity  of  the  family  life.  Just  as  the  individual 
must  not  only  feel  the  religious  emotion  but  must 
also  do  the  thing  called  for,  so  must  this  united 
personality  of  the  family  give  expression  to  its 
faith  and  aspiration,  its  motives  and  emotions,  in 
such  a  manner  that,  acting  as  a  social  unit,  all  can 
together  put  the  inner  life  into  the  outer  form. 
The  social  value  of  family  worship  is  the  strongest 
reason  for  its  maintenance.     It  is  the  united  act 


Family  Worship  129 

of  the  family  group,  the  one  in  which  group  con- 
sciousness is  expressly  directed  to  the  highest 
possible  aims.  Every  period  of  worship  brings  the 
family  into  unity  at  an  ideal  level. 

The  expression  of  rehgion  in  definite  forms  is 
necessary  for  children,  too,  as  furnishing  a  means 
by  which  they  can  manifest  their  feeling  of  the 
higher  meaning  of  family  life.  The  reality  of  that 
feeling  is  stimulated  in  the  daily,  common  life  of 
the  right  family;  the  hour  of  worship  is  one  out  of 
many  definite  forms  of  its  concrete  expression.  It 
is  the  form  which  gathers  up  the  totahty  of  feeling 
and  aspiration  into  an  act  of  worship  and  praise 
toward  God,  the  Father  of  all  families.  It  is  evi- 
dent there  cannot  be  true  worship  in  the  family 
that  is  irreligious  in  its  essential  qualities,  in  its 
character,  in  its  ideals  and  atmosphere. 

§  3.      ADVANTAGES 

The  period  of  worship  is  a  necessity  in  inter- 
preting to  all  the  spirit  and  meaning  of  a  religious 
family.  It  objectifies  the  inner  hfe.  It  makes 
definite,  tangible,  and  easily  remembered  the 
general  impressions  of  religion.  It  precipitates  the 
atmosphere  of  religion  into  definiteness.  In  the 
chemical  laboratory  of  a  university  there  is  usually 
a  decided  atmosphere  of  chemistry,  but  no  one 
expects  to  become  a  chemical  engineer  by  absorb- 
ing that  atmosphere,  nor  even  to  attain  a  simple 


130    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

working  knowledge  by  merely  general  impressions. 
Definiteness  aids  in  gathering  up  our  knowledge, 
our  impressions. 

The  reading  of  the  Bible  in  the  home  will  give, 
when  the  passages  are  wisely  chosen,  forms  of 
language  into  which  the  often  chaotic  but  never- 
theless valuable  and  potential  emotions  of  youth 
fall  as  into  a  beautiful  mold;  they  become  remem- 
bered forms  of  beauty  thereafter. 

Family  worship  furnishes  opportunity  for  direct 
religious  instruction.  When  the  home  Ufe  has  its 
regular  institution,  as  regular  as  meals  and  play, 
the  formahty,  the  apparent  abnormality  of  con- 
versation about  religion,  is  absent.  Children 
expect  and  look  forward  to  the  period  when  the 
family  will  lay  other  things  aside  to  think  on  the 
eternal  values.  Their  questions  in  the  breathing- 
space  that  always  ought  to  follow  worship  become 
perfectly  natural  and  sincere. 

Family  worship  lifts  the  whole  level  of  family 
Hfe.  Ideally  conceived,  it  simply  means  the  family 
unity  consciously  coming  into  its  highest  place. 
Children  may  not  understand  all  the  reading  nor 
enter  into  the  motives  for  all  parts  of  the  petition, 
but  they  do  feel  that  this  moment  is  the  one  in 
which  the  family  enters  a  holy  place.  They  feel 
that  God  is  real  and  that  their  family  Hfe  is  a  part 
of  his  whole  care  and  of  his  life.  One  short  period 
of   natural    reverence    sends    light   and   cahn    all 


Family  Worship  131 

through  the  day.  Where  the  home  is  the  place 
where  true  prayer  is  offered,  the  family  is  the  group 
which  meets  in  an  act  of  worship;  here  and  into 
this  group  there  cannot  easily  enter  strife,  bicker- 
ings, or  baseness.  One  short  period,  five  minutes 
or  even  less,  of  quietness,  of  united  turning  toward 
the  eternal,  gives  tone  to  the  day  and  finer  atmos- 
phere to  the  home. 

What  our  community  life  might  be  like  without 
the  churches,  faulty  or  incompetent  as  we  may 
know  some  of  them  to  be,  what  that  Ufe  would 
lose  and  miss  without  them  is  precisely,  and  per- 
haps in  larger  degree,  what  the  family  life  misses 
without  its  own  institution  of  regular  devotion 
and  worship. 

V 
§  4.      THE   DIFFICULTIES 

We  can  always  afford  to  do  that  which  is  most 
worth  while  doing;  our  essential  difficulty  is  to  shake 
off  the  delusion  of  the  lesser  values,  the  lower 
prizes,  to  realize  that,  of  all  the  good  of  life,  the 
characters  of  our  children,  the  gain  we  can  all 
make  in  the  eternal  values  of  the  spirit,  in  love  and 
joy  and  truth  and  goodness,  is  the  gain  most  worth 
while.  We  tend  to  set  the  making  of  a  living 
before  the  making  of  lives.  We  need  to  see  the 
development  of  the  powers  of  personality,  the 
riches  of  character,  as  the  ultimate,  dominant 
purpose  of  all  being.     Once  grasp  that,  and  hold 


132     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

to  it,  and  we  shall  not  allow  lesser  considerations, 
such  as  the  pressure  of  business,  the  desire  for  gain, 
for  ease,  for  pleasure,  for  social  life,  to  come  before 
this  first  and  highest  good;  we  shall  make  time 
for  definite  conscious  religion  in  the  life  of  the 
family.* 

§  5.      TYPES   OP   worship 

There  are  three  simple  forms  which  worship 
takes  in  the  family :  first,  grace  offered  at  the  meals ; 
secondly,  the  prayers  of  children  on  retiring  and, 
occasionally,  on  rising;  thirdly,  the  daily  gather- 
ing of  the  family  for  an  act  of  the  spirit.  The  state- 
ment of  the  three  forms  reads  so  as  to  give  them 
a  formal  character,  but  the  most  important  point 
to  remember  is  that  wherever  they  are  true  acts  of 
worship  they  are  formal  only  in  that  they  occur 
at  definite,  determined  times  and  places.  The 
acts  have  no  merit  in  themselves.  Merely  to 
institute  their  observance  will  not  secure  religious 
feeling  and  Ufe  in  the  home.  These  three  observ- 
ances have  arisen  because  at  these  times  there  is 
the  best  and  most  natural  opportunity  for  the 
expression  of  aspiration,  desire,  and  feeling. 

'"Parents  who  give  up  such  a  practice  as  family  prayers 
mainly  because  they  know  of  many  other  people  who  have  done 
the  same  are  just  as  much  the  slaves  of  public  opinion  and 
ignorant  cant  as  the  narrowest  Lowlander  who  forbids  his  chil- 
dren secular  history  on  Sunday." — Lyttleton,  Corner-Stone  of 
Education,  pp.  207-8. 


Family  Worship  133 

§  6.  methods  of  family  worship 
I.  Grace  at  meals. — Shall  we  say  grace  at  meals  ? 
To  assent  because  it  is  the  custom,  or  because  it  was 
so  done  in  our  childhood's  home,  may  make  an 
irreligious  mockery  of  the  act.  Perhaps,  too,  there 
are  some  who  even  hesitate  to  omit  the  grace  from 
an  unspoken  fear  that  the  food  might  harm  them 
without  it.  All  have  heard  grace  so  muttered,  or 
hurriedly  and  carelessly  spoken,  void  of  all  feeling 
and  thought,  that  the  act  was  almost  unconscious, 
a  species  of  "vain  repetition." 

There  are  two  outstanding  aspects  of  the  asking 
of  a  blessing — the  desire  to  express  gratitude  for 
the  common  benefits  of  life,  and  the  expression  of 
a  wish,  with  the  recognition  of  its  realization,  that 
at  each  meal  the  family  group  might  include  the 
Unseen  Guest,  the  Infinite  Spirit  of  God.  That 
wish  lifts  the  meal  above  the  dull  level  of  satisfying 
appetites.  Just  as,  in  good  society,  we  seek  to 
make  the  meal  much  more  than  an  eating  of  food, 
"a  feast  of  reason  and  a  flow  of  soul,"  so  does  this 
act  make  each  meal  a  social  occasion  lifted  toward 
the  spiritual.  The  one  thought  at  the  beginning, 
the  thought  of  the  reahty  of  the  presence  of  God, 
and  of  the  nearness  of  the  divine  to  us  in  our  daily- 
pleasures,  gives  a  new  level  to  all  our  thinking. 

How  shall  we  say  grace,  or  ''ask  a  blessing"  ? 
First,  with  simphcity  and  sincerity.  Avoid  long, 
elaborate,  ornate  phrases.     It  is  better  to  err  in 


134    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

rhetoric  than  in  feeling  and  reality.     The  sonorous 

grace  may  soon  become  stilted  and  offensive.     It 

is  better  to  say  in  your  own  words  just  what  you 

mean,  for  that  will  help  all,  even  to  the  youngest, 

to  mean  what  they  say  with  you. 

Vary  the  form  of  petition.     Sometimes  let  it  be 

the  silent  grace  of  the  Quakers ;  sometimes  children 

will  enjoy  singing  one  of  the  old  four-line  stanzas,  as 

Be  present  at  our  table,  Lord, 
Be  here  and  every^vhere  adored; 
These  mercies  bless  and  grant  that  we 
May  feast  m  Paradise  with  thee. 

One  might  use  the  first  three  of  the  following 

lines  for  breakfast  and  the  last  three  at  another 

meal: 

For  the  new  morning  with  its  light, 
For  rest  and  shelter  of  the  night. 
We  thank  the  heavenly  Father. 

For  rest  and  food,  for  love  and  friends, 
For  everything  his  goodness  sends, 
We  thank  the  heavenly  Father.' 
or 

When  early  in  the  morning  the  birds  lift  up  their  songs. 
We  bring  our  praise  to  Jesus  to  whom  all  praise  belongs. 

One  especially  needs  to  guard  against  the  purely 
dietetic  grace,  the  one  that  only  asks  that  the  deity 
will  aid  digestion,  as  that  form  so  often  heard,  ■ 
"Bless  these  mercies  to  our  use."^ 

'  Quoted  by  W.  S.  Athearn,  The  Church  School. 

'A  number  of  good  poems  are  given  in  A.  R.  Wells,  Grace 

before  Meat. 


Family  Worship  135 

Should  we  say  grace  on  all  occasions  of  meals  ? 
What  shall  we  do  at  the  social  dinner  in  the  home  ? 
The  answer  depends  on  the  purpose  of  the  grace. 
Is  it  not  that  in  our  own  group  we  may  have  the 
consciousness  of  the  presence  of  God  ?  When  the 
meal  is  that  of  our  own  group  with  a  friend  or  two, 
we  bring  the  friends  into  the  group  and  the  act  of 
family  worship  is  maintained.  Usually  this  is  the 
case.  So  it  will  be  when  the  group  is  entirely  at 
one  in  this  desire:  the  asking  of  grace  will  be  per- 
fectly natural.  But  when  the  group  is  a  large  one, 
when  the  sense  of  family  unity  is  lost,  or  when  the 
observance  would  seem  unnatural,  it  is  better  to 
omit  it.  Grace  in  large  gatherings  often  seems  an 
uncovering  of  the  sacred  aspects  of  the  home  life. 

2.  Bedtime  prayers. — What  of  children's  bed- 
time prayers?  Many  can  remember  them.  To 
many  the  most  natural,  helpful  time  for  formal 
periods  of  prayer  is  in  the  quiet  of  the  bedroom  just 
before  retiring.  But  there  is  a  grave  danger  in 
establishing  a  regular  custom  of  bedside  prayers  for 
children,  a  danger  manifest  in  the  very  form  of 
certain  of  these  prayers,  as 

Now  I  lay  me  down  to  sleep, 
I  pray  the  Lord  my  soul  to  keep. 

It  is  as  though  the  child  were  saying,  "The  day  is 
ended  during  which  I  have  been  able  to  take  care  of 
myself,  the  hours  of  helpless  sleep  begin,  and  I  ask 
God  to  take  care  of  me  through  the  terrors  of  the 


136     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

night."  For  some  children,  at  least,  the  night  has 
been  made  terrible  by  that  thought;  they  have  been 
led  to  feel  that  the  day  was  safe  and  beautiful,  but 
that  the  night  was  so  dangerous  and  fearful  that 
only  the  great  God  could  keep  them  through  it, 
and  it  was  an  open  question  whether  their  prayer 
for  that  keeping  would  be  heard. 

One  must  avoid  also  the  notion  that  such  prayers 
are  part  of  a  price  paid,  a  system  of  daily  taxation 
in  return  for  which  heaven  furnishes  us  police 
protection. 

The  best  plan  seems  to  be  to  encourage  children 
to  pray,  to  estabhsh  in  them  the  habit  of  closing 
the  day  with  quiet,  grateful  thoughts,  to  watch 
especially  that  the  prayers  learned  in  early  Hfe  do 
not  distort  the  child's  thoughts  of  God,  and  to  make 
the  evening  prayer  an  opportunity  for  the  child  to 
express  his  desires  to  God  his  Father  and  Friend. 
Having  done  this,  as  the  children  grow  up  it  is  best 
to  leave  them  free  to  pray  when  and  where  they 
will.  One  may  properly  encourage  the  evening, 
private  prayer;  but  the  child  ought  to  have  the 
feeling  that  it  is  not  obligatory,  that  it  must  grow 
out  of  his  desire  to  talk  with  God,  and,  above  all, 
that  it  has  no  special  connection  with  the  hour  and 
act  of  retiring  for  sleep  but  rather,  so  far  as  time  is 
concerned,  with  the  closing  of  the  day.  Mothers 
must  see  far  beyond  the  charm  of  the  picture  formed 
by  the  Httle  white-robed  figure  at  her  knee.     There 


Family  Worship  137 

is  no  hour  so  rich  in  possibilities  for  this  growing 
life.  It  is  one  of  the  great  opportunities  to  guide 
its  consciousness  of  God.* 

3.  General  fafnily  prayers. — It  is  true  that,  in 
many  homes,  under  modern  conditions  of  business, 
it  is  amost  impossible  for  the  family  to  be  united 
at  the  hour  when  worship  used  to  be  customary, 
followmg  breakfast.  However,  that  is  not  the 
only  hour  available.  In  many  respects  it  is  a  poor 
one  for  the  purpose  of  social  worship;  it  lacks  the 
sense  of  leisure.  But  there  are  few  families  where 
the  members  do  not  all  gather  for  the  evening  meal. 
It  is  not  difficult  to  plan  at  its  close  for  ten  minutes 
in  which  all  shall  remain.  Without  leaving  the 
table  it  is  possible  to  spend  a  short  time  in  united, 
social  worship.  Or,  by  estabhshing  the  custom  and 
steadily  following  it,  it  is  possible  to  leave  the  table 
and  in  less  than  ten  minutes  find  ample  time  for 
worship  in  another  room. 

Really  everything  depends  at  first  on  how  much 
we  desire  to  have  family  worship,  whether  we  see 
its  beauty  and  value  in  the  knitting  of  home  ties, 
in  the  elevation  of  the  family  spirit,  and  in  the 
quickening  of  the  religious  ideas.  We  find  time 
to  eat  simply  because  we  must;  when  the  necessity 
of  the  spirit  is  upon  us  we  shall  find  time  also  to 
worship  and  to  pray. 

'  W.  B.  Forbush  gives  a  number  of  poetic  forms  of  prayer  for 
children  in  The  Religious  Nurture  of  a  Little  Child,  pp.  12,  13. 


138    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

Next  to  the  will  to  make  time  comes  the  question 
of  method.  First,  determine  to  be  simple,  natural, 
and  informal.  A  stilted  exercise  soon  becomes  a 
burden  and  a  source  of  pain  to  all.  In  whatever 
you  do,  seek  to  make  it  possible  for  all  to  have  a 
share  by  seeing  that  every  thought  is  expressed 
within  the  intelligence  of  even  the  younger  mem- 
bers, that  is,  of  those  who  desire  to  have  a  share. 
This  does  not  mean  descending  to  "baby-talk." 
Just  read  the  Twenty- third  Psalm;  that  is  not 
baby  talk,  but  a  child  of  seven  can  understand 
what  is  meant  up  to  the  measure  of  his  experience ; 
the  language  is  essentially  simple  though  the  ideas 
are  sublime. 

Secondly,  insure  brevity.  For  that  part  of  wor- 
ship in  which  all  are  expected  regularly  to  unite, 
ten  minutes  should  be  ample.  Some  excellent  pro- 
grams will  not  take  more  than  half  this  time. 
Family  worship  is  not  a  diminutive  facsimile  of 
church  worship.  Doubtless  the  experiment  has 
failed  in  many  families  because  the  father  has 
attempted  to  preach  to  a  congregation  which  could 
not  escape.  Keep  in  mind  the  thought  that  this 
is  to  be  a  high  moment  in  each  day  in  which  every 
member  will  have  an  equal  share. 

Thirdly,  plan  for  the  largest  possible  amount  of 
common  participation.  This  is  to  be  the  expression 
of  the  unity  of  the  family  life.  Children  enjoy 
doing  things  co-operatively  and  in  concert. 


Family  Worship  139 

Fourthly,  treat  the  occasion  naturally  in  rela- 
tion to  other  affairs.  Proceed  to  the  worship 
without  formal  notice,  without  change  of  voice, 
and  without  apology  to  visitors.  Take  this  for 
granted.  At  the  close  move  on  into  other  duties 
without  the  sense  of  coming  back  into  the  world. 
You  have  not  been  out  of  it;  you  have  only  recog- 
nized the  eternal  life  and  love  everywhere  in  it. 

4.  Suggestions  of  plans. — There  are  given  below 
seven  outlines  of  plans  of  worship.  They  are  plans 
which  have  been  in  use  and  have  been  tried  for 
years.  Their  only  merit  is  simplicity  and  practi- 
cabiHty;  but  they  are  at  least  worthy  of  trial. 
There  is  no  special  significance  in  the  arrangement 
of  the  days  and  this  may  be  changed  in  any  way 
desirable.  Further,  all  plans  should  be  elastic; 
there  will  come  special  days,  such  as  festivals  and 
birthdays,  when  the  program  should  be  varied. 
For  example,  on  a  birthday  the  child  whose  anni- 
versary then  occurs  should  have  the  privilege  of 
making  the  choice  of  recitation  or  reading  or  of 
determining  the  order  of  all  the  parts  of  this  brief 
period  of  worship. 

MONDAY 

1.  A  short  psalm  repeated  in  concert. 

2.  A  brief,  informal  petition  by  father  or  mother. 

3.  The  Lord's  Prayer,  in  which  all  join. 

Before  attempting  even  this  simple  plan,  prepare  for  it 
by  first  selecting  several  suitable  psalms.    The  following 


140    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

should  be  included:  the  ist,  19th,  23d,  24th,  looth,  117th, 
i2ist,  and  a  part  of  the  103d.  You  would  do  well  to  mem- 
orize one  of  these  yourself,  so  as  to  be  able  to  lead  without 
reading  from  the  book.  Next,  think  over  with  some  care 
the  things  for  which  you  may  pray,  the  aspirations  which 
your  children  can  share  with  you.  Few  things  are  more 
difl&cult  than  this,  so  to  pray  that  all  can  make  the  prayer 
their  own.  Let  it  also  be  a  prayer  of  love  and  joy,  not 
a  craven  begging  off  from  punishments,  nor  a  cowardly 
plea  for  protection  and  provision.  We  can  pray  over  all 
these  things  with  gratitude  and  with  confidence  toward  the 
God  of  love.  Do  not  try  to  preach  in  your  prayers.  Many 
prayers  have  been  ruined  by  preaching,  just  as  some  preach- 
ing has  been  spoiled  by  praying  to  the  people.  Usually 
four  or  five  sentences  will  do  for  the  one  day.  Better 
a  single  thought  simply  expressed  than  the  most  brilliant 
attempt  to  inform  the  Almighty  on  all  the  events  of  the  world 
that  day. 

A  prayer  in  which  all  can  join  is  always  desirable.  The 
Lord's  Prayer  never  wearies  us  nor  grows  old.  Children 
enter  into  it  with  some  new  meaning  every  day;  it  covers 
all  our  great,  common,  daUy  needs. 

TUESDAY 

1.  A  few  favorite  memory  verses  repeated  by  all  (from 
either  the  Bible  or  other  literature). 

2.  Read  a  very  brief  passage  from  the  Bible. 

3.  Prayer,  ending  with  the  Lord's  Prayer. 

Many  excellent  selections  will  be  found  in  Dr.  Dole's 
book  mentioned  at  the  end  of  this  chapter.  Encourage 
children,  however,  to  make  their  selections  from  the  poems 
and  passages  they  already  know. 

The  passage  of  the  Bible  selected  to  be  read  should  be 
one  which  first  of  all  incites  to  worship,  and  should  be  chosen 


Family  Worship  141 

for  its  inspiration  and  literary  beauty.  A  few  lines  from 
the  great  chapters  of  Isaiah  (e.g.,  chaps.  35  and  55),  from 
the  Psalms  (e.g.,  Pss.  61,  65,  145),  from  the  Sermon  on  the 
Mount,  from  I  Cor.,  chap.  13,  from  the  parables  of  Jesus, 
will  be  suitable. 

The  closing  prayer  may  be  extemporaneous  or  may  be 
read  from  one  of  the  books  of  prayers.  Many  of  the  prayers 
in  the  Episcopal  Prayer  Book  are  especially  beautiful  and 
quite  suitable.  Of  course  in  families  of  the  Episcopal 
church  the  collect  for  the  day  would  be  the  right  prayer  to 
use.  It  is  sometimes  necessary  to  use  prayers  prepared 
beforehand;  some  persons  never  acquire  the  ability  to  pray 
aloud,  even  in  their  own  families.  But  halting  sentences 
that  are  your  own,  that  your  children  recognize  as  yours, 
may  mean  more  to  them  than  the  finest  flowing  phrases 
from  a  book.  Use  the  prayers  from  the  book,  not  as  a 
substitute,  but  as  an  addition. 

WEDNESDAY 

1.  A  good  poem  from  general  literature. 

2.  Prayer. 

There  are  so  many  good  collections  of  the  great  and 
inspiring  poems  that  one  hesitates  to  recommend  any  col- 
lection. Remember  that  a  poem  may  be  religious  and 
imbued  with  the  spirit  of  worship,  helpful  to  the  purpose 
of  this  occasion,  even  though  it  contains  no  allusions  to 
Scripture  and  makes  no  direct  references  to  religious  belief. 
"A  House  by  the  Side  of  the  Road"^  is  thoroughly  human, 
popular,  and  could  not  even  be  accused  of  being  a  classic; 
but  it  has  a  helpful  motive  and  is  likely  to  lead  the  will 
toward  the  life  of  service  and  brotherhood.  Some  would 
prefer  to  read  a  part  of  one  of  the  great  hymns. 

'  By  Samuel  Walter  Foss. 


142    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

THURSDAY 

1.  A  brief  reading  or  recitation  from  the  New  Testament. 

2.  A  few  moments'  conversation  on  the  reading. 

3.  A  very  brief  prayer  followed  by  a  song. 

The  only  apparent  difficulty  here  is  in  starting  the  con- 
versation. Do  not  ask  formal  questions;  rather  put  them 
something  like  this:  "I  wonder  whether  people  would  do 
just  the  same  on  our  street  today."  Make  the  conversation 
as  general  as  possible;  do  not  slight,  nor  scoff  at,  the  contri- 
bution of  even  the  least  in  the  group. 

FRIDAY 

1.  A  few  verses  in  concert. 

2.  Read  a  parable  or  very  brief  narrative. 

3.  The  Lord's  Prayer. 

The  reading  had  better  be  from  one  of  the  paraphrases 
if  it  is  a  narrative  from  the  Old  Testament.'  Even  in  read- 
ing the  New  Testament  one  can  at  times  use  with  advan- 
tage the  Twentieth-Century  Bible  or  the  Modern  Reader's 
Bible. 

SATURDAY 

1.  A  period  of  song. 

2.  Closing  prayer,  with  the  Lord's  Prayer. 

Perhaps  only  one  song  can  be  sung.  It  need  not  be 
a  hymn;  that  should  depend  on  the  choice  of  the  children. 
Help  them  to  put  together  all  the  good  songs,  including  the 
hymns,  in  one  category  in  their  minds. 

SUNDAY 

I.  Ask:  "What  has  been  the  best  we  have  read  or 
repeated  in  our  worship  this  week  ?  " 

'  One  handy  form  is  The  Heart  of  the  Bible,  prepared  by  E.  A. 
Broadus;  another.  The  Children's  Bible. 


Family  Worship  143 

2.  Ask:  "What  shall  we  learn  for  memory  repetition 
this  week,  what  psalm  or  other  passage  for  our  concerted 
worship?" 

3.  Read  the  psalm  selected. 

4.  Closing  prayer. 

5.  Period  of  song,  lasting  as  long  as  desired. 

This  exercise  evidently  permits  of  extension  in  time  and 
should  be  arranged  in  accordance  with  the  program  for 
the  day. 

I.    References  for  Study 

George  Hodges,  The  Training  of  Children  in  Religion,  chaps. 

viii,  ix.     Appleton,  $1 .  50. 
The  Improvement  of  Religious  Education,  pp.  108  to  123. 

Religious  Education  Association,  $0. 50. 
Mrs.  B.  S.  Winchester,  "Methods  and  Materials  Available," 

Religious  Education,  October,   1911.    $0.50. 

II.    Further  Reading 

Koons,  The  Child's  Religious  Life.     Eaton  &  Mains,  $1.00. 
Hartshorne,   Worship   in   the   Sunday    School.     Columbia 
University,  $1.  25. 

III.    Methods  and  Materials 

A.  R.  Wells,  Grace  before  Meat.     U.S.C.E.,  $0.  25. 
C.  F.  Dole,  Choice  Verses.    Jamaica  Plains,  Massachusetts. 
Privately  printed. 

F.  A.  Hinckley  (ed.),  Readings  for  Sunday  School  and  Home. 

American  Unitarian  Association,  $0.35. 
J.  Martin,  Prayers  for  Little  Men  and  Women.    Harper, 

$1.25. 
S.  Hart  (ed.).  Short  Dally  Prayers  for  Families.     Longmans, 

$0.60. 

G.  A.  Miller,  Some  Out-Door  Prayers.     Crowell,  $0.35. 


144    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

Oxenden,  Family  Prayers.    Longmans,  $i .  50. 

George  Skene,  Morning  Prayers  for  Home  Worship.  Meth- 
odist Book  Concern,  $1.  50. 

W.  E.  Barton,  Four  Weeks  of  Family  Prayer.  Puritan 
Press,  Oak  Park,  111. 

Abbott,  Family  Prayers.    Dodd,  Mead  &  Co.,  $0.  50. 

Prayers  for  Parents  and  Children.  Young  Churchman  Co., 
Milwaukee,  Wisconsin,  $0. 15. 

IV.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  are  the  causes  for  the  decay  of  the  custom  of 
family  worship  ? 

2.  What  influences  us  most:  public  opinion,  popular 
custom,  economic  pressure  ? 

3.  How  have  the  changes  afiected  the  religious  influence 
of  the  home  ? 

4.  What  features  of  the  older  customs  are  most  worth 
preserving  ? 

5.  Recall  any  of  childhood's  prayers  which  you  remem- 
ber. How  many  maintain  the  custom  of  bedtime  prayers 
in  mature  life  ? 

6.  What  should  be  the  central  motive  of  "grace"  at 
meals  ? 

7.  Would  there  be  advantage  in  occasionally  omitting 
the  "grace"? 

8.  Give  reasons  for  and  against  "grace." 

9.  Criticize  the  proposed  plan  of  evening  family  prayers. 

10.  Describe  any  plans  which  have  been  tried. 

11.  Why  is  it  desirable  to  maintain  family  worship  ? 


CHAPTER  XIII     ' 
SUNDAY  IN  THE  HOME 

Almost  every  family  finds  Sunday  a  problem. 
Other  days  are  well  occupied  with  full  programs; 
this  one  has  a  program  for  only  part  of  its  time. 
Other  days  are  rich  with  the  Hberty  of  happy  action, 
but  this  one  is  frequently  marked  by  inaction, 
repression,  and  limitations.  As  soon  as  the 
evanescent  pleasure  of  Sunday  clothes  has  passed, 
for  those  for  whom  it  existed  at  all,  the  children 
settle  down  to  endure  the  day. 

§  I.      THE   MEANING   OF   THE   DAY 

Fathers  and  mothers  who  vent  a  sigh  of  relief 
when  Sunday  is  over  must  marvel  at  the  strains  of 
''  O  day  of  joy  and  gladness."  Yet  this  day  defeats 
its  purpose  when  it  is  of  any  other  character.  We 
have  no  right  to  rob  it  of  its  joy  and  its  healing 
balm.  On  the  day  made  for  man,  sacred  to  his 
highest  good,  whatever  hinders  the  real  happiness 
of  the  child  ought  to  be  set  aside. 

Instead  of  accepting  traditions  regarding  the 
method  of  observing  the  Sunday,  would  it  not  be 
worth  while  to  ask  ourselves.  For  what  use  of  the 
day  can  we  properly  be  held  responsible?  Here 
are  so  many — fifty-two  a  year — days  of  special 
HS 


146    Religious  Education  en  the  Family 

opportunity.  To  us  who  complain  that  business 
interferes  with  the  personal  education  of  our  chil- 
dren through  the  week,  what  ought  this  day  to 
mean?  To  us  who  lament  the  little  time  we 
can  spend  with  our  families,  what  ought  this  day 
to  mean  ?  And  what  ought  we  to  try  to  make  it 
mean  to  children  ? 

We  call  this  God's  day;  what  must  some  chil- 
dren think  of  a  God  who  robs  his  day  of  all  pleas- 
ure? If  this  is  the  kind  of  day  he  makes,  then 
how  unattractive  would  be  his  years  and  eternity! 
It  is  the  day  when  we  have  our  best  opportunity  to 
show  them  what  God  is  like,  to  interpret  his  world 
and  his  works  in  terms  of  beauty,  kindness,  riches 
of  thought,  and  love. 

It  ought  to  be  the  day  reserved  for  the  best  in 
life,  for  the  treasures  of  affection,  for  the  uses  of  the 
spirit.  Whatever  is  done  this  day  must  come  to 
this  test,  Is  this  a  ministry  to  the  life  of  goodness, 
truth,  and  loving  service  ?  Does  this  enrich  lives  ? 
In  other  words,  we  may  put  the  broad  educational 
test  to  the  day  and  its  program  and  determine  all 
by  ministry  to  growing  lives. 

§  2.      CONSERVING   THE   VALUES 

The  family  faces  the  problem  of  the  opposition 
between  the  rights  of  man  on  this  day  and  the 
greed  of  commerce,  the  fight  between  a  day  of  rest 
and  a  day  of  work.     Man's  right  to  rest  is  assured, 


Sunday  in  the  Home  147 

legally,  but  commerce  in  the  name  of  amusement 
and  in  the  guise  of  petty  and  unnecessary  trading 
constantly  maintains  its  fight  to  invade  the  day  of 
rest,  to  turn  it  from  ministry  to  man  as  a  person  to 
the  dull  level  of  the  week  of  ministry  to  things. 
The  home  has  much  at  stake  in  this  struggle.  It 
needs  one  day  free  from  the  life  that  tears  its  mem- 
bers apart,  free  from  the  toil  that  engrosses  thought, 
free  for  its  members  to  live  together  as  spiritual 
beings. 

In  the  need  for  one  day,  free  from  the  things 
that  hinder  and  devoted  to  the  life  of  the  spirit, 
the  home  finds  the  guiding  principle  for  the  use  of 
the  day ;  all  members  are  to  be  trained  to  use  it  as  a 
glorious  opportunity,  a  welcome  period,  a  day  of  the 
best  things  of  life.  It  is  devoted  to  personahty, 
to  man's  rights  as  a  religious  being. 

Surely  one  of  the  best  things  of  life  will  be  that 
we  shall  meet  one  another,  shall  look  into  faces  of 
friends  and  companions!  And  this  opportunity  of 
social  minghng  is  lifted  to  a  high  level  when  it  is  an 
act  of  the  larger  family  hfe,  the  life  that  brings  God 
and  man  into  one  family.  That  is  what  the  church 
meeting  and  service  ought  to  be:  our  Father's 
larger  family  getting  together  on  the  day  of  the 
life  that  makes  them  one.  For  the  child  the 
church  school  and  the  children's  service  of  worship 
are  their  immediate  points  of  vital  touch  with  the 
church  family.     If  we  think  of  the  day  as  affording 


148    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

us  the  pleasure  of  social  mingling  with  friends  and 
members  of  that  family,  Sunday  morning  will 
cease  to  be  a  period  of  unwilling  observance  of 
empty  duties.  Of  course  that  will  depend,  too, 
on  the  measure  in  which  the  church  and  school 
grasp  their  opportunity  to  make  this  the  best  of 
days.^ 

Further,  let  the  home  keep  this  day  as  the  one 
of  personal  values  all  the  way  through,  sacred 
to  that  life  of  love,  friendship,  and  joy  in  the 
presence  of  one  another  which  is  the  essential  life 
of  the  family.  It  has  always  been  a  good  custom 
for  friends  to  visit  on  this  day,  for  families  grown 
up  and  established  around  their  own  hearths  to 
gather  again  for  a  few  hours.  It  is  the  day  when 
we  have  time  to  discover  how  much  greater  are  the 
riches  of  friendship  than  aught  besides,  when,  look- 
ing into  the  eyes  of  those  we  love,  we  see  "the 
light  that  never  was  on  sea  or  land,"  the  ultimate 
good! 

The  hours  of  being  together  are  the  hours  of  real 
education.  Children  cannot  be  with  good  and  great 
people  and  remain  the  same.  Their  lives  need 
other  lives.  Above  all,  they  need  us.  This  should 
be  the  day  for  real  mothering  and  fathering. 
Nothing  ought  to  be  permitted  to  interfere  with 
this,  neither  our  social  pleasures  nor  the  demands 
of  the  church. 

'  See  chap,  xvii,  "The  Family  and  the  Church." 


Sunday  in  the  Home  149 

§  3.  the  problem  of  play 
What  shall  we  do  with  the  child  who  wants  to 
play  on  Sunday  ?  Is  there  any  other  kind  of  child  ? 
They  all  want  to.  It  is  as  natural  for  a  child  to 
play  as  it  is  for  a  man  to  rest ;  it  is  as  necessary.  A 
child  is  a  growing  person  learning  life  by  play. 
Because  play  seems  trivial  to  us  we  assume  it  is  so 
to  them;  we  would  banish  the  trivial  from  the 
day  devoted  to  the  higher  Hfe.  In  some  families 
play  is  forbidden  because  children  find  pleasure 
in  it,  and  adults  find  it  impossible  to  associate 
piety  and  pleasure. 

Shall  we  then  throw  down  all  barriers  and  make 
this  day  the  same  as  all  others  ?  No,  rather  make 
the  day  different  by  throwing  down  barriers  that 
stand  on  other  days.  Let  this  be  the  day  when 
the  barriers  between  father  and  sons,  parents  and 
children,  are  let  down  and  all  can  enter  into  the  joy 
of  living. 

Play  is  to  a  child  the  idealization  of  life's  experi- 
ences and  the  realization  of  its  ideals.  That  is 
why  he  plays  at  school,  idealizing  the  everyday 
life;  that  is  why  he  plays  at  housekeeping,  at  being 
in  church,  at  being  a  railway  engineer,  even  a  high- 
wayman or  an  outlaw.  The  traditional  games  are 
the  game  of  life  itself  in  terms  of  childhood.  Play 
as  idealized  experience  and  realized  ideals  is  to  the 
child  what  the  church,  worship,  and  the  reading  of 
fiction  and  essays  are  to  the  adult.     Play  is  the 


150    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

child's  method  of  reaching  forward  into  life's 
meaning.  Some  games  as  old  as  history  carry  a 
weight  of  human  tradition  and  experience  as  rich 
for  a  child  as  the  adult  obtains  from  historical 
review  and  from  association  with  the  past.  There 
is  a  sense  in  which  the  child  playing  these  games 
opens  the  Bible  of  the  race.^ 

We  cannot  make  children  over  into  our  pattern ; 
we  have  to  learn  from  them.  Indeed,  we  come  to 
life  through  their  ways.  We  must  become  as  little 
children.  Before  we  settle  the  question  of  play  on 
Sunday  we  do  well  to  be  sure  that  we  know  what 
play  means  to  children,  that  we  really  grasp  some- 
tliing  of  its  educational  value  and  its  religious 
potency.  Then  we  can  proceed  to  a  family  policy 
in  Sunday  play. 

§  4.      A   POLICY   ON   PLAY 

Keep  the  day  as  one  of  family  unity.  Help  the 
child  to  think  of  it  as  a  day  protected  for  the  sake 
of  family  togetherness.  You  can  play  that  for  this 
day  the  ideal  is  already  realized  of  a  family  life  un- 
interrupted by  the  demands  of  labor  and  business. 

Maintain  the  unity  by  doing  tJie  ideal  things 
together.  Go  to  the  place  of  worship  together, 
provided  it  is  the  place  where  the  child  can  find 
expression    for    spiritual    ideals.     If    the    Sunday 

'■  See  chap,  vii  on  "Directed  Activity,"  and  the  references  for 
study  at  its  end. 


Sunday  in  the  Home  151 

school  does  not  really  lift  the  child-life  and  really 
teach  the  child,  if  it  is  not  honest  with  him  and 
makes  no  suitable  provision  for  his  developing 
nature,  he  will  be  better  off  in  a  quiet  hour  of 
family  conversation  and  reading  at  home.  That 
means  the  application  of  parents  to  this  hour.'  It 
banishes  the  monstrous  Sunday  supplement  with 
its  hideous,  debasing  pictures.  It  substitutes 
conversation  in  the  whole  group,  reading  aloud  of 
stories  and  poems,  biblical  and  otherwise,  and 
songs,  hymns,  or  at  times  the  walk  in  the  fields  or 
parks.  Fortunately  the  better  type  of  Sunday 
school  is  more  and  more  to  be  found;  children  are 
more  and  more  receiving  a  ministry  actually  deter- 
mined by  their  needs.  So  far  as  the  church  service 
is  concerned  the  ideal  situation  is  found  when  a 
parallel  service  is  provided  for  children,  based 
on  their  needs  and  capacities.  As  to  attendance, 
under  other  circumstances,  in  the  family  pew,  that 
depends  on  whether  the  child  is  gaining  an  aver- 
sion to  the  church  by  the  torture  and  tedium  often 
involved.  Without  doubt  many  adults  acquired 
the  settled  habit  of  sleeping  in  church  because 
that  was  the  only  possible  rehef  in  childhood.^ 

'  Much  may  be  learned  by  a  study  of  Primary  plans  in  a 
modem  Sunday  school.  See  Athearn,  The  Church  School, 
chap.  vi. 

^  Since  we  are  dealing  here  especially  with  religious  education 
in  the  family,  the  author  refers  to  his  more  extended  treatment 
of  the  question  of  children  in  church  services  in  Efficiency  in  the 
Sunday  School,  chap.  xv. 


152    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

Maintain  the  family  unity  by  stepping  into  the 
child's  ideal  life.  Expect  activity  and  use  it.  Why 
should  we  assume  that  because  the  adult  finds  a 
Sunday  nap  enjoyable  the  child  will  be  blessed  by 
enforced  silence  ?  I  would  rather  see  a  father 
playing  catch  with  his  boys  on  Sunday  than  see 
the  boys  cowed  into  silence  while  he  slept  a  Sab- 
bath sleep.  Children  will  play.  Their  play  is 
innocent;  more,  it  may  be  helpful  and  educative; 
we  can  insure  these  values  in  it  by  our  participation. 
That  is  the  parent's  opportunity  for  a  closer  sym- 
pathy with  his  children.  Playing  together  is  the 
closest  Hving,  thinking,  and  feeling  together. 
Where  games  are  shared,  confidences,  secrets,  and 
aspirations  are  shared,  too.  Besides,  the  par- 
ticipation of  the  adult  may  tend  to  tone  up  the 
game  and  to  moderate  boisterousness. 

Seek  the  beautiful.  Speaking  as  one  who  has 
been  under  both  the  puritanical  regulation  and  the 
so-called  "continental"  freedom  of  Sunday  observ- 
ance, nothing  seems  much  more  beautiful  than  the 
sight  of  an  entire  family  playing  at  home,  in  the 
park,  or  off  in  the  woods  or  the  fields  of  the  country. 
Life  is  strengthened,  ideals  are  lifted,  family  ties 
knit  closer,  gratitude  is  quickened,  and  courage 
stimulated  by  play  of  this  kind. 

§  5.      POINTS   OF  DIFFERENCE 

But  because  it  is  evidently  most  important  that 
this  day  should  be  different  from  other  days,  it  is 


Sunday  in  the  Home  153 

well  to  mark  that  difference  in  our  plays  and 
pleasures  and  to  follow  some  simple  principles  for 
Sunday  play. 

First,  make  it  the  day  of  the  best  plays.  The 
participation  of  parents  will  tend  to  have  this 
effect.  Sometimes  some  forms  of  play  may  be 
reserved  for  this  day. 

Secondly,  our  play  should  never  interfere  with 
the  rights  of  those  who  desire  to  be  quiet  or  to 
observe  the  day  in  ways  differing  from  ours.  We 
must  respect  the  rights  of  all. 

Thirdly,  our  play  must  not  cause  additional  or 
unnecessary  labor. 

Fourthly,  our  play  must  not  interfere  with  the 
pleasures  of  others.  For  instance,  in  the  city  chil- 
dren who  can  use  the  public  tennis  courts  every  day 
should  keep  off  them  on  Sunday  in  order  to  give 
opportimity  to  those  who  can  use  them  only  on  that 
day. 

Having  said  so  much  on  play  on  Sundays,  we 
must  not  leave  the  impression  that  play  is  the 
principal  thing.  It  would  be  the  principal  thing 
for  children  compelled  to  work  or  confined  in 
crowded  tenements  on  all  other  days.  This  is  a 
day  of  rest.  Play  should  not  be  carried  beyond 
the  rest  and  refreshment  stage. 

Nor  must  we  assume  that  a  recognition  of  play 
involves  neglect  of  worship  and  instruction.  Both 
should  be  cherished  among  the  delights  of  the  day. 
Every  attempt  to  make  the  day  a  happy  one,  by 


154    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

normal  play,  associates  the  emphasis  on  worship 
with  increased  happiness  in  the  child's  mind. 

§  6.   THE  SUNDAY  AFTERNOON  PROBLEM 

"What  shall  we  do  ?"  the  children  ask  restlessly 
on  Sunday  afternoons,  and  it  is  by  no  means  a 
strange  question.  All  the  week  they  have  their 
school  work,  on  Saturdays  their  play.  No  wonder 
Sunday  afternoon  seems  dull.  Yet  if  we  older  ones 
use  it  aright  this  is  our  opportunity  to  give  them  the 
best  time  of  all  the  week.  We  can  make  this  part 
of  the  day  really  a  holiday  if  we  just  take  time  to 
plan  it  right.  There  is  something  wrong  in  the 
home  in  which  the  child,  as  he  grows  up,  does  not 
look  forward  happily  to  his  Sunday  afternoons. 

Sunday  afternoon  should  be  a  family  festival 
time.  Keep  it  sacred  to  the  family.  Business  and 
social  life  claim  us  all  the  week,  and  the  church 
claims  its  share  of  this  day;  but  these  afternoon 
hours  we  can,  if  we  will,  reserve  for  our  own  home 
life,  for  the  closer  drawing  together  of  children  and 
parents.  To  hold  this  time  sacred  for  the  children 
and  their  interests  will  help  to  solve  "the  Sunday 
afternoon  problem." 

I.  The  child's  question,  "  What  shall  I  do  next  ?  " — 
Children  are  dynamic,  perpetually  active.  They 
grow  in  the  direction  toward  which  their  activities 
are  turned.  Repression  is  impossible.  We  must 
either  find  the  best  things  for  them  to  do,  or  let 


Sunday  in  the  Home  155 

them  chance  on  things  good  or  bad.  The  following 
outline  for  Sunday  afternoon  is  given  in  the  hope 
that  it  may  help  to  answer  the  "what  next." 

1.  Begin  to  make  The  Family  Book. 

2.  Give  "festival  name"  to  the  day,  and  take  an  excur- 
sion in  honor  of  the  one  for  whom  the  day  is  named. 

3.  Organize  an  exploring  party  to  discover  peoples  and 
scenes  of  long,  long  ago. 

4.  Get  acquainted  with  some  beautiful  home  thoughts. 

5.  Enjoy  an  evening  hour  of  song  and  praise. 

2.  '^The  Family  Book." — To  start  The  Family 
Book,  mother  or  father  raises  the  question  at 
dinner:  "What  was  the  best  Sunday  of  all  last 
year,  and  why  was  it  the  best?"  Everyone,  from 
the  oldest  down  to  the  least,  should  have  a  chance 
to  tell.  The  statements  of  the  older  ones  will 
encourage  the  younger. 

That  question  will  start  another:  What  is  the 
very  best  thing  we  can  remember  about  the  year 
past  ?  Let  everyone  take  a  pencil  and  paper  and 
in  just  ten  minutes  decide  on  and  write  down  the 
one  thing  best  worth  remembering.  Perhaps  the 
baby  cannot  write  yet,  but  he  or  she  will  want 
paper  and  pencil,  too.  Now,  instead  of  making 
our  answers  known  to  one  another,  we  fold  the 
papers  and  keep  them  till  the  evening  meal.  We 
will  open  them  then  and  talk  it  all  over.  After- 
ward we  are  going  to  copy  the  answers  into  a  new 
book  we  are  going  to  make. 


156    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

This  new  book  is  to  be  called  The  Family  Book. 
and  we  expect  to  put  into  it  all  the  pleasant  things 
we  wish  to  record  about  our  home  and  family. 
Any  blank  book  with  ruled  lines  will  do.  Some 
time  today  we  will  elect  a  keeper  of  the  book, 
and  before  we  go  to  bed  we  will  see  the  first  entry 
in  that  book  under  the  title,  ''Happy  Memories  of 
191 5."  That  will  make  a  good  beginning  for 
The  Family  Book.  Next  Sunday  we  will  discuss 
and  set  down  in  the  book  the  happy  memories  of 
the  intervening  week. 

3.  The  festival  name. — Now,  we  have  been 
sitting,  talking,  and  writing  as  long  as  the  children 
will  care  to  be  still.  Suppose  we  all  go  outdoors 
together,  every  one  of  us.  What  if  the  weather  is 
bad  ?  It  is  seldom  truly  bad,  and  there  is  so  much 
real  happiness  in  going  out  in  all  weathers  together. 

But  where  shall  we  go  ?  There  is  no  fun  in 
walking  simply  for  exercise  or  health.  Well,  says 
father,  we  can  decide  where  to  go  by  naming  the 
day.  How?  We  will  find  the  most  interesting 
birthday  or  anniversary  that  falls  today  or  during 
the  next  week.  If  one  of  the  family  has  a  birth- 
day then,  that  one  shall  choose  our  walk  for  us.  If 
not,  then  when  we  have  chosen  the  national  hero 
or  heroine  whose  birthday  falls  near  this  time,  or 
the  event  the  anniversary  of  which  comes  nearest, 
we  will  go,  if  possible,  where  something  will  remind 
us  of  that  person  or  event. 


Sunday  in  the  Home  157 

So  we  fall  to  discussing  the  possibilities.  We 
search  through  ahrianacs  until  we  find  the  anni- 
versary that  suits  us  all.  Perhaps  one  of  the 
parents  has  anticipated  all  this  by  looking  up  the 
matter,  and  has  a  good  name  to  suggest.  Or  the 
older  ones  may  consult  a  dictionary  of  dates.  It 
may  turn  out  to  be  the  birthday  of  a  national  hero. 
In  the  city  he  may  have  a  statue;  in  the  country 
may  be  found  the  kinds  of  woods,  flowers,  or 
animals  he  loved. 

4,  The  exploring  party. — But  even  after  the 
walk  it  will  not  be  long  before  the  little  ones  are 
asking,  "What  can  we  do  next?"  So  we  organize 
the  exploring  party.  Our  object  is  to  discover 
the  countries,  scenes,  strange  peoples,  and  most 
interesting  persons  we  have  heard  of  in  the  Bible. 
We  are  to  find  them  in  the  advertising  sections  of 
old  magazines.  Let  each  one  take  a  magazine 
and  go  through  it,  looking  for  oriental  scenes,  for 
pictures  of  incidents  and  of  men  and  women  that 
will  remind  him  of  Bible  scenes  and  characters. 
These  are  to  be  cut  out,  explained,  and  arranged 
in  the  order  of  time,  as  they  happened,  every 
member  of  the  family  helping.  The  same  plan 
may  be  applied  to  scenes  of  missionary  work, 
using  blank  books  for  stories  of  heroism  which 
children  will  illustrate  with  the  magazine  pictures. 

5.  Home  thoughts. — ''Home,  sweet  home,"  is 
just   a    comer   of    the    afternoon    saved    for    the 


158    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

discovery  and  reading  of  selections  that  are  worth 
keeping  in  our  memories  and  are  also  likely  to  help 
us  hold  our  homes  in  some  measure  of  the  love  and 
reverence  they  desen'e.  There  are  songs  of  home 
that  ought  never  to  be  forgotten. 

6.  Religious  reading  and  songs  close  the  day 
happily. — Children  love  religious  reading  and 
songs,  provided  they  are  offered  for  their  worth  and 
not  as  an  exercise,  or  to  be  learned  as  an  empty 
duty.  Take  down  your  Bible  and  read  Psahn  100, 
"Make  a  jo}-ful  noise  unto  the  Lord,  all  ye  lands"; 
see  whether  they  do  not  all  enjoy  the  music  and 
majesty  of  those  lines.  You  will  not  find  it  difficult 
to  secure  their  co-operation  in  learning  that  by 
heart. 

Then  close  the  day  -with  an  hour  of  song.  The 
children  will  remember  songs  learned  thus  all  their 
Hves ;  therefore  those  worth  remembering  should  be 
chosen.  For  one,  there  is  that  dear  old  song  many 
of  us  learned  at  mother's  knee.  "Jesus  loves  me, 
this  I  know."  That  and  others  that  are  appro- 
priate can  be  found  in  almost  every  hymnbook. 
^lany  books  of  school  songs  also  have  a  few  hymns 
and  Sunday  songs  that  children  like. 

Parents  are  puzzled,  perhaps  most  of  all,  to 
choose  appropriate  stories  to  read  to  the  children 
on  Sunday.  Youngsters  prefer,  of  course,  the 
told  stor}-  to  the  read  one,  but  if  you  wish  to  read 
you  will  make  no  mistake  in  selecting  Christie's  Old 


Sunday  in  the  Home  159 

Organ;  Aunt  Abbey's  Neighbors,  by  rVnnie  T. 
Slosson;  The  Book  of  Golden  Deeds,  by  Charlotte 
M.  Yonge;  and  Telling  Bible  Stories,  by  Louise  S. 
Houghton.  Some  Great  Stories  and  How  to  Tell 
Them,  by  Richard  Wyche,  and  Story  Telling,  by 
Edna  L\'man,  will  serve  as  good  guides  to  what 
to  tell,  and  how  to  tell  it. 

7.  Naming  the  day. — From  week  to  week  variety 
should  enter  into  the  Sunday  program.  On  the 
Sunday  following  the  one  described  above  we  can 
begin  at  the  dinner  table  the  happy  task  of  "nam- 
ing the  day."  We  can  decide  whether  it  shall  be 
called  after  one  of  our  own  number,  whose  birthday 
falls  near  this  date,  or  after  one  of  the  anniver- 
saries of  the  week  following. 

Perhaps  someone  suggests  calling  it  after  the 
feast  day  of  the  church  year  observed  by  certain 
churches.  That  should  lead  to  discussion  and 
investigation  of  the  meaning  of  the  day. 

When  all  are  agreed  on  a  name,  write  it  under 
its  date  on  your  wall  calendar.  It  wnW.  be  a  con- 
venient suggestion  for  next  year,  unless  the  decision 
is  for  a  different  name  when  the  day  again  comes 
round.  It  wiU  also  call  to  mind  some  of  the  inter- 
esting discussions  which  it  aroused. 

After  this  we  might  call  for  The  Family  Book, 
which  now  contains,  you  will  recall,  the  family's 
decision  as  to  the  best  Sunday  and  the  happiest 
occurrences    of    the    year    before.     The    keeper, 


i6o    Religious  Education  est  the  Family 

appointed  last  week,  must  bring  it  out.  We  can 
read  what  we  wrote  a  week  ago  and  decide  on 
the  things  worth  entering  this  week.  Records  of 
birthdays,  special  happenings  to  each  of  the  family, 
the  bright  sayings  of  little  ones,  and  the  visits  of 
friends  and  relatives  all  should  go  in. 

8.  "/  remember  ^^  stories. — While  The  Family 
Book  is  open  is  the  psychological  moment  for 
father  and  mother  to  tell  stories  of  their  childhood. 
Every  child  likes  to  hear  the  story  that  begins,  "I 
remember,"  and  feels  a  thrill  of  pride  in  belonging 
to  something  that  goes  back  and  has  a  history. 
The  old  family  album  is  a  never-failing  source  of 
delight,  not  so  much  because  of  the  pictures  as 
because  of  what  they  suggest  of  family  traditions. 

Now  is  a  good  time  to  select  some  certain  thing 
which  shall  be  used  only  on  this  day,  such  as  a 
festival  lamp  or  candlestick,  some  festival  plates 
or  dishes — just  one  thing  or  set  of  things  toward 
the  use  of  which  we  can  look  forward  during  the 
week.  This  helps  to  make  Sunday  what  we  used 
to  call  "a  treat." 

9.  Golden  deeds. — Last  week  we  started  The 
Family  Book  in  which  to  keep  a  record  of  all  the 
happy  experiences  that  belong  to  our  family.  This 
week  we  begin  another  book.  In  it  we  expect  to 
place  every  week  just  one  splendid  story,  the 
account  of  a  golden  deed,  some  piece  of  everyday 
kindness  or  heroism  of  which  we  have  read  or  heard 


Sunday  in  the  Home  i6i 

or  which  we  have  witnessed.  Everyone  is  to  have 
a  chance  to  contribute  to  this  book,  all  the  family- 
deciding  by  vote  each  week  as  to  which  story  should 
be  placed  on  its  pages. 

Did  you  read  in  the  paper  this  week  of  some 
brave  or  kindly  deed  done  by  a  boy  or  a  girl,  a  man 
or  a  woman  ?  Did  you  see  someone  do  an  act 
of  kindness?  Cut  out  the  account  or  write  out 
the  story  and  have  it  ready  for  your  own  Golden 
Deed  Book.  Everyone  must  watch  all  the  week 
for  the  right  kind  of  stories.  It  is  wonderful  how 
much  good  you  will  find  in  the  world  when  you  are 
looking  for  it. 

Sunday  afternoons  all  the  family  can  hear  each 
story  and  talk  over  its  fine  points  of  virtue  and 
goodness.  Thus  may  be  developed  an  apprecia- 
tion of  the  human  quahties  that  are  really  admi- 
rable. We  can  discuss  also  the  probability  of  cer- 
tain of  the  stories  and  the  righteousness  of  the  deeds. 

Any  blank  book  will  do,  or  even  a  composition 
book.  It  will  help  to  keep  hands  happily  occupied 
if  you  make  your  own  covers  and  cut  out  gilt 
letters  for  the  title.  Often  you  can  find  pictures 
to  illustrate  the  stories  chosen;  sometimes  you 
may  prefer  to  draw  the  illustrations.  Keep  The 
Golden  Deed  Book  in  a  safe  and  convenient  place, 
because  there  ought  to  be  something  to  go  into  it 
every  week.  For  instance,  did  you  read  the  other 
day  of  the  young  man  who  jumped  in  front  of  a 


1 62    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

train  to  save  a  young  girl  ?  He  lost  his  life,  but  he 
saved  hers.  Can  you  find  that  story  and  put  it  in 
the  book?  Perhaps  you  have  found  one  that 
seems  even  more  fitting. 

lo.  Various  plans. — Giving  happiness  creates  it. 
Plan  something  every  Sunday  for  the  happiness  of 
others.  Occasionally  go  in  a  body  to  call  on  some- 
one who  will  be  made  happy  by  the  visit. 

If  you  walk  in  the  park  or  elsewhere,  see  how 
many  things  you  can  discover  that  you  have  read 
about  in  the  Bible  or  know  to  be  mentioned  there. 

Try  the  game  of  "guessing  hymns."  While 
someone  plays  the  familiar  tunes,  each  takes  a 
turn  at  identifying  them  and  the  hymns  to  which 
they  belong. 

Set  aside  twenty  minutes  for  each  one  to  write 
a  letter  to  send  to  the  brother  or  sister,  relative  or 
friend,  at  a  distance.  Even  the  baby  can  scratch 
something  which  he  thinks  is  a  "real  enough" 
letter  in  penciled  scribbles. 

Close  the  day  with  quiet  reading  and  song,  or 
with  the  memory  exercise  in  which  all  endeavor  to 
repeat  some  simple  psahn  or  a  few  verses,  like 
the  Beatitudes.  All  children  like  to  repeat  the 
Lord's  Prayer  in  family  concert. 

I.    References  for  Study 

Emilie  Poulsson,  Love  and  Law  in  Child  Training,  chaps, 
i-iv.    Milton  Bradley,  $i.oo. 


Sunday  in  the  Home  163 

Happy  Sundays  for  Children  and  Sunday  in  the  Home. 
Pamphlets.  American  Institute  of  Child  Life,  Phila- 
delphia, Pa. 

II.    Further  Reading 

Sunday  Play.  Pamphlet.  American  Institute  of  Child 
Life,  Philadelphia,  Pa. 

Hodges,  Training  of  Children  in  Religion,  chap.  xiii.  Apple- 
ton,  $1.50. 

HI.    Methods  and  Materials 

A  Year  of  Good  Sundays.  Pamphlet.  American  Institute 
of  Child  Life,  Philadelphia,  Pa. 

IV.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  is  the  real  problem  of  Sunday  in  the  family? 
Is  it  that  of  securing  quiet  or  of  wisely  directing  the  action 
of  the  young  ? 

2.  Recall  your  childhood's  Sundays.  Were  they  for 
good  or  ill  ? 

3.  What  are  the  arguments  against  children  playing  on 
Sunday?  Is  there  any  essential  relation  between  the  play 
of  children  and  the  wide-open  Sunday  of  commercialized 
amusements  ? 

4.  Can  you  describe  forms  of  play  in  which  practically 
all  the  family  might  unite  ? 

5.  What  characteristics  should  distinguish  play  on 
Sundays  from  other  days?  Is  it  wise  to  attempt  thus  to 
distinguish  this  day  ? 

6.  Criticize  the  suggestions  on  occupations  for  Sunday 
afternoons. 

7.  Recall  any  especially  helpful  forms  of  the  use  of  this 
day  in  your  childhood,  or  coming  under  your  observation. 


CHAPTER  XIV 

THE  MINISTRY  OF  THE  TABLE 

Shall  the  periods  for  meals  be  for  the  body  only 
or  shall  we  see  in  them  happy  occasions  for  the 
enriching  of  the  higher  life  ?  Upon  the  answer 
depends  whether  the  table  shall  be  httle  more  than 
a  feeding-trough  or  the  scene  of  constant  mental 
and  character  development.  In  some  memories 
the  meals  stand  out  only  in  terms  of  food,  while 
pictures  of  dishes  and  fragments  of  food  fill  the 
mind;  in  others  there  are  borne  through  all  life 
pictures  of  happy  faces  and  thoughts  of  cheer,  of 
knowledge  gained  and  ideals  created  in  the  glow  of 
conversation. 

§  I.      THE    OPPORTUNITY 

The  family  is  together  as  a  united  group  at  the 
table  more  than  anywhere  besides.  Table-talk,  by 
its  informality  and  by  the  aid  of  the  pleasures  of 
social  eating,  is  one  of  the  most  influential  means 
of  education.  Depend  upon  it,  children  are  more 
impressed  by  table-talk  than  by  teacher-talk  or 
by  pulpit-talk.  They  expect  moralizing  on  the 
other  occasions,  but  here  the  moral  lessons  throw 
out  no  warning;  they  meet  no  opposition ;  they  are 
— or  ought  to  be,  if  they  would  be  effective — ^a 

164 


The  Ministry  of  the  Table  165 

natural  part  of  ordinary  conversation  and,  by  being 
part  and  parcel  of  everyday  affairs,  they  become 
normally  related  to  life.  The  table  is  the  best 
opportunity  for  informal,  indirect  teaching,  and 
this  is  for  children  the  natural  and  only  really 
effective  form  of  moral  instruction. 

The  child  comes  to  these  social  occasions  with  a 
hungry  mind  as  well  as  with  an  empty  stomach. 
His  mind  is  always  receptive — even  more  so  than 
his  stomach;  at  the  table  he  is  absorbing  that  which 
will  stay  with  him  much  longer  than  his  food. 
Even  if  we  were  thinking  of  his  food  alone,  we 
should  still  do  well  to  see  that  the  table  is  graced 
by  happy  and  helpful  conversation;  nothing  will 
aid  digestion  more  than  good  cheer  of  the  spirit; 
it  stimulates  the  organs  and,  by  diverting  attention 
from  the  mere  mechanics  of  eating,  it  tends  to  that 
most  desirable  end,  a  leisurely  consumption  of 
food. 

The  general  conversation  of  the  family  group 
has  more  to  do  with  character  development  in 
children  than  we  are  likely  to  realize,  and  the 
table  is  peculiarly  the  opportunity  for  general 
conversation.  Here,  most  of  all,  we  need  to 
watch  its  character  and  consider  its  teaching 
effects.  Where  father  scolds  or  mother  complains 
the  children  grow  fretful  and  quarrelsome.  Where 
father  spends  the  time  in  reciting  the  sharp  dealing 
of  the  market  or  the  political  ring,  where  mother 


i66    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

delights  in  dilating  on  the  tinsel  splendors  of  her 
social  rivalries,  they  teach  the  children  that  life's 
object  is  either  gain  at  any  cost  or  social  glory. 
But  it  is  just  as  easy  to  do  precisely  the  opposite, 
to  speak  of  the  pleasures  found  in  simpler  ways, 
to  glory  in  goodness  and  kindness,  and  to  teach, 
by  relating  the  worthy  things  of  the  day,  the  worth 
of  love  and  truth  and  high  ideals.  The  news  of 
the  day  may  be  discussed  so  as  to  make  this  world 
a  game  of  grab,  inviting  youth  to  cast  conscience 
and  honor  to  the  winds  and  to  plunge  into  the 
greedy  struggle,  or  so  as  to  make  each  day  a  book 
of  beautiful  pictures  of  life's  best  pleasures  and 
enduring  prizes. 

§  2.      DIRECTING  TABLE-TALK 

But  table-talk,  helpful,  cheerful,  and  educative, 
does  not  occur  by  accident.  It  comes,  first,  from 
our  own  constant  and  habitual  thought  of  the  meals 
in  social  and  spiritual,  as  well  as  in  physical,  terms. 
And  it  reaches  its  possibilities  as  we  endeavor  to 
create  and  direct  the  kind  of  conversation  that  is 
desired.  "Let  all  your  speech  be  seasoned  with 
salt,"  wrote  the  apostle,  and  we  might  add,  let 
your  salt  be  seasoned  with  good  speech.  That  is 
the  quality  we  must  seek,  the  seasoning  of  health- 
ful, saving,  and  not  insipid,  speech. 

One  of  the  great  advantages  of  "grace  before 
meat"  lies  in  this:   it  gives  a  tone  to  the  occasion. 


The  Ministry  of  the  Table  167 

Its  chief  meaning  is  surely  that  we  remind  our- 
selves of  the  ever-present  guest  who  is  also  the 
giver  of  all  good.  Where  the  grace  is  not  a  per- 
functor}^  act,  but  rather  the  welcoming  of  such  a 
guest,  the  meal  has  started  on  a  high  level.  We 
cannot  do  better  than  so  to  act  and  speak  as  those 
who  take  the  divine  presence  for  granted.  We 
need  not  preach  about  it;  we  need  only  to  assume 
it  and  move  on  the  level  of  that  friendship.  Chil- 
dren will  feel  it;  they  will  seek  to  answer  to  it,  and 
will  find  pleasure  in  the  very  thought  which  they 
have  perhaps  never  expressed  in  words. 

The  central  idea  of  the  grace  suggests  another 
means  of  helpful  influences  at  the  table,  by  bringing 
into  our  homes,  for  the  meals,  the  friends  whose  lives 
will  lift  these  younger  ones.  It  is  worth  everything 
to  live  even  for  an  hour  with  good  and  broadening 
lives.  There  are  obligations  to  our  guests  to  be 
considered,  and  their  wishes  should  be  consulted, 
but  one  always  feels  that  children  are  being  cheated 
when  they  are  sent  to  eat  at  another  table  and 
deprived  of  the  peculiar  intimate  touch  with  lives 
that  bring  the  benefits  of  travel  and  experience. 
Ask  your  own  memory  what  some  persons  who 
ate  at  the  table  with  you  in  childhood  meant 
to  you. 

The  wise  hostess  knows  that  even  when  she 
brings  together  the  group  of  mature  folks,  and 
even  when  they  are  wise  and  witty,  she  must  be 


1 68    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

prepared  adroitly  to  inspire  the  conversation  or  it 
may  flag  at  times.  Kow  much  more  does  the  con- 
versation need  direction  where  we  have  the  same 
group  every  day  composed  largely  of  immature 
persons!  When  you  have  thought  of  all  the  por- 
tions and  all  the  plates,  have  you  thought  of  the 
food  for  the  spirit  ? 

Before  suggesting  methods  of  selection  and 
direction,  let  a  word  of  explanation  be  said:  food 
for  the  spirit  is  not  confined  to  theology,  to  hymns 
and  the  Bible;  it  is  whatever  will  help  us  to  feel 
and  think  of  life  as  an  affair  of  the  spirit.  And  this 
must  come  in  very  simple  terms,  by  the  elementary 
steps,  for  young  folks.  It  will  be  whatever  will  in 
any  way  help  us  to  live  more  kindly,  more  cheer- 
fully, more  as  though  this  really  were  God's  world 
and  all  folks  his  family.  Whatever  does  this  is 
truly  religious. 

§  3.      METHODS 

Plan  for  the  food  of  the  spirit  as  seriously  at 
least  as  for  the  food  of  the  body.  Learn  to  recog- 
nize poisons  and  also  indigestibles.  The  first 
are  subjects  of  scandal,  bitterness  of  spirit,  malice, 
impatience,  tale-bearing,  unkindly  criticism,  and 
discontent.  The  second  are  subjects  too  heavy  for 
children:  your  formal  theology  would  be  one  of 
them,  your  judgments  on  some  intricate  subjects 
may  be  among  them.    It  is  seldom  wise  to  announce 


The  Ministry  of  the  Table  169 

negative  injunctions,  but  we  can  make  up  our  own 
minds  to  avoid  the  conversational  poisons  and,  when 
they  appear,  it  is  always  easy  to  push  them  out. 
Even  when  the  unpleasant  subject  is  so  common  to 
all  and  has  been  so  impressive  in  the  day's  experience 
that  it  threatens  to  become  the  sole,  absorbing 
topic,  we  can  say,  "We  won't  talk,  of  it  at  table! 
Let's  find  something  better."  But  we  must  then 
have  ready  the  something  better;  that  will  be 
possible  only  by  forethought. 

First,  save  up  during  the  day,  or  between  the 
meals,  the  best  thoughts,  the  cheering,  kind,  ideal, 
and  amusing  incidents.  Cultivate  the  habit  of 
saying  to  yourself,  ''This  is  something  for  us  all  to 
enjoy  tonight  at  the  table." 

Secondly,  expect  the  other  members  to  bring 
their  best.  Ask  for  "the  best  news  of  the  day" 
from  one  and  another.  Encourage  them  to  tell  of 
good  tilings  seen  and  done  and  of  pleasant  and  ideal 
things  heard  and  spoken. 

Thirdly,  use  the  incidents  as  the  basis  of  dis- 
cussion. Let  children  tell  what  they  think  of 
moral  situations.  Often  they  will  quote  the 
opinions  of  teachers  and  others.  Always  you  will 
secure  under  these  circumstances  the  unreserved 
expression  of  what  they  actually  think.  A  free, 
informal  conversation  of  this  sort  where  opinions 
are  kindly  examined  and  compared  is  the  finest 
kind  of  teachmg. 


lyo    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

Fourthly,  do  not  forget  the  grace  of  humor. 
To  see  the  odd,  whimsical,  startling  side  of  the 
incident  or  experience  trains  one  to  see  the  inter- 
play of  life,  to  catch  a  ray  of  light  from  all  things, 
and  to  moderate  our  tendency  to  permit  our 
tragedies  to  pull  the  heavens  down. 

Fifthly,  use  this  period  to  strengthen  the  con- 
sciousness of  family  unity  by  recounting  past 
happy  experiences  and  discussing  plans  of  family 
life.  In  one  family  there  are  few  meals  from 
October  to  Christmas  that  do  not  include  reminis- 
cences of  the  summer  in  the  woods  and  by  the 
water,  or  from  Christmas  to  June  without  plans 
for  the  next  summer  in  the  same  place.  Then, 
too,  if  you  are  contemplating  something  new,  a 
piano,  a  chair,  an  automobile,  talk  it  all  over  here. 
Let  each  one  have  his  share  in  the  planning.  The 
eflfect  is  most  important  for  character;  the  chil- 
dren acquire  the  sense  of  a  share  in  the  family 
community  life.  They  get  their  first  lessons  in 
citizenship  in  this  group,  and  they  thus  learn  social 
living.  Then  when  the  chair,  or  what  not,  is 
bought,  it  is  not  alone  the  parents'  possession; 
it  belongs  to  all  and  all  treat  it  as  the  property 
of  all. 

Sixthly,  introduce  great  guests  who  cannot 
come  in  person.  It  is  fine  fun  to  say,  "We  have 
with  us  tonight  a  man  who  loved  bees  and  wrote 
books."     Let  them  guess  who  it  was;  help,  if  neces- 


The  Ministry  of  the  Table  171 

sary,  by  an  allusion  to  The  Life  of  the  Bee  and  The 
Blue  Bird.  They  will  want  to  know  more  about 
Maeterlinck  and  they  will  joyously  imagine  what 
they  would  say  to  him  and  how  he  would  answer, 
what  he  would  eat  and  how  he  would  behave.  In 
this  way  we  may  enjoy  knowing  better  Lincoln, 
Whittier,  Florence  Nightingale,  and  an  innumer- 
able company. 

Seventhly,  this  is  the  place  to  remmd  ourselves 
that  table- manners  are  no  small  part  of  the  moral 
Ufe.  By  the  habituation  of  custom  we  can  estab- 
hsh  lives  in  attitudes  of  everyday  thoughtfulness 
for  others,  in  the  underlying  consideration  of  others 
which  is  the  basis  of  all  courtesy.  Children's 
questions  on  table-etiquette  must  be  met,  not 
only  by  the  formal  rules,  but  also  by  their  explana- 
tion in  the  intent  of  every  gentle  life  to  give  pleas- 
ure and  not  pain  to  others,  so  to  live  in  all  things 
as  to  find  helpful  harmony  with  other  lives  and  to 
help  them  to  find  and  be  the  best.  It  is  not  only 
impolite  to  grab  and  guzzle,  it  is  unsocial  and  so 
unmoral,  because  it  is  both  a  bad  example  and  a 
distressing  sight  to  others.  It  is  irreUgious, 
because  whatever  tends  to  make  this  life  less 
beautiful  must  be  offensive  to  the  God  who  made 
all  things  good. 

If  we  ourselves  seek  to  maintam  beauty,  order, 
and  kindliness  in  the  conduct  of  the  table,  our 
children  acquire  a  love  of  all  that  makes  for  beauty 


172     Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

and  order  and  kindliness,  for  righteousness  in  the 
little  things  of  Hfe.  A  clean  tablecloth  may  be  a 
means  of  grace.  You  have  to  try  to  live  up  to  it. 
Order  and  quietness  in  eating  are  not  separable 
from  the  rest  of  the  Hfe.  To  lift  up  life  at  any  pvoint 
is  to  raise  the  whole  level.  To  let  it  down  at  any 
point  is  to  let  all  down.  But  to  Hft  up  the  level  of 
conversation  at  the  table  is  to  raise  the  level  of  the 
entire  occasion  and  to  make  it  more  than  a  period 
of  eating,  to  convert  it  into  a  festival,  a  joyous 
occasion  of  the  spirit.  The  meal  should  be  in  all 
things  worthy  of  the  unseen  guest. 

How  near  we  all  come  together  at  the  table! 
In  its  freedom  how  clearly  are  we  seen  by  our 
children!  Here  they  know  us  for  what  we  are 
and  so  learn  to  interpret  life. 

I.    Reference  for  Study 

Table    Talk.    Pamphlet.    American    Institute    of    Child 
Life,  Philadelphia,  Pa. 

II.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  The  relation  of  mental  conditions  to  digestion. 

2.  The  relation  of  table-etiquette  to  life-habits. 

3.  The  table  as  an  opportunity  for  the  grace  of  courtesy, 
and  the  relation  of  this  grace  to  Christian  character. 

4.  Training  children  in  listening  as  well  as  in  talking  at 
table. 

5.  Do  you  regard  table-talk  and  table-manners  as  having 
any  directly  religious  values  ?    Why  ? 


CHAPTER  XV 

THE  BOY  AND  GIRL  IN  THE  FAMILY 

Much  that  has  been  said  so  far  has  had  in  mind 
only  the  problems  of  dealing  with  younger  children 
in  the  life  of  the  home.  Indeed,  almost  all  litera- 
ture on  education  in  the  family  is  devoted  to  the 
years  prior  to  adolescence.  But  older  boys  and 
girls  need  the  family  and  the  family  needs  them. 
Many  of  the  more  serious  problems  of  youth  with 
which  society  is  attempting  to  deal  are  due  to  the 
fact  that  from  the  age  of  thirteen  on  boys  have  no 
home  life  and  girls,  especially  in  the  cities,  are 
deprived  of  the  home  influences. 

§  I.      THE   GROWING   BOY 

The  life  of  the  family  must  have  a  place  for  the 
growing  boy.  It  must  make  provision  for  his 
physical  needs;  these  are  food,  activity,  rest,  and 
shelter.  Youth  is  a  period  of  physical  crisis. 
Health  is  the  basis  of  a  sound  moral  life.  Many 
of  the  lad's  apparently  strange  propensities  are  due 
to  the  physical  changes  taking  place  in  his  body 
and,  often,  to  the  fact  that  it  is  assumed  that  his 
rugged  frame  needs  no  care  or  attention.^ 

'  A  good  brief  book  on  the  problem  of  the  adolescent  is  E.  T. 
Swift,  Youth  and  the  Race;  another,  from  the  school  point  of 
view,  is  Irving  King,  The  High-School  Age,  which  has  much 
material  of  great  value  to  parents. 

173 


174    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

It  will  take  more  than  tearful  pleading  to  hold 
him  to  his  home;  he  can  be  held  only  by  its  min- 
istry to  him;  he  will  be  there  if  it  is  the  most 
attractive  place  for  him.  Some  parents  who  are 
praying  for  wandering  boys  would  know  why  they 
wandered  if  they  looked  calmly  at  the  crowded 
quarters  given  to  the  boy,  the  comfortless  room, 
the  makeshift  bed,  and  the  general  home  organ- 
ization which  long  ago  assumed  that  a  boy  could 
be  left  out  of  the  reckoning. 

The  boy  needs  a  part  in  the  family  activities. 
He  can  belong  only  to  that  to  which  he  can  give 
himself.  It  will  be  his  home  in  the  degree  that  he 
has  a  share  in  its  business.  Begin  early  to  confer 
with  him  about  your  plans;  make  him  feel  that 
he  is  a  partner.  See  that  he  has  a  chance  to  do 
part  of  the  work,  not  only  its  "chores,"  but  also 
its  forms  of  service.  But  even  a  boy's  attitude 
to  the  "chores"  will  depend  on  whether  they  are 
a  responsibility  with  a  degree  of  dignity  or  a  form 
of  unpaid  drudgery.  His  room  should  be  his  own 
room,  and  he  should  be  responsible  for  its  neatness 
and  its  adorning.  Services  which  he  does  regu- 
larly for  all  should  receive  regular  compensation. 
In  all  services  which  the  home  renders  for  others 
he  should  have  a  share;  this  is  his  training  for  the 
larger  citizenship  and  society  of  service.^ 

'  On  the  various  activities  of  boys  see  W.  A.  McKeever, 

Training  the  Boy. 


The  Boy  and  Girl  in  the  Family      175 

The  boy  is  a  playing  animal.  Not  all  homes 
can  be  fully  equipped  with  play  apparatus.  But 
no  parents  have  a  right  to  choose  family  quarters 
as  though  children  needed  nothing  but  meals  and 
beds.  The  shame  of  the  modern  apartment  build- 
ing is  that  its  conveniences  are  all  for  passive  adults. 
To  attempt  to  train  an  active,  growing,  vigorous, 
playing  human  creature  in  one  of  these  immense 
fiUng-cases,  where  all  persons  are  shot  up  elevators 
and  filed  away  in  pigeonholes  called  rooms,  is  to 
force  him  out  to  the  life  of  the  streets.  The 
thoughtless  self-indulgence  of  modern  parents, 
seeking  only  to  live  without  physical  effort,  is  the 
cause  of  much  juvenile  delinquency.^ 

But  play  for  the  boy  is  more  than  shouting  and 
running  in  the  grass  and  among  trees ;  he  needs  books 
and  opportunities  for  indoor  recreation.  For  the 
sake  of  the  lad  we  had  better  sacrifice  the  guest-room 
if  necessary,  and  make  way  for  the  punching-bag  and 
the  home  billiard- table  or  pool -table;  here  is  a  mag- 
net of  innocent  skilful  play  to  draw  him  off  the  street 
and  to  bring  the  boy  and  his  friends  under  his  own 
roof.  If  possible  his  room  ought  to  be  the  place 
that  is  his  own,  where  his  friends  may  come,  where 
he  may  taste  the  beginnings  of  the  joys  of  home- 
living  in  receiving  them  and  entertaining  them.^ 

'  See  the  notable  report  by  Breckinridge  and  Abbott,  The 
Delinquent  Child  and  the  Home. 

'  On  the  gregarious  instincts  see  J.  A.  Puffer,  The  Boy  and  His 
Gang. 


176    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

A  workbench  in  the  attic  or  basement  has  saved 
many  a  boy  from  the  street.  Such  apparatus  truly 
interferes  with  the  symmetrical  plan  of  a  home  that 
is  designed  for  the  entertainment  of  the  neighbors; 
but  famiUes  must  some  time  choose  between  chairs 
and  children,  between  the  home  for  the  purpose  of 
the  lives  in  it  and  the  household  for  the  purpose 
of  a  salon. ^ 

§  2.    religious  service 

In  the  religious  family  there  is  valuable  oppor- 
tunity to  train  youth  to  one  form  of  participation 
in  the  religious  Hfe.  Whatever  the  family  gives 
or  does  for  social  service,  for  philanthropic  enter- 
prises, for  the  support  of  the  church  or  reUgious 
work,  ought  to  be,  not  the  gift  of  one  member  or 
of  the  heads  alone,  but  of  the  whole  family,  extend- 
ing itself  in  service  through  the  community,  the 
nation,  and  the  world.  The  form  and  the  amount 
of  the  gifts  ought  to  be  a  matter  of  family  con- 
ference and  each  member  ought  early  to  have  the 
opportunity  and  the  means  of  determining  his 
share  in  such  extension.  The  child's  gifts  to  the 
church  should  not  be  pennies  thrust  into  his  hand 
as  he  crosses  the  threshold  of  home  for  the  Sunday 
school,  but  his  own  money,  from  his  own  account 
— partly  his  own  direct  earnings — appropriated 
for  this  or  for  other  purposes  by  himself  and  with 

'  See  the  books  on  manual  work  given  in  chap,  vii,  "Directed 
Activity." 


The  Boy  and  Girl  in  the  Family      177 

the  advice  of  his  parents.  Family  councils  on 
forms  of  participation  in  ideal  activities,  by  gifts 
and  by  service,  bind  the  whole  Hfe  together  and 
form  occasions  in  which  the  child  is  learning  hfe 
in  terms  of  loving,  self-giving  service.* 

The  boy  needs  friendship.  Not  all  his  needs 
can  be  met  by  the  schoolboys  whom  he  may  bring 
into  his  room,  nor  can  they  all  be  met  by  his 
mother's  affection.  He  needs  a  father.  The  most 
serious  obstacle  to  the  religious  education  of  boys 
is  that  most  of  them  are  half -orphans ;  intel- 
lectually and  spiritually  they  have  no  fathers. 
The  American  ideal  seems  to  be  that  the  man 
shall  be  the  money-maker,  the  woman  the  social 
organizer,  and  the  children  shall  be  committed  to 
hired  shepherds  or  left  to  shift  for  themselves. 

§  3.      THE   FATHER   AND   THE   BOY 

No  one  else  can  be  quite  the  teacher  for  the  boy 
that  his  father  ought  to  be.  No  man  can  ever 
commit  to  another,  still  less  to  some  tract  or  book, 
the  duty  of  guiding  his  boy  to  sanity  and  conse- 
cration in  the  matter  of  the  sex  problems. 

The  first  word  that  needs  to  be  said  on  this  sub- 
ject is  that  such  problems  receive  safe  and  sufficient 

'On  the  religious  life  of  the  boy  in  relation  to  society  and 
the  church  see  Allan  Hoben,  The  Minister  and  the  Boy,  and 
the  author's  treatment  of  boys  and  the  Sunday  school  in  Efficiency 
in  the  Sunday  School,  chap,  xiv;  also  J.  Alexander  et  al.,  Training 
the  Boy,  a  symposium. 


178    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

guidance  only  in  the  atmosphere  of  affection  and 
reverence.  Do  not  attempt  to  teach  this  boy  of 
yours  as  though  you  were  dealing  with  a  class  in 
physiology.  The  largest  thing  you  can  do  for  him 
is  to  quicken  a  reverence  for  the  body  and  for  the 
functions  of  Hfe.  By  your  own  attitude,  by  your 
own  expressions  and  opinions,  lead  him  to  a  hatred 
and  abhorrence  of  the  base,  filthy,  and  bestial,  to 
a  healthy  fear  and  detestation  of  all  that  despoils 
and  degrades  manhood,  and  to  a  reverence  for 
purity,  beauty,  and  life.^ 

Be  prepared  to  give  him,  on  the  basis  of  rever- 
ence, the  clean,  clear  facts.  Be  sure  you  have  the 
facts.  Do  not  think  he  is  ignorant;  he  is  in  a  world 
seething  with  conversation,  stories,  pictures,  and 
experiences  of  evil.  The  trouble  is  that  his  facts 
are  partial,  distorted,  and  unbalanced  by  positive 
errors;  his  knowledge  is  gained  from  the  street 
and  the  school-yard.  Only  a  personal  teacher  can 
help  him  unravel  the  good  from  the  bad,  the  true 
from  the  false.  Do  not  trust  to  your  own  general 
knowledge;  take  time  to  read  one  of  the  simple 
and  sane  books  on  this  subject.^  Be  ready  to  lead 
him  aright.     Remember    this    subject    has    pro- 

'  On  the  attitude  of  reverence  in  this  question  read  Dr.  Cabot's 
fine  essay,  The  Christian  Approach  to  Social  Morality. 

^  The  works  of  Dr.  W.  S.  Hall,  From  Boyhood  to  Manhood, 
for  parents'  guidance  with  boys  of  thirteen  to  eighteen;  E.  Lyttle- 
ton,  Training  of  the  Young  in  Laws  of  Sex,  is  excellent  for  fathers; 
Reproduction  and  Sexual  Hygiene  is  a  text  for  older  youth  to  be 
recommended;  also,  for  reading,  N.  E.  Richardson,  Sex  Culture 
Talks,  D.  S.  Jordan,  The  Strength  of  Being  Clean. 


The  Boy  and  Girl  in  the  Family      179 

yoked  a  large  number  of  books,  many  of  which  are 
fooKsh  and  others  unwholesome.  Do  not  try  to 
deputize  your  duty  to  some  doubtful  book. 

§  4.      FATHERING   THE   BOY 

But  the  boy  needs  more  than  instruction  on  a 
special  subject;  he  needs  personality,  he  needs  the 
time  and  thought  of,  and  personal  contact  with> 
his  father.  Men  who  do  not  live  with  boys  never 
know  what  they  lose.  And  alas,  see  what  the  boy 
misses !  He  has  been  his  mother's  boy  up  to  school 
age  when  school  takes  him  and  gives  him  a  woman's 
guidance,  while  the  Sunday  school  is  likely  to  keep 
him — for  a  while  only — under  the  eye  of  some  dear 
sister  who  ''just  loves  boys."  The  system  is  a 
vicious  one.  The  lad  needs  developed  masculinity. 
If  he  gets  it  neither  in  school  nor  in  the  home  he 
will  find  it  on  the  street  corner,  through  the  vicious 
boy-leader  of  the  degrading  poolroom  or  the  alleys. 

The  boy  who  finds  his  father  eager  to  talk  over 
the  game,  to  discuss  the  merits  of  peg-tops,  to 
walk,  row,  play,  and  work  with  him,  finds  it  as 
simple  and  natural  to  talk  with  him  over  his  moral 
and  religious  questionings  as  it  is  to  talk  over  the 
daily  happenings.  To  live  with  the  boy  is  to  find 
the  youth  with  you.  But  it  is  hard  work  dis- 
covering your  young  men  if  you  lost  your  boys.^ 

'  For  further  studies  of  the  problem  of  the  boy  parents  would 
do  well  to  read:  Building  Boyhood,  a  symposium;  W.  A. 
McKeever,  Training  the  Boy;  W.  B.  Forbush,  The  Coming 
Generation;  W.  D.  Hyde,  The  Quest  oj  the  Best, 


i8o    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

§  5.      THE   GROWING   GIRL 

Almost  all  that  has  been  said  about  the  boy 
applies  to  the  girl  of  the  same  years.  Let  a  special 
plea  be  entered  here  against  the  notion  that  girls  are 
favored  when  sheltered  from  a  share  in  the  activities 
of  the  home.  They  desire  to  express  their  ideals  as 
much  as  do  boys.  Much  of  the  so-called  craze  for 
amusements  is  due  to  the  fact  that  the  family  is  so 
organized  that  there  is  no  vent  to  the  ideals  there, 
no  chance  to  have  a  share  in  the  business  of  life. 
Young  folks  with  the  sense  that  "this  is  our  home," 
not  "our  parents',  but  ours,"  bend  their  energies  to 
its  adorning,  and  find  in  it  the  chance  to  realize 
some  of  their  passion  for  beauty  and  for  service.'' 

Mothers  usually  do  better  than  do  fathers  in 
the  matter  of  sex  instruction.  Yet  they  usually 
begin  too  late,  long  after  the  little  girl  has  acquired 
much  misleading  information  in  the  school.  Here, 
too,  the  first  aim  must  be  to  quicken  reverence  for 
Hfe,  to  set  up  the  conception  of  the  beauty  and 
dignity  of  sex  functions  before  the  baser  mind  of 
the  street  has  had  an  opportunity  to  interpret  them 
in  terms  of  the  dirt.^ 

Above  all,  with  boys  and  girls,  the  whole  subject, 
including  marriage  and  the  founding  of  a  family, 

'  On  activities  see  W.  A.  McKeever,  Training  the  Girl. 

^  On  the  problem  with  young  children  see  M.  Morley,  The 
Renewal  of  Life;  in  connection  with  older  girls  see  K.  H.  Wayne, 
Building  Your  Girl. 


The  Boy  and  Girl  in  the  Family      i8i 

must  ever  be  treated  with  dignity  and  reverence. 
Foolish  parents  jest  with  their  girls  about  their 
beaux  and  boast  that  their  httle  ones  are  playing 
at  courtship.  If  they  could  realize  the  wonder 
awakened,  followed  by  pain  and  then  by  hardened 
sensibilities  and  coarsened  ideals,  they  would  sacri- 
fice their  jests  for  the  sake  of  the  child's  soul.  We 
wonder  that  youth  treats  Hghtly  the  matter  of 
social  purity  when  we  have  treated  the  sacred  rela- 
tions of  Ufe  as  a  jest.  If  this  family  in  which  they 
now  live  is  to  be  a  place  of  sacred  associations,  of 
real  religious  Ufe,  the  whole  matter  of  marriage  and 
the  family  must  be  treated  with  reverence.  Their 
practice  will  not  rise  above  our  everyday  ideals  as 
expressed  in  casual  conversation  and  in  our  own 
practice. 

I.    References  for  Study 

THE   BOY 

W.  A.  McKeever,  Training  the  Boy,  Part  III.     Macmillan, 

$1 .  5o- 
Boy    Training,    Part    IV.      A    Symposium.      Associated 

Press. 
Johnson,   The  Problems  of  Boyhood.     The  University  of 

Chicago  Press,  $i.oo. 

THE    GIRL 

Margaret  Slattery,  The  Girl  in  Her  Teens,  chaps,  iv,  vii. 

Sunday  School  Times  Co.,  $0.50. 
Wayne,  Building  Your  Girl.    McClurg,  $0.  50. 


1 82    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

II.    Further  Reading 

W.  B.  Forbush,  The  Coming  Generation.     Appleton,  $i .  50. 
Puffer,   The  Boy  and  His  Gang.     Houghton  Mifflin  Co., 

$I.CX3. 

Irving  King,  The  High  School  Age.     Bobbs-Merrill,  $1.00. 
Building  Childhood,  A  Symposium.     Sunday  School  Times 
Co.,  $1.00. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1 .  What  are  the  special  needs  of  the  growing  boy  ? 

2.  What  are  the  things  that  a  boy  enjoys  in  his  home  ? 

3.  In  what  way  does  city  life  interfere  with  the  natural 
development  of  the  child  ? 

4  What  are  some  of  the  natural  expressions  of  religion 
for  a  boy  ? 

5.  How  early  should  the  sex  instruction  begin  ? 

6.  What  does  a  father  owe  to  the  boy,  and  what  are  the 
best  methods  of  meeting  the  duty  ? 

7.  What  are  the  normal  activities  for  girls  in  the  home  ? 

8.  What  are  their  especial  needs  ? 


CHAPTER  XVI 

THE  NEEDS  OF  YOUTH 

Families  are  for  the  spiritual  development  of 
youth  as  well  as  of  childhood.  The  home  is  for 
the  young  people  as  well  as  for  the  younger  ones. 
But  the  very  period  when  they  slip  from  church 
school  is  also  the  period  when  they  are  often  lost 
to  the  real  life  of  the  family.  In  some  measure 
this  is  due  to  the  natural  development  of  the  social 
life.  The  youths  go  out  to  work,  move  forward 
into  enlarging  social  groups  which  demand  more 
of  their  free  time.  They  are  learning  the  life  of  the 
larger  world  of  which  they  are  now  a  part. 

§  I.      THE   SCHOOL   OF   YOUTH 

But  the  family  is  still  the  home  of  these  young 
people;  normally  it  is  still  the  most  vital  edu- 
cational influence  for  them.  Yet  there  is  no  prob- 
lem more  baffling  than  that  of  family  ministry  for, 
and  leadership  of,  the  higher  life  of  youth. 

It  is  a  short-measure  interpretation  of  the  home 
which  thinks  of  it  as  only  for  young  children  and 
old  folks.  The  young  men  and  women  from  sixteen 
to  twenty  and  over  still  need  training  and  direction ; 
they  need  close  touch  with  other  lives  in  affection 
and  in  an  ideal  atmosphere.     In  a  few  years  they, 

183 


184    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

too,  will  be  home-makers,  and  here  m  the  home 
they  are  very  directly  learning  the  art  of  family 
life. 

For  youth  there  are  few  effective  schools,  out- 
side the  home,  other  than  the  streets  and  the  places 
of  commercialized  amusement.  Even  where  the 
other  agencies  of  training  are  used,  such  as  college, 
classes,  and  associations  (such  as  the  Y.M.C.A. 
and  the  Y.W.C.A.),  life,  at  that  period,  needs  the 
restraints  on  selfishness  that  come  from  family  life, 
the  refining  and  sociaHziug  power  of  the  family 
group. 

§  2.      SPECIAL  NEEDS   OF   YOUTH 

What  are  the  special  needs  of  youth  upon  which 
the  family  may  base  a  reasonable  program  for  their 
higher  needs  ? 

First,  the  need  of  sound  physical  health.  This 
is  a  period  of  physical  adjustment.  Rapid  bodily 
growth  is  nearly  or  quite  at  an  end;  new  functions 
are  asserting  themselves.  The  new  demands  for 
directed  activity  may,  under  the  ambitious  im- 
pulses of  youth,  make  undue  drafts  on  the  energies. 
The  apparent  moodiness  that  at  times  characterizes 
this  period  may  be  due  to  poor  health.  The  moral 
strain  of  the  period  will  need  sound  muscles  and 
good  health.  Parents  who  would  sit  up  aU  night 
— perhaps  involuntarily — when  the  baby  has  the 
colic  treat  with  indifference  sickness  in  youth  and 


The  Needs  of  Youth  185 

too  readily  assume  that  the  young  man  or  the 
young  woman  will  outgrow  these  physical  ills. 
But  bodily  maladjustment  or  incapacity  has  most 
serious  character  effects.  To  live  the  right  Hfe 
and  render  high  service  one  needs  to  be  a  whole 
person,  with  opportunity  to  give  undi\dded  atten- 
tion and  undiminished  powers  to  the  struggle  of 
Ufe. 

Secondly,  this  is  peculiarly  the  period  of  the  joy 
of  friendships.  The  social  nature  must  have  its 
food.  This  young  man  has  discovered  that  the 
world  consists  of  something  besides  things;  it  is 
full  of  people.  He  is  just  learning  that  they  are  all 
persons  hke  himself.  He  enters  the  era  of  conscious 
personal  relationships.  He  would  explore  the 
realm  of  personahty.  He  touches  great  heights 
of  happiness  as  other  lives  are  opened  to  him.  It 
is  all  new  and  wonderful,  this  reakn  of  personality, 
with  its  aspects  of  feeling,  thinking,  willing,  and 
longing. 

§  3.      MAINTAINING  FRIENDSHIP   WITH   YOUTH 

Do  parents  know  how  hungry  their  older  children 
are  for  their  friendship  ?  They  will  never  tell  us,  for 
this  world  is  too  new  and  strange  for  facile  descrip- 
tion; they  are  always  bashful  about  their  hunger 
for  persons  until  they  find  the  same  hunger  and 
joy  in  us.  We  imagine  that  they  are  indifferent 
to  us;    the  trouble  is  we  are  hidden  from  them. 


1 86    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

We  seldom  give  them  a  chance  to  talk  as  friend  to 
friend,  not  about  trifling  things,  but  about  life 
itself  and  what  it  means.  Perhaps  at  no  point  do 
parents  exhibit  less  ability  for  sympathetic  recon- 
struction and  interpretation  of  their  own  lives  than 
here.  They  recall  the  pleasures  of  childhood  and 
provide  those  pleasures  for  the  children.  Why  not 
recall  the  hunger  of  eighteen  years  of  age  and  give 
these  youths  the  very  bread  of  our  own  inner 
selves  ?  Or  do  we,  when  they  ask  this  bread,  give 
them  the  stone  of  mere  provision  for  their  physical 
needs  or  the  scorpion  of  careless  indulgence  in 
things  that  debase  the  tastes  ? 

One  perplexing  phenomenon  must  not  be  over- 
looked: it  will  often  happen  that  young  people 
pass  through  a  period  of  what  appears  to  be 
parental  aversion.  There  will  sometimes  seem  to 
be  suspicion,  violent  opposition,  and  even  hatred 
of  parents.  This  is  no  occasion  for  despair.  It  is 
a  stage  of  development.  It  is  due  to  the  attempt 
of  a  win  now  realizing  its  freedom  under  social 
conditions  to  adapt  itself  to  the  will  that  has 
hitherto  directed  it.  To  some  degree  the  sex 
consciousness,  which  leads  to  viewing  the  parents 
in  a  new  hght,  may  enter  in.  It  may  be  easily 
made  permanent,  however,  if  parents  do  not  do 
two  things:  first,  adjust  themselves  and  their 
methods  to  the  new  social  freedom  of  the  youth, 
and,  secondly,  fling  open  the  doors  into  their  true 


The  Needs  of  Youth  187 

selves  now  fully  understandable  by  these  men  and 
women. 

But  the  family  life  must  make  provision  for  the 
wider  friendships  of  youth.  Somewhere  this  insa- 
tiable appetite  for  the  reality  of  Lives  will  feed. 
Groups  of  friends  your  young  man  and  woman  will 
find  somewhere.  If  they  cannot  bring  them  into 
your  home  they  will  go  elsewhere.  You  can 
scarce  pay  any  price  too  high  for  the  opportunity 
that  comes  when  they  are  perfectly  free  to  have 
their  friends  with  them  and  with  you,  when  home 
becomes  the  natural  place  of  the  social  meetmgs  of 
youth.  If  you  are  afraid  of  the  wear  on  the  furni- 
ture you  may  keep  your  furniture,  but  you  will  lose 
a  life  or  lives.  Here  is  the  opportunity  of  the 
home  to  enter  a  wider  ministry,  to  be  a  place  of  the 
joy  of  friendships  to  many  lives. 

§  4.      AT   THE   DOOR   OF   A   NEW   WORLD 

As  through  friendships  the  youth  enters  and 
explores  this  wonderful  realm  of  personality  he 
will  find  some  persons  more  wonderful  than  others. 
Those  instincts  of  which  he  is  largely  unconscious 
will  impel  him  to  make  a  selection.  The  same  law 
is  operative  with  the  young  woman.  Mating  is 
normally  always  first  on  the  higher  levels  of  person- 
alities; it  first  calls  itself  friendship,  nor  does  it 
think  farther.  But  father  and  mother,  if  they  have 
the  least  spiritual  vision,  stand  in  awe  as  they  see 


1 88    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

their  children  taking  their  first  evident  steps  toward 
home-making.     What  an  opportunity  is  theirs! 

Yet  here,  as  the  home  faces  its  duty  toward  a 
family  yet  to  be,  is  just  where  some  of  the  most 
serious  mistakes  are  made.  This  is  no  time  for 
teasing  and  jesting,  still  less  for  mocking  ridicule. 
If  you  treat  this  essentially  sacred  step  as  a  joke 
it  will  not  be  strange  if  the  young  people  follow  suit 
and  take  marriage  as  a  yet  larger  joke.  The  home 
is  the  place  where  the  home  is  treated  most  irrever- 
ently. Of  course  one  must  not  take  too  seriously 
those  *'calf"  courtships,  prematurely  fostered  by 
boys  and  girls,  under  the  pressure  of  the  high-school 
tendency  to  anticipate  all  of  Hfe's  riper  experiences. 
But  even  here  jesting  and  teasing  will  only  tend  to 
confirm  and  make  permanent  what  would  be  but  a 
temporary  aberration.  In  that  case  either  silence 
or  kindly,  simple  advice  will  help  most  of  all. 

To  young  people  who  think  at  all  courtship  has 
its  times  of  vision,  when  they  stand  trembhng 
before  the  unknown  future,  when  they,  with  youth's 
ideaUsm,  make  high  vows  and  stand  on  high  places. 
Give  them  at  least  the  opportunity  to  enter  your 
inmost  self,  to  find  there  all  the  Hght  you  can  give 
them  and  all  the  memory  of  your  own  joys  and 
hopes.  Make  them  feel,  though  you  need  not  say 
it,  that  they  are  at  the  threshold  of  a  temple.  If 
to  you  this  is  an  affair  of  the  spirit  it  will  be  a 
matter  of  religion  to  them. 


The  Needs  of  Youth  189 

Approached  in  such  a  temper,  many  of  the 
practical  problems  of  courtship  settle  themselves. 
Take  the  case  of  the  young  man  at  home.  If  he 
knows  that  you  think  with  him  of  the  high  mean- 
ing of  this  experience  he  will  not  hesitate  to  bring 
the  young  woman  to  the  home.  She  will  feel  your 
attitude.  Upon  this  level  questions  of  times  and 
seasons,  hours  in  the  parlor,  and  all  the  matters  of 
their  relations  will  settle  themselves.  If  you  treat 
courtship  as  a  matter  of  the  spirit  he  will  do  just 
what  he  most  of  all  wants  to  do,  treat  this  woman 
who  is  to  be  his  mate  as  a  person,  a  spirit,  with 
reverence  and  love  that  lifts  itself  above  lust. 
This  is  the  only  ground  upon  which  you  can  appeal 
to  either  in  matters  of  conduct  at  this  time.  The 
conventions  of  society  they  will  despise;  but  the 
inner  law  speaks  to  them  when  the  outer  letter  has 
no  meaning. 

§  5.      THE   SOCIAL  LIFE 

We  must  expect  our  children  to  go  out  into  their 
larger  world.  The  beginning  of  adolescence  is  the 
normal  time  of  their  social  awakening,  their  con- 
version from  a  nature  that  turns  in  upon  itself  to 
one  that  moves  out  into  a  world  of  persons.  For 
them,  now,  the  home  group  ought  to  be  seen  as  a 
society  as  well  as  a  family,  as  the  social  group 
gathering  about  a  definite  ideal  and  mission  into 
which  they  should  dehght  to  project  themselves. 


iQo    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

The  appeal  of  religion  is  peculiarly  vivid  just  now, 
for  it  involves  a  recognition  of  one's  self  as  a  person 
with  the  power  of  personal  choices  and  with  the 
opportunity  to  find  association  with  other  persons. 
The  family  must  aid  its  young  people  to  see  the 
opportunity  which  the  church  offers  for  ideal 
social  relationships  which  direct  themselves  to 
high  and  attractive  service. 

§  6.      AMUSEMENTS 

What  should  the  family  do  about  the  question 
of  the  amusements  of  young  people  ? 

Healthy  young  persons  must  have  recreation. 
They  will  seek  it  on  its  highest  level  first  and  find 
their  way  down  the  facile  descent  of  commercial- 
ized amusements  only  as  the  higher  opportunities 
are  denied  them.  They  would  always  rather  play 
than  be  played  to;  they  would  rather,  where  early 
labor  has  not  sapped  vitality,  play  outdoors  than 
sit  in  a  fetid  atmosphere  watching  tawdry  spec- 
tacles. But  play,  the  idealization  of  life's  expe- 
riences, they  will  find  somewhere.  To  this  need 
the  home  must  minister  by  the  provision  of  space, 
time,  opportunity,  and  the  means  of  play.  If 
through  either  sloth,  selfishness,  preoccupation, 
or  a  mistaken  idea  of  an  empty  innocence  of  life 
you  make  recreation  and  social  intercourse  impos- 
sible in  the  family,  the  young  people  will  find  it  on 
the  street  or  in  the  crowd.     In  the  family  that  plans 


The  Needs  of  Youth  191 

for  recreation  and  provides  facilities  and  time  for 
young  people  to  play  the  problem  is  a  minor  one. 

But  young  people  will  naturally  desire  to  project 
themselves  into  the  social  amusements  of  the  larger 
groups.  Then  we  ought  to  know  what  those 
amusements  are;  we  must  be  able  to  advise,  from 
actual  knowledge,  not  from  hearsay  or  prejudice, 
as  to  the  healthful  and  worth  while.  The  home 
must  insist  on  the  provision  in  the  community  for 
the  safe  socialization  of  amusements.  The  thou- 
sands of  young  girls  in  the  cities,  who  tramp  the 
pavements  down  to  dance  halls,  primarily  are  only 
seeking  the  satisfaction  of  a  normal  craving;  and 
they,  on  their  way  to  the  dance  halls,  pass  the 
splendid  plants  of  the  schools  and  the  churches, 
standing  dark  and  idle.  Families  must  develop 
a  public  opinion  that  will  demand,  for  the  sake  of 
their  young  people,  a  provision  for  amusement  and 
recreation  that,  instead  of  poisoning  the  Hfe,  shall 
strengthen,  dignify,  and  elevate  it.  If  the  demand 
for  clean  drinking-water  is  a  proper  one,  is  the 
demand  for  healthful  food  for  the  life  of  ideals 
less  so  ? 

There  can  be  no  doubt  of  the  attitude  of  any 
home  with  the  least  conscience  for  character  toward 
all  forms  of  public  amusements  in  which  young 
people  are  herded  promiscuously  for  the  mere 
purpose  of  killing  time  in  trivialities.  The  ''white 
cities"  with  their  glittering  Hghts  and  baubles  are 


192    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

often  moral  plague  colonies.  The  amusements 
debase  the  intellect,  blunt  the  moral  sensibilities, 
and  appeal  to  the  baser  passions.  They  are  the 
low-water  mark,  we  may  hope,  of  commercialized 
amusement.  But  they  remind  us  that  young 
people  demand  company  and  change  from  the 
monotony  of  the  day's  toil.  They  ask  us  as 
to  the  provision  we  are  making  for  young  people 
and  challenge  us  to  use  their  inclinations  for 
good. 

But  besides  these  "shows"  there  are  many  dig- 
nified forms  of  social  recreation.  Good  music  is 
to  be  heard  and  good  plays  are  to  be  seen. 

The  theater,  whether  of  the  regular  drama  or  of 
the  motion-picture  type,  offers  a  perplexing  prob- 
lem, principally  because,  in  the  first  place,  American 
people  have  been  too  busy  conquering  a  new  soil 
and  making  a  Uving  to  give  careful  thought  to 
the  social  side  of  aesthetics  and  recreation,  and, 
secondly,  because  the  ministry  of  social  recreation 
has  fallen  almost  entirely  under  the  dominance  of 
the  same  trend;  it  has  been  thoroughly  commer- 
cialized. We  cannot  cut  the  puzzling  knot  by 
simply  prohibiting  all  forms  of  public  theatrical 
entertainment.  For  one  reason,  these  forms  shade 
off  imperceptibly  from  the  church  service  to  the 
extremes  of  the  vaudeville.  But  the  simple  fact 
is  that  we  no  longer  indiscriminately  class  all 
theaters  as  baneful  and  immoral ;  we  are  coming  to 


The  Needs  of  Youth  193 

see  their  potentialities  for  good.  If  the  young  will 
go,  as  they  will — and  ought — to  the  theater,  and 
if  the  theater  can  lift  their  ideals,  parents  would 
do  well  to  guide  their  children  in  this  matter  and 
to  enhst  the  aid  of  the  theater. 

It  is  worth  while  to  come  to  a  sympathetic  under- 
standing of  the  place  of  the  drama  and  the  opera, 
to  see  what  they  have  meant  in  the  education  of  the 
race  and  what  is  the  significance,  to  us,  of  the  fact 
of  the  strong  dramatic  instinct  in  childhood.  Natu- 
rally the  subject  can  only  be  mentioned  here  and 
the  suggestion  be  offered  that  parents  take  time 
to  cultivate  an  appreciation  of  good  orchestral  and 
concert  music  and  of  the  drama. 

The  social  life  will  find  outlet  in  other  directions. 
Young  people  need  our  aid  to  find  social  groups 
which  will  inspire  and  develop  them,  especially 
groups  that  are  serviceful. 

§  7.      THE   CALL   TO   SERVICE 

This  is  the  period  when  ideals  begin  to  give 
direction  to  the  hitherto  undirected  activity  of 
childhood  and  youth.  Young  people  are  idealists. 
They  see  no  height  too  giddy,  no  task  too  hard, 
no  dream  too  roseate,  and  no  hope  unattainable. 
If  the  times  are  out  of  joint  they  believe  they  were 
''born  to  set  them  right."  Whatever  is  wrong  or 
imperfect  they  would  take  a  hand  in  setting  it 
right.    We  know  we  felt  that  way,  but  we  are 


194    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

loath  to  believe  our  children  also  cherish  their  high 
hopes.  And  so  the  tendency  of  the  adult  is  to 
treat  with  cynicism  the  dreams  of  youth.  Often 
we  sedulously  endeavor  to  pervert  him  to  our 
blase  view  of  the  world ;  we  would  have  him  believe 
it  is  a  fated  heap  of  cinders  instead  of  an  almost 
new  thing  to  be  formed  and  made  perfect.  In  the 
home  those  ideals  must  be  nourished  and  guided. 
See  that  at  hand  there  are  the  songs  and  essays  of 
the  idealists.  Give  them  Emerson  and  forget  3^our 
Nietzsche.  Renew  your  own  youth.  Get  some 
of  Isaiah's  passion  and  let  it  breathe  its  fervor  on 
them.  Feed  by  poem,  song,  story,  essay,  and 
conversation  the  life  of  ideals. 

Stop  long  enough  to  see  the  life  that  Uke  an 
engine  with  steam  up  is  surely  going  somewhere 
and  help  it  to  find  an  engineer.  We  call  this  the 
period  of  sowing  wild  oats.  Wild  oats  are  simply 
energies  invested  in  the  wrong  places.  The 
dynamic  of  youth  must  go  somewhere  and  do  some- 
thing. Fundamentally  it  would  rather  go  to  the 
good  than  the  bad.  We  know  that  this  was  true 
of  us  at  that  time;  why  should  we  assume  less  of 
others?  Hold  to  your  faith  in  youth.  Fathers 
who  with  open  eyes  and  active  minds — not  with 
sleepy  fatalism — believe  in  their  boys,  have  boys 
who  believe  in  them. 

They  wait  for  leadership.  If  you  have  dropped 
into  the  easy  slippers  of  indifference  to  social  reform 


The  Needs  of  Youth  195 

and  other  types  of  ideal  service,  get  back  into  the 
fight  again  beside  this  new  man  of  yours. 

They  wait  for  friendship  in  this  matter  of  their 
ideals  and  their  service.  At  any  cost  keep  open 
house  of  the  heart. 

They  wait  for  a  life-task.  This  is  the  period  of 
vocational  choice.  It  will  make  a  tremendous 
difference  to  this  Hfe  whether  his  work  shall  be 
merely  a  matter  of  making  a  Kving  or  shall  be  his 
chance  to  invest  life  in  accordance  with  his  new 
ideals.  Shall  he  go  out  to  be  merely  one  of  the 
many  wage-earners  or  salary-winners  to  whom  life 
is  a  great  orange  from  which  he  will  get  all  the 
juice  if  he  can,  regardless  of  who  else  goes  thirsty  ? 
Or  shall  he  see  an  occupation  as  his  chance  to  pay 
back  to  today  and  tomorrow  that  which  he  owes  to 
yesterday  ?  as  his  chance  to  give  the  world  himself  ? 
He  need  not  be  a  minister  or  a  missionary  to  make 
his  Hfe  a  ministry;  he  will  find  life,  he  will  be  a 
rehgious  person  in  no  other  way  than  as  his 
dominating  motive  shall  be  to  find  the  fulness  of 
life  in  order  to  have  a  full  Hfe  to  give  to  God's 
world.  The  answer  will  depend  on  what  life  means 
to  you,  how  you  are  interpreting  it,  and  how  you 
aid  him  in  thinking  of  it  and  making  his  high  choice. 
You  will  have  abundant  opportunity  to  show  what 
it  is  to  you — as  you  have  been  doing  all  along — by 
your  daily  attitude ;  you  will  have  abundant  oppor- 
tunity to  talk  it  all  over,  for  he  will  certainly 


196    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

discuss  his  trade  or  profession  with  you.  The 
family  must  give  to  the  life  of  the  new  day  makers 
of  families  to  whom  life  means  a  chance  to  realize 
the  God-vision  of  the  world. 

I.     References  por  Study 

H.  C.  King,  Personal  and  Ideal  Elements  in  Education,  pp. 

105-27.     Macmillan,  $1.50. 
E.  D.  Starbuck,  The  Psychology  of  Religion,  chaps,  xvi- 

xxi.     Scribner,  $1 .  50. 

II.    Further  Reading 

I.      ON   YOUTH 

C.  R.  Brown,  The  Young  Man's  Affairs.     Crowell,  $1.00. 
Wayne,  Building  the  Young  Man.     McClurg,  $0.  50. 
Swift,  Youth  and  the  Race.     Scribner,  $1 .  50. 
Wilson,  Making  the  Most  of  Ourselves.     McClurg,  $1 .  00. 

2.      ON  RECREATIONS 

L.  C.  Lillie,  The  Story  of  Music  and  the  Musicians.  Harper, 
$0.60. 

Gustav  Kobbe,  How  to  Appreciate  Music.    Moffat,  $1 .  50. 

P.  Chubb,  Festivals  and  Plays.     Harper,  $2.00. 

Dramatics  in  the  Home,  Children  in  the  Theater,  Problems  of 
Dramatic  Plays,  monographs  published  by  the  Ameri- 
can Institute  of  Child  Life.     Philadelphia,  Pa. 

L.  H.  Gulick,  Popular  Recreation  and  Public  Morality. 
American  Unitarian  Association.     Free. 

M.  Fowler,  Morality  of  Social  Pleasures.  Longmans, 
$1.00. 

Addams,  The  Spirit  of  Youth  and  the  City  Streets.  Mac- 
millan, $1 . 25. 


The  Needs  of  Youth  197 

The  moving-picture  or  cinema  presents  a  problem  to 
parents;  see  Herbert  A.  Jump,  The  Religious  Possi- 
bilities of  the  Motion  Picture  (a  pamphlet)  and  Vaude- 
ville and  Moving  Pictures,  a  report  of  an  investi- 
gation in  Portland,  Ore.     Reed  College  Record,  No.  16. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  are  the  reasons  why  young  people  leave  home  ? 

2.  Where  do  the  young  men  and  young  women  whom  you 
know  spend  their  evenings  ?     ^^'^ly  is  this  the  case  ? 

3.  Mention  the  special  needs  of  young  people  in  the 
family. 

4.  What  are  the  difficulties  in  maintaining  the  friendship 
of  our  young  people  ? 

5.  Have  you  ever  seen  evidences  of  the  phase  mentioned 
as  aversion  to  parents  ?     ' 

6.  What  are  some  common  mistakes  of  treating  the  sub- 
ject of  courtship  ? 

7.  What  are  the  special  social  needs  of  young  people  ? 

8.  What  is  the  religious  significance  of  the  period  of 
social  awakening  ? 

9.  What  are  the  special  dangerous  tendencies  in  public 
amusements  ? 

10.  How  does  the  social  instinct  express  itself  in  social 
service  ? 

1 1 .  What  of  the  relation  of  "wild  oats  "  to  directed  work  ? 

12.  What  may  be  done  for  vocational  direction  in  the 
family  ? 


CHAPTER  XVII 
THE  FAMILY  AND  THE  CHURCH 

If  the  family  is  engaged  in  the  development  of 
religious  character  through  its  Hfe  and  organization, 
it  ought  somehow  to  find  very  close  relations  with 
the  other  great  social  institution  engaged  in  pre- 
cisely the  same  work,  the  church.  Both  churches 
and  homes  are  agencies  of  religious  education.  In 
a  state  which  separates  the  ecclesiastical  and  the 
civil  functions,  where  freedom  of  conscience  is 
fully  maintained,  these  two  are  the  only  reUgious 
agencies  engaged  in  education. 

As  the  family  is  the  child's  first  society,  so  the 
local  church  should  be  the  child's  second,  larger, 
wider  society.  The  home  constitutes  the  first 
social  organization  for  hfe,  the  one  in  which  growing 
lives  prepare  for  the  wider  social  Uving.  Then 
should  come  the  next  forms  of  social  organization, 
the  school  and  the  church,  each  grouping  lives 
together  and  preparing  them,  by  actual  living,  for 
wider  circles  of  life. 

§  I.   RELATIONS  OF  CHURCH  AND  HOME 

Many  of  the  perplexing  problems  which  arise 
in  the  family,  as  an  institution,  in  respect  to  its 
relations  to  the  church,  and  as  to  the  developing 

198 


The  Family  and  the  Church  199 

relations  of  children  to  the  church,  would  be  largely 
solved  if  we  could  get  an  understanding  of  the 
fundamental  relations  of  these  two  institutions. 
The  institutional  difficulties  occur  because  these 
relations  appear  to  be  competitive.  Here  is  the 
family  with  its  interests  in  bread-winning,  com- 
forts, recreations,  and  pleasures,  and  on  the  oppo- 
site side,  making  apparently  competing  claims  for 
money,  time,  interest,  and  service,  stands  the 
church.  That  is  the  picture  unconsciously  forming 
in  many  minds.  There  is  more  or  less  feeling 
that  money  given  to  the  church  is  taken  from  the 
family  and  impoverishes  it  to  that  degree,  that 
time  given  to  the  church  is  grudgingly  spared  from 
the  pleasures  of  the  home,  that  it  is  always  a  moot 
question  which  of  the  two  institutions  shall  win  in 
the  conflict  of  interests. 

But  the  family  must  take  for  granted  the  church 
as  its  next  of  kin.  The  home  must  not  by  its  atti- 
tude and  conversation  assume  that  the  problems  of 
the  relationship  of  children  to  the  church  arise 
largely  from  the  opposite  concept,  as  though  these 
were  rival  institutions.  We  carelessly  think  of  the 
children  as  those  who,  now  belonging  to  us,  are  to 
be  persuaded  to  give  their  allegiance  to  another 
institution,  the  interests  of  which  are  in  a  different 
sphere.  We  think  of  the  church  as  an  independent 
thing  and  therefore  feel  quite  free  to  discuss  its 
merits  or  shortcomings  and   to   criticize  it  if  it 


200    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

fails  to  meet  our  standards,  just  as  we  would  criti- 
cize the  baker  for  soggy  or  short- weight  bread; 
to  our  minds,  the  church  is  something  set  ofif  in 
society,  separate  from  the  homes,  as  much  so  as 
the  schools  or  the  Hbrary  or  a  fraternal  lodge. 

This  thought  of  the  church  as  a  separate  some- 
thing, having  an  existence  independent  of  ourselves 
and  our  families,  leads  us  farther  astray  and  makes 
yet  more  difficult  the  development  of  right  relations 
between  the  church  and  the  children.  If  the 
church  is  a  thing  apart  we  can  analyze  its  imper- 
fections as  we  might  stand  and  ridicule  a  regiment 
of  raw  recruits.  It  marches  by  while  we  stand  on 
the  curb.  But  here,  surely,  is  one  of  the  simplest 
and  most  easily  forgotten  truisms:  the  church  is 
no  more  than  our  own  selves  associated  for  certain 
purposes.  If  the  church  fails  in  an  adequate 
ministry  for  children,  shall  we  condemn  it  as  we 
would  a  bridge  that  failed  to  carry  a  reasonable 
load  ?  We  do  but  condemn  ourselves.  If  my 
church  is  not  fit  to  send  my  children  to,  then  I 
must  help  to  make  it  fit.  Before  falling  back  on  the 
lazy  man's  salve  of  caustic  ridicule,  before  taking 
the  seat  of  the  scornful,  before  setting  in  the  child's 
mind  an  aversion  to  this  institution,  based  on  my 
opinion,  let  me  be  sure  I  have  done  all  that  lies 
in  my  power  to  better  it.  True,  I  am  only  one; 
but  surely,  where  so  many  family  tables  are  each 
Sunday  devoted  to  finding  fault  with  the  church 


The  Family  and  the  Church  201 

and  its  services,  I  can  find  many  others  who  will 
aid  in  at  least  stimulating  a  sense  of  personal 
responsibility  for  any  incompleteness  in  the  church. 

The  family  cannot  afford  to  take  the  attitude 
of  hostile  criticism,  for  it  is  thus  fighting  its  first 
and  most  natural  ally,  the  one  other  institution 
engaged  in  its  own  special  work.  If  the  forces  for 
spiritual  character  be  divided,  how  easily  do  the 
opposing  forces  enter  in  and  occupy!  The  family 
needs  the  support  of  the  wider  public  opinion 
of  the  church,  insisting  on  the  supremacy  of  right- 
eousness. The  family  needs  the  co-operation  of 
the  church  in  its  task  of  developing  religious  Hves. 
The  family  needs  the  power  of  this  larger  social 
body  controlling  social  conditions  and  making  them 
contributory  to  character  purposes.  The  family 
needs  the  stimulus  which  a  larger  group  can  give 
to  children  and  young  people. 

This  does  not  mean  that  we  must  never  criticize 
the  church.  It  is  not  set  off  in  a  niche  protected 
from  the  acid  of  secular  tongues  and  minds.  Minis- 
ters of  the  gospel  are  unduly  resentful  of  criticism, 
perhaps  because,  after  they  leave  the  seminary, 
no  one  has  a  fair  opportunity  to  controvert  their 
publicly  stated  opinions.  But  the  church  needs 
the  cleansing  powers  of  kindly,  wise,  creative 
criticism.  Anyone  can  find  fault,  but  he  is  wise 
who  can  show  us  a  better  way.  This  church  is 
the  family's  ally;   it  is  our  business  to  aid  her  to 


202    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

greater  effectiveness.  The  new  church  for  our 
own  day  awaits  the  services  of  the  men  of  today. 
The  purpose  of  the  family  is  the  basis  of  alUance 
with  the  church.  As  in  every  other  relation  and 
purpose  of  the  home,  so  here:  the  dominant 
factor  is  the  conscious  function  of  the  home  and 
family.  If  the  home  is  really  a  religious  institution 
it  will  seek  natural  alliance  with  all  other  truly 
religious  institutions.  Ideally,  what  is  a  church 
but  a  group  of  families  associated  for  religious 
purposes  ?  Is  not  the  church  simply  a  number  of 
families  co-operating  in  the  ideal  purposes  of  each 
family,  the  development  of  the  Hves  of  religious 
persons  and  the  control  of  social  conditions  for  the 
sake  of  that  purpose?  Without  entering  into 
disputation  as  to  the  relationship  of  little  children 
to  the  church,  is  there  not  just  this  relation  to  the 
numan  society  called  the  church,  that  it  is  a  group- 
ing of  families  for  the  purpose  of  the  divine  family  ? 

§  2.   THE  family  IDEAL  IN  THE  CHUUCH 

Would  there  be  any  question  as  to  the  natural- 
ness of  the  relation  of  our  children  to  the  church  if 
the  family  ideal  so  controlled  our  thinking  as  to 
saturate  theirs  ?  Is  not  this  the  present  need,  that 
both  family  and  church  shall  conceive  the  latter 
in  family  terms?  By  this  is  meant,  not  simply 
that  we  shall  think  of  what  is  called  "a  family 
church,"  a  church  into  which  we  succeed  in  pro- 


The  Family  and  the  Church    203 

jecting  our  families  in  a  fair  degree  of  integrity,  but 
that  we  shall  think  of  the  organization  and  mis- 
sion of  the  church  in  terms  of  family  life  and  of  the 
ideal  of  the  divine  family.  Keeping  in  mind  the 
general  definition  already  given  of  a  family  as 
persons  associated  for  the  development  of  spiritual 
persons,  let  us  hold  the  church  to  that  same  ideal; 
the  Uves  of  persons  associated  in  the  broadest 
fellowship  that  includes  both  God  and  man  for  the 
purposes  of  spiritual  personaHty.  The  church 
then  should  be  the  expression  of  that  family  of 
which  Jesus  often  spoke,  the  family  that  calls 
God  Father  and  man  brother. 

Closer  and  more  helpful  relations  between 
family  and  church  follow  where  the  principles  of 
the  family  prevail  in  the  latter.  The  family  is  an 
ideal  democracy  because  it  exists  primarily  for 
persons.  It  places  the  value  of  persons  first  of 
all.  So  with  the  true  church;  it  will  exist  to 
grow  lives  to  spiritual  fulness,  and  to  this  end  all 
buildings,  adornments,  exercises,  teachings,  and 
organizations  will  be  but  as  tools,  as  means  serving 
that  purpose.  As  the  family  sees  its  house,  table, 
and  activities  designed  to  personal  ends,  so  will  the 
church.  In  an  institution  existing  to  grow  lives, 
the  great  principle  of  democracy  and  of  the  family 
will  prevail,  viz.,  that  to  the  least  we  owe  the  most. 
Just  as  the  home  gives  its  best  to  the  little  child,  so 
will  the  church  place  the  child  in  the  midst.    Just 


204    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

as  the  home  exists  for  the  child  and  thus  holds  to 
itself  all  other  lives,  so  will  the  church  some  day 
exist  for  the  little  ones  and  so  hold  and  use  all  other 
lives. 

The  prime  difficulty  of  relating  the  children  in 
our  families  to  the  average  church  lies  in  the  fact 
that  they  are  children,  while  the  church  is  an  adult 
institution.  Its  buildings  are  designed  for  adults — 
save  in  rare  and  happy  exceptions;^  its  services 
are  designed  for  adults;  it  has  a  more  or  less 
extraneous  institution  called  a  school  for  the  chil- 
dren. The  church  spends  its  money  for  adults;  it 
compasses  sea  and  land  to  make  one  proselyte 
and  coerce  him  back  in  old  age,  and  allows  the 
many  that  already  as  children  are  its  ow^n  to  drift 
away.  It  often  fails  to  see  that  if  it  is  to  grow 
lives  it  must  grow  them  in  the  growing  period. 
There  still  remain  many  churches  that  must  be 
converted  from  the  selfishness  of  adult  ministry 
and  entertainment  to  self-giving  service  for  the 
development  of  spiritual  hves  and,  especially,  for 
the  development  of  such  lives  through  childhood 
and  youth.  They  must  hear  again  the  Master's 
voice  regarding  "these  Httle  ones,"  regarding  the 
significance  of  the  child.  And  all  must  be  loyal 
to  his  picture  of  his  Kingdom  as  a  family  and 

'  See  a  pamphlet  on  Church  School  Buildings  (free)  published  by 
the  Religious  Education  Association;  also  H.  F.  Evans,  The 
Sunday-School  Building  and  Its  Equipment. 


The  Family  and  the  Church  205 

must,  therefore,  do  what  all  true  families  do, 
become  child-centric.  A  church  in  which  children 
occupy  the  same  place  that  they  hold  in  an  ideal 
family  will  have  no  difficulty  in  finding  a  place 
for  the  children.  It  will  be  a  natural  and  unnoticed 
transition  from  the  family  life  in  the  home  to  the 
family  life  in  the  church. 

§  3.      A   PLACE   FOR  ALL   IN   THE   CHURCH 

The  family  may  help  directly  toward  the  realiza- 
tion of  this  ideal  by  an  insistence  on  the  family 
conception  and  the  family  program  in  the  church. 
Bring  the  children  with  you  to  the  church  and  seek 
to  find  there  a  place  for  each  as  natural  as  the  place 
he  occupies  in  the  home.  If  the  church  makes  no 
such  provision,  if  it  has  no  place  for  children,  in  the 
name  of  our  wider  spiritual  family  relationships 
we  must  demand  it.  Let  the  voice  of  the  family  be 
heard  insisting  on  suitable  buildings  and  specially 
designed  worship  for  child-life — suitable  forms  of 
service  and  activity.  Let  the  thought  that  goes 
to  furnish  these  in  the  home  be  carried  over  to 
provide  them  in  the  church. 

Parents  may  help  their  children  to  find  right 
relations  with  the  church  by  their  attitude  toward 
it  as  the  larger  family  group.  To  think  and  act 
toward  this  institution  as  our  home,  the  wider 
home  of  the  famihes,  is  to  establish  similar  habits 
of  thought  in  children.     Such  a  concept  is  not 


2o6    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

always  easy  to  maintain ;  the  church  includes  many 
of  different  habits  of  thought  from  ourselves, 
divergent  tastes  and  habits  of  general  Hfe,  Here 
one  must  exercise  the  family  principle  of  responsi- 
bility toward  the  weaker  and  immature.  This 
family,  the  church,  just  like  our  own  family, 
exists,  not  to  minister  to  our  tastes,  but  that  we 
may  all  minister  to  others. 

The  principal  service  which  the  family  may 
render  to  the  church  is,  then,  to  foster  an  inter- 
pretation and  view  of  the  latter  which  will  relate 
it  more  closely  to  the  home  and  will  make  it  evi- 
dently natural  for  child-life  to  move  out  into  this 
wider  social  organization  for  rehgious  culture 
and  service.  Surely  this  should  be  the  attitude 
toward  membership  in  the  church,  whether  that 
membership  begins  theoretically  in  infancy  or  in 
maturer  years ;  the  child  is  trained  to  see  the  church 
as  his  normal  society,  the  group  into  which  he 
naturally  moves  and  in  which  he  finds  his  oppor- 
tunity for  fellowship  and  service.  The  family  may 
well  hold  that  relationship  steadily  before  its 
members.  In  childhood  the  child  is  in  the  church 
in  the  fellowship  of  those  who  learn.  The  Sunday 
school  is  the  spiritual  family  in  groups  discovering 
the  way  of  the  rehgious  Hfe  and  the  art  of  its 
service.  The  fellowship  grows  closer  and  the 
sense  of  unity  deepens  as  the  child's  relationship 
passes  over  from  the  passive  to  the  active,  from 


The  Family  and  the  Church  207 

the  involuntary  to  the  voluntary — just  as  it  does 
in  the  home — and  develops,  as  the  child  comes  into 
social  consciousness,  into  a  recognition  of  himself 
as  belonging  to  a  social  organization  for  specific 
purposes. 

§  4.     child  unity  with  the  church 

At  some  time  every  child  of  church-attending 
parents  will  want  to  know  whether  he  ''belongs  to 
the  church."  One  must  be  very  careful  here, 
regardless  of  the  ecclesiastical  practice,  to  show 
the  child  that  he  is  essentially  one  with  this  body, 
this  religious  family.  He  may  be  too  young  to 
subscribe  his  name  to  its  roll,  but  he  belongs  at 
least  to  the  full  measure  of  unity  appreciable  by  his 
mind.  He  must  not  be  permitted  to  think  of 
himself  as  an  outsider.  Indeed,  no  matter  what 
our  the^ogy  may  hold,  every  religious  parent 
believes  that  his  children  belong  to  God.  Do  they 
not  also  belong  to  the  church  in  at  least  the  sense 
that  the  church  is  responsible  for  their  spiritual 
welfare  ? 

The  sense  of  unity  must  be  developed.  Writing 
the  child's  name  on  the  "  Cradle  Roll"  of  the  church 
school  may  help.  Assuming,  as  he  develops,  that 
he  is  a  part  of  this  spiritual  family,  naturally 
expecting  that  he  will  have  an  increasing  share  in 
its  life,  will  help  more.  Parents  who  dedicate 
their  children  to  God  pass  on  to  them  the  stimulus 


2o8    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

of  that  dedication.  A  church  service  of  dedica- 
tion is  likely  to  impress  them  with  a  feeling  of 
unity  with  the  church;  seeing  other  children  so 
dedicated  they  know  that  a  similar  occasion 
occurred  in  their  ovm  early  lives. 

The  forms  of  relationship  must  develop  with  the 
nature  of  the  child.  The  church  needs  not  only  a 
graded  curriculum  of  instruction  but  a  graded 
series  of  relationships  by  which  children,  step 
by  step,  come  into  closer  conscious  social  unity, 
each  step  determined  by  their  developing  needs 
and  capacities. 

It  is  easy  to  say  that  the  responsibiHty  lies  with 
the  church  to  provide  these  methods  of  attachment. 
But  the  church  we  have  been  sketchiag  is  a  con- 
geries of  families,  after  all,  and  it  will  do  just  what 
these  families,  particularly  the  parents  in  them, 
stimulate  it  to  do. 

§  5.     incidental  difficulties 

But  what  of  those  instances  in  which  parents 
are  convinced  that  the  church  does  not  furnish 
a  normal  and  healthy  atmosphere  for  the  child's 
spiritual  life  ?  There  are  churches  where  the 
Sunday  school  is  simply  a  training  school  in  insub- 
ordination, confusion,  and  irreverence,  or  where 
religion  is  so  taught  as  to  cultivate  superstition  and 
to  lead  eventually  either  to  a  painful  intellectual 
reconstruction  or  to  a  barren  denial  of  all  faith. 


The  Family  and  the  Church  209 

There  are  churches  of  one  type  so  devoted  to 
the  entertainment  of  adults,  to  the  ministry  to  the 
pride  of  the  flesh  and  the  lust  of  things,  that  a 
child  is  likely  to  be  trained  to  pious  pride  and 
greed,  or  of  another  type,  in  which  religion  is  a 
matter  of  verbiage,  tradition,  and  unethical 
subterfuge. 

Parents  must  be  true  to  their  responsibilities. 
The  family  is  the  child's  first  reUgious  institution. 
Fathers  and  mothers  are  not  only  the  first  and  most 
potent  quickeners  and  guides  in  the  religious  life, 
but  they  are  primarily  responsible  for  the  selection 
of  all  other  stimuH  to  that  life.  Under  the  drag  of 
our  own  indifference  we  must  not  withhold  from 
the  child  the  good  he  would  get  even  from  the 
church  we  do  not  particularly  enjoy;  neither  dare 
we,  for  fear  of  criticism  or  ostracism,  force  the 
child  under  influences  which,  in  the  name  of 
religion,  would  chill  and  prevent  his  spiritual 
development,  would  twist,  dwarf,  or  distort  it. 
Responsibility  to  the  spiritual  purpose  of  the 
family  is  far  higher  than  any  responsibility  to  a 
church.  The  churches  are  ordered  for  the  souls 
of  men. 

What  shall  we  do  in  the  family  when  the  sermon 
is  always  tediously  dull  ?  Don't  try  to  force  chil- 
dren to  go  to  sleep  in  church;  they  will  never  get 
over  the  habit.  Insist  that  there  shall  be  a  service 
suitable  for  them  parallel  to  the  adult  service  of 


2IO    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

worship.^  Next,  try  to  overcome  the  present 
popular  obsession  regarding  the  sermon.  The 
church  is  more  than  an  oratory  station.  The 
sermon  is  only  one  incident.  Many  criticisms  of 
the  sermon  indicate  that  the  critic  measures  the 
preacher  by  ability  to  entertain,  that  he  attends 
church  to  be  entertained.  If  that  is  essentially 
your  attitude,  you  cannot  complain  if  your  chil- 
dren are  dissatisfied  unless  they  too  are  entertained 
according  to  their  childish  appetites.  When  the 
sermon  is  poor,  put  it  where  it  belongs  propor- 
tionately and  enlarge  on  the  many  good  features 
of  church  fellowship  and  service. 

In  a  word,  let  the  church  be  to  the  family  that 
larger  home  where  families  live  together  their  life 
of  fellowship  and  service  in  the  spirit  and  purpose 
of  religion  and  where  there  is  a  natural  place 
for  everyone. 

I.    References  for  Study 

H.  W.  Hulbert,  The  Church  and  Her  Children,  chaps,  i-v. 

Revell,  $1 .  oo. 
H.  F.  Cope,  Efficiency  in  the  Sunday  School,  chaps,  xiv- 

xvi.     Doran,  $i .  oo. 
George  Hodges,  Training  of  Children  in  Religion,  chap.  xiv. 

Appleton,  $1 .  50. 

'  See  the  author's  suggestion  for  the  Sunday  school  in  Effi- 
'Aency  in  the  Sunday  School,  chap.  xv. 


The  Family  and  the  Church  211 

II.    Further  Reading 

A.  Hoben,  The  Minister  and  the  Boy.    The  University  of 

Chicago  Press,  $1 .  00. 
E.  C.  Foster,  The  Boy  and  the  Church.     Sunday  School 

Times  Co.,  $0.75. 
G.  A.  Coe,  Education  in  Religion  and  Morals,  Part  II. 

Revell,  $1.35. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  are  the  special  common  interests  of  church  and 
family  ? 

2.  What  are  the  fundamental  relationships  of  the  two  ? 

3.  What  conception  of  the  church  ought  to  be  fostered 
in  the  children's  minds  ? 

4.  When  is  criticism  of  the  church  unwise? 

5.  What  changes  might  be  made  in  church  life  for  the 
sake  of  the  children  ? 

6.  What  changes  would  bring  the  church  and  the  home 
closer  together  ? 

7.  What  should  be  the  children's  conception  of  unity 
with  the  church  ? 

8.  Should  children  attend,  in  family  groups,  the  church 
service  of  worship  ? 

9.  Does  the  plan  of  a  short  service  for  children  meet 
the  need? 


CHAPTER  XVIII 
CHILDREN  AND  THE  SCHOOL 

Wise  parents  will  know  the  character  of  the 
influences  affecting  their  children  at  all  times. 
At  no  time  can  their  responsibility  be  delegated  to 
others.  There  is  a  tendency  to  think  that  when 
children  go  to  school  the  family  has  a  release  from 
responsibility.  But  the  school  is  simply  the 
community — the  group  of  families — syndicating 
its  efforts  for  the  formal  training  of  the  young. 
Every  family  ought  to  know  what  the  community 
is  doing  with  its  children.  The  school  belongs 
to  all;  it  is  not  the  property  of  a  board,  nor  a 
private  machine  belonging  to  the  teaching  force; 
it  belongs  to  us  and  we  owe  a  social  duty  as  well  as 
a  family  obligation  to  understand  its  work  and  its 
influence  on  the  children. 

Parents  ought  to  visit  the  school.  Wise  princi- 
pals and  teachers  will  welcome  them,  setting  times 
when  visits  can  best  be  made.  The  visitors  come, 
not  as  critics,  but  as  citizens  and  parents.  The 
principal  benefits  will  be  an  acquaintance  with  the 
teachers  of  our  children  and  a  better  understand- 
ing of  the  conditions  under  which  the  children  work 
for  the  greater  part  of  the  day.  By  far  the  larger 
number  of  teachers  most  earnestly  desire  char- 


Children  and  the  School  213 

acter  results  from  their  work.  It  will  help  them 
to  know  that  we  are  interested  in  what  they  are 
doing. 

§  I.      HOME  AND   SCHOOL  CO-OPERATION 

Parents  and  teachers,  both  desiring  spiritual 
results,  can  find  means  of  co-operation.  Parent- 
teacher  clubs  and  associations  have  done  much 
to  bring  the  home  and  the  school  together.  Meet- 
ing regularly  in  the  evening,  so  that  fathers,  too, 
can  attend,  gives  opportunity  to  work  out  a  com- 
mon understanding  to  raise  the  spiritual  aims  of 
the  school,  and  to  discover  means  by  which  the 
families  may  aid  in  securing  better  conditions  for 
school  work. 

One  of  the  most  important  considerations 
relates  to  the  moral  effect  of  the  school  life  and 
environment.  We  are  committed  in  this  country 
to  the  principle  that  the  public  school  cannot 
teach  religion,  but  this  by  no  means  relieves  it  of 
responsibility  for  moral  character.  The  family 
needs  this  ally.  Children  expect  instruction  in 
the  school  and  they  feel  keenly  the  power  of  its 
ideals  and  the  standards  established  by  its  methods 
and  requirements.  The  family  and  the  school 
greatly  need  to  co-ordinate  their  efforts  here  to 
the  end  that  there  may  be  under  way  in  both 
an  orderly  program  for  the  moral  training  of 
children. 


214    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

§  2.  the  school  teaching  parents 
The  school  may  help  the  home  if  arrangements 
are  made  for  parents  to  meet  regularly  and  receive 
instruction  in  those  forms  of  moral  training  which 
can  best  be  given  at  home.  This  is  one  method  of 
solving  the  vexed  question  of  sex  instruction. 
Many  hesitate  as  to  the  wisdom  of  such  instruction 
in  schools;  but  no  one  doubts  that  it  ought  to  be 
and  could  be  given  in  families  but  for  the  fact 
that  parents  are  both  ignorant  of  what  to  tell  and 
indifferent  to  the  matter.  It  may  be  that  some 
day  the  state  will  not  only  say  that  the  child  must- 
go  to  school,  but  also  that  every  parent  intrusted 
with  children  must  either  prove  abihty  to  train  and 
instruct  in  these  and  other  matters  or  go  to  school 
to  obtain  the  necessary  training.  The  state  would 
not  go  beyond  its  province  if  it  required  ignorant 
parents — and  that  means  most  of  us  in  matters 
of  moral  training — to  go  to  school  and  learn  our 
business.  And  without  waiting  for  such  compul- 
sion the  school  may  now  offer  opportunity  for  all 
parents  to  obtain  the  desired  information.  Teach- 
ers are  especially  trained  to  an  understanding  of 
child-nature  and  to  methods  of  pedagogy;  they 
are  prepared  to  teach  many  things  we  ought  to 
know;  why  should  not  the  family  obtain  the 
advantage  of  such  expert  knowledge  ? 

The  school  would  also  be  within  its  province  if  it 
undertook   to   stimulate   the   indifferent  parents, 


Children  and  the  School  215 

both  rich  and  poor,  to  an  appreciation  of  the 
educational  task  and  opportunity  of  the  home. 
Each  institution  greatly  needs  the  other.  The 
school  reaches  all  the  children  of  all  the  people; 
might  it  not  be  made  a  larger  means  of  helping 
all  the  parents  of  all  the  children  to  quickened 
moral  responsibility  and  to  greater  educational 
efficiency  ? 

§  3.      CONTROLLING   SCHOOL   CONDITIONS 

The  family  ought  to  know  the  conditions  at  the 
school  outside  the  recitation  or  working  hours. 
Few  parents  have  any  conception  of  the  power  of 
the  playground  over  moral  character.  Perhaps  a 
smaller  number  realize  how  dangerous  are  some 
of  the  elements  at  work  there.  Play  of  itself  is 
imimensely  valuable,  but  play  means  playfellows, 
and  some  of  these  are  simply  purveyors  of  inde- 
cency and  moral  contagion  in  conversation  and 
act.  We  are  required  to  send  our  children  to 
school;  we  have  a  right  to  demand  freedom  from 
moral  contagion.  Do  you  know  what  goes  on  in 
secret  places  on  the  grounds  ?  Do  you  know  that 
the  vilest  ideas  and  phrases  are  current  in  pictures, 
cards,  on  scraps  of  paper,  and  in  handwriting  on 
walls,  not  only  in  the  high  schools,  but  often  among 
children  of  from  six  to  twelve  years  of  age  ?  This 
is  too  large  a  subject  to  be  developed  properly 
here.     It  is  one  familiar  to  all  wide-awake  school 


2i6    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

men  and  women  and  ought  to  be  equally  so  to  the 
parents  of  children.  Where  the  school  combats  this 
evil  the  home  should  intelHgently  aid;  where  the 
school  is  indifferent  the  family  dare  not  rest  until 
either  the  indifference  is  quite  dispelled  or  the 
indifferent  dismissed. 

Do  not  expect  to  get  the  facts  concerning  these 
suggested  conditions  by  inquiry  among  your 
children.  They  are  reticent,  naturally,  on  such 
matters  when  talking  with  adults;  besides,  the 
sense  of  school  honor  holds  them  to  silence.  If 
they  tell  you  voluntarily,  you  are  happy  in  their 
free  confidence.  Do  not  betray  it;  simply  let  it 
lead  you  to  make  further  inquiry  at  the  school  from 
the  authorities  and  stimulate  you  to  insist  that, 
for  the  sake  of  the  spiritual  good  of  the  young,  the 
school  must  furnish  conditions  of  moral  health. 

I.    References  for  Stltdy 

Ella  Lyman  Cabot,  Voluntary  Help  to  the  Schools,  chaps. 

vii,  viii.     Houghton  Mifflin  Co.,  $0.60. 
W.  A.  Baldwin,   "The  Home  and  the  Public  Schools," 

Religious  Education,  February,  191 2.    $0.65. 

II.    Further  Reading 

M.   Sadler,  Moral  Instruction   and   Training   in   Schools. 

2  vols.     Longmans. 
John  Dewey,  The  School  and  Society.    The  University  of 

Chicago  Press,  $1 .  00. 
Smith,  All  the  Children  of  All  the  People.    Macmillan,  $1 .  50. 


Children  and  the  School  217 

G.  A.  Coe,  "Virtue  and  the  Virtues,"  Religious  Education, 
February,  191 2. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  ought  parents  to  know  about  public-school  life  ? 

2.  In  visiting  a  school  what  may  the  parent  do  to 
acquire  information  in  the  proper  way  ? 

3.  How  may  the  home  co-operate  with  the  school  ? 

4.  What   degree   of   instruction   in   morals   ought   the 
school  to  give  ? 

5.  In  what  way  does  the  school  best  help  in  moral 
training  ? 

6.  What  do  you  know  about  the  conditions  on  the 
playgrotmds  of  your  own  school  ? 


CHAPTER  XIX 

DEALING  WITH  MORAL  CRISES 

Moral  crises  arise  in  every  family.  Deeply 
as  we  may  desire  to  maintain  an  even  tenor  of 
character-development,  in  harmony  and  quietness, 
occasions  will  bring  either  our  own  imperfections 
or  those  of  our  children — or  of  our  neighbors' 
children — to  a  focus  and  throw  them  in  high  relief 
on  the  screen.  Progress  comes  not  alone  in  per- 
petual placidity.  When  temper  slips  from  con- 
trol, when  angry  passions  rule,  when  the  spirit 
under  discipline  rebels,  when  a  course  of  petty 
wrongdoing  comes  to  a  head,  when  secret  sins 
are  discovered,  and  when  we  suddenly  find  our- 
selves confronted  with  a  tragic  problem  in  the 
higher  life,  it  is  still  important  to  remember  that 
the  crisis  is  just  as  truly  a  part  of  the  educa- 
tional process  as  is  the  orderly,  gradual  method  of 
development. 

A  moral  crisis  is  an  experience  in  which  our  acts 
are  such,  or  have  such  results,  that  they  are  thrown 
out  in  a  white  light  that  reveals  their  inner  mean- 
ing, so  that  they  are  sharply  discerned  for  their 
spiritual  and  character  values.  Then  in  that  Ught 
courses  of  conduct  have  to  be  valued  anew, 
reconsidered,  and  determined. 

218 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  219 

Two  courses  are  open  in  times  of  moral  crisis 
in  the  family.  One  is  to  bend  our  efforts  to  settle 
the  situation,  to  proceed  on  the  policy  of  getting 
through  with  the  crisis  as  quickly  as  possible,  to 
seek  to  remove  the  pain  rather  than  to  cure  the 
ill.  The  other  is  to  regard  the  crisis  as  a  revealer 
of  truth,  to  use  it  as  a  valuable  opportunity, 
one  in  which  moral  qualities  of  acts  are  so  easily 
evident,  so  keenly  felt,  as  to  make  it  a  time  of 
spiritual  quickening,  a  chance  for  the  best  sort  of 
training. 

§  I.      THE   PROMISE   OF   IMPERFECTION 

The  perfect  child  is  the  one  unborn;  shortly 
after  his  birth  he  begins  to  take  after  his  father. 
The  perfect  character  does  not  exist  in  a  child.  It 
is  as  unreasonable  to  expect  it  as  it  would  be  to 
look  for  the  perfect  tree  in  the  sapling.  Character 
comes  by  development;  it  is  not  bom  full-blown. 
Childhood  implies  promise,  development.  There- 
fore parents  must  not  be  surprised  at  evidences 
that  their  children  are  pretty  much  like  their 
neighbors'  children.  Outside  of  the  old-time 
Sunday-school-library  book  the  child  who  never 
lied,  lost  his  temper,  sulked,  or  made  a  disturbance 
never  existed  and  never  will,  except  in  a  psycho- 
pathic ward  in  some  hospital.  Could  anything  be 
saddep  than  the  picture  of  the  anemic,  pulseless 
automaton  who  is  always  "good"  ? 


220    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

When  parents  speak  of  the  "natural  depravity" 
of  their  children,  they  are  commonly  using  terms 
they  do  not  understand.  What  they  mean  is  the 
natural  immaturity  of  their  children,  a  condition 
of  imperfection  in  which  they  may  rejoice,  as  it 
shows  the  possibility  of  development.  The  child 
is  in  the  world  to  grow  to  the  fulness  of  all  his 
powers.  The  powers  of  the  higher  life  are  to 
develop  as  truly  as  those  which  we  call  physical 
and  mental.  The  family  is  the  great  human 
culture-bed  for  the  development  of  those  powers, 
their  training-field  and  school. 

Does  someone  say,  concerning  a  little  child, 
"But  we  thought  he  had  the  grace  of  God  in  his 
heart,  that  he  had  been  born  again  and  would  no 
more  do  wrong"?  True,  he  may  be  bom  again, 
but  there  is  a  world  of  difference  between  being 
bom  and  being  grown  up.  From  one  to  the  other, 
in  the  realm  of  character,  is  a  long  and  tedious 
process,  with  many  a  stumble,  many  a  fall,  many 
a  hard  knock,  and  many  a  lesson  to  be  leamed. 
Every  moral  crisis  is  part  of  the  struggle,  the  experi- 
ence and  training  that  may  make  toward  the 
matured  life.  You  have  no  more  right  to  expect 
your  child  to  be  a  mature  Christian  than  you  had 
to  expect  him  to  be  born  six  feet  tall. 

A  moral  crisis  is  a  lesson.  The  important  con- 
sideration for  the  parent,  then,  is  to  see  the  wrong- 
doing of  the  child  as  an  experience  in  his  moral 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  221 

upward  climb;  not  as  a  fall  alone,  but  as  part  of 
the  acquisition  of  the  art  of  standing  upright  and 
walking  forward.  Dealing  with  such  an  occasion 
one  may  well  say  to  himself  or  herself,  "This  is 
my  chance  to  guide,  to  make  this  experience  a  light 
that  shines  forward  on  the  way  for  the  child's 
weak  feet  and  to  strengthen  him  to  walk  in  it." 
For  is  it  not  true  with  us  that  practically  all  we 
really  know  has  come  by  the  organizing  of  our 
different  experiences?  Think  whether  it  is  so  or 
not.  And  is  it  not  to  be  the  same  with  the  child  ? 
We  can  study  here  only  a  few  t3^ical  moral 
crises,  perhaps  those  that  give  greatest  perplexity 
to  parents.  They  cannot  be  successfully  met  as 
isolated  instances,  but  must  be  seen  as  a  part  of 
the  whole  educational  process.  Those  to  whom 
the  development  of  character  is  a  reality  will 
watch  tendencies  and  train  them  before  they 
focalize  in  crises. 

§  2.      THE   collision   OF   WILLS 

Parenthood  presents  tremendous  moral  strains ; 
it  is  rife  with  temptations.  It  offers  a  httle  world 
for  autocracy  to  vaunt  itself.  The  martinets 
command,  often  totally  blind  to  the  changing 
nature  of  the  subjects  as  they  pass  from  the  sub- 
missive to  the  rebellious.  One  day  the  parents 
wake  up  to  realize  that  they  are  not  the  only  ones 
possessed  of  will. 


222    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

When  to  your  Yes  the  child  says  No,  while 
you  may  not  applaud,  you  ought  to  rejoice;  you 
have  discovered  a  will,  you  have  found  developing 
in  your  child  the  central  and  essential  quality  of 
character.  Forgiveness  will  be  hard  to  find  and 
recovery  still  more  diflScult  if  you  make  the  mistake 
of  attempting  to  crush  that  will.  The  child  needs 
it  and  you  will  need  its  co-operation.  The  power 
to  see  the  possibiUty  of  choice  of  action,  to  know 
one's  self  as  a  choosing,  willing  entity,  able  to  elect 
and  follow  one  among  many  courses  of  action,  is 
a  distinctive.  Godlike  quality.  The  opposition 
of  wills  is  like  the  birth  of  a  new  personahty,  a 
new  force  thrown  out  into  the  world  to  meet 
and  struggle  and  adjust  itself  with  all  other 
persons. 

When  the  collision  comes,  take  a  few  long  breaths 
before  you  move ;  take  time  to  think  what  it  means. 
Keep  your  temper.  Do  not  break  before  the  other 
will  by  an  exhibition  of  chagrin  that  your  authority 
is  defied.  From  now  on  the  basis  of  any  real 
authority  is  being  transformed  from  force  and 
tradition  to  a  moral  plane. 

Therefore,  first,  be  sure  you  are  right  in  your 
direction  or  request.  You  cannot  afford  to  make 
the  child  think  that  authority  is  more  important 
than  justice,  that  might  makes  right  in  the  social 
order  of  the  home.  If  you  do  he  will  accept  the 
lesson  and  practice  it  all  his  life. 


Dealing  with  Moeal  Crises  223 

Remember  the  right  has  many  elements.  There 
is  the  child's  side  to  consider.  As  soon  as  he  can 
decide  on  courses  of  action  his  ideas  of  justice  are 
developing.  To  do  him  an  injustice  is  to  help 
make  him  an  unjust  man. 

Secondly,  help  him  to  see  the  right.  This  will 
involve  sympathetic  explanations  of  your  reasons 
which  you  may  have  to  give  in  the  form  of  simple 
arguments  or  of  a  story,  perhaps  from  your  own 
experience,  or  by  an  appeal  or  reference  to  the 
wider  knowledge  of  the  older  children.  It  may 
be  necessary  to  let  him  learn  in  the  eflFective  school 
of  experience.  Other  means  failing,  allow  him 
to  discover  the  pain  and  folly  of  his  own  way  when 
it  is  wrong.  Of  course  this  does  not  apply  if  he 
is  minded,  for  instance,  to  imbibe  carbolic  acid. 
But  even  in  such  circumstances  it  would  be  better 
to  prove  his  unwisdom  by  demonstration — as  a 
drop  of  acid  on  a  finger  tip— than  to  let  the  issue 
rest  on  blind  authority.  One  such  demonstration 
gives  a  new,  intelligible  basis  to  your  authority  in 
other  cases. 

Thirdly,  help  him  to  will  the  right.  Help  him 
to  feel  that  he  must  choose  for  himself,  to  recognize 
the  power  of  the  will  and  the  grave  responsibiUties 
of  its  use.  He  is  entering  the  realm  of  the  freedom 
of  the  will.  Every  act  of  deliberate  choice,  with 
your  aid,  in  a  sense  of  the  seriousness  of  choice, 
goes  to  estabUsh  the  character  that  does  not  drift. 


224    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

is  not  dragged,  and  will  not  go  save  with  its  whole 
selfhood  of  feeling,  knowing,  choosing,  and  willing. 

§  3.      ANGER 

An  angry  child  is  a  child  in  rebellion.  Rebel- 
lion is  sometimes  justifiable.  Anger  may  be  a 
virtue.  You  would  not  take  this  force  out  of 
your  child  any  more  than  you  would  take  the 
temper  out  of  a  knife  or  a  spring.  Anger  mani- 
fested vocally  or  muscularly  is  the  child's  form  of 
protest.  But,  established  as  a  habit  of  the  life, 
it  is  altogether  unlovely.  Who  does  not  know 
grown-up  people  who  seem  to  be  inflexibly  angry; 
either  they  are  in  perpetual  eruption  or  the  fires 
smoulder  so  near  the  surface  that  a  pin-prick  sets 
them  loose.  Usually  a  study  of  their  cases  will 
show  either  that  the  attitude  of  angry  opposition 
to  everything  in  hfe  has  been  established  and 
fostered  from  infancy  or  that  it  was  acquired  in 
the  adolescent  period. 

The  angry,  antisocial  person  is  most  emphatically 
an  irreligious  person ;  there  can  be  no  love  of  his 
brother  man  where  that  spirit  is.  The  home  is  the 
place  where  this  ill  can  best  be  met  and  cured,  for  it 
deals  most  directly  with  the  infant,  and  for  the  ado- 
lescent it  is  the  best  school  of  normal  social  living. 

Let  no  one  think  the  angry  demonstrations  of 
little  children  are  negligible  or  that  they  have 
nothing  to  do  with  the  religious  character  of  the 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  225 

child  or  the  adult.  They  are  important  for  at 
least  two  reasons,  first,  as  furnishing  the  angry 
one  opportunity  to  acquire  self-control,  to  master 
his  own  spirit,  and,  secondly,  because  they  disturb 
the  peace  and  interfere  with  the  well-being  of  others. 

It  is  possible  to  set  up  habits  of  anger  in  the 
cradle.  In  the  first  instance  the  infant  encountered 
opposition  in  the  cradle  and  proceeded  to  conquer 
it  by  yelling,  and  so,  day  after  day,  he  found  anger 
the  only  route  to  the  satisfaction  of  his  desires. 
He  grew  to  take  all  life  in  terms  of  a  bitter  struggle 
and  every  person  became  his  natural  enemy. 

In  the  case  of  the  adolescent  it  sometimes  hap- 
pens that  a  boy  or  a  girl  will  make  a  very  tardy 
passage  through  the  normal  experience  of  social 
aversion,  the  time  when  they  seem  to  suspect  all 
other  people,  to  flee  from  social  intercourse  and  to 
sulk,  to  want  to  be  off  in  a  comer  alone.  This  is 
a  normal  phase  of  adolescent  adjustment,  coming 
at  thirteen  or  fourteen,  but  it  ought  to  pass  quickly. 
A  few  allow  this  period  to  become  lengthened; 
they  fail  to  regain  social  pleasure  and  soon  drift 
into  habits  of  social  enmity.  This  may  be  due  to 
scolding  at  this  period,  or  to  a  lack  of  healthful 
friendships. 

§  4.      METHODS   OF  DEALING  WITH  ANGER 

It  is  evident  that  talking,  lecturing,  or  arguing 
with  the  angry  infant  will  not  help  the  case.     He 


226    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

may  feel  the  emotion  of  your  anger  but  misses 
any  shreds  of  your  logic.  Parents  ought  first  to 
ask,  Why  is  an  infant  angry?  With  the  infant, 
with  whom  there  are  no  pretensions  or  affections, 
there  is  commonly  a  simple  cause  of  his  rebellion. 
The  baby  yelling  like  an  Indian  and  looking  like 
a  boiled  lobster  is  neither  possessed  of  an  evil 
spirit  nor  giving  an  exhibition  of  natural  depravity; 
he  is  lying  on  a  pin,  wearing  the  shackles  of  faddish 
infant  fashions,  or  he  is  trying  to  tell  you  of  disturb- 
ances in  the  department  of  the  interior.  Furnish 
physical  rehef  at  once  and  you  put  a  period  to  the 
display  of  what  you  call  temper;  try  to  subdue 
him  by  threats  and  you  only  discover  that  his 
lungs  are  stronger  than  your  patience;  3^ou  yield 
at  last  and  he  has  learned  that  temper  properly 
displayed  has  its  reward,  that  the  way  to  get  what 
he  wants  is  to  upset  the  world  with  anger.  That  is 
one  of  life's  early  lessons;  it  is  one  of  the  first 
exercises  in  training  character. 

Consider  the  future.  Each  family  is  a  social 
unit,  a  little  world.  Within  this  world  are  in 
miniature  nearly  all  the  struggles  and  experiences 
of  the  larger  world  of  later  Hfe.  It  is  a  world  which 
prepares  children  for  Hving  by  actually  living. 
The  qualities  that  are  needed  in  a  world  of  men  and 
women  and  affairs  are  developed  here.  When 
young  children  exhibit  anger  parents  must  ask, 
How  would  this   quaUty,   under  similar  circxmi- 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  227 

stances,  serve  in  the  business  of  mature  life  ? 
Anger  is  an  essential  quality  of  the  good  and  force- 
ful character.  Somehow  we  have  to  learn  to  be 
angry  and  not  sin.  Anger  is  the  emotional  feeling 
of  extreme  discontent  and  opposition.  For  the 
stem  fight  against  evil  and  wrong,  hfe  needs  this 
emotional  reinforcement.  But  it  must  be  purified, 
it  must  be  controlled.  Like  the  dynamic  of  steam, 
it  must  be  confined  and  guided.  Love  must  free 
it  from  hatred;  self-control  must  guide  it. 

When  children  are  angry,  help  them  to  think  out 
the  causes  for  the  feeling.  Instead  of  denouncing 
or  deriding  them,  stop  to  analyze  the  situation  for 
yourself.  It  may  be  that  they  are  entirely  justi- 
fied, that  not  to  be  angry  would  be  an  evidence  of 
weakness,  of  base  standards  of  conduct  or  condi- 
tions, or  of  weak  reactions  to  life's  stimuli.  Always 
help  the  child  to  see  why  he  is  angry.  Perhaps 
the  situation  is  one  he  may  remedy  himself.  Is  he 
angry  because  the  top-string  is  tangled?  Stay 
with  him  until  he  has  learned  that  he  can  remove 
the  cause  of  his  own  temper. 

Step  by  step,  dealing  with  each  excitement  of 
anger,  train  him  in  self-control.  Self-mastery  is  a 
matter  of  learning  to  direct  and  apply  our  own 
powers  at  will.  It  is  developed  by  habitual  prac- 
tice. It  is  the  largest  general  element  in  character. 
The  temper  that  smashes  a  toy  is  the  temper  that 
kills  a  human  being  when  it  opposes  our  will,  but 


228    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

it  is  the  same  temper  that,  being  controlled, 
patiently  sets  the  great  ills  of  society  right,  fights 
and  works  to  remove  gigantic  wrongs  and  to  build 
a  better  social  order.  That  patience  which  is 
self-control  saves  the  immensely  valuable  dynamic 
of  the  emotions  and  harnesses  them  to  Godlike 
service.  And  that  patience  is  not  learned  at  a 
single  lesson,  not  acquired  in  a  miraculous  moment; 
it  is  learned  in  one  httle  lesson  after  another,  in 
every  act  and  all  the  daily  discipline  of  home  and 
school  and  street. 

Children  must  learn  to  qualify  and  govern 
temper  by  love  in  order  to  save  it  from  hatred. 
When  the  irritating  object  is  a  personal  one  the 
rights,  the  well-being,  of  that  one  must  gain  some 
consideration.  There  will  be  but  little  feeling 
of  altruism  in  children  under  thirteen;  we  must 
not  expect  it;  but  egoism  is  one  way  to  an  under- 
standing of  the  rights,  the  feelings,  and  needs  of 
others.  The  child  can  put  himself  in  the  other's 
place.  He  is  capable  of  affection;  he  loves  and  is 
willing  to  sacrifice  for  those  he  loves,  and  when  he 
is  angry  with  them,  or  with  strangers,  he  must  be 
helped  to  think  of  them  as  persons,  as  those  he 
loves  or  may  love.  He  also  can  be  aided  to  see  the 
pain  of  hatred,  the  misery  of  the  life  without 
friends,  the  joy  of  friendships. 

Anger  against  persons  is  the  opportunity  for 
learning  the  joy  of  forgiveness  and,  if  the  occasion 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  229 

warrants,  the  dignity  and  courage  of  the  apology. 
The  self-control,  consideration,  and  social  adjust- 
ment involved  must  be  learned  early  in  life.  It 
is  part  of  that  great  lesson  of  the  fine  art  of  Uving 
with  others.  Little  children  must  be  habituated 
to  acknowledging  errors  and  acts  of  rudeness  or 
temper  with  suitable  forms  of  apology.  Above 
all,  they  must,  by  habit,  learn  how  great  is  the 
victory  of  forgiveness.^ 

I.    References  for  Study 

The  Problem  of  Temper.     Pamphlet.    American  Institute 

of  Child  Life,  Philadelphia,  Pa. 
E.  P.  St.  John,  Child  Nature  and  Child  Nurture,  chap.  v. 

PUgrim  Press,  $0.50. 
J.  Sully,  Children's  Ways,  chap.  x.     Appleton,  $1.25. 

II.    Further  Reading 

Patterson  Du  Bois,   The  Culture  of  Justice,  chaps,   i-v. 

Dodd,  Mead  &  Co.,  $0.75. 
E.  H.  Abbott,  The  Training  of  Parents.     Houghton  Mifflin 

Co.,  $1.00. 
M.  Wood-Allen,  Making  the  Best  of  Our  Children.     2  vols. 

McClurg,  $1 .  00  each. 
H.  Y.  Campbell,  Practical  Motherhood.    Longmans,  $2 .  50. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  What  special  opportunities  are  offered  in  the  rise  of 
moral  crises  ? 

2.  Do  we  tend  to  expect  too  high  a  development  of 
character  in  chUdren? 

'  See  Gow,  Good  Morals  and  Gentle  Manners,  chap.  viii. 


230    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

3.  How  early  in  life  do  we  have  manifestations  of  a 
conscious  will  ? 

4.  What  constitutes  the  importance  of  early  crises  of 
the  will  ? 

5.  What  are  probably  the  causes  when  children  habitu- 
ally defy  authority  ? 

6.  Is  anger  always  a  purely  mental  condition  ? 

7.  What  importance  have  the  angry  demonstrations  of 
infants  ? 

8.  What  is  the  relation  of  the  control  of  temper  to  the 
rightly  developed  life  ? 


CHAPTER  XX 

DEALING  WITH  MORAL  CRISES  {Continued) 
§  I.      QUARRELS 

A  child  who  never  quarrels  probably  needs  to 
be  examined  by  a  physician ;  a  child  who  is  always 
quarreling  equally  needs  the  physician.  In  the 
first  there  is  a  lack  of  sufficient  energy  so  to  move 
as  to  meet  and  realize  some  of  life's  oppositions; 
in  the  other  there  is  probably  some  underlying  cause 
for  nervous  irritability. 

It  is  perfectly  natural  for  healthy  people  to 
differ;  in  childhood's  realm,  where  the  values  and 
proportions  of  life  are  not  clearly  seen,  where  social 
adjustments  have  not  been  acquired,  the  differences 
in  opinions,  as  in  possessions,  lead  to  the  expression 
of  feeling  in  sharp  and  emphatic  terms.  Rivalry 
and  conflict  are  natural  to  the  young  animal. 
Children  do  not  wilfully  enter  into  conflicts  any 
more  than  adults;  they  are  only  less  diplomatic 
in  their  language,  more  direct,  and  more  likely  to 
follow  the  word  with  attempts  at  force. 

In  few  things  do  parents  need  more  patience  than 
in  dealing  with  children's  quarrels.  First,  seek 
to  determine  quietly  the  merits  of  the  cause;  but 
do  not  attempt  to  pronounce  a  verdict.  It  is 
seldom  wise  to  act  as  judge  unless  you  allow  the 

231 


232    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

children  to  act  as  a  jury.  But  ascertain  whether 
the  quarrel  is  an  expression  somewhere  of  anger 
against  injustice,  wrong,  or  evil  in  some  form. 
Sometimes  their  quarrels  have  as  much  virtue 
as  our  crusades.  It  is  a  sad  mistake  to  quench 
the  feeling  of  indignation  against  wrong  or  of 
hatred  against  evil.  A  boy  will  need  that  emo- 
tional backing  in  his  fights  against  the  base  and 
the  foes  of  his  kind.  While  rejoicing  in  his  feel- 
ing, show  him  how  to  direct  it,  train  him  to  dis- 
criminate between  hatred  of  wrong  and  bitterness 
toward  the  wrongdoer.  Help  him  to  see  the  good 
that  comes  from  loving  people,  no  matter  what 
they  do. 

Our  methods  of  dealing  with  a  quarrel  will  do 
more  to  develop  their  sense  of  justice  than  all  our 
decisions  can.  Be  sure  to  get  each  one  to  state 
all  the  facts;  insist  on  some  measure  of  calmness 
in  the  recital.  Keep  on  sifting  down  the  facts 
until  by  their  own  statements  the  quarrel  is  seen 
stripped  of  passion  and  standing  clear  in  its  own 
hght.  Usually  that  course,  when  kindly  pursued 
and  followed  with  sympathy  for  the  group,  with 
a  saving  sense  of  humor,  will  result  in  the  voluntary 
acknowledgment  of  wrong.  The  boys — or  girls — 
have  for  the  first  time  seen  their  acts,  their  words, 
their  course,  in  a  light  without  prejudice.  They 
are  more  ready  to  confess  to  being  mistaken  than 
are  we  when  convinced  against  our  wishes. 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  233 

When  no  acknowledgment  of  wrong  is  proffered 
voluntarily,  we  must  still  not  offer  a  verdict.  Put 
the  case  to  the  contestants  and  let  them  settle  it. 
Listen,  as  a  bystander,  coming  in  only  when  abso- 
lutely necessary  to  insist  on  exact  statements  of 
fact.  That  course  should  be  excellent  training 
in  clear  thinking,  in  the  duty  of  seeing  the  other 
man's  side,  in  the  deliberation  that  saves  from 
unwise  accusations  and  the  serious  quarrels  of  later 
life.  Teach  children  to  think  through  their  differ- 
ences. 

The  perpetually  petulant  child,  bickering  with 
all  others,  should  be  taken  to  a  physician.  Get 
him  right  nervously,  physically,  first.  He  is  out 
of  harmony  with  himself  and  so  cannot  find  har- 
mony with  others.  When  the  condition  of  habitual 
bickering  seems  to  afflict  all  the  children  in  the 
family,  it  cannot  be  settled  by  attributing  it  to  a 
mysterious  dispensation  of  natural  depravity.  The 
probabiHty  is  that  the  home  life  is  without  harmony 
and  full  of  discord,  that  the  parents  are  themselves 
petulant  and  more  anxious  to  assert  their  separate 
opinions  than  to  find  unity  of  action.  Nothing 
is  more  effective  to  teach  children  peaceful  living 
than  to  see  it  constantly  before  them  in  their 
parents.  A  harmonious  home  seldom  has  quarrel- 
some children.  Such  harmony  is  a  matter  of 
organization  and  management  of  affairs  as  much 
as  of  our  own  attitude. 


234    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

Some  children  are  educated  to  a  life  of  quarrels 
by  being  trained  in  the  family  that  spoils  them. 
The  single  child  is  at  a  great  disadvantage;  he 
occupies  the  throne  alone.  His  home  Hfe  becomes 
a  mere  series  of  spokes  radiating  from  himself. 
When  he  finds  the  world  ordered  otherwise,  he 
quarrels  with  it  and  tries  to  rearrange  the  spokes 
into  a  new,  self-centric  social  order.  Whatever 
the  number  of  children  may  be,  each  one  must 
learn  to  live  with  other  lives,  to  adjust  himself 
to  them.  Neighboring  social  play  and  activities 
are  the  chance  for  this.  Do  not  try  tp  keep  Alger- 
non in  a  glass  case ;  he  needs  the  world  in  which  he 
will  have  to  hve  some  day. 

§  2.      FIGHTING 

The  best  of  men  are  likely  to  have  a  secret  satis- 
faction in  their  boys'  fights,  and  the  bravest  of 
mothers  will  deplore  them.  The  fathers  know 
how  hard  are  the  knocks  that  Hfe  is  going  to  give; 
the  mothers  hope  that  the  boys  can  be  saved  from 
blows.  A  man's  life  is  often  pretty  much  of  a 
fight,  every  day  struggling  in  competition  and 
rivalry;  we  have  not  yet  learned  the  lesson  of 
co-operation,  and  we  still  tend  to  think  of  business 
as  a  battlefield.  Something  in  us  calls  for  fighting; 
we  have  to  use  the  utmost  strength  at  our  command 
to  fight  the  evil  tendencies  of  our  own  hearts ;  often 
we  rejoice  in  life  as  a  conflict.     It  feels  good  to 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  235 

find  causes  worth  fighting  for.  If  all  this  is  true 
of  the  man,  it  is  not  strange  that  the  small  boy, 
scarce  more  than  a  young  savage,  will  find  oppor- 
tunities for  conflict.  He  is  more  dependent  on 
the  weapons  of  force  than  is  his  father.  He  cannot 
cast  out  the  enemy  with  a  ballot,  nor  with  a  sneer 
or  biting  sarcasm,  nor  by  some  device  or  strategy 
of  business  or  affairs.  He  can  only  hit  back. 
Taken  altogether,  boys  settle  their  differences  as 
honestly  at  least  as  do  men. 

Moreover,  children's  fights  are  not  as  cruel  as 
they  seem  to  be;  even  the  bloodshed  means  little 
either  of  pain  or  of  injury.  A  boy  may  be  badly 
banged  up  today  and  in  full  trim  tomorrow;  it 
is  quite  different  with  the  wounds  bloodlessly 
inflicted  by  men  in  their  conflicts. 

Does  all  this  mean  that  boys  should  be  encour- 
aged to  fight?  No;  but  it  does  mean  that  when 
Billy  comes  home  with  one  eye  apparently  retired 
from  business,  we  must  not  scold  him  as  though 
he  were  the  first  wanderer  from  Eden.  That 
fight  may  have  been  precisely  the  same  thing  as  a 
croquet  game  to  his  sister,  or  any  test  of  skill  to 
his  big  brother,  or  a  business  transaction  to  his 
father;  it  was  a  mere  contest  of  two  healthy  bodies 
at  a  time  when  the  body  was  the  outstanding  fact 
of  life.  The  fight  may  give  us  our  chance,  however, 
to  aid  him  to  a  sense  of  the  greatness  of  life's 
conflict,  to  a  sense  of  the  qualities  that  make  the 


236    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

true  fighter.  It  may  leave  him  open  to  the  appeal 
of  true  heroism.  We  must  make  light  of  the  vic- 
tory of  brute  strength,  just  as  we  may  make  light 
of  his  wounds  and  scars,  and  glorify  the  victory  of 
the  mind  and  will. 

The  boy  who  fights  because  he  lacks  control  of 
temper  needs  careful  training.  He  gets  a  good 
deal  of  discipline  on  the  playgroimd  and  street,  but 
it  is  not  always  effective;  the  beatings  may  only 
further  undermine  control.  But  the  lack  of  self- 
control  wiU  manifest  itself  in  many  ways  and  must 
be  remedied  at  all  points.  The  discipline  of  daily 
living  in  the  family  must  come  into  play  here. 

§  3.      SELF-CONTROL 

The  matter  of  self-control  is  not  separable  into 
special  features;  one  cannot  learn  control  under 
one  set  of  moral  circumstances  without  learning 
it  for  all.  The  boy  who  strikes  without  thinking 
is  simply  one  who  acts  without  thinking.  He 
tends  to  throw  away  the  brakes  of  the  will.  The 
regain  of  control  comes  only  through  training  at 
every  point  in  deliberation  of  action. 

Probably  there  is  no  other  point  at  which  chil- 
dren so  frequently  and  readily  learn  control  as 
in  the  matter  of  speech.  The  family  where  aU 
speak  at  once,  where  a  babel  of  sounds  leads  to  a 
rivalry  of  vocal  organs,  is  not  only  a  nuisance  to 
the  neighbors,  it  is  a  school  of  uncontrolled  action 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  237 

to  the  children.  Just  to  learn  to  wait,  even  after 
the  thought  is  formed  into  words,  until  it  shall  be 
my  turn  or  my  opportimity  to  speak  is  a  fine 
discipline  of  control.  To  do  that  every  day,  year 
after  year,  tends  to  break  up  the  hair-trigger 
process  of  action. 

Control  is  gained  also  by  the  acquisition  of  the 
habit  of  thought  regarding  general  courses  of 
action.  We  can  hardly  expect  meditation  on  the 
part  of  Httle  children.  But  those  who  are  older, 
those  entering  their  teens,  may  and  should  be 
able  to  think  things  out,  to  plan  out  the  day's 
actions,  to  determine  their  own  ways  of  conduct. 
Children  who  have  the  custom  of  quiet,  private 
prayer  often  develop  abiUty  to  see  their  conduct 
in  the  calm  of  those  moments.  They  get  a  mental 
elevation  over  the  day  and  its  deeds. 

§  4.      GOOD   FIGHTS 

The  evident  danger  of  undue  deliberation 
of  action  must  be  met  by  another  cure  of  the 
personal-conflict  spirit;  that  is,  the  substitution  of 
games  of  rivalry  and  skill  for  the  unorganized 
rivalry  and  ''game"  of  fighting.  The  transition 
from  the  bloody  arena  to  the  excitement  of  a  game 
is  very  easy  and  natural.  But  the  game  is  the 
boy's  great  chance  to  learn  life  as  a  game  to  be 
played  according  to  the  rules.  All  that  the  fight 
calls  for — courage,  endurance,  skill,  quickness  of 


238    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

action,  and  grim  persistence — comes  out  in  a  good 
game.  Here  is  a  suitable  youthful  realization  of 
the  fight  that  is  worth  waging.  Our  participation 
in  the  youths'  games,  our  appreciation  of  their 
points,  our  joy  in  honestly  won  success,  is  the  best 
possible  way  to  lead  up  to  their  taking  life  in  terms 
of  a  good  fight,  a  grand  game,  a  real  chance  to  call 
out  the  heroic  quahties.  Turn  every  fighting 
instinct  into  the  good  fight  that  will  clarify  and 
elevate  them  all. 

I.    References  for  Study 

W.  L.  Sheldon,  Ethics  in  the  Home,  chaps,  xi,  xii,  xiii. 

Welch  &  Co.,  $1.25. 
E.  A.  Abbott,  Training  of  Parents,  chap.  v.    Houghton 

Mifflin  Co.,  $1.00. 

II.    Further  Reading 

Ella  Lyman  Cabot,  Every  Day  Ethics.     Holt,  $1. 25, 
M.  Wood-Allen,  Making  the  Best  of  Our  Children.     2  vols. 
McClurg,  $1.00  each. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  Do   all  children   quarrel?    Should   one   punish   for 
small  quarrels  ? 

2.  What  are  the  facts  which  ought  to  be  ascertained 
regarding  any  quarrel  ? 

3.  What  special  opportunities  do  children's  differences 
offer? 

4.  What  are  the  causes  of  habitual  petulance?    What 
are  the  dangers  of  this  habit  of  mind  ? 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  239 

5.  Is  fighting  necessarily  wrong  ?    What  part  does  it  play 
in  the  lives  of  men  ? 

6.  What  are  the  dangerous  elements  in  boys'  fights  ? 

7.  What  special  quality  of  character  needs  development 
in  this  connection  ? 

8.  What  are  the  valuable  possibilities  in  the  fighting 
tendency  ? 


CHAPTER  XXI 

DEALING  WITH  MORAL  CRISES  (Continued) 
§  I.     L.YING 

Parents  are  likely  to  be  wilfully  blind  to  the 
faults  of  their  children.  But  some  faults  cannot 
be  ignored;  they  must  surely  quicken  the  most 
indifferent  parent  to  thought.  We  suffer  a  shock 
when  our  own  child  appears  as  a  wilful  liar. 

"What  shall  I  do  when  I  catch  the  child  in  an 
outright  lie  ?  Surely  he  knows  that  is  wrong  and 
that  he  is  wilfully  doing  the  wrong!" 

First,  be  sure  whether  he  is  "lying."  Lying 
means  a  purposeful  intent  to  deceive  by  word  of 
mouth  or  written  word.  When  Charles  Dickens 
wrote  Oliver  Twist  he  described  a  burglary  that 
never  happened,  so  far  as  he  knew.  He  intended 
the  reader  to  feel  that  it  was  true.  Was  he  lying  ? 
No;  because  he  simply  used  his  imagination  to 
paint  a  scene  which  was  part  of  a  great  lesson  he 
desired  to  teach  the  English  public.  Even  had  he 
had  no  great  moral  purpose,  it  would  still  not  have 
been  a  lie,  just  as  we  do  not  accuse  the  writer  of  even 
the  most  frivolous  novel  of  lying.  He  is  simply 
creating,  or  imitating,  in  the  field  of  imagination. 

Imagination  is  the  child's  native  world.  When 
the  little  girl  says,  "My  dolly  is  sick,"  she  is  saying 

240 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  241 

that  which  is  not  so,  but  instead  of  reproving  her 
for  lying,  you  prepare  an  imaginary  pill  for  the  doll. 
Many  children's  lies  are  simply  elaborations  of 
their  doll-  and  plaything-imaginings.  When  my 
little  daughter  told  me,  ^nd  insisted  upon  it,  that 
she  had  seen  seven  bears,  of  varied  colors,  on  the 
avenue,  should  I  have  reproved  her  for  lying? 
Was  it  not  better  to  humor  her  fancy,  to  draw  it 
out,  to  give  it  free  play,  being  careful  gradually  to 
let  her  know  that  I  knew  it  was  fancy  ?  I  entered 
into  the  game  with  her  and  enjoyed  it  so  long  as 
we  all  understood  it  was  only  fancy.  It  is  a  crime 
to  crush  a  child's  power  of  creating  a  world  by 
imagination,  a  fair  world,  set  in  the  midst  of  this 
world  where  things  are  imperfect,  jarring,  and  dis- 
appointing, a  world  in  which  everything  is  always 
"just  so." 

But  one  must  also  carefully  aid  the  child  in 
distinguishing  between  the  world  of  fancy  and 
the  world  of  fact.  This  takes  time  and  patience. 
We  must  not  rob  the  Kfe  of  fancy  nor  must  we 
allow  the  habits  of  freedom  with  ideas  to  pass 
over  into  habits  of  carelessly  handling  realities. 
Along  with  the  development  of  fancy  we  must 
train  the  powers  of  exact  observation  and  state- 
ment of  facts.  The  child  who  saw  seven  bears, 
red,  green,  yellow,  etc.,  must  go  to  see  real  bears 
and  must  tell  me  exactly  their  colors  and  forms. 
Daily  training  in  exactitude  of  statements  of  real 


242    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

facts  is  the  best  antidote  for  a  fancy  that  has  run 
out  of  its  bounds.  It  establishes  a  habit  of  pre- 
cision in  thinking  which  is  the  essence  of  truth- 
telHng. 

§  2.      PROTECTEE   LYING 

But  there  is  another  form  of  lying  which  is  fre- 
quently met  in  some  form.  It  may  be  called 
protective  lying.  Ask  the  Httle  fellow  with  the 
jam-smeared  face,  "  Have  you  been  in  the  pantry  ?  " 
and  he  is  likely  to  do  the  same  thing  that  nature 
does  for  the  birds  when  she  gives  them  a  coat  that 
makes  it  easier  to  hide  from  their  enemies.  He 
valiantly  answers  *'No,  Mother."  He  would 
protect  himself  from  your  reproof.  There  has 
been  awakened  before  this  the  desire  to  seem 
good  in  your  eyes  and  he  desires  your  approbation 
most  of  all.  The  moral  struggle  with  him  is  very 
brief;  he  does  not  yet  distinguish  between  being 
good  and  seeming  good;  if  his  negative  answer 
will  help  him  to  seem  good  he  will  give  it. 

What  shall  we  do  ?  First,  stop  long  enough  to 
remember  that  appetites  for  jam  speak  louder 
than  your  verbal  prohibitions.  The  jam  was 
there  and  you  were  not.  It  can  hardly  be  said 
that  he  deliberately  chose  to  do  a  wrong;  he  is 
still  in  the  process  of  learning  how  to  do  things 
dehberately,  just  as  you  still  are,  for  that  matter. 
Consider  whether  your  training  of  the  anti-jam 
habit  has  been  really  conscientious  and  sufficient 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  243 

to  establish  the  habit  in  any  degree.  It  were  wiser 
to  ask  these  things  of  yourself  before  putting  the 
fateful  question  to  him.  It  would  be  better  not  to 
ask  a  small  child  that  question.  It  demands  too 
much  of  him.  Besides,  you  are  losing  a  chance 
to  estabHsh  a  valuable  idea  in  his  mind,  namely, 
that  acts  usually  carry  evidences  along  with  them. 
Better  sa)'',  "I  see  you've  been  m  the  pantry." 
That  will  help  to  establish  the  habit  of  expecting 
our  acts  to  be  known.  Then  would  follow  with 
the  little  child  the  careful  endeavor  to  train  him 
to  recognize  the  acts  that  are  wrong  because  harm- 
ful, greedy,  against  the  good  of  others,  and  against 
his  own  good. 

Just  here  parents,  especially  many  religious 
parents,  meet  the  temptation  thoughtlessly  to  use 
God  as  their  ally  by  reminding  the  child  that, 
though  they  could  not  see  him  in  the  pantry,  God 
was  there  watching  him.  In  the  vivid  memory  of 
a  childhood  clouded  by  the  thought  of  a  poHce- 
detective  Deity,  may  one  protest  against  this  act 
of  irreverence  and  blasphemy?  True,  God  was 
there;  but  not  as  a  spy,  a  reporter  of  all  that  is 
bad,  anxious  to  detect,  but  cowardly  and  cruel  in 
silence  at  all  other  times!  Let  the  child  grow  up 
with  the  happy  feeling  that  God  is  always  with 
him,  rejoicing  in  his  play,  his  well-aimed  ball,  his 
successes  in  school,  his  constant  friend,  helper,  and 
confidant.     I  like  better  the  God  to  whom  a  little 


244    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

fellow  in  Montana  prayed  the  other  day,  "  O  God, 
I  thank  you  for  helping  me  to  lick  Billy  Johnson!" 
The  child  of  the  pantry  needs  to  know  the  God  who 
will  help  him  to  do  and  know  the  right. 

§  3.      OLDER   children 

But  protective  lying  presents  a  more  serious 
problem  with  older  children.  The  school-teacher 
and  parent  meet  it,  just  as  the  judge  and  the  em- 
ployer meet  it  in  adults.  The  cure  Hes  early  in 
life.  Truth-telling  is  as  much  a  habit  as  lying  is. 
Perhaps  it  is  more  easily  practiced;  its  drafts  are 
on  the  powers  of  observation  and  memory  rather 
than  on  those  of  imagination.  Along  with  the 
child's  imaginative  powers  there  must  be  developed 
the  powers  of  exact  observation  and  description. 
Exact  observation  and  description  or  relation  are 
but  parts  of  the  larger  general  virtue  of  precision. 
Help  children  at  every  turn  of  hfe  to  be  right — 
right  in  doing  things,  right  in  thinking,  in  saying, 
and  in  execution.  Precision  at  any  point  in  life 
helps  Hft  the  Hfe's  whole  level.  Truth-telling  is 
not  a  separable  virtue.  You  cannot  make  a  boy 
truthful  in  word  if  you  let  him  He  in  deed.  You 
cannot  expect  he  will  speak  the  truth  if  you  do  not 
train  him  to  do  the  truth,  in  his  play,  in  ordering 
his  room,  in  thinking  through  his  school  problems, 
and  in  thinking  through  his  rehgious  difl&culties. 
Truth- telling  is   the   verbal   reaction   of   the   life 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  245 

which  habitually  holds  that  nothing  is  right  until 
it  is  just  right. 

Two  things  would,  ordinarily,  make  sure  of  a 
truthful  statement,  instead  of  a  protective  lie,  in 
answer  to  your  question:  first,  that  the  young 
person  has  been  trained  to  the  habit  of  seeing  and 
stating  tilings  as  they  are — and  that  you  really 
give  him  a  chance  so  to  state  them,  and,  secondly, 
that  to  some  degree  there  has  been  developed  a 
recognition  of  considerations  or  values  that  are 
higher  than  either  escape  from  punishment  or  the 
winning  of  your  approbation.  He  will  choose  the 
course  that  offers  what  seems  to  him  to  be  the 
greater  good;  he  will  choose  between  punishment, 
with  rectitude,  a  good  conscience,  a  sense  of  unity 
with  the  higher  good,  of  peace  with  God  his  friend, 
a  greater  approximation  to  your  ideal,  on  the  one 
side,  and,  on  the  other,  escape  from  punishment. 

Everything  in  that  crisis  will  depend  on  how  real 
you  have  made  the  good  to  be,  how  much  the  sense 
of  the  reality  of  God  and  his  companionship  has 
brought  of  joy  and  friendship,  and  how  high  are 
his  values  of  the  actual,  the  real,  the  true. 

§  4.      AT   THE   crisis 

But  what  shall  we  do  as  we  meet  the  He  on  the 
lips  of  the  child  ?  First,  as  already  suggested, 
do  not  wait  until  you  meet  it.  Train  the  child  to 
the  truthful  hfe.     Second,  be  sure  you  do  not  make 


246    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

too  heavy  moral  demands.  Remember  the  instinct 
to  protect  himself  from  immediate  punishment  or 
disapprobation  is  stronger  than  any  other  just  then. 
Do  not  ask  him  to  do  what  the  law  says  the  prisoner 
may  not  do,  incriminate  himself.  We  have  no 
right  to  put  on  our  children  tests  harder  than  they 
can  bear.  Often  we  put  those  which  are  harder 
than  we  could  face.  What  you  will  do  just  then 
depends  on  what  you  have  been  doing  for  the 
training  of  the  child  or  youth.  Do  not  expect 
him  to  solve  problems  in  moral  geometry  if  you 
have  neglected  simple  addition  in  that  realm. 

Punishment  by  the  blow  or  the  immediate 
sentence  will  be  futile.  The  offender  must  know 
he  has  trespassed  in  a  realm  beyond  your  admin- 
istration and  rule;  he  has  done  more  than  commit 
an  offense  against  you.  Whatever  consequences 
follow — such  as  your  hesitation  to  accept  his  word 
— ^must  evidently  be  a  part  of  the  operation  of  the 
entire  moral  law.  Help  him  to  see  that  lying 
strikes  at  the  root  of  all  social  relations  and  would 
make  all  happy  and  prosperous  living,  all  friend- 
ship, and  all  business  impossible  by  destroying 
social  confidence. 

Facing  the  crisis,  do  not  demand  more  than 
your  training  gives  you  a  right  to  expect.  Often, 
instead  of  the  direct  categorical  question  as  to 
guilt,  we  must  gradually  draw  out  a  narrative  of 
the  events  in  question;    we  must  patiently  help 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  247 

the  child  to  state  the  facts  and  to  see  the  values  of 
exactitudes.  Without  preaching  or  posing  we 
must  bring  the  events  into  the  light  of  larger  areas 
of  time  and  circles  of  life,  help  him  to  see  them 
related  to  all  his  Hfe  and  to  all  mankind  and  to  the 
very  fringes  of  existence,  to  God  and  the  eternal. 
That  cannot  be  done  in  a  moment;  it  is  part  of  a 
habit  of  our  own  minds  or  it  is  not  really  done  at 
all.  At  the  moment  we  can,  however,  make  the 
deepest  impression  by  insistence  on  the  importance 
of  the  actual,  the  real,  the  exactly  true. 

I.    References  for  Study 

E.  L.   Cabot,  Every  Day  Ethics,   chaps,   xix,  xx.    Holt, 

$1.25. 
W.  B.  Forbush,  On  Truth  Telling.     Pamphlet.    American 

Institute  of  Child  Life,  Philadelphia,  Pa. 
J.  Sully,  Children's  Ways,  pp.  124-33.     Appleton,  $1.  25. 

II.    Further  Reading 

G.  S.  Hall,   "A  Study  of  Children's  Lies,"  Educational 

Problems,  I,  chap.  vi.    Appleton,  $2 .  50. 
E.  P.  St.  John,  A  Genetic  Study  of  Veracity.     Pamphlet. 
J.  Sully,  Studies  in  Childhood. 
E.  H.  Griggs,  Moral  Education.     Huebsch,  $1 .  60. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  Are  there  degrees  of  lying  ? 

2.  When  is  a  lie  not  a  lie  ? 

3.  How  can  we  discriminate  among  the  statements  of 
children  ? 


248    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

4.  How  can  we  help  them  to  recognize  the  qualities  of 
truth? 

5.  In  what  ways  are  parents  to  blame  for  forcing  children 
to  protective  lying  ? 

6.  What  of  the  relation  of  the  thought  of  God  to  the 
demands  for  truth  ? 

7.  Would  you  punish  a  child  for  lying  and,  if  so,  in  what 
way? 


CHAPTER  XXII 

DEALING  WITH  MORAL  CRISES  (Concluded) 

§  I.      DISHONESTY 

Many  parents  appear  to  think  that  the  child's 
concepts  of  property  rights  and  of  fair  dealing  are 
without  importance.  Habits  of  pilfering  are  per- 
mitted to  develop  and  success  in  cheating  wins 
admiration.  Low  standards  are  accepted  and 
religion  is  divorced  from  moral  questions.  The 
family  attitude  practically  assumes  that  all  persons 
cheat  more  or  less  and  that  it  is  necessary  only  to 
use  wisdom  to  insure  freedom  from  conviction. 

Responsibility  lies  at  home.  We  shall  never 
have  an  honest  generation  until  we  have  honest 
men  and  women  to  breed  and  train  it.  It  is  folly 
to  think  we  can  lay  on  the  public  schools  the  burden 
of  the  moral  education  of  the  young.  Much  is 
already  being  attempted  there;  yet  little  seems  to 
be  accomplished  because  the  home,  having  the 
child  before  and  after  school  and  for  a  longer 
period  each  day,  furnishes  no  adequate  basis  in 
habits,  ideals,  and  instruction  for  the  moral  work 
of  the  school.  If  parents  assume  that  one  cannot 
succeed  with  absolute  integrity,  that  dishonesty 
in  some  degree  is  necessary  to  prosperity,  then 
children  wiU  learn  that  lesson  despite  all  that  may 

240 


250    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

be  said  elsewhere.  Honest  children  grow  where,  in 
answer  to  the  false  statement,  "You  will  starve 
if  you  do  business  honestly,"  parents  say,  "Then 
we  will  starve." 

But  the  very  home  life  itself  can  be  a  teacher  of 
dishonesty.  Is  it  largely  a  matter  of  sham  and 
pretense  for  the  sake  of  social  glory?  Does  it 
prefer  a  cheap  veneer  to  a  slowly  acquired  genuine 
article  ?  Is  the  front  appearance  that  of  a  dandy 
while  the  backyard  looks  like  a  slattern  ?  Is  the 
home  striving  for  more  than  it  deserves?  Is  it 
trying  to  get  more  out  of  life  than  it  puts  in  ? 
Evading  taxes,  avoiding  duties,  a  community 
parasite,  does  it  commend  to  children  the  arts  of 
social  cheating  and  lying?  Such  homes  teach  so 
loudly  that  no  voice  could  be  heard  in  them. 

Given  the  atmosphere,  ideals,  and  practices  of 
the  honest  life  in  the  home  itself,  the  problems  of 
conduct,  in  the  realm  of  these  rights,  are  more  than 
half  solved.  Here  in  the  home  the  real  training 
for  the  Ufe  of  business  takes  place.  Not  for  an 
instant  can  we  afford  to  lower  standards  here,  nor 
to  lose  sight  of  the  life-long  power  of  our  ideals, 
our  habits,  and  our  attitudes  on  the  conduct  of  the 
next  generation.  Do  parents  know  that  the  prob- 
lems of  lying,  cheating,  quarreling  are  the  great, 
vital  questions  for  their  children,  much  more 
important  than  industrial  or  professional  success 
in  life;  that  on  these  all  success  is  predicated  ?    If 


Dealing  with  Moeal  Crises  251 

they  do,  surely  they  cannot  regard  the  problems 
which  arise  as  mere  incidents;  surely  they  will  pro- 
vide for  the  culture  of  the  moral  life  as  definitely 
as  for  the  culture  of  the  physical  or  the  intellectual ! 

§  2,      LESSONS   IN  HONESTY 

But  children  also  acquire  habits  from  their  play- 
mates. Whenever  the  act  of  pilfering  appears,  the 
wrong  must  be  made  clear.  Some  sense  of  property 
rights  is  necessary;  not  the  right,  as  some  assume, 
to  do  what  you  will  with  a  thing  because  you  have 
it,  but  the  right  to  enjoy  and  usefully  employ  it. 
Help  children  to  see  the  difference  between  mine 
and  thine.  Slovenly  moral  thinking  often  comes 
from  too  great  freedom  in  forgetful  borrowing 
within  the  family.  In  this  Httle  social  group  the 
members  must  first  acquire  the  habits  of  respect 
for  the  rights  of  others.  Through  toys,  tools,  and 
books  the  lesson  may  be  learned  so  early  that  it 
becomes  a  part  of  the  normal  order  of  things. 

Children  can  learn  that  the  game  of  life  has  its 
rules  and  that  the  breach  of  these  rules  spoils  the 
game  and  prevents  our  own  happiness.  They 
can  learn,  too,  that  these  are  not  arbitrary  rules; 
they  are  like  the  laws  of  nature ;  they  are  the  condi- 
tions under  which  alone  it  is  possible  for  people  to 
Uve  together  and  to  make  Hfe  worth  while.  Gam- 
bling is  wrong  because  it  is  unsocial;  it  is  the 
attempt   to   gain  without  an   equivalent   giving. 


252    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

Cheating  is  wrong,  no  matter  how  many  practice 
it,  just  as  surely  as  cheating  is  wrong  in  the  game 
on  the  playground. 

Children  are  really  peculiarly  sensitive  to  the 
social  consciousness.  In  school  under  no  circum- 
stances will  they  do  that  which  the  school  custom 
forbids  or  the  older  boys  condemn.  In  the  home, 
despite  contrary  appearances,  the  opinion  of 
elders,  brothers,  sisters,  and  parents  is  the  recog- 
nized law.  Every  small  boy  wants  to  be  like  his 
big  brother.  Children's  conduct  may  be  guided 
by  an  understanding  of  the  social  will  outside  the 
school  and  home.  Help  them  to  know  that  all 
people  everywhere  in  organized  society  condemn 
cheating  and  dishonesty.* 

Sentiment  and  emotional  feeling  must  back 
up  all  teaching  of  conduct.  Your  stories  and 
readings  should  be  selected  with  this  in  mind. 
The  approbation  of  parents  and  of  the  great 
Father  of  all  enters  as  an  efifectual  motive. 

But  parents  seldom  understand  these  prob- 
lems; they  attempt  to  deal  ^dth  each  one  as  it 
arises  until  they  are  weary  of  the  seemingly  endless 
procession  and  abandon  the  task.  Their  endeav- 
ors are  based  on  faint  memories  of  such  problems 
in  their  own  youth  or  on  rule-of-thumb  proverbial 

'  Parents  will  be  helped  by  the  practical  discussions  of  cheat- 
ing, cribbing,  and  other  boy  problems  in  Johnson,  Problems  of 
Boyhood. 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  253 

philosophy  about  morals  and  children.  Does  not 
the  development  of  moral  ability  and  culture 
deserve  at  least  as  much  attention  as  any  other 
phase  of  the  child's  life?  After  all,  what  do  we 
most  of  all  desire  for  all  our  children — position, 
fame,  ease?  or  is  it  not  rather  simply  this,  that, 
no  matter  what  else  they  do,  they  may  be  good 
and  useful  men  and  women?  Then  what  are  we 
doing  to  make  them  good  and  useful? 

A  clear  view  of  the  need  for  moral  training,  a 
beHef  that  is  possible,  will  surely  lead  to  serious 
attempts  to  learn  the  art  of  moral  training.  In 
this  they  need  not  be  without  guidance.  There  is 
a  number  of  good  books  on  character  development 
in  the  child. ^  The  foundation  for  all  such  train- 
ing of  parents  ought  to  be  laid  in  an  understand- 
ing of  what  the  moral  nature  is,  and  then  of  the 
laws  of  its  development.  Later  the  specific  prob- 
lems may  be  separately  considered. 

§  3.      TEASING   AND   BULLYING 

Teasing  is  the  child's  crude  method  of  experi- 
mentation in  psychological  reactions;  the  teaser 
desires  to  discover  just  how  the  teased  will  respond. 
It  degenerates,  by  easy  steps,  into  a  thoughtless 
infliction  of  pain  in  sheer  enjoyment  of  another's 
misery,  and  then  into  brutal  bullying.  When  only 
two  children  are  together  mere  teasing  will  not 

'  See  "Book  List"  in  Appendix. 


2  54    Religious  Education  in  the  Faaoly 

last  long;  either  the  teaser  will  tire  of  his  task  or 
his  teasing  will  turn  to  that  lowest  of  all  brutalities, 
delight  in  inflicting  pain  on  weaker  ones. 

But  teasing  is  a  serious  problem  in  many  fami- 
lies; the  whole  group  sometimes  lives  in  an  at- 
mosphere of  ridicule,  derision,  and  annoyance. 
Teasing  is  likely  to  appear  at  its  worst  wherever  a 
group  is  gathered,  for  the  guilty  ones  are  under  the 
stimulus  of  the  praise  of  others;  they  inflict  mental 
pain  for  the  sake  of  winning  approbation. 

Teasing  has  a  pedagogical  basis.  A  certain 
amount  of  ridicule  acts  healthfully  on  most  persons. 
Even  children  need  sometimes  to  see  their  weak- 
nesses, and  especially  their  faults  of  temper,  in  the 
light  of  other  eyes,  in  the  aspect  of  the  ridiculous. 
But  children  are  seldom  to  be  trusted  to  discipline 
one  another;  freedom  to  do  so  is  likely  to  develop 
hardness,  indifference  to  the  sufferings  of  others, 
and  arrogance  from  the  sense  of  lordship.  The 
corrective  of  ridicule  is  safe  only  as  it  is  a  kindly 
expression  of  the  sense  of  humor.  The  ability 
to  see  and  to  show  just  how  foolish  or  funny  some 
situations  are  will  turn  many  a  tragedy  of  child- 
hood into  a  comedy.  Whenever  children  laugh 
at  the  distresses  or  faults  of  others,  help  them  to 
laugh  at  their  own.  Cultivate  the  habit  of  seeing 
the  odd,  the  whimsical,  the  humorous  side  of  things. 
A  sound  sense  of  kindly  humor  often  will  save  us 
all  from  unkind  teasing. 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  255 

§  4.  some  cures  for  teasing 
Help  the  habitual  and  unkind  teaser  to  see  how 
cowardly  the  act  is,  to  see  how  it  is  against  the 
spirit  of  fair  play.  Call  on  him  to  help  the  weaker 
one.  If  he  is  teasing  for  some  fault  of  temper  or 
some  habit,  show  him  the  chance  that  is  afforded 
to  do  the  nobler  deed  of  helping  another  to  over- 
come that  fault. 

Let  the  cowardly  teaser  reap  the  consequences 
of  his  own  act;  he  must  bear  the  burden  of  the 
critic,  the  expectation  of  perfection.  Teasing  him 
for  his  own  shortcomings  will  sometimes  cure  him, 
but  usually  he  loses  his  temper  quickly.  Make  him 
feel  the  injustice  of  the  teaser's  method.  If  he  is  a 
bully  he  needs  bullying.  If  ever  corporal  punish- 
ment is  wise  it  is  in  such  a  case.  He  who  inflicts 
pain  simply  because  he  can  deserves  to  endure 
pain  inflicted  by  someone  stronger.  But  one  must 
be  careful  not  to  confirm  him  in  the  coward's  code. 
The  injustice  of  it  he  must  see,  see  by  smarting 
under  it.  If  ever  punishment  before  others  is  wise 
it  is  in  this  case;  for  surely  he  who  delights  in 
humiliating  others  must  be  humiliated.  But 
though  justice  suggests  this  course,  experience 
shows  that  it  does  not  always  work;  the  bully  only 
bides  his  time,  and,  cherishing  resentment,  he 
wreaks  it  on  the  weaker  ones. 

The  best  cure  for  brutal  teasing  will  take  a  longer 
time  than  is  involved  in  a  thrashing.     Besides, 


256    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

the  teaser  will  get  his  thrashings  very  soon  from 
other  boys.  It  requires  time  to  change  the  habits 
that  make  bullying  possible.  Try  gradually  help- 
ing him  to  see  the  beauty  and  pleasure  of  helpful- 
ness. Give  him  a  chance  to  give  pleasure  instead 
of  pain.  Help  him  to  taste  the  joy  of  praise,  the 
praise  that  helps  more  than  all  teasing  criticism. 
Help  him  to  see  that  it  is  more  truly  a  mark  of 
superiority  to  help,  to  cheer,  to  do  good,  than  to 
oppress  and  tease.  Take  time  to  habituate  him 
in  helpfulness. 

In  dealing  with  teasing  in  the  family,  two  other 
things  are  worth  remembering:  First,  the  teased 
must  be  taught  the  protective  power  of  indifference. 
Teasers  stop  as  soon  as  their  barbs  fail  to  wound; 
the  fun  ends  there.  Laugh  at  those  who  laugh 
at  you,  and  they  will  soon  cease.  Secondly,  the 
atmosphere  and  habit  of  the  family  determine  the 
course  of  teasing.  Where  carping  criticism  and 
unkindly  ridicule  abound,  children  cannot  be 
blamed  for  like  habits.  Where  the  sense  of  humor 
lightens  tense  situations,  where  we  sacrifice  the 
pleasure  of  stinging  criticism  for  the  sake  of 
encouraging  those  who  most  need  it,  children  are 
quick  to  catch  those  habits  too.  The  teasing 
child  usually  comes  out  of  a  family  of  similar 
habits.  On  seeing  our  children  engaged  in  teasing 
others,  our  first  thought  ought  to  be  as  to  the 
extent  to  which  we  may  have  been  their  example 


Dealing  with  Moral  Crises  257 

in  this  respect.  Constant  watchfulness  on  our 
part  against  the  temptations  to  tease  will  have 
an  effect  far  more  potent  than  all  attempts  to 
talk  them  out  of  the  habit;  it  will  lead  them  out. 

I.    References  for  Study 

1 .  HONESTY 

P.  Du  Bois,  The  Culture  of  Justice,  chaps,  iii,  x.     Dodd, 

Mead  &  Co.,  $0.75. 
E.  P.  St.  John,  Child  Nature  and  Child  Nurture,  chap.  viii. 

Pilgrim  Press,  $0 .  50. 

2.  TEASING 

W.  L.  Sheldon,  A  Study  of  Habits,  chap.  xvii.     Welch  &  Co., 
Chicago,  $1.  25. 

II.    Further  Reading 

ON   GENERAL  MORAL  TRAINING 

Sneath  &  Hodges,  Moral  Training  in  School  and  Home. 

Macmillan,  $0.80. 
E.   O.   Sisson,    The   Essentials   of  Character.     MacmUlan, 

$1 .  00. 
H.  Thisleton  Mark,   The   Unfolding  of  Personality.     The 

University  of  Chicago  Press,  $i .  oo. 
Paul  Cams,  Our  Children.     Open  Court  Publishing  Co., 

$1.00. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  Of  what  importance  is  the  child's  sense  of  possession  ? 

2.  \Vhat  are  the  first  evidences  of  a  consciousness  of 
property  rights  ? 


258    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

3.  How  do  homes  train  in  dishonesty? 

4.  What  is  the  relation  between  cheating  and  dishonesty  ? 

5.  What  is  a  child  seeking  to  do  when  he  teases  another  ? 

6.  What  are  the  unfortunate  features  of  teasing  ? 

7.  What  is  the  relation  of  teasing  to  bullying  ? 

8.  What  cures  would  you  suggest  for  either  ? 


CHAPTER  XXIII 

THE  PERSONAL  FACTORS  IN  RELIGIOUS 
EDUCATION 

Whoever  will  stop  to  review  his  early  educational 
experience  will  be  impressed  with  the  instantaneous 
and  vivid  manner  in  which  certain  teachers  spring 
into  memory.  They  are  seen  as  though  actually 
Hving  again.  We  have  difficulty  in  recalling  even  the 
subjects  they  taught,  while  of  the  particulars  of  their 
teaching  we  have  absolutely  no  recollection.  But 
they  continue  to  influence  us ;  they  are  like  so  many 
silent  forces  leading  our  Hves  to  this  day.  The 
teacher  is  always  greater  than  his  lesson,  and  what 
he  is,  is  greater  than  what  he  says.  The  religious 
education  of  the  young  depends  more  on  the  gift  of 
persons,  on  contact  with  Uves,  than  on  anything  else. 

There  are  instructors  and  there  are  teachers; 
the  former  impart  information,  the  latter  convey 
personality ;  the  former  deal  with  subjects,  the  latter 
teach  people.  The  greatest  factor  in  education  as  a 
process  of  developing  persons  is  the  power  of  stimu- 
lating personahty.  The  power  of  the  family  as  an 
educational  agency  is  in  the  fact  that  it  is  an 
organization  of  persons  for  personal  purposes. 
When  you  take  the  persons  away  you  remove  all 
educational  potencies. 

259 


26o    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

The  depersonalized  home  is  the  modem  menace. 
We  have  come  to  think  that  provided  you  throw 
furniture  and  food  together  in  proper  proportions 
you  can  produce  a  capable  life.  So  we  depend 
on  the  home  as  a  piece  of  machinery  to  do  its 
work  automatically,  forgetting  that  the  working 
activity  is  not  the  home  but  the  family,  not  the 
furniture  but  people.  Life  can  only  come  from 
life,  and  lives  can  only  come  from  lives.  Personal- 
ity alone  can  develop  personaHty.  By  so  much  as 
you  rob  the  family  Ufe  of  your  personal  presence, 
as  mother  or  as  father,  you  take  away  from  its 
reality  as  a  family,  from  its  force  as  an  educational 
agency,  from  its  religious  reality. 

§  I.      ORPHANED   families 

All  that  is  said  here  about  fathers  might  well  be 
applied  to  mothers,  save  that  they  are  not  as 
flagrant  sinners  in  this  respect,  and,  besides,  it 
comes  with  better  grace  for  a  father  to  speak  on  the 
sins  of  fathers. 

There  are  too  many  fathers  who  are  financial 
and  physiological  fathers  only.  A  good  father 
easily  grows  as  crooked  as  a  dollar  sign  when  he 
is  nurtured  only  on  money.  Many,  both  fathers 
and  mothers,  take  parenthood  wholly  in  physio- 
logical terms,  imagining — if  they  think  about  it  at 
all — that  they  have  fully  discharged  all  possible 
obligations  if  only  they  know  how  to  bear,  feed, 


The  Personal  Factors  261 

and  clothe  children  properly.  True,  such  duties 
are  fundamental,  but  no  father  can  be  rightly 
called  "a.  good  provider"  who  provides  only  things 
for  his  family,  no  matter  with  what  generosity  he 
provides  these  things.  Our  homes  need  more 
of  ourselves  first  of  all. 

He  makes  a  capital  error  of  setting  first  things 
in  secondary  places  who  willingly  permits  business 
to  interfere  with  the  pleasure  of  being  with  his 
children.  Our  social  order  fights  its  own  welfare 
as  long  as  any  father  is  chained  to  the  wheels  of 
industry  through  the  hours  that  belong  to  his 
home.  But  there  are  just  as  many  who  are  not 
chained,  but  who  enslave  themselves  to  business, 
and  so  miss  the  largest  and  best  business  in  the 
world,  the  development  of  children's  characters. 

Many  a  good  father  goes  wrong  here.  Love  and 
ambition  prompt  him  to  provide  abundantly  for 
his  children;  he  enslaves  himself  to  give  them 
those  social  advantages  which  he  missed  in 
youth. 

But  it  is  a  short-measure  love  that  gives  only 
gifts  and  never  gives  itself.  The  heart  hungers, 
not  for  what  you  have  in  your  hand,  but  for  what 
you  are.  ''The  gift  without  the  giver  is  bare." 
No  amount  of  bountiful  providing  can  atone  for 
the  loss  of  the  father's  personality.  It  is  easy 
for  the  hands  to  be  so  engrossed  in  providing  that 
the  home  is  left  headless  and  soon  heartless.    If 


262    Religious  Education  m  the  Family 

we  at  all  desire  the  fruits  of  character  in  the  home 
we  must  give  ourselves  personally. 

It  is  not  alone  the  habitue  of  the  saloon  or  the 
idler  in  clubs  and  fraternities  who  is  guilty  of 
stealing  from  the  home  its  rightful  share  of  his 
presence.  He  who  gives  so  much  of  himself  to 
any  object  as  not  to  give  the  best  of  himself  to  his 
family  comes  under  the  apK)stolic  ban  of  being 
worse  than  an  infidel.  A  father  belongs  to  his  home 
more  than  he  belongs  to  his  church.  There  have 
been  men,  though  probably  their  number  is  not 
legion,  who  have  allowed  church  duties,  meetings, 
and  obligations  so  to  absorb  their  time  and  energy 
that  they  have  given  only  a  worn-out,  burned-out, 
and  useless  fragment  of  themselves  to  their  chil- 
dren. Some  have  found  it  more  attractive  to 
talk  of  the  heavenly  home  in  prayer-meeting  or 
to  be  gracious  to  the  stranger  and  to  win  the  smile 
of  the  neighbor  at  the  church  than  to  take  up  the 
by-no-means-easy  task  of  being  godly,  sympathetic 
and  cheerful,  courteous  and  kind  among  their 
children  and  in  their  homes.  No  matter  what  it 
may  be,  church  or  club,  politics  or  reform  organiza- 
tion, we  are  working  at  the  wrong  end  if  we  are 
allowing  them  to  take  precedence  of  the  home. 

§  2.      THE  father's   chance 

The  father  owes  it  to  his  family  to  give  himself 
at  his  best,  that  is,  as  far  as  possible,  when  his 


The  Personal  Factors  263 

vitality  is  freshest  and  his  powers  keenest  to  answer 
to  the  young  hfe  about  him.  He  owes  it  to  his 
family  to  conserve  for  it  the  time  to  think  of  its 
needs,  time  to  Hsten  to  the  wife's  story  of  its 
problems,  time  to  sit  and  sympathize  with  children, 
time  to  hear  their  seemingly  idle  prattle,  time  to 
play  with  them.  Have  you  ever  noticed  this 
great  difference  between  the  father  and  the  mother, 
that  while  the  latter  always  has  time  to  bind  up 
cut  fingers  and  to  hear  to  its  end  the  story  of  what 
the  Uttle  neighbor,  Johnny  Smith,  did  and  said, 
somehow  father's  ear  seems  deaf  to  such  stories 
and  he  is  often  too  busy  to  sympathize  ?  It  might 
work  a  vast  change  in  some  famihes  if  the  "chil- 
dren's hour"  had  a  call  to  the  father  as  well  as  to 
the  mother.  Of  course  we  are  crowded  with  social 
engagements  and  hfe  is  at  high  pressure  under  the 
enticing  obligation  of  upHf ting  and  reforming  every- 
body else,  yet  one  hour  of  every  evening  held  sacred 
for  the  firelight  conversation,  one  in  which  the  chil- 
dren could  really  get  at  our  hearts,  might  be  worth 
more  to  tomorrow  than  all  our  public  propaganda. 
Fathers  owe  their  brains  as  well  as  their  hands 
to  their  families.  Competent  and  efl&cient  father- 
hood does  not  come  by  accident.  We  are  learning 
that  children  cannot  be  understood  merely  by 
loving  them,  that  two  things  must  be  held  in 
balance:  the  scientific  and  the  sympathetic  study 
of  childhood.     Is  there  any  good  reason  why,  while 


264    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

so  readily  granting  that  mothers  should  belong  to 
mothers'  clubs,  study  child  psychology,  the  hygiene 
of  infancy,  domestic  science,  and  eugenics,  we 
should  assume  that  fathers  may  safely  dispense 
with  all  such  knowledge?  There  are  men  who 
sit  up  nights  studying  how  to  grow  the  biggest 
radishes  in  the  block,  there  are  men  who  toil 
through  technical  handbooks  on  the  game  of  golf, 
who  would  look  at  you  in  open-eyed  wonder  if 
you  should  suggest  the  duty  of  studying  their 
children  with  equal  scientific  patience.  They  of 
course  desire  to  have  ideal  children  but  they  are 
not  wilhng  to  learn  how  to  grow  them. 

§  3.      FATHERING  AS  A  MAN's   TASK 

It  takes  intelligence  and  burns  up  brain  power 
to  keep  the  confidence  of  your  boy  so  that  he  will 
freely  talk  of  his  own  life  and  needs  to  you.  Those 
much-to-be-desired  open  doors  are  kept  open,  not 
by  accident,  nor  by  our  sentiments  or  wishes  alone. 
A  boy  changes  so  fast  that  a  man  has  to  be  alert, 
thinking  and  trying  to  understand  and  sympathize 
all  the  time.  The  boy  sees  through  all  sleepy 
pretenses  of  understanding.  We  keep  the  open 
door  of  confidence  only  as  by  steady  endeavor  we 
keep  in  real  touch  with  the  boy's  world. 

Fathers  are  ignorant  of  the  problems  of  family 
training;  they  oscillate  between  the  wishy-washy 
sentimentaHty  that  permits  anarchy  in  the  home 


The  Personal  Factors  265 

and  the  harsh,  unthinking  despotism  that  breeds 
hatred  and  rebellion.  Fathers  criticize  the  public 
schools  but  never  take  the  time  to  go  and  look 
inside  one.  They  laugh  at  women's  clubs  because 
they  are  too  lazy  to  make  a  like  investment  in  the 
patient  study  of  some  of  their  problems.  They 
affect  indifference  to  the  parent-teacher  clubs  while 
remaining  ignorant  of  the  significant  things  they 
have  already  accomphshed  for  the  schools.  If 
we  were  to  make  an  inventory  of  what  the  women, 
the  mothers,  have  accomphshed  by  study,  agita- 
tion, and  legislation  for  social,  civic,  ethical,  and 
rehgious  betterment,  we  proud  lords  of  creation 
would,  or  ought  to,  hang  our  heads  in  shame. 

Fatherhood  is  our  chance  to  become.  It  is  our 
chance  to  grow  into  our  finest  selves.  The  measure 
of  its  gains  to  us  depends  upon  the  measure  of 
our  gifts  to  its  opportunities  and  duties.  It  is  our 
chance  to  be  what  we  should  Uke  our  children  to  be, 
our  chance  to  find  ourselves.  AU  that  it  costs,  all 
the  self-denial,  labor,  and  often  pain  it  must  mean, 
is  just  the  process  of  developing  a  fine,  rich  life. 
Now,  that  life  is  just  the  greatest  gift  that  any  man 
can  make  to  his  home  and  his  world.  We  can 
never  give  any  more  than  ourselves  or  any  other 
than  ourselves,  and  this  pathway  of  sacrifice,  this 
costly  way  of  home-making,  is  a  man's  chance  to 
become  Godlike.  The  race  has  come  upward  in 
this  way.     It  needs  the  masculine  in  its  ideal  self 


266    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

as  well  as  the  feminine.  There  is  no  race  salvation 
without  constant  individual  self-giving.  That 
self-giving  must  be  balanced  equally  on  the  part 
of  the  man  and  the  woman.  Fatherhood,  like 
motherhood,  is  just  our  chance  to  leam  life's  best 
lesson,  that  there  is  a  certain  short  path  to  happi- 
ness which  men  have  called  the  way  of  pain  and 
God  calls  the  way  of  peace. 

Motherhood  is  a  sacred  portion,  but  so  is  father- 
hood. Its  calls  are  just  as  high,  its  service  just 
as  holy,  its  opportunities  just  as  large,  its  meaning 
just  as  divine.  How  worse  than  empty  are  all 
our  pratings  about  divine  fatherhood  if  we  illus- 
trate its  meaning  only  degradingly  or  misleadingly ! 
And  just  as  the  Ufe  of  the  spirit  is  the  gift  of  that 
divine  fatherhood,  so  for  us  the  gift  of  our  hves, 
ourselves,  is  the  largest  and  richest  contribution  we 
can  make  to  the  religious  hves  of  our  children. 

The  father  as  a  teacher  teaches  by  what  he  is. 
The  classes  in  the  home  have  no  set  lessons,  for 
the  text  is  written  in  lives  and  the  word  is  spoken 
and  taught  in  personality.  You  effect  the  religious 
education  of  your  children  in  the  degree  that  you 
give  yourself  as  a  simple  religious  person  to  them. 

I.    References  for  Study 

Hodges,  Training  of  Children  in  Religion,  chap.  vii.  Apple- 
ton,  $1 .  50. 

K.  G.  Busby,  Home  Life  in  America,  chaps,  i,  ii.  Macmil- 
lan,  $2.00. 


The  Personal  Factor  267 

II.    Further  Reading 

E.  A.  Abbott,  On  the  Training  of  Parents.    Houghton 

Mifflin  Co.,  $1.00. 
Allen,  Making  the  Most  of  Our  Children.     2  vols.     McClurg, 

$1 .  00  each. 
Wilm,  The  Culture  of  Religion,  chap.  ii.    Pilgrim  Press, 

$0.75. 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  Which  do  you  remember  best,  your  teachers  or  your 
lessons  ?    Why  ? 

2.  Describe,  from  your  memory,  some  of  the  influences 
of  personality  ? 

3.  Are  these  influences  greater  or  less  with  parents  on 
children  ? 

4.  What  are  the  causes  that  separate  parents  and  chil- 
dren? 

5.  How  shall  we  define  duties  to  business,  to  society,  and 
to  the  family  ? 

6.  Under  what  circumstances  is  one  justified  in  refusing 
time  to  the  church  for  the  sake  of  the  family  ? 

7.  What  are  the  best  times  and  opportimities  for  the 
strengthening  of  the  personal  bonds  between  children  and 
parents  ? 

8.  How  shall  we  overcome  the  apparent  difficulty  of 
maintaining  the  confidence  of  children  ? 


CHAPTER  XXIV       . 
LOOKING  TO  THE  FUTURE 

Whether  we  can  remedy  the  ills  of  family  Uving 
today  or  not,  we  can  determine  the  character  of  the 
family  life  of  the  future.  The  homes  of  tomorrow 
are  being  determined  today.  The  children  who 
swing  their  feet  in  schoolrooms  and  play  in  our 
gardens  wiU  control  family  Hving  very  soon.  We 
can  do  httle  to  reconstruct  the  old  order;  we  can 
do  everything  to  determine  the  new.  When  the 
mountain  sides  have  been  made  bare,  forest  con- 
servation cannot  save  the  old  trees,  but  it  can 
prepare  for  new  growths.  Ours  is  the  larger 
opportunity  because  we  can  determine  the  ideals 
of  our  children.  Today  we  can  determine  that 
they  shall  not  suffer  from  false  conceptions,  shall 
not  bruise  themselves  in  the  blind  ignorance  that 
compelled  us  to  find  our  own  way.  We  shall  see 
that,  first,  in  the  education  of  our  children  we  can 
save  the  homes  of  tomorrow  by  training  the  chil- 
dren of  today  to  set  first  things  first.  If  family 
life  has  been  neglected  in  America,  it  has  been 
because  we  have  submerged  its  real  values  of 
character  and  affection  in  a  flood  of  things,  of 
materiahsm. 

268 


Looking  to  the  Future  269 

§  I.  A  constructive  policy  for  character 
The  future  higher  efficiency  of  the  family  de- 
pends on  an  extension  of  a  conscience  for  character 
through  all  our  thinking  on  the  family.  We  are 
really  half-ashamed  to  talk  of  character.  We 
blush  for  ideals  but  we  have  no  shame  in  boasting 
of  commerce  and  factories;  we  are  ashamed  of 
the  things  of  beauty  and  we  love  only  the  useful. 
So  we  have  become  ashamed  of  the  ideals  of  the 
home.  Not  only  do  we  passively  acquiesce  in  the 
popular  attitude  of  indifference  or  derision,  but 
we  voice  it  ourselves.  We  join  in  the  jest  at 
marriage;  we  joke  over  marital  infehcities.  We 
would  be  ashamed  to  be  caught  singing  ''Home, 
Sweet  Home."  What  is  more  important,  we  show 
that,  as  a  people,  we  have  less  and  less  the  habit 
of  regarding  the  home  as  any  other  than  a  commer- 
cial affair.  The  tendency  is  to  determine  domestic 
living  wholly  by  economic  factors.  The  literature 
on  the  "home"  is  overwhelmingly  economic;  its 
heart  is  in  the  kitchen.  High  efficiency  on  the 
physiological,  sanitary,  culinary,  and  mechanical 
sides  makes  the  modern  home  so  convenient  that 
you  can  lie  on  a  folding  bed,  press  a  button  to 
Hght  the  grate  j&re,  turn  on  the  Hghts,  start  the 
toaster,  and  wake  the  children.  *  Homes  are  places 
to  hide  in  at  night,  to  feed  the  body,  arrange  the 
clothes,  and  start  out  from  for  real  living.  They 
are  private  hotels. 


270    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

If  we  would  save  the  family  we  must  save  the 
child  from  losing  sight  of  the  primacy  of  human 
values;  we  must  strengthen  his  natural  faith  that 
people  are  worth  more  than  all  besides,  leading  him 
into  the  faith  that  moral  integrity,  truth,  honor, 
righteousness,  are  the  glory  of  a  Ufe.  More,  these 
young  Hves  must  be  trained  to  habitual  and 
eflScient  right-doing.  In  a  word,  the  conservation 
of  the  home  is  simply  a  program  of  beginning  today 
ourselves  to  set  first  things  first,  to  conserve  the 
human  factors  that  wall  make  homes,  to  make 
education  everywhere  in  school  and  church  and 
home  count  first  of  all  for  character.  And  that 
broader  education  we  ourselves  must  test  first 
of  aU  by  this,  whether  it  makes  youth  competent 
to  Uve  aright,  cultivates  the  love  of  worthy  ideals, 
and  makes  him  willing  and  able  to  pay  the  price 
of  a  trained  fife  consecrated  to  the  service  of  his 
world,  to  the  love  of  his  fellows,  and  to  the  making 
of  a  new  world. 

We  shall  need,  first,  to  safeguard  the  primary 
motives  that  enter  into  the  founding  of  families. 
Those  motives  begin  to  develop  early.  They  are 
in  the  making  in  childhood.  Somehow  we  must 
plan  the  education  of  youths  so  that  they  will 
think  of  homes  and  of  marriage  in  new  terms. 
Possibly  the  public  school  will  not  only  teach  the 
physiology  of  marriage  and  the  bare  physical  facts 
of  sexual  purity,  but  will  teach  new  ideals  of  family 


Looking  to  the  Future      271 

life;  it  will  count  it  at  least  as  much  a  duty  to 
cultivate  a  love  of  home  as  it  is  to  cultivate  a  love 
of  country.  It  can  set  so  clearly  the  final  objec- 
tive of  character  that  even  children  shall  see  that 
life  has  higher  ends  than  money-making  and  the 
family  greater  purposes  than  garish  social  display. 

§  2.      THE  CHURCH  AffilNG 

Certainly  the  church  must  seek  to  quicken  and 
develop  new  ideals  of  family  life;  it  must  bring 
religion  to  our  hearths  and  homes;  it  must  worry 
less  about  a  "home  over  there,"  and  show  how 
truly  heavenly  homes  may  be  made  here.  It  must 
not  only  get  youth  ready  to  die,  it  must  prepare 
them  to  live;  to  live  together  on  religious  terms. 
It  will  do  this,  not  only  by  general  discussions  in 
the  pulpit,  but  by  special  instruction  in  classes. 
No  church  has  a  clear  conscience  in  regard  to  any 
young  person  contemplating  the  duties  of  a  family 
whom  it  has  not  directly  instructed  in  the  duties 
of  that  life. 

It  is  a  strange  spectacle,  if  we  would  stop  long 
enough  to  look  at  it,  of  the  church  proclaiming  a 
way  of  life  but  scarcely  ever  teaching  it.  In  any 
church  there  is  a  large  number  of  young  p>eople 
under  instruction;  what  are  they  learning? 
Usually  a  theological  interpretation  ot  an  ancient 
religious  literature.  Some  still  are  learning  to 
hate  all  other  persons  whose  religion  differs  from 


272    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

the  brand  carried  in  that  institution.  In  a  few 
years  these  youths  will  be  bearing  social  burdens, 
facing  temptations,  taking  up  duties;  does  their 
teaching  relate  at  all  to  these  things  ?  No,  indeed, 
that  would  be  "worldly";  it  would  seem  to  be 
sacrilegious  to  teach  them  how  actually  to  be 
reUgious.  The  business  of  the  church  school  is 
still  largely  that  of  filling  minds  with  theological 
data  rather  than  training  young,  trainable  lives 
to  become  religious  schoolboys,  religious  voters, 
rehgious  parents.  How  many  have  been  at  all 
influenced  by  Sunday-school  teaching  when  they 
stepped  into  a  polling-booth,  when  they  chose  a 
life-mate,  when  they  guided  or  discipHned  their 
children?  If  religious  education  does  not  at  all 
influence  us  in  the  great  events  of  life,  of  what  value 
is  it  to  us  ?  Must  it  not  be  counted  a  sheer  waste 
of  time  ? 

If  we  would  conserve  the  human  values  of  the 
family  we  must  train  youth  to  a  religious  interpre- 
tation of  the  home.  If  we  cannot  do  that  in  the 
church  we  might  as  well  confess  that  the  church 
cannot  touch  the  sources  of  human  affairs. 

§  3.      IDEALS  AND   METHODS 

No  matter  what  the  breadth  of  the  interests 
of  the  pubHc  school,  youth  will  still  need  training 
for  family  hving  given  under  religious  auspices 
and  with  the  rehgious  aim.     The  day  school  may 


Looking  to  the  Future  273 

give  courses  in  domestic  economy,  but  family 
living  demands  more  than  ability  to  sweep  a  room 
or  cook  an  egg.  In  fact,  no  one  can  be  competent 
to  meet  its  higher  demands  unless  at  least  two 
things  are  accompHshed,  first,  that  he,  or  she, 
is  led  to  see  the  family  as  essentially  a  rehgious, 
spiritual  institution  because  it  is  an  association  of 
persons  for  the  purpose  of  developing  other  persons 
to  spiritual  fulness;  secondly,  that  he,  or  she,  is 
moved  to  willingness  to  count  the  work  of  the 
family,  its  purpose  and  aim,  as  the  highest  in  Ufe 
and  that  for  which  one  is  wilhng  to  pay  any  price 
of  time,  treasure,  thought,  and  endeavor. 

This  means  that  the  fundamental  need  is  that 
our  young  people  shall  grow  up  with  a  new  vision 
and  a  new  passion  for  the  home  and  family. 
That  passion  is  needed  to  give  value  to  any  training 
in  the  economics  or  mechanics  of  the  home;  and 
that  training  is  precisely  the  contribution  which 
the  church  should  make  to  all  departments  of  life 
today.  It  is  the  prophet,  the  interpreter,  reveaUng 
the  spiritual  meanings  of  all  daily  affairs  and 
quickening  us  to  right  feehng,  to  highly  directed 
passion  for  worthy  ideals. 

From  the  general  teaching,  the  high  message  of 
the  church,  directed  to  this  special  problem,  there 
must  be  formed  in  the  mind  of  the  coming  genera- 
tion a  new  picture  of  the  family,  a  new  ethics  of  its 
life,  a  new  evaluation  of  its  worth.     That  can  come 


274    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

in  part  by  the  prophetic  message  from  the  pulpit, 
but  it  will  come  more  naturally  and  readily  by 
regular  teaching  directed  to  the  actual  experiences 
and  the  coming  needs  of  the  young  people  who  are 
to  be  home-makers.  The  soaring  ideals  pass  over 
their  heads,  but  when  you  teach  the  practice,  the 
details  of  the  life  of  the  family  in  the  spirit  of  these 
ideals,  as  interpreted  and  determined  by  the  higher 
conception,  then  they  catch  the  vision  through  the 
details. 

We  need  two  types  of  classes  in  church  schools 
in  relation  to  the  life  of  the  family:  First,  classes 
for  young  people  in  which  their  social  duties  as 
religious  persons  are  carefully  taught  and  dis- 
cussed. Perhaps  such  courses  should  not  be 
specifically  on  "The  Family,"  but  this  institution 
ought,  in  the  course,  to  occupy  a  place  propor- 
tionate to  that  which  belongs  to  it  in  life.  The 
instruction  should  be  specific  and  detailed,  not 
simply  a  series  of  homilies  on  "The  Christian 
Family,"  "Love  of  Home,"  etc.,  but  taking  up 
the  great  problems  of  the  economic  place  of  the 
family  today,  its  spiritual  function,  questions  of 
choice  of  hfe-partners,  types  of  dwelling,  finances 
and  money  relations  in  the  family,  children  and 
their  training,  and  the  actual  duties  and  problems 
which  arise  in  family  living. 

All  topics  should  be  treated  from  the  dominant 
viewpoint  of  the  family  as  a  religious  institution 


Looking  to  the  Future  275 

for  the  development  of  the  lives  of  religious 
persons.  The  courses  should  be  so  arranged  as 
to  be  given  to  young  people  of  about  twenty 
years  of  age,  or  of  twenty  to  twenty-five.  They 
should  be  among  the  electives  ofifered  in  the 
church   school. 

The  second  type  of  class  would  be  for  those 
who  are  already  parents  and  who  desire  help  on 
their  special  problems.  Many  schools  now  con- 
duct such  classes,  meeting  either  on  Sunday  or 
during  the  week.*  Work  on  "Parents'  Problems," 
"Family  Religious  Education,"  and  similar  topics 
is  also  being  given  in  the  city  institutes  for  religious 
workers.  No  church  can  be  satisfied  with  its 
service  to  the  community  unless  it  provides  oppor- 
tunity for  parents  to  study  their  work  of  character 
development  through  the  family  and  to  secure 
greater  efficiency  therein.  Such  classes  need  only 
three  conditions:  a  clear  understanding  of  the 
purpose  of  meeting  the  actual  problems  of  religious 
training  in  the  family,  a  leader  or  instructor  who 
is  really  qualified  to  lead  and  to  instruct  in  this 
subject,  and  an  invitation  to  parents  to  avail 
themselves  of  this  opportunity. 

'  Pamphlets  on  plans  for  parents*  classes:  The  Home  and  the 
Sunday  School,  Pilgrim  Press;  Plans  for  Mothers'  and  Parents' 
Meetings,  Sunday  School  Times  Co.;  How  to  Start  a  Mothers' 
Department,  David  C.  Cook  Co.;  The  Parents'  Department  of  the 
Sunday  School,  Cormecticut  Sunday  School  Association,  Hart- 
ford, Coim. 


276    Religious  Education  in  ihe  Family 

The  value  of  such  a  class  would  be  greatly 
enhanced  if  it  should  be  held  in  close  co-ordination 
with  similar  classes  or  clubs  conducted  by  the  pub- 
lic schools.^  Here  all  the  parents  of  the  community 
meet  in  the  school  building,  not  to  discuss  how  the 
teachers  may  satisfy  parental  criticism,  but  to 
learn  what  the  school  has  to  teach  on  modem 
educational  methods  applied  to  the  life  of  the  child, 
especially  in  the  family,  and  mutually  to  find  ways 
of  co-operation  between  the  home  and  the  school 
for  the  betterment  of  the  child. 


I.    References  for  Study 

Articles  in  Religious  Education,  April,  1911,  VI,  1-77. 
Helen  C.  Putnam  in  Religious  Education,  June,  191 1,  VI, 

159-66. 
George  W.  Dawson  in  Religious  Education,  June,   191 1, 

VI,  167-74. 
Cabot,  Volunteer  Help  in  the  Schools,  chap.  vii.    Houghton 

Mifflin  Co.,  $0.60. 

II.    Further  READmc 

Forsyth,  Marriage,  Its  Ethics  and  Religion.  Hodder  & 
Stoughton,  $1.  25. 

Lovejoy,  Self-Training  for  Motherhood.  American  Uni- 
tarian Association,  $1.00. 

Pomeroy,  Ethics  of  Marriage.     Funk  &  Wagnalls,  $1 .  50. 

'  See  pamphlet  published  by  the  National  Congress  of 
Mothers:  How  to  Organize  Parents'  Associations  and  Mothers' 
Circles  in  Public  Schools. 


LOOKENG   TO   THE   FUTURE  277 

III.    Topics  for  Discussion 

1.  In  how  far  are  home  problems  due  to  the  ignorance 
of  parents  ? 

2.  What  do  you  regard  as  the  essentials  in  the  training 
of  parents  ? 

3.  Where  can  the  necessary  subjects  best  be  taught? 

4.  What  are  the  difficulties  in  the  way  of  teaching  these 
subjects  to  young  people  ? 

5.  In  how  far  can  we  direct  the  reading  of  young  people 
toward  sane  and  helpful  knowledge  of  family  life  and  duties  ? 


APPENDIXES 


APPENDIX  I 

SUGGESTIONS  FOR  CLASS  WORK 

This  book  is  designed  for  individual  reading  or 
for  use  in  classes.  It  is  not  a  textbook  of  the  same 
character  as  a  textbook  in  mathematics  or  history, 
but  the  material  is  arranged  so  as  to  be  both  easily 
readable  and  of  ready  analysis  for  classes.  There 
are  two  methods  of  following  the  course:  one  by 
work  conducted  under  a  regular  teacher  in  a  class, 
and  the  other  by  private  or  correspondence  study. 

§  I.      THE   CLASS 

The  class  should  be  composed  of  parents  and 
other  adults,  inasmuch  as  the  work  is  designed  for 
them.  It  may  be  a  class  in  connection  with  the 
Sunday  school  in  a  church,  a  class  conducted  by 
a  mothers'  club  or  congress  or  by  a  parent-teacher 
association,  or  it  may  be  organized  under  other 
auspices.  Or  it  might  be  organized  by  a  group 
of  parents  in  any  community.  The  class  need  not 
consist  of  either  fathers  or  mothers  alone,  as  the 
work  is  planned  for  both.  In  any  case  the  work 
of  teaching  will  be  facilitated  if,  in  addition  to  the 
customary  officers  of  the  class,  the  teacher  will 
appoint  a  Kbrarian,  whose  duties  would  be  to 
ascertain  for  the  members  of  the  class  where  the 
281 


282    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

books  for  study  and  for  reference  may  be  obtained, 
that  is,  whether  they  are  in  the  public  library, 
church  library,  or  in  private  collections,  and  also, 
whenever  it  is  desired  to  purchase  books,  where 
they  may  best  be  secured. 

§  2.      THE    TEACHER 

The  primary  requisite  for  the  teacher  will  be  an 
eagerness  to  learn,  a  sufi&ciently  deep  interest  in  the 
subject  to  lead  to  thorough  study.  No  one  can  teach 
this  class  who  already  knows  all  about  the  sub- 
ject. A  spirit  sympathetic  with  the  child  and  the 
life  of  the  family  and  a  mind  willing  to  study  the 
subject  will  accompHsh  much  more  than  facile 
rhetorical  familiarity  with  it.  The  best  teacher 
will  not  often  be  "an  easy  talker"  on  the  family; 
class  time  is  too  precious  to  be  occupied  with  a 
lecture.  While,  naturally,  one  who  is  a  parent 
will  speak  with  greater  experience  than  another, 
the  abihty  to  teach  this  subject  cannot  be  limited 
to  fathers  and  mothers;  physiological  parenthood 
is  less  important  than  spiritual  parenthood.  The 
teacher  must  have,  then,  willingness  to  study  the 
subject,  abiUty  to  teach  as  contrasted  with  mere 
talking,  sympathy  with  parenthood,  and  a  passion 
for  the  religious  personal  values  in  life. 

§  3.      GENERAL  METHOD 

The  teacher's  aim  will  be  to  make  this  course 
definitely  practical.     The  book  is  not  concerned 


Suggestions  for  Class  Work  283 

so  much  with  theories  of  the  family  as  with  the 
present  problems  of  the  family,  and  especially  with 
those  that  relate  to  moral  and  rehgious  education. 
There  must  be  a  sense  of  definite  problems  to  be 
concretely  treated  in  all  lessons.  The  teacher  will 
therefore  encourage  discussion,  but  will  also  avoid 
the  tendency  to  drift  into  desultory  conversation. 
Direct  the  discussion  to  avoid  tedious  detours  on 
side  issues.  Direct  the  discussion  to  avoid  the 
tendency  to  treat  superficially  all  the  subject  at 
one  session.  It  will  be  necessary  frequently  to 
insist  that  attention  be  focused  upon  the  immedi- 
ate problems  suggested  by  the  lesson  for  the  day, 
and  to  ask  the  class  to  wait  until  the  subjects 
which  they  in  their  eagerness  suggest  shall  come 
in  their  due  order. 

Encourage  personal  experiences  as  sidelights 
and  criticisms  on  the  text,  but  remember  that  no 
single  experience  is  conclusive.  Beware  of  the 
over-elaboration  and  detailed  narration  of  expe- 
riences. 

Insist  on  a  thorough  study  of  the  text.  Students 
should  be  so  prepared  as  to  make  a  lecture  super- 
fluous and  to  allow  discussion  to  take  the  place  of 
review  and  explanation.  The  greatest  danger  in 
parents'  classes  is  that  the  members  do  not  study; 
class  work  becomes  indefinite  and  soon  loses  value. 
Again,  the  members  of  the  class  often  are  unwilling 
to  be  governed  by  the  schedule  of  lessons,  and  the 


284    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

class  drifts  into  aimless  conversation.  Adult 
students  especially  need  to  be  turned  from  the 
tendency  to  regard  educational  experience  as 
having  come  to  an  end  with  their  school  days. 
The  members  of  this  class  will  need  encouragement; 
they  must  be  stimulated  patiently  until  they  have 
re-formed  some  habits  of  study  and  rediscovered 
the  pleasures  of  systematic  thinking.  The  best 
stimulus  will  be  a  teacher  so  convinced  of  the 
supreme  importance  of  the  subject  to  be  studied 
as  to  lead  the  members  to  recognize  its  importance 
and  the  insignificance  of  any  price  they  may  pay 
for  efficient  spiritual  parenthood. 

§  4.      CLASS   WORK 

At  the  first  session  teach  chap,  i,  which  is  intro- 
ductory. Draw  out  discussion  on  the  points  sug- 
gested therein,  and  assign  this  chapter  and  the  one 
following  for  the  next  session.  The  first  lesson  will 
give  the  teacher  opportunity  to  explain  and  illustrate 
the  method  of  study,  presentation,  and  discussion. 

Assign  the  work  carefully  each  week,  calling 
especial  attention  to  the  "References  for  Study." 
Secure  promises  from  as  many  as  possible  to  read 
at  least  one  of  these  references  and  to  prepare  a 
written  report,  on  one  sheet  of  paper,  for  presen- 
tation at  the  next  session.  Ask  others  to  look  into 
the  special  points  which  will  be  found  in  the  refer- 
ences given  under  the  heading  ''Further  Reading." 


Suggestions  for  Class  Work  285 

In  beginning  a  lesson  it  will  be  wise  to  call 
to  mind  first  the  principle  running  through  the 
book,  that  the  great  work  of  the  family  is  the 
development  of  religious  persons  in  the  home; 
then  call  to  mind  the  application  of  this  prin- 
ciple in  the  last  lesson.  Make  your  review  very 
brief. 

Next,  bring  out  the  leading  topic  of  the  lesson 
for  the  day.  This  should  be  done  so  as  to  present 
a  vital  issue  and  a  live  topic  to  the  class.  Very 
often  the  best  way  of  doing  this  is  to  state  a  con- 
crete case  involving  the  issue  discussed.  The  pres- 
entation of  a  definite  set  of  circumstances  or  a 
fairly  complete  experience  involving  the  funda- 
mental principles  under  discussion  is  an  instance 
of  teaching  by  the  "case  method."  If  the  teacher 
wiU  consider  how  the  law  student  is  trained  by  the 
study  of  particular  cases,  the  advantage  of  the 
method  will  be  clear.  Be  sure  that  the  "case" 
selected  wiU  include  the  principles  to  be  taught. 
Prepare  the  statement  of  the  case  beforehand. 
This  should  be  done  in  a  very  brief  narrative,  so 
giving  the  instance  as  to  enable  the  class  to  see  the 
reality  of  the  question.  Be  sure  that  your  instance 
is  itself  vital  and  probable.  A  class  of  adults  will 
especially  need  such  points  of  vital  contact.  By 
armouncing  the  topic  in  advance  the  teacher  will 
often  be  able  to  obtain  definite  cases  in  point  from 
the  members. 


286    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

With  the  case  thus  presented  take  the  points  in 
the  text  and  apply  them,  first  to  the  special  case 
alone,  but  Mdth  the  purpose  of  developing  the 
principles  involved  in  that  and  similar  cases. 
Beware  of  the  special  danger  of  the  case  method, 
namely,  that  the  class  may  discuss  the  specific 
instances  rather  than  the  principles. 

Teaching  is  more  than  telling;  it  is  stimulating 
other  minds  to  see  and  comprehend  and  state  for 
themselves.  Therefore  the  teacher  must  first 
comprehend  and  be  able  to  state  for  himself. 
Avoid  repeating  the  phrases  of  the  text.  Get 
them  over  into  your  own  language  and  see  that  the 
class  does  the  same.  Do  not  fail  to  call  for  the 
brief  reports  on  reading,  and  to  make  them  a  real 
part  of  the  subject  of  discussion. 

Questioning  is  the  natural  method  of  stimulating 
minds.  Use  the  question  method,  but  do  not 
confine  yourself  to  "What  does  the  author  say  on 
this  ?  "  Direct  your  questions  to  the  points  stated 
and  the  issues  raised  so  as  to  compel  students  to 
think  on  the  topics  and  so  as  to  draw  out  the 
results  of  their  thinking.  Form  your  own  judg- 
ments and  help  the  class  to  form  theirs  too. 
Remember  that  the  purpose  of  the  class  is  to  get 
people  thinking  on  the  great  subjects  discussed. 
The  text  is  not  written  in  order  that  groups  of 
students  may  learn  the  author's  statements,  but 
that  they  may  be  led  to  think  seriously  on  all  these 


Suggestions  for  Class  Work  287 

matters  and  stimulated  to  do  something  about 
them. 

Use  the  "discussion  topics"  given  at  the  end  of 
each  lesson.  They  are  not  designed  to  furnish  a 
syllabus  of  the  lesson,  but  to  suggest  important 
questions  for  discussion,  some  of  which  may  barely 
be  mentioned  in  the  text.  They  may  be  used  in 
assigning  the  advance  work,  giving  topics  to  differ- 
ent students,  and  they  may  be  used  in  your  review 
of  the  previous  lesson. 

A  syllabus  of  each  lesson  will  be  helpful,  pro- 
vided it  be  prepared  by  the  students  themselves. 
Encourage  the  careful  reading  of  the  lesson  by 
every  member  of  the  class,  letting  the  syllabus 
grow  out  of  this. 

Notebooks  will  have  their  largest  value  if  used 
at  home  for  two  purposes:  first,  to  set  down  the 
student's  analysis  of  the  book  as  he  reads,  secondly, 
to  record  the  student's  observations  on  definite 
problems  and  on  practice  in  the  home.  Note- 
taking  in  the  class  will  have  very  little  value  unless 
it  is  backed  up  by  study  at  home. 

Generalization.  Have  clearly  in  your  own  mind  a 
definite  concept  of  the  general  principle  underlying 
each  section.  Read  through  each  section  until  you 
can  state  the  principle  for  yourself.  Bring  your 
teaching  into  a  focus  at  the  point  of  that  principle 
before  the  lesson  ends.  Try  to  get  the  members  of 
the  class  to  state  the  principle  in  their  own  words. 


288    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

In  action:  The  principles  will  have  little  value 
unless  translated  into  practical  methods;  direct 
your  teaching  to  their  actual  use  in  families.  Your 
generalization  is  for  guidance  into  application. 
Urge  that  the  plans  described  be  actually  tried. 
Expect  this  and  call  for  reports  on  plans  tested  in 
the  daily  experience  of  families.  If  a  number  of 
students  would  try,  for  example,  the  plan  of 
worship  suggested  for  two  or  three  weeks  and 
report  their  experiences  in  writing,  together  with 
the  accounts  of  any  other  plans  tried,  a  valu- 
able budget  of  helpful  knowledge  could  thus  be 
gathered.^ 

Conference  plan:  Some  classes  will  be  able  to 
meet  twice  a  week,  taking  the  lesson  at  one  session 
and  at  another  spending  the  time  in  conference. 
At  the  conference  period  the  program  might  pro- 
vide for  (i)  brief  papers  by  members  of  the  class 
on  topics  personally  assigned,  (2)  abstracts  or 
summaries  of  assigned  readings,  (3)  discussion  on 
the  particular  points  raised  in  the  papers,  and  (4) 
conference  on  unsettled  questions  from  the  lesson 
for  the  class  period  preceding. 

'  The  teachers  are  especially  invited  to  secure  records  of 
actual  experiments  of  this  character.  Accounts  of  tried  methods 
of  family  worship,  especially  those  with  new  features,  which 
should  be  given  in  some  detail  as  to  the  exact  plan,  the  circum- 
stances, the  material  used,  and  the  results,  should  be  sent  to  the 
author  in  care  of  the  publishers.  Perhaps  in  this  way  material 
which  may  be  valuable  to  large  numbers  may  be  gathered. 


Suggestions  for  Class  Work         289 

Club  work:  A  parents'  club  might  be  organized, 
either  in  a  church  or  in  connection  with  a  school, 
which  would  use  this  textbook,  follow  the  study- 
work  with  conferences,  and  would  secure  for  its 
own  use  a  library  of  the  books  listed  after  each 
chapter.  Such  a  club  would  be  able  to  put  into 
practice  some  of  the  plans  advocated  and  could 
encourage  their  apphcation  in  groups  of  families. 


APPENDIX  II 
'  A  BOOK  LIST 

The  following  books  would  be  found  useful  for 
the  working  library  of  a  class  or  club  following  the 
study  of  this  text  or  for  a  section  of  the  church 
library  on  the  home  and  family.  The  books 
marked  with  an  asterisk  are  the  ones  which  may  be 
regarded  as  of  first  practical  value  to  parents  and 
others  studying  the  development  of  character  in  the 
life  of  the  family. 

In  addition  to  the  titles  mentioned  below,  the 
the  references  at  the  end  of  each  chapter  in  this 
book  will  furnish  a  list  of  other  sources  of  valuable 
material. 

I.    The  Institution  of  the  Family 

C.  F.  and  C.  B.  Thwing,  The  Family.  Lothrop,  Lee  & 
Shepard,  $i.6o.  A  historical  survey  of  the  family 
with  a  special  study  of  its  modem  dangers  and  needs. 

P.  T.  Forsyth,  Marriage,  Its  Ethics  and  Religion.  Hodder 
&  Stoughton,  $1.25.  An  important,  popular  state- 
ment of  the  ethics  of  marriage  as  the  foundation  of 
family  life. 

*W.  F.  Lofthouse,  Ethics  and  the  Family.  Hodder  & 
Stoughton,  $2 .  50  net.  The  most  important  recent 
book  on  the  family;  traces  its  historical  development, 
the  ethical  ideals  involved  in  the  institution,  and  dis- 
cusses its  present  problems  and  perplexities. 
290 


A  Book  List  291 

Katherine  G.  Busby,  Home  Life  in  America.  Macmillan, 
$2.00  net.  A  popular  statement  of  the  outstanding 
characteristics  of  life  in  American  homes;  entertaining 
and  informing. 

*CIyde  W.  Votaw,  Progress  of  Moral  and  Religious  Education 
in  the  American  Home.  Religious  Education  Asso- 
ciation, $0.25.  A  careful  and  comprehensive  survey, 
of  great  value. 

Charles  A.  L.  Reed,  Marriage  and  Genetics.  Galton  Press, 
Cincinnati,  Ohio,  $1.00.  A  surgeon's  message  on 
eugenics,  especially  on  the  aspects  indicated  in  the 
title.    A  study  of  the  laws  of  human  breeding. 

II.    Child  Nature 

*E.  P.  St.  John,  Child  Nature  and  Child  Nurture.  Pilgrim 
Press,  $0 .  50.  A  textbook  dealing  with  the  nature  of 
the  child  and  with  problems  of  his  training  in  the  home. 

*Irving  King,  The  High  School  Age.  Bobbs-MerrUl  &  Co., 
$1.00  net.  A  study  of  the  nature  and  needs  of  boys 
and  girls  in  the  first  period  of  adolescence.  Written 
for  all  who  are  alive  to  the  problems  of  this  period  as 
well  as  for  school  people;  gives  constructive  suggestions 
for  educational  problems. 

Elizabeth  Harrison,  A  Study  of  the  Child  Nature.  Chicago 
Kindergarten  College,  $1.00.  Long  recognized  as  a 
standard  for  parents  in  the  study  of  the  development 
and  functions  of  the  child-life. 

George  E.  Dawson,  The  Right  of  the  Child  to  Be  Well  Born. 
Funk  &  Wagnalls,  I0.75.  A  plain  study  of  eugenics, 
non-technical  and  helpful;  includes  a  chapter  on 
eugenics  and  religion.    To  be  commended  to  parents. 

George  E.  Dawson,  The  Child  and  His  Religion.  The  Uni- 
versity of  Chicago  Press,  $0. 75.  The  religious  nature 
and  needs  of  the  child  with  some  suggestions  as  to 
method. 


292    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

*W.  Arter  Wright,  The  Moral  Conditions  and  Development 
of  the  Child.  Jennings  &  Graham,  $0.75.  An  im- 
portant and  valuable  book  on  the  newer  views  of  the 
religious  development  of  the  child-life. 

Frederick  Tracy  and  J.  Stempfl,  The  Psychology  of  Child- 
hood. D.  C.  Heath  &  Co.,  $1.20.  Gathers  up  the 
general  results  in  the  field  of  child  psychology. 

*W.  G.  Koons,  The  Child's  Religious  Life.  Jeimings  & 
Graham,  $1.00.  From  the  modern  point  of  view, 
dealing  with  some  of  the  interesting  problems  of  the 
relation  of  the  child  to  religious  life  and  the  develop- 
ment of  his  religious  ideas. 

Thomas  Stephens,  The  Child  and  Religion.  Putnam, 
$1 .  50.  A  series  of  short  papers  by  English  writers, 
particularly  on  the  question  of  child  conversion. 

George  A.  Hubbell,  Up  through  Childhood.  Putnam,  $1 .  25. 
A  good  general  review  with  special  reference  to  reli- 
gious problems  and  religious  institutions. 

Edith  E.  R.  Mumford,  The  Dawn  of  Character.  Longmans, 
Green  &  Co.,  $1 .  20.  A  very  important  book,  dealing 
especially  with  the  moral  development  of  young 
children. 

III.    Training  in  the  Home 

William  B.  Forbush  (ed.),  Guide  Book  to  Childhood. 
American  Institute  of  Child  Life,  Philadelphia,  Pa. 
Very  valuable  as  a  guide  to  reading  on  the  many 
problems  of  child-training. 

LeGrand  Kerr,  The  Care  and  Training  of  the  Child.  Funk 
&  Wagnalls,  $0.75.  A  good,  general,  brief  study  of  the 
nature  of  the  child  and  the  method  of  education. 

William  J.  Shearer,  The  Management  and  Training  of  the 
Child.  Richardson,  Smith  &  Co.  A  popular  and 
practical  statement  of  many  problems  and  their  treat- 
ment in  the  home  and  school. 


A  Book  List  293 

John  Wirt  Dinsmore,  The  Training  of  Children.  Ameri- 
can Book  Co.  While  written  for  school-teachers,  this 
is  one  of  the  best  studies  which  parents  could  possibly 
read. 

A.  A.  Berle,  The  School  in  the  Home.  Moffat,  Yard  &  Co., 
$1.00.  Contains  much  valuable  suggestion  to  parents 
who  really  desire  to  take  advantage  of  the  educational 
opportunities  of  the  home. 

John  Locke,  How  to  Train  Up  Your  Children.  Sampson, 
Low,  Marston  &  Co.,  London.  Written  over  two 
hundred  years  ago,  and  yet  of  very  great  value  in 
many  parts  to  day. 

*William  B.  Forbush,  The  Coming  Generation.  D.  Appleton 
&  Co.,  $1.50.  Discusses  the  various  aspects  of  chUd- 
training  in  the  light  of  the  social  consciousness  of  today. 
Many  of  the  public  agencies  for  chUd  betterment  are 
carefully  discussed. 

*William  A.   McKeever,    Training  the  Girl.     MacmUlan, 

$1.50. 

* ,    Training   the   Boy.     Macmillan,    $i .  50.    These 

two  books  constitute  one  of  the  best  collections  of 
material,  most  practical  and  helpful.  They  view  girls 
and  boys  as  active  factors  and  all  the  phases  of  home 
and  community  life  are  studied  with  reference  to  their 
needs. 

IV.    Special  Religious  Training  in  the  Home 

*George  Hodges,  The  Training  of  the  Child  in  Religion. 
D.  Appleton  &  Co.,  $1 .  50.  One  of  the  few  books  deal- 
ing in  any  modern  manner  with  the  special  problems 
of  the  religious  life  of  the  family. 

Rev.  WUliam  Becker,  Christian  Education  or  The  Duties 
of  Parents.  B.  Herder,  St.  Louis,  $1.00.  Recent  and 
interesting  sermons  on  the  duties  of  parents  in  the 


294    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 

religious  education  of  the  Catholic  child;  a  striking 
example  of  messages  that  ought  to  be  heard  from  every 
pulpit. 

John  T.  Faris,  Pleasant  Sunday  Afternoons  for  the  Children. 
Sunday  School  Times  Co.,  $0.50.  A  number  of 
practical  plans  are  suggested. 

*George  A.  Coe,  Education  in  Religion  and  Morals.  Flem- 
ing H.  Revell  Co.,  $1.35.  A  book  which  all  parents 
ought  to  read  for  its  valuable  guidance  on  the  general 
principles  of  religious  education. 

Elizabeth  Grinnell,  How  John  and  I  Brought  Up  the  Children. 
American  Sunday  School  Union,  $0.70.  A  popular 
statement  in  a  simple  form  of  methods  of  dealing  with 
many  of  the  problems  of  religious  training. 


V.    Moral  Training 

Edward  H.   Griggs,  Moral  Education.    B.  W.  Huebsch, 

$1 .  60.    One  of  the  best-known  books  on  this  question, 

readable  and  helpful  at  many  points. 
Ennis  Richmond,   The  Mind  of   the    Child.    Longmans, 

Green  &  Co.,  $1.00.     One  of  the  most  helpful  books 

because  of  its  new  and  refreshing  point  of  view. 
*Edward  O.   Sisson,   The  Essentials  of  Character.     Mac- 

millan,  $1.00.    A  book  on  the  broad  principles  and 

ideals;   one  dealing  with  the  outstanding  elements  of 

character. 
Ernest  H.  Abbott,  On  the  Training  of  Parents.    Houghton 

Mifflin  Co.,  $1 .00.     A  bright  statement  of  some  of  the 

most  perplexing  problems  of  family  life. 
*Mary  Wood-Allen,  Making  the  Best  of  Our  Children.    First 

and  Second  Series.    A.  C.  McClurg  &  Co.,  $1 .  00  each. 

Takes  one  after  another  of  the  different  situations  in 

child-training. 


A  Book  List  295 

*Patterson  DuBois,  The  Culture  of  Justice.  Dodd,  Mead 
&  Co.,  $0.75.  An  important  contribution,  as  it  calls 
attention  to  some  frequently  neglected  aspects  of  moral 
training  especially  applicable  to  the  home. 

Walter  L.  Sheldon,  Duties  in  the  Home.  W.  M.  Welch  & 
Co.  A  textbook,  the  thirty  sections  of  which  would 
furnish  an  excellent  basis  for  parents'  discussions  of 
home  discipline. 

VI.     General  Reading  in  the  Home 

John  Macy,  ChiWs  Guide  to  Reading.  Baker  &  Taylor  Co., 
$1.25.  A  discussion  of  reading  and  the  education  of 
children  thereby,  with  suggestions  and  criticisms  of 
suitable  books  in  different  departments  of  reading. 

W.  T.  Taylor,  Finger  Posts  to  Children's  Reading.  A.  C. 
McClurg  &  Co.,  fi.oo.  A  practical  discussion  of 
suitable  reading  for  children,  with  a  list  of  books. 

*G.  W.  Arnold,  A  Mothers'  List  of  Books  for  Children.  A.  C. 
McClurg  &  Co.,  $1.00.  The  books  are  arranged  by 
ages  and  topics,  making  this  one  of  the  most  useful 
collections  available. 

.Edward  P.  St.  John,  Stories  and  Story  Telling.  Eaton  & 
Mains,  $0.35.  A  textbook,  for  parents'  classes.  It 
contains  much  valuable  material. 

E.  M.  Partridge,  Story  Telling  in  School  and  Home.  Sturgis 
&  Walton,  $1.35.  One  of  the  best  discussions  of  the 
principles  and  methods  of  story-teUing,  with  a  number 
of  good  stories. 


INDEX 


Activity  in  relation  to  charac- 
ter, 75 

Amusement  of  young  people, 
190 

Anger,  Dealing  with,  224 

Bible,  Methods  of  using  the, 

121 
Bible,  The,  in  the  home,  119 
Blessing  at  table,  133 
Book  list  on  the  family,  290 
Books  and  reading,  113 
Boy,  The,  in  the  family,  173 
Bc^s'  play,  175 
Bullying,  253 

Character,  A  constructive 

policy  for,  269 
Child  nature,  Books  on,  291 
Child  imity  with  the  church, 

207 
Child  welfare.  Religious  mean- 
ings of,  3 
Childhood  characteristics,  53 
Christian    family.    The,    as    a 

type,  41 
Church,  The,  and  the  children, 

204 
Church,  The,  and  the  family, 

198 
Church,  The,  and  the  program 

of  the  home,  271 
Citizenship,  Training  for,  96 
Class  work.  Plans  of,  281 
Community,  The,  in  relation  to 

the  home,  88 
Community  service,  91 


Conversation,  Religious,  62 
Courtship,  188 

Dishonesty,  249 

Economic  development  of  the 

home,  13 
Educational  function.  The,  of 

the  family,  46 
Educational  process.  The,  49 

Factory  system,  The,  and  the 
home,  14 

Family  as  an  institution,  Books 
on  the,  290 

"Family  Book,"  155 

Family  defined,  5 

Family  ideal  in  the  church,  202 

Family  life.  Dominating  mo- 
tive of,  27 

Family  worship,  126 

Family  worship,  Methods  of, 

133 
Father,  The,  and  the  boy,  177 
Father,  The,  and  the  famUy, 

263 
Fighting  among  children,  234 
Function  of  the  family,  46 
Future  of  the  family,  268 

Girl,  The,  in  the  family,  180 
God,  The  consciousness  of,  64 
Grace  at  table,  133 

Hebrew  family  life,  39 
Home  and  school  co-operation, 

213 
Home,  is  it  passing  ?  10 


297 


298    Religious  Education  in  the  Family 


Home,    Religious    interpreta- 
tion of,  I 
Home  versus  family,  18,  22 
Honesty,  Training  in,  249 
Hymns  for  cMldren,  102 

Jesus'  teaching  on  the  family, 
42 

Loyalty  as  the  basic  principle, 

31,  54 
Loyalty,  The  organization  of, 

57 
Lying  and  the  moral  problem, 

240 

Meals,  Conversation  at,  165 
Moral  crises.  Dealing  with,  218 
Moral  life,  religious  roots  in  the 

family,  31 
Moral  teaching,  70 
Moral  training,  Books  on,  294 
Motive,     Religious,      in     the 

family,   2 
Music  in  the  family,  105 

Organization  of  home,  Purpose 
of,  19 

Parental  aversion,  186 
Parenthood  and  religious  train- 
ing, 260 
Parents'  classes,  274 
Parents  trained  in  schools,  214 
Petulancy  in  children,  233 
Play  activity,  107 
Play,  A  policy  of,  150 
Play  on  Sunday,  149 
Prayers,  Children's,  135 
Prayers,  Family,  137 

Quarrels  of  children,  231 
Questions,  Children's,  69 


Reading 

"5 
Religious 

family, 
Religious 

child,  s 
Religious 

family. 
Religious 

of,  47 
Religious 
Religious 

37 
Religious 
Religious 


Developing  taste  for, 

character    of     the 
46 

development  of  the 
2 

education     in     the 
Books  on,  293 
education.  Meaning 

growth  of  the  child,  55 
history  of  the  family, 

ideas  of  children,  60 
service,  78,  80 


School,  The  home  as  a,  87 
Schools,  Public,  and  the  home, 

212 
Self-control,  Developing,   227, 

236 
Social  life  of  youth,  189 
Social  qualities  to  be  developed, 

28 
Social  training,  29,  82,  92 
Socialization  of  the  home,  16 
Song  and  story,  loi 
Spiritual  values.  Place  of,  30 
Stories  and  reading,  no 
Story-telling,  no 
Simday  afternoon  problem,  1 54 
Sunday  in  the  home,  145 
Sunday  play,  149 

Table,  Ministry  of  the,  164 

Table-talk,  169 

Teasing  and  bulljang,  253 

Will,  Training  the,  221 
Work  and  character,  76 
Worship  in  the  family,  126 
Worship,  Outlines  of,  139 

Youth  in  the  home,  183 


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